The next day in Tay's car, I look out of the window as he drives to our destination. Last night he said that he wanted to show me something today.
I look over at Tay, and his eyes are focused on the road. He is wearing blue denim jeans, a blue t-shirt, and a black jacket. He turns his head and smiles at me. I return it and look at my surroundings. I have never been to this side of neighborhood before. We pass some buildings and after a while, the car stops.
"Come on." Tay says, and we climb out of his car. He grabs my hand as we make our way towards the building; I look over at our entangled fingers and let out a deep breath. My heart is racing fast. Why am I so afraid? Why can't I be a normal girl with no demons?
The building feels like home, kids are running around, women sitting in a circle. What is this place? We enter an office; a man in his mid-forties is going through some papers.
"Hey, Vince?" The man looks up and forms a smile when he sees Tay.
"Tay, it's so good to see you, kiddo!" Vince says, and walks around the table to meet us halfway. They give each other bro hugs.
"This is Olivia, my fiancée." I offer my hand, but Vince has other plans and pulls me into a hug. I stiffen a little but made sure not to make it known.
"Nice to meet," he says.
"You too." I smile at him.
"Where is Donald?" Tay asks. Vince leans against his table, and we sit on the couch.
"You just missed him. He got a phone call, and left after that." Vince informs Tay.
"Oh, I wanted him to meet Olivia but I guess they will meet some other time." Tay frowns.
"I will show Olivia around,"
"What is this place?" I ask as we walk down the hall.
"Payne Foundation, I started it after my sister's death. It is for women and kids who went what you went through." Tay says, and I swallow hard thinking about it.
"Donald is my cousin. He is a lawyer. He spends most of his time here helping these women." Tay continues.
We stop in front of two big doors.
"This is the library; some come in here to read and to do some research. We have almost every book," Tay says and opens the door. We walk in and a girl is sitting in the middle, her back is facing us.
"That is Adore; she spends most of her time reading. She was raped by her stepfather when she was fourteen. She thinks books make her feel alive again! I think she has read most of the books that are here. Once she reads, it's hard to get her attention." Tay informs, and I walk to the girl.
She is holding Behind Closed doors. My heart beats fast at the sight of my book. I have never been in a situation where someone is reading my book in front of me. I take a deep breath and sit across the girl. She hasn't noticed that there are people around here, and I lean back on my chair and watch her. She tugs at the bottom of the page to turn it over. And that is when she notices me.
She looks at me wide-eyed. She hasn't realised that Tay is here. "Um, who are you?" Adore asks.
"Olivia," I tell her and lean over the table.
"What are you reading?" I ask, even though I already know by the cover that it's my book.
"Behind closed doors." Adore replies, and I half-smile at her.
"I heard it's a good book." Tay finally joined in.
"Good! Uncle, this is not just an ordinary book. This is freaking amazing!" She places her hand over her mouth when she realises she cursed. I smile at her, and Tay laughs.
"Would you like to meet her? The author?" Tay asks Adore.
"Oh my God! Yes. What she wrote here made me feel like I'm not alone. Her words opened up my burned wound but healed them at the same time. I always thought that I went through the most in this world, but no, I was wrong. Her words made me realise that everyone eventually goes through something and we shouldn't hold up our lives just because of some sick asshole who couldn't keep it in his pants. That life is a miracle, a movie, a book, a journal that also has an ending. That is up to us to let our experiences destroy us or mold us. What makes her even more special is that she wrote it when she was still in high school. I have read every novel in this library but none of them can compare to this one. She is my role model; I want to be just like her!" I am in tears by the time Adore finishes.
I didn't realise that I have touched so many lives. I knew people were crazy to meet me, but this is beyond everything I had ever imagined.
"What will you ask her if she was in front of you right now?" Tay asks Adore and she beams brightly.
"For a hug!" she says with the most precious smile I have ever seen.
"I'm waiting then." I say and stand up. She looks shocked, but runs into my arms. She embraces me like I'm not real at all. She sobs against my chest, and I look over at where Tay is. He is watching us with a bright smile on his face and captures a photo of us.
"Oh my god. I cannot believe this. I am surely dreaming!" Tay pinches her.
"Uncle!" she whines.
"See, you are not dreaming," Tay says with a laugh.
"Adore, this is Olivia Ferguson, my fiancée, and the author of 'Behind closed doors'." Tay tells Adore.
"She is a beautiful uncle. Wait, why does the book say…?"
"I used Nora's middle name and my mother's maiden last name. I didn't want any attention drawn towards me. I still value my privacy, and I was still young. The attention would have been too much." I tell her, and she nods.
"Can I get an autograph or something like that?" Adore asks and takes the book off from the small table.
"Of course, I just need a pen, or…" Tay cut me off.
