Turn the rudder! Right! Quickly! Turn the steering wheel!
In the dark, we could not calculate the angle to steer and there was no time to think about the details. All we knew was to turn the wheel to the right side, which was the direction to get away from the freighter. It was the least we could do to hope to not be crashed by the "monster" head on.
Now the freighter was almost in arm's reach. I could see the people walking inside the bridge, but how could they see us frightened in the cockpit of a small sailboat! I wanted to scream and shout at them to stop, but how could they possibly hear me?!
Ithaca was equipped with an AIS Transceiver system, which means two-way transmission. Not only do we receive the signal sent by other vessels, but we also send out our position. The people who were on duty on the freighter certainly did not check the AIS system, or simply ignored the collision warning from their AIS system.
12.7 degrees Celsius - this is the water temperature I recorded in our sail log an hour ago, I remembered it clearly. So cold! What chance do we have to survive? Once our boat is destroyed in a crash, the water would burst into the cabin instantly. The only thing that could save our lives was the life raft on the deck at the back of the boat. I tried to recall the release and launching procedure of the life raft, the fastened automatic release sensors, the painter (a line attached to life raft) and the knife to cut the rope. . . The thought of jumping into the cold water made my body tremble unconsciously. The time was no longer allowing me to grab our life jackets stored in the closet inside the boat.
We were holding our children closely, standing by the steering wheel and facing the imminent disaster. Thinking of our children, do we regret taking them to sail with us to see the world outside? Maybe not. But it is extremely regretful to end our dream and our lives just like this.
Looking through the window again, there were no more ship lights to be seen on our port side, but only a wall, so high and dark, which I couldn't see the edge of, growling with the sound of its motor, like an endless black hole, opening its mouth and getting ready to devour us.
I was numb and my mind went blank. The scene passing in front of my eyes was like watching a movie in the slow motion. Our boom is moving slowly in the background of the freighter's dark wall. Each inch the end of the boom is moving forward, which is about to scratch the black wall. I am staring at it, but my mind is unbelievably calm. All this is like nothing to do with me. I never thought I would be at peace completely in the face of death.
At long last, I did not hear the noise that would terrify me to death but instead I felt a tremendous force pushing on Ithaca, then mountain-like waves rushed inescapably to the boat. With a moment of violent shaking, a massive amount of salty water burst through all the little gaps and holes of the cockpit cover and poured down on us, wetting half of the cockpit, and awakening the numb me.
One second, two seconds, three seconds. . . and ten seconds. . . We are waiting for the moment of our fate.
Then, the freighter passed "unconsciously" next to us. It went away as if nothing had happened, but we had walked back and forth through the line between life and death.
"Did we not hit the freighter?" "Are we still alive?" Pierre and I questioned in disbelief.
The freighter gradually moved away, and Pierre was finally relieved. Feeling like a rebirth, I was in an overwrought state, and meanwhile, I blamed myself for my negligence. For the rest of the voyage, I was no longer feeling tired, and spent a restless night pondering the accident until the next morning.
Why Ithaca was not caught in the waves of the freighter, nor was it crashed, has always been an insoluble mystery. That freighter is a 300-meter-long giant cargo ship; Ithaca is only 14 meters in comparison. It is twenty times bigger. How lucky we are!
We needed to know what was wrong with the engine. Pierre checked the starter of the engine again and could not find any problem. He then removed the fuse of the starter. The fuse was also normal. Put it back in and try again. To our great surprise, the engine returned to normal. What on earth is going on here?
Later, we talked about this accident with other sailing friends a few times. The pronoun of the boat in English is "she". In the age of sailing in the last few hundred years, sailors believe that a boat is a living being. As the carrier of sailors' destiny and dreams, sailors even think that a boat has a soul.
The reason for the problem with the engine starter was unknown. An old sailor pointed out: "Perhaps Ithaca, who has been a boat for more than 30 years, dominated her own fate at that moment." Who could guarantee that after the engine started, in that critical moment, it wouldn't speed up and hit the freighter?
All these conjectures – we have no way of knowing. There are too many uncertain things in the oceans and in boats. You can only listen to your heart and get everything prepared as much as possible. As for the outcome, it is decided by fate.
This experience had also taught me lessons about the responsibility of the boat watch. Every little thing on a boat should be treated with great care. Later, whenever we encounter a ship on our way, we will call them in VHF channel 16 early enough for their attention so they can avoid us if necessary.
Also, we had made a mistake on this trip. The position's update from AIS system is delayed. When navigating at night, it is difficult to judge the boat distance with the navigation lights. Instead, we should turn on the radar for night sailing and let the radar's scan overlay with the chart plotter. The position on the radar is more accurate and shows the current position of the ship.
I also regretted that I didn't record the details of this irresponsible ship and could not inform the relevant authorities. In the following voyages, all the ships that we met at sea were written into our sail logs.
With this article, I hope that everyone on duty at sea, whether is on sailing boats, fishing boats or cargo ships, must stay vigilant to protect themselves and others. The big ships should also especially look out the small boats. Your once inadvertent lookout might save a great life trapped at sea.