Chereads / I'm dead without you / Chapter 47 - Dorian's worst fear

Chapter 47 - Dorian's worst fear

The days that followed the visit to the spa, Finian was exhausted. And no matter how much he slept, he didn't feel any less tired. During dinner one evening, Caoimhe asked Finian how he could be so tired when he just been to a spa resort. She had never been to a spa herself, but she thought you were supposed to be relaxed afterwards. Finian didn't really know what to answer, Dorian simply grinned, looking quite smug, and Shiro choked on the water he was drinking. Caoimhe just stared confused at the three men, noticing their strange behaviour and looked at Eamon, who was beet red in the face and then it hit her.

"Eeeeewww," she shouted and looked at her two fathers in disgust.

Dorian laughed so hard that he almost fell off the chair while Finian sighed and hid his face in his hands, and Shiro just wanted to crawl under the table.

"What's going on?" Ikumi asked, not understanding why everybody was acting so weird.

"Nothing, sweetie," Shiro quickly said and looked at Dorian, begging him to stop laughing.

Dorian tried, but the look on Caoimhe and Eamon faces was too damn funny.

"Aren't you too young to know about this Caoimhe?" Dorian chuckled.

"Dad, I'm twelve! Even preschoolers know about this stuff."

"Knows about what?" Ikumi asked, and her voice was filled with desperation because she felt left out, and she hated it.

"I'll tell you later," Caoimhe said to Ikumi, which got Shiro to turn pale.

"What? No!"

"Common, she's old enough. And look, Eamon's probably even done it already. I bet we're going to hear him and his girlfriend messing around as soon all you grown-ups are away."

Everyone turned to Eamon who's eyes were huge, and his mouth was open in shock.

"No way! I haven't done anything. Stop saying nonsense Caoimhe."

Caoimhe snorted and put down the knife and fork.

"I'm telling you. If Eamon's anything like dad and Daídai, you will be having kids before you turn eighteen."

"Caoimhe!" Finian shouted, staring at his daughter with shock.

All the while, Dorian cried of laughter and nodded, saying, "it's true; it's true."

"What? I got bloody ears, you know. Right, Eamon!"

Eamon, who clearly wanted to disappear, grunted and hid his face in his hands.

"Please, kill me now."

Ikumi suddenly flinched, her eyes got big, and her whole face became dark red, all the way down to her neck and up to her ears.

"Oh!" She said, looked at Eamon and got a sad expression on her face, but no one noticed it except Shiro. And he looked at his daughter with worry.

Dorian's roaring laughter and the banter between Caoimhe and Eamon continued until Finian got up from his chair and suddenly lost his balance. He tried to grab on the table but couldn't and fell on his side, hitting the floor hard. Everybody screamed, and Dorian was quickly by his side.

"Finian, are you hurt?" He cried out, but Finian didn't answer. He was unconscious, and his face was grey.

"Call an ambulance," Dorian screamed, but Shiro was already dialling the number.

Caoimhe was crying by her father's side, Eamon stood beside her and didn't know what to do, and Ikumi clutched on to her father, tears streaming down her face.

Dorian stared at Finian, caressing his cheek. He felt so cold. Dorian begged him to open his eyes, to wake up. But Finian showed no sign of hearing Dorian. The only thing that convinced them that he was still alive was that the chest kept slowly rise and fall. Nothing more.

The ambulance came within ten minutes, and the paramedics carefully put Finian on a stretcher. That's when they noticed the blood. He's back was dark red. When Dorian saw the blood, it felt like someone poured a bucket of cold water over him. He stared at the bloodstain that was left on the floor, and he couldn't move. Dorian felt someone pull his arm, but he couldn't tear his eyes from the blood. He could hear someone calling his name, but he couldn't react. The blood was all that Dorian could see. Until someone yanked his head to the side, and he stood face to face with Shiro.

"Dorian, you have to go with the ambulance."

Dorian snapped out of the shock and nodded.

He couldn't remember how he got there, but he found himself suddenly riding in the back with Finian in the ambulance, looking as the paramedics hooked his husband up to different machines and put an oxygen mask over his face.

