"Your majesty?" Alicia whispered, touching my shoulder. My eyes fluttered open to find her face close to mine. Her green eyes were bright with concern. I must have dozed off while reading my papers, I thought looking around.
The windows in the office had gone dark and the only light in the room was coming from the fireplace and a few candles that had been light before I had sent Alicia away the first time.
"Are you alright?" She asked, setting the tray of dinner she had been holding down in front of me. The new cook must have been eager to show me her skills as tonight my plate was loaded with some of my favorites. Juicy lobster, mashed potatoes smothered in butter garlic sauce and a large salad, with fresh vegetables, pulled from the castle garden.
"I'm alright, I must have fallen asleep after that last meeting," I said stretching. My body felt stiff from sleeping upright in my desk chair. As comfortable as my office was, sleeping in here was not as nice.
"It's been a very busy day, miss, would you like tea or water with your dinner?" Alicia asked, moving my dinner tray to the sitting table next to the stone fireplace.
"Water, please," I said as I shuffled some of the papers around on my desk. She wasn't kidding.
Today had been filled with advisors demanding that I move the troops we had in Westgreen to the north border to ensure that the Northaven army could not advance to Willow Creek. However, I reminded them that Willow Creek was strong and didn't need assistance at this time.
"Westgreen is one of our smallest Kingdoms, left defenseless, the Northaven army will take it in seconds. Duke Erik is still having his men trained and I have promised to give him as much time as he needs to have them ready before removing the extra support. Which reminds me, Sir Nathaniel can you please send a messenger to Westgreen to see how this training is coming along, it has been a couple of weeks since our last update with them." I said looking at all the advisors. Nathaniel gave me a simple nod and got up from his seat.
"Your majesty, we don't have the time to waste waiting for his men to be trained. Victor's army has moved south and will arrive any day to Willow's Creek. What happens if Duchess Laura has underestimated her need for men" Sir Gregory asked. I looked around at the other advisors, who all seemed to be in agreement.
"I have faith in her ability, and you should too. We all know what Duchess Laura is known for so I think with all her combat experience she should not be questioned." I said with finality.
"Clara?" Alicia called out, snapping me once again back to reality. I shook my head clearing my thoughts. No one normally called me by my first name unless they were family, which in Alicia's case was okay.
"Uhh, sorry Alicia. I'm sorry" I say walking to the table. "I just don't understand that every time we discuss Duchess Laura, they all seem to feel she is not prepared enough." I continue taking a seat.
"My lady, if I can offer my opinion, I believe it is because she is a woman. Even though she has fought many wars and hasn't lost one, everyone thinks that her feelings will get in the way. Which to be honest is probably the reason she has won so many. She loves her people and fights to keep them safe." Alicia says handing me a crisp white napkin.
"I know what you mean, I think I should replace Sir Gregory with her, but I know she would never leave her kingdom to come here. It's like you said, she loves her people." I sighed.
Digging into my food I watched as Alicia cleaned up the room, dusting the shelves and some of the pictures I had added. This office had only been mine for a month now and I was still scared to change anything about it. My father had great taste in decor and part of me wanted to keep it the same in his honor.
The plush burgundy carpet reminded me of the days I would hide under his large red oak desk. The matching bookshelves held tons of books he would read to my older brother Levi and I. Books about wars and family history were just a few of the many lining the walls. The large rectangular table where the advisors would meet with my father stayed firmly next to the windows as my father would love to peak out and watch the rains come and go.
Tears brimming my eyes as I thought about my family. I had only been Queen for a month and this was only due to the raid on the castle. This raid came in the middle night while the palace slept. The Northaven soldiers came in like smoke, killing anyone they came into contact with. It was only after the sun had risen that we were pulled from our hiding places and I learned the fate of my family.
My father, mother, and older brother Levi were gone leaving just me. I was taken to my father's office and made aware of the situation I was now in. With my parents and Levi gone, I was air to the throne.
At the age of seventeen, I was replacing my father, something I never thought would happen to me. It was always Levi who would take the throne once my father stepped down. I was to be married to Duke Arron's son Victor. The same Victor who now led the Northaven army to attack Willow Creek.
Victor had ascended his throne when his father mysteriously died less than two months ago. My father wasn't fooled by this mysterious death, he said he knew Victor had killed his father and quickly withdrew our engagement saying he would never let him have me. I was so relieved but that relief was soon demonized when the raid happened. Many advisors believed that this attack was due to the engagement being broken off. Sir Gregory had told me that he warned my father of this possibility but claimed that my father would not reconsider.
So after my coronation, my first act as queen was to sign a declaration of war against Northaven for their crimes against the crown. This declaration was met with an attack on the kingdom of Tully which was the closest kingdom to Northaven. It was rumored that Victor had all the citizens of Tully beheaded and was now using the kingdom as his army's headquarters.
"It's alright my lady," Alicia said coming over to hug me. This wasn't the first time I had broken down out of nowhere. The stress of being the queen and the loss of my family had been weighing on me.
While my mother and father had insisted on me learning politics it wasn't as enforced as it had been for Levi, so I was learning as I went, knowing only so much.
"Sorry, I'm such a mess today. Can you please go run me a bath, I think I need to go to bed" I said pushing my food around my plate. She nodded, placing a cup of water in front of me, then left quietly.
As I ate, I thought about Alicia who had been my maid for a couple of years now and had watched me ascend the throne, giving me as much support as I needed.
Alicia was only two years older than me but had more life experience than I could ever dream of having. She came from South Livgard, which was rumored to be one of the harshest kingdoms. My father said there was a lot of slavery and sex trafficking and no matter how many times my father attempted to abolish it, the slave owners would continue.
The first time I met Alicia she was skinny and on the brink of starvation. You could tell the palace had tried to clean her up but her green eyes were lifeless and short blond hair chopped extremely short. It took a couple of months but as she was given proper meals and bathed daily she began to come out of her shell. She quickly became my friend and close confidant.
After my lessons, I tended to drift back to my room just to talk with her. She told me about her travels and how she had been separated from her family at the age of thirteen to be sold to a rich family whose daughter would gang up on her and hit her. She even told me that the daughter had one time wanted to play dress up and ended up chopping off all her hair, hence the short uneven layers.
It wasn't until my father's army first attempted to end the slavery that she was found. She was then taken to a relocation facility that helped her find a job at the palace.
Through her story, I gained a new respect for her and devoted most of my lesson time to coming up with a foundation to assist those who were coming into the relocation facilities to find their families. While we were still in search of Alicia's family our program had already helped so many others. It was a project that my mother and father had been very proud of.
"No, stop Clara," I said aloud to myself, I had done enough crying today, I needed to focus on the task at hand.
After finishing about half of my dinner I wandered back to my room, gratefully for Alicia as I opened the bathroom door.
She had just finished throwing some lavender and rose petals into the large steaming bath when I walked in.
"Thank you, Alicia," I said smiling at her. She smiled back at me and started to undo the corset of my dress. As I stepped into the bath my worries and fears slipped away with the raising of the water over my body.
"I think tomorrow you should sleep in just a little, you're starting to get dark circles," Alicia said grabbing a sponge and dipping into the water and handing it to me.
I laughed a little knowing very well she was right, " I think you're right, do you think you can have Sydney rearrange my morning?" I asked, scrubbing my shoulders.
"Of course, I'll go speak with her now. Just call for me when you are ready to get out" She says standing. Give me a quick curtsy she leaves.
Once she was gone, I sat back and slid my head under the water. Being under the water was bliss. Quiet, dark, peaceful. It wasn't until my lungs were burning that I lifted my head above the water. Gasping for air, I let myself cry one last time.