The giant pillar of fire and smoke conjured forth from his hands silenced all voices including his own. No one was able to speak except for the archmage who gave him the test, he was chuckling to his heart's desire. Shortly after the great display of raw power, all the applicants were guided out of the arena centre and back to the auditorium, where they were instructed to wait until further notice. With that, they left for home.
The attention quickly shifted towards Zane. He was not even able to take a single step without being hassled by someone, and that was just in the arena halls. When he found the exit, many many more were waiting to witness the marvel himself in person. They all asked the same questions, or gave the same compliments: how he was able to create such a blaze, how much magic he held inside of him, and where he learned to control such power. They asked him so many questions to which he had no answers to give. All he could manage was stutters and mumbles before another question was asked.
The gracious flattery was worse. His heart beat erratically at every kind word, his face stuck in a permanent state of red. Never before had he received such genuine praise from strangers. It was always his parents giving encouraging words for his deeds, and they always helped to brighten his spirits. In this situation, it made him giddy inside and more confused. He did not know how to take their praise since he had no control over his explosive display of talent. In his mind, he knew that he could not take full credit for what he did, but his heart was beating faster and faster with joy.
A large crowd waited outside the arena for the children to approach. When the doors opened, a chorus of cheers swelled through the city. Children shuffled through in search of their parents, looking for either an uplift from despair or a surge of ecstasy. Laughter spread all around aiding those in tears to find some reason for happiness.
Seeing so many fall so quick into despair but then rise again into joy made Zane feel fuzzy. The hairs on the back of his head stood up straight. He felt something bump his shoulder, and saw that it was Maria walking beside him. He smiled at her in genuine glee, but she was only able to give a sombre spread of the lips. Her small smile chased away his own. Everything around him drifted into silence as he remembered that she did not have anyone waiting for her, no one to commemorate her efforts. A feeling he understood but did not feel. After all, he had a mother, whom he had left a letter to her, eagerly waiting for his return.
Still, something was bothering him that he needed to expunge immediately. He hugged her tight while whispering into her ear, "I suppose I should still thank you."
Her arms returned the embrace. "If you get chosen for the academy, it would have been due to your own efforts." She backed away from him, her head looking down at their feet. "You don't need me anymore to achieve your dream." He wanted to say something, but she was already walking away into the crowd.
All he wanted was to show her his gratitude even though in the end it meant little. He thought about following her back to the orphanage, but changed his mind believing that he did not want to see him at the moment. Perhaps some time in the near future they will meet again.
After pushing his way through the crowd wishing him well, he felt that he could finally breathe free again. Cool air returned to surround him, a pleasant change of pace from the sweaty and hot bodies pushed up against him. He stretched his arms shaking off the aching in his joints, and he let rush into his shirt which was stuck to his skin. He took his first full step in a while and felt relieved to stretch out his legs. He rather enjoyed the long walk home. It let him fully appreciate everything that happened until this moment, and it gave him a chance to think of a way to explain everything to his mother. He knew that even though she probably read his note, she was still worried sick about him.
It was early afternoon when he reached the door to his aunt's home. He stood outside nearly bouncing with pride and energy. Opening the door in a courteous manner was a difficult thing to do. He announced his arrival with a smile, but was met with scorn from his mother and aunt. They stared daggers at him for long moments before his mother berated him, "Why didn't you tell me what you were going to do?! Do you really think one note was enough to calm me down?! What were you thinking?! Well? Answer me, dammit! No, I don't even want to talk to you!"
He expected such a response for his actions. He did not like lying to her in this state of despair, but the surprise he wanted to share would help to lighten the mood. He looked over to his aunt who asked him in an unimpressed tone, "So, why did you take the entrance exam without telling us? Let alone your mother?"
He took a breath before answering, "Well, it's just like you said. If I got in, I would be taken care of, and I would no longer be a burden to mother…"
His mother interjected back into the conversation, "So you told him to do it?!" An accusing finger was pointed at the aunt.
Zane quickly answered for her to help clear her innocence, "N-no, no! Aunt Tisha didn't tell me to do anything!"
"I said I don't want to talk to you!" She snapped back at him.
It was worse than he thought. He had never seen her this furious before. He did not even know that he was capable of becoming so enraged. He knew that he needed to tell her the good news and quickly, "I casted magic!" He shouted it with a smile.
This seemed to intrigue his mother and aunt. They asked him for clarification, and he replied saying the exact same words again. His mother was still skeptical, "T-that can't be possible… you never showed any…"
"An entire arena of people saw me create this huge fire! I think I even passed the test!" He tried to sound as confident as possible.
