Chereads / So What if I Failed as a Hero? / Chapter 13 - Milk, lollipop, gum, seed, and banana

Chapter 13 - Milk, lollipop, gum, seed, and banana

John and Juan were surprised that their friend's poison flare-up had him unconscious for this long.

It's actually just an hour… what are these two getting so surprised about?

Seeing that it had been that long, they started cleaning up the mass of black blood surrounding him. They also removed the decayed parts of his clothes that seemed to have rotten because of the ejected blood.

Then they just threw him into a tub of hot water, like they always do, and let him drown there until he woke up.

John smiled, and wiped his forehead filled with sweat. Juan smiled, and gave his brother a pat on the back for a job well done.

I'm missing something. They threw him to drown in a tub! How is that a job well done? Are you idiots murderers?

Even if there's no way that unconscious man's gonna die in there, can't you at least not drown him?

"Oh well, time to cook breakfast. What d'ya want bro?" Juan walked out of the bathroom and went straight to the fridge.

John's eyes were bloodshot. He remembered that this drowning unconscious bastard had just raided their fridge of leftovers. He didn't answer his brother's question, and just let him get the bad news himself.

It didn't take long for John to hear a scream a few meters away. He smiled, as if he's some victorious general, as he scrambled out of the bathroom and into the dining room.

You actually stayed in the bathroom? A man is drowning there and you still stayed with a damn straight face? I'm out.

"Wh- what's with the screaming?" He acted like he doesn't know jack shit about what made his brother scream.

Give this man a medal!

"My milk!" Juan is teary-eyed. He won't forgive anyone who drinks his milk.

John froze. He can't believe this dummy is his brother. He didn't even realize that he's supposed to be looking to make breakfast.

But he can't hold it against him, because he knows how much Juan loves milk.

The refrigerator light shone upon these two rock dumb people.

The younger brother's head went fuzzy, his eyes wet, and his arms trembling. All because of the void filled by his lost milk. He looked around, realizing that there's a huge one liter carton of milk on their personal computer in the living room…

Bang!

The younger man burst into tears, as he's now sure what had transpired. His milk was drunk by the man drowning on hot water in the tub.

Okay this is getting absurd now! There's still someone drowning in the tub!

John shook his head, while consoling his bawling brother. The two looked over as the wind toppled over the carton of milk all over the keyboard.

Juan bawled even more in disappointment. John let out a dismayed sigh.

"I thought fate would leave me at least a little…" Juan started while tears were falling. "But fate is fickle indeed…"

Juan tried to stand while his legs were shivering, and his brother supported him up. The siblings walked up to the smashed computer.

A few moments later, John raised the toppled milk carton and put it close to his mouth.

More teardrops came out of his eyes than milk drops.

"Bro… can I switch with that drowning bastard?" Juan's question didn't even incite the slightest emotion within John. It's just that, this annoying scenario always happens when he can't drink his milk…

Turning away from his brother, he said. "Yeah. Go join him in the tub. Suit yourself."

Juan went straight to the bathroom while dragging his feet. The man in the tub laid below underwater peacefully, like a dead man.

It was ethereal.

Should I send you to another world with a truck?

John grabbed a baseball bat and licked his lips like a murderer about to smack his victim. He then slithered his way to the bathroom, oozing with malicious intent.

Juan is beside the tub murmuring bullshit while staring at the submerged man with a blank look.

The elder brother stood at the door of the comfort room while holding the bat over his shoulder.

Seconds ago it was a drama scene.

So why did it become some sort of a thriller murder scene?

Why am I also hearing boss music all of a sudden?

With an exaggerated motion, the brother-assailant raised his bat high. The languidly crying brother having no discernible reaction to whatever's happening at the door.

He doesn't even care about the guy inches beside him that's basically dead.

The suddenly evil elder brother swung the wooden bat down at his brother's head.

The sound of a broken bat reverberated throughout the house.

The younger brother fell sideways to the tiled floor with a crash, even hitting his head to the tub. The older brother didn't even put away the murder weapon when he closed the door of the bathroom.

The sound of a can being opened was the only thing heard thereafter.

"When will he learn that I always hide some milk in cans too." He chugged a five hundred milliliter can of fresh milk down in one gulp. "His reactions about losing milk always make my day."

All while the still unconscious MC laid there, along with the bloody John.... what the hell is this ridiculous shit...

***

"Gramps, are you sure we're really going to a friend of yours this time?" Romulus said in between his lollipop sucking.

"Course I do, brat." Remus said in between his gum chewing.

"Damn… where are you two assholes even going?" The grumpy duck said in between its seed munching.

Why are you even following these two? Ya wanna be a mascot huh? The gorilla author said in between banana bites.

The giant old man, the snotty brat, and the annoying wild goose appeared at the front of a two-story house. The house had a spacious lawn of Bermuda grass and Sunflowers by the fences. It looked like it's owned by a pretty well-off family.

"Wow, gramps. You really are a big shot. This place is awesome!" Of course this is enough to gain Romulus' attention, as he is a boy who's lived in places no one could ever imagine.

"I don't even know those idiots had the capacity to have a place as cozy as this one." Remus is trying his best to hide his envy.

'I've been a boss and yet the best that that job gave me was a penthouse. I want a goddamn yard!'

You missed the point muscle brain.

You had a damn penthouse! That's like for the big shots!

The sighing old man was about to press the doorbell of the gate, when they heard a splash.

"Who goes there?" A familiar figure opened the door and looked first at the small water fountain where the goose is wading without a care in the world. "What the? How did a goose appear here?"

"Oy! Don't mind that dumbass goose, look at us!" Well the one that spoke wasn't the old man, but the brat below him.

The man that opened the door sports a buzz cut, and his beer belly close to popping out of his one size too small shirt.

Why did it take me this long to describe what John looked like? Heh. I forgot I'm sorry.

"Huh? Who the fuck are you?" John shouted.

"You don't know me? How dare you!" If you think the ex-boss of an infamous organization is the one that spoke, you need to have a wider view of life.

"I am… R-O-M- uhh… gramps, what comes next after that?" This idiot can't even spell his name and yet had the guts to spell it out loud.

"Don't spell if you can't, you dummy." Remus allowed his grandson to spectacularly fail without even comforting him. "John Dough, I'll kill you if you can't remember me."

John shivered, he knows that this man would kill him instantly if he said the wrong words. "Boss… I'm just fooling around… hehe there's no way I can't remember you, hehe…" He started running towards the gate at the peak speed his unfit body would allow. "Welcome to my humble abode, sir."

The panting man earned the disdain of young Romulus, so he snickered and then stuck a gross block of booger at John.

"How is this humble? You have a better home than I ever had!" Remus swaggered in with a hint of sadness in his voice. "Since you can afford to make a house like this… don't tell me your ideals have degraded and now you're engaging in illegal trade? If you are, I'll cut you down right here!"

"Illegal trade? I'm just selling street food!"