There was absolute silence. Ashley and lil' Arin stared at the door expectantly, and sooner than later, Stevie came out from there and greeted everyone.
He's Arin's best friend.
"Hi, everyone," he said dorkily. "Hi, Ms. Sexbang," he approached Ashley and extended his hand.
"Hi, Stevie," Ashley shook Stevie's hand and showed him a nice and bright smile.
Even though she knew Stevie was the dorkiest.
But he was a nice kid, though.
And Ashley thought Arin was Stevie's best friend not because Arin was as dorky as him—please, god, no—but because he was so nice and cool he decided to be like a big brother to poor lil' Stevie, like he was protecting him from bullies and helping him put talking to girls or something.
And, although Arin wasn't as dorky as Stevie, that didn't mean he was as cool as Ashley thought.
Anyway, Stevie approached Arin.
"Yo! Happy Bday, bro," Stevie said and tried to do some cool gang signs with his hands, but ended up just twisting and twitching his fingers in a clumsy manner and in front of everyone. "You're not a little girl anymore."
"Shut the fuck up," said Arin in a jokingly fashion, and they both hugged.
Now, normally if your parents hear you say the F word, they'd probably scold you, but not Danny or Ashley because they said "fuck" and "shit" and most curse words a lot.
Yes, Arin's parents had a really filthy mouth, but at least they weren't fucking hypocrites—as most parents are.
Anyway, Danny came out of his house visually annoyed. Beside him was Dwayne, Stevie's dad. He looked like the most average dad you could imagine. You know: big mushy mustache, a perfect dad bod, polo t-shirt tucked in some kaki shorts—which were pants at some point, but he decided to cut them out—big fucking glasses and crocs with socks. Needless to say, those socks were almost up to his knees.
"Wow, nice party you have here," Dwayne said.
"Of course is nice," Danny seemed extremely annoyed. "I organized it for my son. And who the fuck invited you?"
"I did," said Ashley glaring at her husband in a "is there a fucking problem with that… bitch?" way.
Danny said nothing and just grumbled like a bitch.
"So, I didn't noticed it before, but that's a nice guitar you have hanging from your neck," Dwayne pointed out in the friendliest and dadliest way possible. "Are you going to play a song for Arin? Are you gonna rock his socks off?" Dwayne smiled, put his clenched fists in front of his face and pretended to box with Danny for some reason.
"First of all," Danny didn't play along Dwayne's weird charade, "this is a bass. Learn the fucking difference. And second of all: I'm not just gonna blow his socks off, I'm gonna blow your fucking ears… off! Off! I'm gonna blow your ears off with my music. Not in a sexual way… shut up, Dwayne!"
Danny sat beside Uncle Arin, who was sitting beside Suzy, who was sitting beside Ashley, who was sitting besides lil' Arin, who was sitting beside Stevie, who was sitting beside Ninja Brian—and was really fucking terrified about it—who was sitting beside Dwayne, who was shitting his pants and sitting near Danny.
Ninja Brian seemed thrilled when it came to intimidate the guests.
"So… Mr. Brian," Dwayne, naively thinking Ninja Brian could be a nice guy once you get to know him, gathered all the courage his wimp-ass self had and spoke to him. "What is your job exactly?"
Ninja Brian glared at Dwayne so intensely, Dwayne almost fell from his chair.
Danny grinned.
"Ninja Brian says: 'fuck you,'" Danny said, and then he turned to Arin and left poor Dwayne hepless against Ninja Brian, who was staring at Dwayne with sadistic delight. "Anyway, we need to start making new songs for Starbomb, man."
Oh, yeah, Danny, Uncle Arin and Ninja Brian made an awesome band called Starbomb. They sang about videogames and shit.
"Yeah," Uncle Arin sighed and nodded, "it'll be cool to gather sometime and spitball some ideas, like, idk, 'unicorn wizard' or something. Well, maybe something not that stupid."
