// I don't want to leave. //
"What?" Toshiro looked over at Zhou, still cleaning up the eggs. "Leave what?"
"Leave here."
"Who said anything about leaving here?"
"I did," Zhou said. "Multiple times, actually," he added wryly, but his voice was sad.
"Yes, and each time I told you you didn't need to. Why are we here again?"
"The reasons justifying me staying have run out. I'm healed now. I don't need to stay here. I shouldn't stay here; I can't keep living on your charity."
"But it's really no problem. Besides, if you go back to the park, it's deeper into winter now; the storms will be getting worse. You might catch cold and get sick again. It's not safe."
"I don't want to be a burden on you, though. I've already been here for so long."
"Zhou. Look at me." Toshiro waited for the child to comply before he went on. "You're not a burden. I enjoy your company; it's desperately lonely with no one to talk to. That's already a great deal, but you also help out around the house. You make my life easier and more enjoyable."
Zhou's eyes scurried down again, and he fiddled with the paper towels he still had in hand. "But... there must be some other reason."
"There doesn't need to be another reason. Zhou, why don't you trust me?" Rather than accusatory, the words coming from Toshiro seemed sadly earnest.
Trust.
"I—" Zhou hesitated. Biding his time, he ripped off a small shred from the paper towel. Once he started again, he continued to carefully tear it into pieces as he spoke, easier to focus on the paper between his fingers. "I grew up in an orphanage. It— wasn't fun."
Toshiro wasn't sure how to react. He figured it'd be something like this, to account for the fact that Zhou was by himself in the park, but now, actually hearing Zhou's story...
Zhou shuddered and took a deep breath before beginning again. "A year or so ago, I left. Made an excuse to stay back after school, and didn't go back. I walked for days with little rest, just to get far away enough."
"Somehow, I ended up at an airport. Away was all I focused on then, so I snuck in. People don't often think much of a kid. I got into a suitcase, stowed away on the plane. And then I was in America."
"I was on my own for a few days, like I had been before. Then a couple living in the neighborhood noticed me. They asked about me, saying they would help." He shuddered, then balled the shreds of paper into a fist.
"I believed them and told them what happened. They took me in for a few days, and I was so glad to have a place to sleep and food to eat. But I didn't know that they'd called the government. Within a little bit, I was back in another orphanage."
Zhou shut his eyes, seeing the cruelly kind smiles of the couple. It'll be good for you. Of the terror he'd faced the first night, the first week, the first month, being back at an orphanage. It hadn't dulled, even with time.
"It wasn't awful. But it reminded me too much of— what had happened before. I hated it there, maybe worse than before."
"Zhou..." Toshiro winced for him.
"I would rather have been on my own having to seek shelter and food. With no restrictions, no rules, no punishments. I stayed there for a few months, but I couldn't stand it. I tried to run away again, but they found me and brought me back, and I was reprimanded."
The orphanage staff had always known him as a morose child, but he supposed that the days after his interrupted escape, he'd been more silent and downcast enough for them to think him sick. In any case, it got him into the infirmary, which honestly did little to nurse its wards other than forcing them to stay in bed.
There weren't any other occupants that night, so he was alone in the room, the moon casting a cold glow through the window that had been forgotten to be closed. He remembered wondering if it would be wise to chance another escape so soon after the first one. He remembered how inviting the open window had been, and that he hated it so much here.
He remembered deciding to take the chance.