Swara used to come to our house to play with Uttara and my other sister Visha. The festivals were celebrated together and Swara became the favorite girl of my Badi Maa and Mom. Even Uttara and Visha like to be around her, She learned cooking around the age of 10, and from then, she used to cook in our house every Sunday as everyone in the family loves her handmade food. I don't know why, but she never initiated a conversation with me. We used to have this silent eye contact over the dining table, and I used to tease her whenever we bumped into each other; other than that, we never talk. She used to chatter with Laksh and Uttara a lot, but when she senses my presence around her, she becomes this timid little bunny and the attraction I had for her grew every year.
But that one moment.
When I realized that my attraction had blossomed into Love is something I could never explain.
As if I found out the reason for my very existence.
I felt alive.
It's still etched on my mind like it happened yesterday. I was 17 back then. I came back home after my coaching one evening and saw Anu Aunty all tensed talking Mom and Badi Maa about something. I reached the hall and couldn't stop myself from eavesdropping the conversation clearly.
"Sujata, I don't know what to do now? Amma, Appa will be arriving after 5 days only as Anuj [Anu's brother] got stuck with an important meeting and I can't keep Swara inside the house for a long time without doing the rituals." Auntie's words confused me while Mom and Badi Maa tried to calm her down.
"Anu, calm down. You ask Amma what and all we have to do. Jiji and I will make sure of the arrangement. In our culture, we never had this, but don't worry it's a celebration for our Swara. First, you go and comfort her, my child would have been frightened, you just message us what we have to bring Jiji and I will bring them," their conversation was so weird, but more than weird I was worried about Swara. She used to get scared of small, small things. I went to my room to shower and came out of the room getting into my casuals. I looked down from the corridor and saw Badi Maa preparing a plate with fruits, jewels, etc. in the living room. I went towards my parents' room and stooped at the door itself hearing their conversation.
"Sujata why are you asking me to get ready like this?" Dad asked wearing a golden and brown mixed sherwani.
"Ji, Swara attained puberty and according to Anu's custom, they can't keep Swara inside the house without doing some rituals. Swara's mama has to gift her jewels, dress and her Mami along with few women has to pour water on Swara and welcome her inside the house. As Swara's Mama, Mami is stuck in the U.S., Anu wanted us to do the rituals. South Indians celebrates everything regarding women unlike us," I moved towards their window and saw Mom open a packet which had a designer golden lehenga, and placed it neatly on the silver plate.
Being a Science student, I knew what Mom was talking about. Swara is menstruating for the first time. I studied that at this time of month girls feel extreme cramps and mood swings. The thought of Swara in pain didn't settle well with me. I wanted to see her and comfort her. I went to my room and got ready in a blue shirt paired with jeans along with a Rolex watch. After setting my hair, I came down and saw everyone ready, but Laksh is arguing with Badi Maa.
"Maa, this is not fair, Swara is my friend and you are saying I can't meet her. What kind of celebration is this where we can't meet or congratulate Swara?"
"Badi Maa, Mom what happened?"
"Sanskar, you too? Anu told us you guys can't meet Swara till next Sunday. According to their custom, boys can't meet the girl who attained her puberty." Badi Maa explained impatiently seeing us all ready.
"But Bade Papa and Dad are coming with you guys" I tried to reason.
"They have to do the rituals and they are elders that's why they are coming with us. You guys go back to your rooms, and study" Mom said, and all of the members left to the colony, leaving me and Laksh alone. Being the curious foxes, Laksh and I researched this South Indian custom. In South India, people celebrate the first menstruation as a part of a girl reaching towards the goal of becoming a complete woman. They celebrate the girl's puberty to tell all the relatives and friends that the small girl they knew; is not anymore a small girl, but bloomed into a beautiful young adult. There are two parts to the ceremony. The first part is for the close-knit people where her uncle and aunty give her the first-ever half saree to wear.
That's when I realized why Mom bought that golden lehenga. After the first part of the ceremony, the girl will be isolated and can only meet girls. No boy can meet her. During the second part of the ceremony, only all can meet her.
"This is absurd. What kind of thing is this? Boys can't meet girls etc., Anyways I am going to play video games, what about you Bhai?" Laksh asked me while my eyes etched on a girl wearing a half saree with flower jewels on the website.
"No Lucky, I have the assignment to complete, you go and play," Laksh went to his room while I researched some more about the custom and all. I heard laughing sounds of girls coming from the balcony and walked to my balcony. The colony is a two-floor building with a terrace. The terrace is adjacent to my balcony, so I could see Uttara, Visha, and a few more girls teasing and laughing while my eyes tried to find HER. One of the girls saw me looking at them and said something. Immediately another wave of laughter erupted from there, and I walked inside my room in embarrassment.
It was past midnight, and I couldn't sleep thinking about Swara. She always used to wander in our house till dinner time and then goes to her house. I could never sleep without having a glimpse of her face, but now; I sighed in frustration. Badi Maa and Mom were praising Swara's beauty, and they were suggesting doing the same rituals for Uttara and Visha also. That time only I realized Swara is staying in the terrace, in isolation as their house is a 1bhk. Wearing my jeans and shirt back, I took out the silver anklets which I brought for Swara's birthday from my pocket money savings. I jumped over from my balcony to the terrace and saw the shadow of a bed behind a white cloth. I slowly went towards the cloth.
"Swara... Swara..." I called her out slowly and saw her silhouette waking up due to the moonlight.
"Who is there?" Her fear-filled voice reached my ears.
"It's me, Sanskar."
"What are you doing here? You shouldn't come to meet me at this time." I could feel an urgency in her words. As if she wants to chase me away from there.
"I came here to ask about your health. I am 17 and I know what you are going through. At this time, you will feel pain in your lower abdomen, so I came to check on you." I said calmly using proper words so that she won't get embarrassed.
"It's... I mean... I was scared when it happened. I don't know what to do, but then Mom was there, so she explained everything. It's not paining that much now," her innocence made my heart flutter in happiness. No girl will discuss these things with a guy, but she is doing it with me.
"I wanted to give you this gift. I thought of giving this on your birthday, but I read on a website that when someone comes to meet you, they should gift you something." an eerie silence prevailed. Slowly, Swara came out of the barrier and the girl who stood in front of was not Swara.
I mean not the girl I saw a day before. Draped in a mustard green silk half saree, her hair flowing till her waist, ears adorned with small gold jhumkas, hands with Alta. She looked a woman to me.
MY WOMAN
I felt breathless; as if someone knocked all the air out of my lungs. I wanted to shield her away from the world. Her cheeks chubbier than before with a tint of blush, eyes etched on the ground not looking at my face. No man is allowed to look at her like this, only I have the right. That exact moment I realized I love her with all of my heart, mind, and soul. It was not a teenage crush or infatuation, but pure love for the woman who is standing in front of me.
"I should not see your face, but I can't send you back without getting my gift." her melodic voice brought me back to earth. I gave her the box and asked her to take care of herself. She went back behind the white cloth while I jumped over to my balcony and just fell on my bed without even caring to change the attire as the image of her face glowing in the moonlight just didn't leave my mind and I also don't want that to happen.
SANSKAR MAHESHWARI YOU ARE OFFICIAL SCREWED.