It's been about 2 weeks since Dimitri and I's break-up, and in all honesty, it hasn't gotten any easier. I've seen him around campus and in class, of course, but I haven't talked with him since then and it's killing me. I miss everything about him, especially his accent. It's been so long since I've heard that special roll on every word.
When my Dad called and asked me about dinner, I had to tell him that we weren't together anymore. My Dad had demanded to know what had happened and if he needed to kill him, but I got him to shut up and let it go. My Dad knows when not to push me. And now was definitely not the time. I've been occupying myself with work and visiting Emily, trying to keep myself distracted so I won't have to think about him. But it hasn't really worked. I get 4 hours of sleep every night, so I'm barely functioning throughout the day, and then I cry when I get back at my lonely dorm. But times heals everything, right?
I sigh and crawl into bed. It's only 9 PM, but I have an early class tomorrow and it takes a while for me to fall asleep.
*****
I shoot up in my bed when I hear my phone ring. Who the hell is calling me at 3 AM? I've finally managed to fall asleep a little early.
"Hello?" I ask with a groggy voice.
"Hi, is this Ruby Derman?" A formal, unfamiliar voice asks me.
"Yes, this is she," I say, suddenly worried.
"Okay… There's no easy way to say this, but your dad has had a heart attack. We've stabilized him, but we're not quite sure if his brain has been damaged yet. We will take some tests, first thing, tomorrow morning. Now I-"
"Where?" I cut her off. My mind is foggy and I can't focus. This- this can't be happening. Not my Dad.
"I'm sorry?"
"Where is he? Which hospital is he admitted to?" I ask her harshly.
"Oh, Lake District Hospital."
"Thank you," I say and hang up.
I rush out of bed and grab a few things and some clothes. While I'm packing, I realize I need to book a flight ticket immediately. I quickly open my computer and find the website.
Shit, shit, shit! This couldn't get any worse. By now I'm in tears and I have no idea what to do. I throw my computer across the room and get up. No flights are leaving until Wednesday. I can't wait 2 whole days. I need to drive there, but I can't because I don't have a fucking car!
What the hell do I do?
I push my pride aside and head out of the door with my bag in hand. I walk fast, so I'm already standing outside his door 3 minutes later. Tears are still streaming down my face and I'm on the edge of a total breakdown. I knock twice, silently waiting for what to come. I do realize that I look like shit, but I really can't care less right now. I wait for about a minute before knocking again, this time a lot harder. Still, no answer comes and I'm getting desperate. I begin to pound uncontrollably on his door. As I'm about to scream his name out, the door swings open. I'm standing face to face with a bewildered-looking Dimitri.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He asks me harshly, but quickly soften as he takes in my appearance.
"I- my fathe- I," I start, but can't finish any of the sentences as I break down. I'm now fully sobbing as I slide down the wall outside his apartment.
Dimitri sits down beside me and pulls me into his side. It's been so long since I last talked to him, touched him. I miss him.
As I slowly calm down, he asks, "Did somebody hurt you?" His voice is steady and calm, but I know well enough he isn't if he thinks something happened to me. Deep down, I hope this means that he still cares for me, but it still won't change anything. He won't change.
"No. I- I got a call from the hospital. My- my dad had a heart attack. They don't know if his brain is damaged or not. I really need to get to him, but there are no flights leaving for two days. I can't get Emily to help me 'cause you know, and I don't know anyone else. I- can you drive me home, please?" I ramble.
When he's silent for about a minute, I look up at him and stare right into those black eyes, that I've come to love.
"Dimitri, I need you," I tell him, never breaking eye contact.
He gets up from the floor and walks back into his apartment, closing the door behind him. Tears slowly begin to fall down my cheeks again. I don't even bother to get up from the floor. I don't know what to do know. I actually thought I could count o-
I don't get to finish my thought, because out of the apartment comes Dimitri, a bag full of clothes in his right hand and the car keys in the other.
"Let's go," he tells me.
I quickly get up from the floor and wipe my eyes. I grab his hand in mine and we walk outside.
"Thank you," I whisper when we get settled inside the car.
*****
We've been driving for about an hour and I've finally managed to calm myself down. Or as calm as I can be in this situation. My mind is fogged and swirling with desperate, horrible thoughts. I can't lose my dad - I just can't.
"Why is it that bad things always happen to good people?" I ask Dimitri.
He sighs out loud, almost as if he's thinking back on something. I don't really expect an answer, so I'm surprised when he answers, "Because God knows they can handle it."
"You believe in God?" I ask him even more surprised.
"No… But my sister did."
He has a sister? Is he actually opening up to me?
"You have a sister?" I ask him, trying to get him to open up even more.
"Had a sister."
"Oh… I'm sorry, Dimitri," I tell him.
"It is not like it is your fault," he says.
"No, about everything. I- I shouldn't have pushed you to talk. Not before, not now."
"But that is the only thing that can make this relationship work, right?" He asks me.
I nod.
"Okay, then I will talk. Not now. When everything is fine with your dad and we get home. I will tell you everything you want."
I snap my head around to look at him. Am I asleep or something? This can't be real.
When I don't say anything, he says, "Look, these couple of weeks has been hell. I miss you, Ruby. I know I am a selfish idiot and I really do not deserve you, but I cannot let you go. Not this time. That is why I have decided to tell you everything, alright. I am doing this. I need to do this - not for me or you, but for us."
"What changed your mind?" I ask him hesitantly. He can't just change his mind like that, can he? Just out of the blue?
"I realized, that I am in love with you."
I don't answer him. Instead, a huge grin fills my face, and it's the first real in what feels like forever. I take his hand in mine and kiss it, before intertwining them. He gives me a small smile and we go back to silence. Even though the circumstances aren't the best, I can't help but have a little faith. My Dad is gonna get through this, of course, he is. And afterward, I'm gonna make sure he's eating healthy and getting his daily exercise. I gotta figure out how I can take care of him, while I'm a 7-hour drive away. And after that, I'm going to work on my relationship with Dimitri. The guy I've come to fall in love with so much.
This will be good.