"It's tried ...."
"What?"
"My soul ... it's tried ...it has no strength anymore ...it's ...it's shattered, fears to step outside ..fears to be a part among the crowd ...the cuts are way too deep to just be ordinary ... its appetites to heal..it longs to feel but it fears. It wants tenderness, love, and care to rebuild but I fail to provide it with that and just let it bleed ."
"Why?"
"Because I'm covered with thorns ."
" Why don't you let your dear ones provide for it then ?"
" I want them to but they deny to do so .. " I titter.
" And those who want to can't enter because I, unknowingly, built the wall around me so high that now I'm trapped and if I try to escape it I just deeper into the dark. As if someone pulls me back into the labyrinth of darkness."
"I .. I am scared to let anyone enter cause I don't want my soul to experience the same thing again ... It'll break if it experiences them the same again ."
He said nothing, just gave that empathetic look that I receive every time.
"Oh, no, don't.. don't pity me. I'm used to this loneliness." I chuckled softly.
"Can you please make me feel something ... just something ... I want to feel how it is human again ..."
"But aren't you .."
"No. I feel more like a zombie. I am more like walking dead. I just want to withstand people who try to move towards me. " I replied instinctively.
"Why?"
"My soul is half dead and what if I get hurt again ?!"
"What if you don't?"
"Then most probably I will hurt them " I smirked.
"Why don't you let it be ?!"
"I tried ...but my past won't let me go ...it keeps following me .. you know like .. like a string attached to me .. to my past, my heart, my Brain ( stressed) ."
"You know sometimes when people are afraid to heal or confused how to heal, they just try to get used to their pain and you are doing the same. Why?"
"Because I'm a coward..maybe " I smirked.
"No. Because you are weak and you try to show everyone around you that how strong you are ."
I could clearly see the frustration in his eyes, the desperation of getting out of the room.
He shut me up at once and I astonished yet calm expression was there on my which I tried so hard putting up cause that's what always do run or ignore when someone looks through me.
He calmed down himself.
He asked me " how do you feel right now ?"
" I don't know .. maybe nothing ..maybe something .." I replied in a confused manner.
He looked straight into my eyes and I got it at once that this time there is no escape.
It's two people who are desperately trying to force each other through this - an intern who is anxious to get his approval and a depressive manic, which obviously is me duh, trying to push and run away from another therapist.
I hope you like it and support it.
Thanks for reading ☺️