"Can you tell us what happened?" One of the women said, and Dorian flinched by her voice.

He looked at her and tried to talk but couldn't form any words. The woman seemed to understand, and she put her hand over Dorian's.

"I understand this is hard, but we need to know what happened so we can help your husband."

Her calm voice helped Dorian relax. He took a deep breath, and then he told her what had happened. His voice was shaking all the time. The paramedic turned to her colleague and gave him some instructions. And Dorian could hear the driver tell the hospital that they were bringing a pregnant male alpha, unconscious and bleeding from his rectum. Dorian could also hear the driver ask someone if Finian had complained about stomach pain. He then heard Shiro answer that Finian hadn't said anything about it but that the alpha had been very tired the past days. When Dorian heard Shiro's voice, he became calmer. He wasn't alone. He had Shiro there by his side. Dorian took Finian's hand in his and squeezed it gently. He leaned down and kissed Finian's cold cheek.

"I love you, and I need you. Please, you have to wake up."

But Finian didn't wake up.

The ambulance arrived at the hospital, and Dorian followed the stretcher, holding Shiro's hand hard. When Finian was brought into an emergency room, the two men had to wait outside, and as the door closed, the men stared at each other. At first, they were completely quiet, then Dorian broke down. It started with the tears that filled his bright blue eyes, which were always supposed to be beaming, and the tears stream down his cheeks. Then his bottom lip began to tremble, and Shiro could hear the faint sound of a whimper pass through his lips. Lips that should have been smiling that lovely, happy smile of his. Shiro hugged Dorian, and when he did, the alpha put his arms around Shiro and wept. His heartbreaking cry echoed through the hallway, and his forehead rested against Shiro's shoulder. Shiro struggled to keep them from falling over. He shut his eyes hard, tried not to cry, even though he wanted nothing more. But he had to be strong. Dorian needed him.

Shiro tried to keep them standing, but Dorian was too heavy, and carefully, he managed to get them down on the floor, where they embraced each other. They sat there, and Shiro had never felt time pass so slowly.

"What should I do?" Dorian cried. "I don't know what I should do?"

Shiro stroked Dorian's back and held him tightly against his slender body.

"The doctor's will take care of him. Everything will be alright," Shiro spoke softly.

"There was so much blood. What if he dies? I can't live without him. I just can't!"

Shiro knew this, and it didn't actually hurt as much as he thought it would hear it. He figured that if Finian and Dorian weren't there anymore, he soon would follow them, and that would be alright with him. His life had changed so much that he couldn't imagine a world without the two alphas in it. Dorian wouldn't be Dorian without Finian, and if Dorian stopped being himself, then for Shiro, it would be as if all joy in the world just vanished. And he could never live without that happiness ever again.

"He won't die, Mr McCallister," they heard a voice say from above them, and the two men looked up.

A doctor was standing beside them, and the dark-haired woman looked at them with a calm expression. Shiro got Dorian up from the floor with the woman's help and took him to a chair. Dorian slumped down and looked at the woman, his face was pale, and his eyes were red.

"Dr McCallister is currently awake, but he's a bit confused and in great pain. We did an ultra scan and what we saw was that a piece of the placenta has come loose. This is what caused the blood loss and pain. We have taken blood samples and sent them to the laboratory. We will know more when we get the results. There hasn't been any more blood for the time being, but Dr McCallister needs to stay still and be calm. We will as soon as possible move him to a room on the second floor."

"Can we see him?" Dorian asked. His voice was sore.

"Only one person," the doctor answered.

Shiro nodded as he understood. He didn't want to, but he knew he would have to wait to see Finian. But Dorian firmly shook his head.

"No, both of us are going."

The doctor heaved her eyebrow and looked a bit annoyed at Dorian but sighed and nodded.

"Alright, but don't do anything to agitate him. Dr McCallister needs to rest."

"We understand," Dorian said and got up from the chair.

