Chereads / So What if I Failed as a Hero? / Chapter 18 - A house filled with men is full of crap

Chapter 18 - A house filled with men is full of crap

I won't detail how they carried the duck and the kid like sacks of potato inside the house, nor will I detail how the passed out teenager was hauled in like a dead person.

If you guys saw it, you'd wanna punch them. His head smashed up and down the tile flooring!

Well, here they are, inside the house. The old man is sitting as if he owns the place while chewing gum. The brothers are whipping up some of their patented delicious grub. The nameless prick is watching TV, and is hollering at the opposing football team to screw off. There are two dead youngsters, and a dead goose close to the door in weird positions.

"Stop your loud mouth! What are you even doing here anyway?" The old man can't hide his dissatisfaction about the guy hogging the television. "You're not supposed to be in cities! You should know that you're a walking calamity!"

"I need money…" This is something he can't deny. He's been here a while and yet, he's still having immense trouble generating income. "And besides, I like cities, I have a lot to do with this many people around!"

Remus slammed the table in front of him, earning some curious glances at their direction from the brothers cooking. The guy in front of the tv just shrugged, and put popcorn into his mouth that he got from who knows where.

"You're still abusing that ring, I see…" Old Remus stroked his chin in disgust, before casually flicking a piece of stone in his direction.

Thing is, he didn't dodge. What would a piece of goddamn stone do to him anyway?

But the world (author) has other plans.

Slam!

The sound of glass breaking reverberated throughout the house. Shards of the television set sprayed in all directions. The sound alone woke two of three idiots passed out on the floor. You have to guess which, for the time being.

"Hey! You're less than ten minutes inside, and you've already laid waste to the television!" John screamed in a frenzy, while aiming his knife at the direction of the two.

"Can't be helped, John. This bastard is annoying me." Remus spoke as if he has the moral high ground.

"Pops, if I annoy you, will you slam me on the television too?" Heh, the kid who just woke up has to join the fray, of course. He won't miss an opportunity to cuss out his gramps.

"Why am I hearing boss music?" Meanwhile, the delusional system freak still wasn't on his senses. "Shit! Where am I?"

John threw his knife with speed at the direction of the old man. Damn… he's angry.

Juan meanwhile, continued cooking until he saw his brother throw a knife. He disappeared in the same instant he saw the knife being thrown, then reappeared at the just behind the old man before grabbing the knife out of the air from the handle.

The kid had sneezed multiple times, spraying icky particles, and wet mucus all over the living room. How'd he do it? He's jumping while sneezing.

What a bastard.

Rick was somehow cowering at the corner, using the still unconscious goose as a meat shield.

What a useless meat shield.

The guy embedded into the television farted at the worst possible moment. All the mucus, glass fragments, duck feathers, popcorn, and half-cooked food sprayed around made the stomach gas even deadlier— to a point where the meat shield goose woke up and started whacking Rick's head!

It's a fucking fiesta!

I don't even know what else they're actually doing anymore, but fights have broken out in the living room!

A goose was fighting a teenager!

An old man staving off long-range attacks from the fatty!

The embedded man was being covered with so much mucus by the kid, he seemed to have come out of a runny nose!

The brother helping the old man stave off the fatty brother's attacks while covering his nose!

Why am I detailing this? Can't we have a proper, not annoying chapter?

Seems like we can't!

Everything was so chaotic.

The scene continued for more than an hour, until five of the seven Superhumans clearly have slowed down.

The old man hadn't slowed down. He's an expert of the highest level.

The guy still engrossed in being embedded at the television also hadn't tired yet.

How could he be tired? He hadn't done anything!

It was at this moment, our MC turned around and punched the TV set in his head, and tapped both of the arms of the kid smugly smiling behind him in one motion.

The preoccupied old man hadn't noticed anything until two light jabs were delivered to his elbows, and the back of his head.

Within the next few seconds a series of light jabs or taps could be heard in the house.

What are you doing? Are you killing them all?

"Well, you assholes can't use your powers now, can you?" As if he did something heroic, the main character of this half-assed novel, asked.

The six were passed out. Well… technically, all six of them aren't passed out, they are just immobilized.

He carried the six into the three-sided sofa and threw them all in there without any regard to their safety. Every single one of them is cursing him in their minds.

What he's gonna do next, is anyone's guess.

My guess is that he's gonna steal some more food.

Three hours later, he swaggered in front of the table, this time he's munching on some cookies. My guess was right!

"I know you're up, old man. No way I can immobilize you for that long." He said with a stern voice.

"Of course you can't. You're not even that serious. Can't I take a little siesta?" Remus sprung into a better sitting position. "Seems like the younger brother is awake too. I can sense his breathing."

Juan sighed, because he knows he can't hide anything from these two monsters. So he acted as if he just regained consciousness, with little to no effect.

"So, the situation at hand is, you brought your grandson, a goose from some random place, and an ordinary vagrant teenager here. Knowing how shameless you are, old man, you'll be brute forcing your way over these two brothers to allow you to live here. They say the older, the wiser. But for you, you're already this shameless decades ago!"

The MC who's also shameless enough to brute force his way into living here rolled his eyes at the old man as if he's someone better. This gave Juan the sudden urge to kick this bastard out of his house.

The old man sitting smug didn't even give a response. Four small pieces of rocks were hovering over his calloused right hand. Juan frowned, as he knows what his brother's ex-boss is about to do. Our MC just opened the window and pressed a certain button from the remote control on his hand.

Three people and a goose squealed in miserable pain.

Juan went outside and realized the sun's about to go down, just as the transparent dome protecting the house started setting to the west.

"About time you four asshats woke up! It's time for the seven of us to talk!"

The house then smelled like six different scents.