"Here." he hands me a black pen. I open the book and sign it. She beams with a smile when she sees what I wrote.
"Don't tell anyone about my real name, though. I want everyone to find out when I want them to," I say, and she nods.
"Can I get one last hug?" Adore asks.
"Come here?" I hug her.
Adore leaves and I sit down in the same chair. "That was beautiful." Tay says and sits next to me.
I wipe my cheekbones and what I said next had me surprised too.
"You know, after what happened, I couldn't sleep for months. Sleeping pills became my routine… my thing. I couldn't sleep without them, let alone be close to guys. I saw them as a threat, and one night I was tired of the pills and got my life back on track. I did one thing that came to mind just to prove to myself that he had no control over my body. I hooked up with a guy one night, but I couldn't even let him touch me, so I left. I told myself that it might be like that because it was the first time after what happened, but who was I kidding?" I let out a laugh as tears fall down my cheeks.
"I then decided to just take out my frustrations at the gym; learning some defense lessons and studying like crazy. One night I took my laptop and just wrote and one thing escalated to another. Now I'm the best-selling author in South Africa yet unknown." I take a deep breath and look at Tay.
"I can't say I'm sorry because I don't know the feeling of being abused, but what I can tell you is that it is okay to cry. It shows that you are human; I'm glad that you finally opened up. The past made you who you are today; best-selling author. Now is the time to let go of the past and live the life you have always wanted. You also said in your book that 'it's up to us to let experiences destroy us or mold us'. You are strong, yet weak. You are afraid to let anyone in, you think they will hurt you somehow, but people are not the same love. Just because one guy did something bad to you doesn't mean the rest of us are the same." Tay holds my hands and sends chills up and down my spine.
"Trauma changes people, but don't let it take over your life," Tay softly says, and wipes my tears with his thumbs
"Thank you."
"Come on, let's get something to eat." He leads me to the eating hall and we get breakfast like everyone.
The rest of the day goes by pretty quickly. I am watching Tay playing with the kids. He is good with kids and they all love him. And now it was time to go home.
We both slide into his car and head home. Within half an hour, Tay drives into the garage and we climb out of the car and head for the door that leads inside.
"Thanks for today," I tell Tay. I feel like I have lifted a burden off my shoulders. I can finally start over without those emotions bottled up.
A man with a little of grey hair is sitting on a couch drinking wine.
"Well, well, well, look who finally showed up?" the man looks familiar, but I'm not sure where I have seen him. He crosses his leg over the other, shakes his glass of wine, and places it under his nose.
"Uncle?" Tay says in a bored and annoyed tone.
"In the flesh." He says and takes a sip of his wine. I get a weird vibe from him, even his tone is disgusting.
"So, this is the soon-to-be Mrs. Payne?" His uncle David asks with disgust in his tone. I can't help but roll my eyes.
"She is beautiful, but don't you think she is too young for you?"
"Well too bad I don't care about your opinions." Tay says, and David chuckles.
"Already in love, I see," David says, and stands up from the couch.
"What do you want, David?" Tay asks.
"Just wanted to meet the soon-to-be Mrs. Payne and…" Tay cuts him off. What am I missing here? Their feud seems to run deeper than I thought.
"Get the fuck out of my house," Tay shouts. His breath has increased; his hands had formed a fist. His knuckles had turned white, and it is taking everything in him to control his temper. David smiles and walks to the front door, throwing his car keys in the air and whistling. Tay grabs the bottle of wine and I grab it from him before he can crash it.
"What the hell!" Tay shouts and gives me a death glare. I have never seen him like this; it is like his uncle brings out the worst in him.
"Give it back?" he warns.
"No," I stand my ground. If he can tell me not to let experiences destroy me, then he needs to do the same.
"For fuck's sake Olivia…" He warns, but I stand up straight. He runs his hand through his hair in frustration. He flips the glass coffee table upside down.
Andrew, Future, and Nate walk in. "What the hell is going on here?" Andrew asks.
"Nothing." Tay booms, and I jump a little.
"Don't fucking say it's nothing. You need to control your anger. Look at Olivia's and Future's faces? You are scaring them!" Andrew says, and his face softens a little when he looks at me.
"You need to get your shit together. This is too much. You need to figure things out, brother. We are going to Future's place; I hope you will have more sense by the time we get back." Nate finishes his speech. Why do I feel that this has to do with his uncle? What's going on with this family? Why so many secrets?
"Sister-in-law?" Nate breaks me from my thoughts.
"Huh?" I ask.
"Let's go. Tay has a lot of thinking to do," Nate says, grabbing my hand. Nate has always been the childish one; it's kind of strange seeing him act all responsible and giving his brother his piece of mind. I turn to find Tay sitting on the couch, tugging the roots of his hair hard.