Shiro walked hand in hand with Dorian after the doctor, and he glanced at his mate. In an instant, the frail Dorian had been replaced with this though alpha that took control, and Shiro was amazed how quickly Dorian could calm himself down. Shiro knew that Dorian was forcing himself, and Shiro promised to take care of Dorian again when he needed him. When they entered the room, they were both holding their breath, and when Dorian saw Finian, he rushed over to him without losing his grip on Shiro. Finian saw them, and he smiled. It was a tired smile, but it was filled with love. Dorian kissed Finian's forehead and caressed his cheek.

"How are you, my love?"

"I'm tired."

"Does it hurt?"

"A little bit. But the painkiller helps."

"Good."

Dorian looked at the doctor. He held Finian's and Shiro's hands in a firm grip.

"What about the baby?"

"The baby is fine. He's lively and very big.

The three men sighed with relief, and Dorian kissed Finian on the lips.

"How're the kids?" Finian asked and looked at Shiro.

"I asked the neighbours to watch them until Keith and Simon came. I think they are on their way," Shiro answered.

Finian looked relieved. He knew that he must have scared everyone, and he wanted to see the kids as soon as possible. Dorian also turned to Shiro, and he was filled with gratitude. He had completely lost grip of himself back there, and regretfully he hadn't taken care of his kids as he should. But Shiro had stepped up and done what Dorian couldn't. And for that, Dorian was grateful. And impressed. Shiro looked delicate and could act wary at times, but he took control when it really mattered.

"I'm sorry, but we need to get Dr McCallister to the second floor now," the doctor said.

Dorian and Shiro waited outside until Finian came out. He was lying in the hospital bed, and a nurse pushed the bed in front of her. Dorian and Shiro walked alongside the bed, and the doctor followed with them. Nobody said anything, not when they walking down the corridor nor in the elevator. They didn't say anything until they came to the room where Finian would stay.

"I want to see my children," Finian said and looked at the doctor, who nodded.

"Yes, but only for a short while. Then one person can stay overnight if you want to."

Finian glanced at Dorian, who nodded.

"Yes, I would like that," Finian said.

"Alright, I will arrange a bed for you, Mr McCallister."

"Thank you," Dorian said and felt relieved.

He was afraid that the doctor would refuse to let him stay. Dorian had a feeling she didn't like him very much.

Shiro went to get the kids and Dorian's parents waiting by the elevator on the first floor. The doctor excused herself at the same time, and Dorian and Finian were left alone. Exhausted, Dorian took a chair and placed it by Finian's side. He then took Finians hand in his and placed a soft kiss on Finians knuckles.

"I love you."

Finian smiled, and with his free hand, he stroked Dorian's soft hair.

"I know. I love you too."

"I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to you."

Dorian didn't look Finian in the eyes, his eyes were faced down, and he held Finian's hand to his lips. Dorian's warm breath felt hot against his skin.

"Luv, please look at me," Finian asked softly.

Dorian hesitated but slowly looked up. His eyes were filled with tears, and he looked so heartbroken that Finian's chest hurt.

"I have never been so scared in my life. I thought I lost you."

"Don't worry. I won't go anywhere."

Dorian bit his underlip, stopping himself from whimper, and he nodded as he understood, which made Finian smile. Dorian was adorable when he looked vulnerable. He was about to say something, but the door opened, and Caoimhe rushed in, crying her eyes out.

"Daídai!"

The girl carefully kissed her father's cheek and hugged him, trying not to touch Finian's round belly.

"I was so scared," she cried.

Finian comforted his daughter by saying reassuring words and stroked her red hair. He looked up at Eamon, who was standing a bit away, looking like he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Come here, Eamon," Finian said, and the boy quickly did as his father asked, walking up to the bed and took Finian's outstretched hand in his.

"I'm sorry for scaring you, but I'm much better now."

"Are you really feeling better?" Eamon asked, his voice weak and Finian nodded.

"Yes, I am. And I promise that nothing more is going to happen."

Eamon and the whimpering Caoimhe nodded and hugged their father again. They knew that Finian was trying hard to calm them, so they said nothing, but they were still scared.