"Yeah, that's pretty stupid," Suzy confirmed.
Danny didn't say anything, but his eyes were gleaming with joy, and his mind was really busy thinking how fucking sick a unicorn wizard could be.
Imagine a majestic as fuck unicorn with a Gandalf-style hat—and maybe a Gandalf-style beard, but let's not get ahead of ourselves now—making spells with a wand on its snout.
Or its horn could be its wand.
Holy fuck, that's awesome!
"Arin!" Ashley yelled when she saw the cake. "Blow your fucking candles right now."
The candles were almost melted.
The cake was almost ruined.
"But we haven't sing 'happy birthday,'" complained Dwaine.
"Shut up, Dwayne!" Danny and Ashley yelled in unison.
Lil' Arin blew his candles, and everyone applauded.
"Happy birthday to you ♫," sang Dwayne, but no one followed his lead, so he stopped.
Then, Ashley started cutting the cake and serving slices to everyone.
When Ninja Brian received his slice, everyone looked at him hoping that, in order to eat the cake, he removed his mask and showed them a little bit of his face.
But Ninja Brian was well aware of this, so he glared at some point behind everyone else and flipped it off.
Everyone turned around to see who was there, but obviously they didn't find anyone.
When they turned around towards Ninja Brian, they founded him holding an empty plate and flipping them off with some content in his eyes.
They couldn't believe they were tricked that easily.
They also couldn't believe Ninja Brian ate a full slice of cake that fast.
But he was a ninja after all, and ninjas are nothing but fast and sneaky.
So it made perfect sense.
Anyway, after eating cake lil' Arin and Stevie stood up.
"Well, thanks for everything," said lil' Arin. "Some friends (but no Beck, though) organized a party, and we don't want to be that late, so we gotta hit the road."
"Have fun and be safe," Dwayne said and gave them a thumb up.
"And why you didn't invite them to this party, Leigh Arin Sexbang?" Ashley asked, pretending to be mad at his son.
But she really wanted to meet Arin's friends, though.
Lil' Arin didn't answer.
Ashley smiled.
"Just give me a hug before you go," she extended her arms, and lil' Arin hugged her.
"Go get 'em, boy," Uncle Arin patted lil' Arin's shoulder.
"Have fun, nephew," Suzy said.
"…" Ninja Brian glared at them and flipped them off.
"Hey, kid," Danny stood up and put his arm over his son's shoulder, "before you go, I wanna speak to you for a second."
They both entered the house.
"When I was your age everyone was starting to have sex. Not me, though. I spent most of my Saturday nights playing D&D. Or bass. Or with myself. Anyway, here." Danny handed his son a pack of magnum condoms. "You're the birthday boy after all."
And Arin couldn't feel more embarrassed and humiliated 'cause it was not like he was going to use those that night; he had no one to use them with, anyway, and if he wanted to use them, he would only use them with Beck. But that didn't mean he saw her that way, though. His love was true and pure, so he only wanted her to be his girlfriend, so they could be together and go on dates with her and talk about anything and share their dreams and secrets and insecurities. And maybe hug and kiss and after a while and, if everything went well for another while, maybe do it, and that would be a beautiful magical moment, a moment of love and deep connection.
But now at least he didn't need to embarrass himself buying some condoms.
"Thanks, dad," Arin said still confused.
Then, they walked through the hallway and headed to the door, but before they left:
"What's wrong with you?" Apparently Ashley was there and heard everything.
"I just want my son to get his dick wet," Danny exclaimed. "Is that so wrong?"
Well, if you have to ask…
"And why are you pushing him that hard? It's not like he's gonna be a virgin forever."
"If he keeps hanging out with Stevie, he may."
Yup. Stevie heard that.
But he wasn't mad about it, tbh.
He knew he was a big dork and his chances of scoring with a girl during high school—an even college—were really thin.
And that's why he always tried to stay out of Arin's way in everything Beck-related.