28
instinct
"How are you holding up?" I twirled the phone wire around my finger, staring out the window in my library.
"Why do you ask, do I sound like I'm miserable here in Mexico?" The teasing clear in his voice as he chuckles at my unseen semi-distraught face.
"No, I just figured you might be stressed. But, it seems you aren't... which is good! Which is good, I mean. You're probably surrounded by beautiful girls in Mexico." I wasn't jealous, I didn't doubt his fidelity as a lover. The words just came straight out of my mouth like vomit.
The vintage golden phone I held was once my grandfather's. Damocles had kept it in his house and decided to give it to me as he found it of no use to him. The click of his tongue audible as well as the hushed voices of whoever he was with, he whispered to me his sweet little lies on how I'm the only girl for him.
"Elixir, you know you're the only one I have an eye for." His sultry voice, "Now tell me about your day,"
To be quite frank with you, I truly had little to nothing to say abput my day. I washed up, got dressed, read a book or two and danced in the halls like a maniac with my chiffon dress on, no shoe clad feet. The maids looked delighted to see me enjoy myself. That's all I told Stavros before asking him about his day.
"I'm doing well, little Hasi." He sighed through the phone, "The Mexican's are harder to persuade than I thought, Raúl De Garza's being a pain. He won't trust me... fully, to say the least."
My shoulders dropped, I rushed to the couch under the window. Situating myself as I listen about his day. "You're rather stressed, have you ate already?"
"I should be asking you that, it's past lunchtime. Damocles had called me earlier, he said something about a little bunny refusing to eat. Why is that?"
"Good thing there's no bunny here, then." I avoid his question.
Silently cursing Damocles in my mind. Of course, what did I expect. Those two were like a couple, oftentimes their bromance made me feel like the outsider intruding in their little relationship. Gossipers. Those two's gossips traveled faster than the news reporter on TV. I refused to eat because of a novel I've been reading recently. I leaned my head on the window sill, staring at the greenery before me.
"I didn't exactly refuse, I was reading a book." My chin held high as I said that. "The Cruel Prince, a wonderful novel. It's quite hooking, to be honest. You should try reading it."
"You know I don't read,"
"I know, I'm just saying... if you might one day find yourself in need of something to do in midst of boredom, you are more than welcomed to stop by the manor and grab yourself a book in my library."
Ever since his flight to Mexico, he's never spent a day without phoning me. Our communication was great, to be fair. He never made me feel as though he left, which was nice. I felt good, as we talked. We talked about... random things. My mind in a haze as he went on with why I should never skip a meal and how many children are starving. To be completely honest with you, Stavros could be my dad. He's scolded me more than my own father ever did. Though, I'm not complaining. His reasons were valid and not just for the heck of it. Once our call ended, I plant my back down on the bed. With eyes fluttered shut, I think about all else that's not been said today. Stavros' proposal, it had been on my mind for decades. Alright, scratch that, maybe a few weeks now or so. I knew I had to rephrase my answer once he asks me again, which I'm such he will. He's said it before, not quite to me but he said it.
Whilst I was in deep slumber, however. His long fingers gently stroking my scattered mane. My head rested on his lap and soft music played through my phone speaker. Somehow even in my unfathomed sleep, I managed to pick up his words.
"I hope you say yes, one day. Not now, but I do hope soon... To refute my wariness, and to prove them wrong. I hope I am..." his words drown me like ocean water, I could no longer hear him and I'm suddenly jolted into reality.
Palpability being my arcadian room; me in my silk pajama set and Anarchy, who snored next to me. My hand raised to pet the sleeping dog. Wrapping my arms around myself as I stood from the comfort of my warm bed. My feet kissed the cold ground, I made my way to the window. The moon still up, as well as the sun who's soon to take its place and outshine the night lit to turn into a scorching day. My mind wandered around one thing: Stavros Koenig. As it always does, but tonight it's different.
Whereas the usual sappy and all raindows with butterflies, I was stressed into thinking of what to do. What to say and how I felt. If I really wanted this, wanted him, marriage; for the bettering of our families. I didn't know what to do, yet. My eyes caught my own through the reflection in the mirror.
Stavros, would most definitely be the ideal man every woman would want in terms of looks, wealth and gestures. And like all men with all three, I'm afraid of this being a case of charity for him or being nothing short of infatuation that he deems as love. Maybe he's never felt that; heck, so have I! That's why I was so reluctant. It's too quick paced... But, the irrational part of me wished to give it a try. That just maybe, it won't be as bad. Washing my hands down my face, I sighed. Reminiscing on the simpler times where I would write poems for him... silly, I know. I'm nor naive and sozzled of the women who fancy him, they were quite a lot in high school.
Never had there been a day that's passed that he hasn't had one of them wrapped around his arm. Him and his stupid, arrogant smirk... even so, I loved it about him. The letter crumpled in my trembling hands, overthinking vigorously in why this would be an execrable idea. Why did I even think of writing these in the first place?
"Hey," it was him!