Finian looked past his two children and noticed Ikumi standing by her father. The girl was pale in her face, and she trembled. Finian understood. It wasn't that long ago that her father died. This whole thing surely brought back bad memories for her. Finian smiled calmly at the girl and did a little wave with his hand, urging the girl to come to him. Ikumi looked up at her father, who nodded, and she walked to the bed, looking so very small. Eamon and Caoimhe let the girl get closer to the bed, and Finian put his hand on the girl's cheek while Caoimhe put her arm around Ikumi's trembling shoulders.

"Were you scared?"

The girl nodded.

"I understand, sweetheart, but I'm fine now, and the doctors will help me get better. So don't worry, alright?"

The girl nodded again, her hand squeezing Finian's hard. She didn't say anything, but she looked a little calmer at Finian's words.

Dorian leaned over the bed and stroked the girl's hair, making the girl look up at him. Dorian's calming smile made all her anxiousness disappear. That was Dorian's greatest gift, after all. His ability to make people feel safe.

They talked for a while until it was time for the Shiro and the kids to go back home. The doctor had come back and told them that Finian needed to rest now. So Keith and Simon, who had joined the family for a few minutes to see how Finian was doing, took them home. Shiro was the last person to leave the room, and before he left, Dorian embraced him.

"Thank you for everything," he said.

Shiro put his arms around Dorian's back and snuggled close.

"Please, call me before you fall asleep."

"I will. I love you."

With his face still hidden against Dorian's chest, Shiro smiled.

"I love you too."

The doctor, who was standing beside them, suddenly cleared her throat, and it made Shiro let go of Dorian, and he took a step back. He looked awkward, which made Dorian frown, and he glanced at the woman, feeling irritated. Shiro looked at Finian and waved goodbye.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he said.

"Please do. And take care of our children," Finian said, his smile filled with kindness.

Together they watched as Shiro quickly walked out the room, and as soon as the door closed behind him, Dorian missed him.

"Shiro will be alright," Finian said from the bed, and Dorian turned around.

"I know. He's much stronger than I first thought. He continues to impress me."

Finian laughed, which hurt a little, but he didn't let it show.

"Well, you shouldn't be surprised. Just think of everything he's been through."

"Yeah, you're right," Dorian smiled affectionately. "I'm going to the shop to get something to eat. What do you want?"

Having no appetite, Finian just wanted something sweet to drink, and Dorian left the room. Leaving Finian alone with the doctor. The redhaired alpha looked at the woman.

"You seem bothered."

"I have to admit that I'm confused and worried."

"Worried?"

"Yes. You need a calm environment," the doctor said, and she really did sound worried.

"And you're worried that my family situation may be an obstacle to that?"

"Yes."

"Well, I assure you that it's perfectly fine. I have a family that loves me and cares for me. So much that I'm quite spoiled."

The doctor looked at Finian for several minutes without saying anything, then she nodded and turned around.

"Well, as long as you can rest, I guess it's fine. I'm leaving now, and another doctor will come later with the test results. Take care."

And the woman left. Finian stared at the door and chuckled to himself. He had met several doctors like her over the years, capable of curing people but lacked the social part of their profession.

Finian leaned back against the pillow and closed his eyes while his hands were resting on his belly. He could feel the 'not so little'- one moving around in there.

"It's been such an awful day, but it doesn't seem to bother you the slightest, little ladybug," he chuckled to himself, his voice tender.

And laying there on the hospital bed waiting for his beloved husband to come back, Finian promised himself that he would make an appointment for sterilization when this pregnancy was over. Because there was no way in hell, he would risk going through this again. He didn't really trust contraception, thanks to Dorian being a prime and all. Dorian could surely get even an impotent male alpha pregnant if he put his mind to it.

Finian giggled when he thought about it and slowly felt himself falling asleep. He didn't wake up when Dorian came back, nor did he notice when his husband began to panic when he looked if Finian was breathing but got relieved when he understood that Finian was only sleeping. He also didn't notice when Dorian gently kissed his cheek and said that he loved him with a voice filled with the deepest affection.

And when Finian woke up the next morning, he found Dorian sitting in the chair with his head resting on the bed and his hand clutching Finians. And Finian was filled with so much love for this beautiful man that he thought he would burst. And even though his body hurt, Finian was happy and felt like he was the most cherished person in the entire world.