The rage inside her slowly subsided. She shifted between disbelief and then excitement. Tears started to well up in her eyes as she giggled into her hands. This was the mother he knew and loved, the mother who was proud of her son in everything he did. Eventually, Aunt Tisha started to join in the giggling. Both of them then embraced Zane in their arms. He heard her mother speak, "I'm still mad at you though."
The trio lightly laughed. He felt glad that they were able to have found a reason to laugh. Since the farm, everyone in the family was held down by the chains of sorrow, but now they were unravelling the chains around them in a dance of happiness. For the first time in his life, he felt that he truly gave something back to his parents even if it was to only one of them. His aunt broke away to speak, "I think this calls for a little celebratory dinner, eh? We'll talk more about this later."
He and his mother broke off to clear the dinner table, while Aunt Tisha left for the kitchen. He wondered what she was going to cook. She always did make rather enjoyable meals since she had more ingredients to spare than they did. One of the perks to living in the city. He could hear her smack two flint rocks together. He came to offer up his newly acquired magic, but she denied him, "Let's keep to what we know. Don't want you accidentally burning the house down."
She chuckled wholeheartedly, unaware of how deep her words cut into him, but it was true. He went a little blind in awe of his new abilities, so much so that he overlooked the potential dangers of that power and his incompetence in using it. For a moment, he felt ashamed for underestimating his sudden change in the arena. He closed his fingers into fists and kept them close to his body.
His mother's voice called out from the dinner table, "What are you thinking of cooking, Tish?"
"A stew maybe. With beef, onions, and maybe some carrots if I have any. Could you come over and help me?" She asked back.
Together, the two women worked away in the kitchen. His aunt focused on the meat while his mother diced the onions. He felt awkward standing there doing nothing, so he searched the pantry and cabinets for the carrots. Eventually he found them and began to cut them into thin disks. They all did their part and soon enough a full pot was cooking over a fire. The smell of meat and onions filled the room pleasuring their nostrils.
They sat at the table waiting for the stew to finish cooking. The time was used to appease their curiosities. His mother went first, "So, tell us what happened. Start from the very beginning." She could not help herself from feeling the same excitement a child would.
He took a breath to think before he answered. "Well, the first test was to light a fire. All of us were given one stick, one cold coal fruit, and one stone that was kind of like milk. Everyone else was using magic to make theirs, but I still didn't know that I had magic yet and I also noticed how the stone was reflecting the sun a bit. So I pointed it at the coal fruit, and sure enough the fruit got hot. Making the fire was easy after that."
His aunt jumped in with fervour, "There's your boy alright, Iggi. Never one to waste anything!" She quickly left to give the stew a good stir.
He continued, "Then the next test, we all had to take a torch from a bonfire, and then snuff it out. Everyone started doing their own thing again, while I thought of smacking it with my palms…"
Iggi interrupted this time, "What?! Wasn't that painful?" She gasped. "Look at your hands! Couldn't you feel that they were in pain?"
He reflexively looked down and realised what she was talking of. He knew that they had gotten burnt after the test, but he dismissed it as simple charred skin. Now, after a good look, he noticed how much worse it was. Skin was peeling off, blisters formed up his fingers, and his whole hands were bright pink and red, standing in stark contrast to his tanned arms.
She quickly walked around the house looking for the healing supplies. She found the bandages, and burn-ointments behind a pile of dusty books in the cabinet. All he could do now was wait for her to finish treating his hands, and endure the pain his recklessness had wrought. She gently tapped the ointment all over his hands, every sting driving the lesson home but by the time the bandages came the pain was not as intense. She looked at him in the eyes and spoke, "You shouldn't do things that involve hurting yourself. This could have been much worse!"
He looked down in shame, his face flustered. "Sorry, mother. Anyways, after that came the final test. We had to relight the torch we just killed. This was the hardest one because I still didn't know that I was magical yet. Now please don't be mad, but… I kinda cheated on this one."
The angry mother from before slowly came back. She glared at him, "What?"
He was quick to reply, "B-but they did catch me! Right after it too!" She seemed to calm down, allowing him to continue undisturbed, "My friend and I planned to cheat, but it didn't work like we thought it would. A master mage jumped down and called me out in front of everyone. He gave me one last chance to prove myself, and gave me an impossible task. I had to light this huge log on fire in two minutes, and burn it to a crisp. I knew that I would not be able to do it, but hearing everyone laugh at me just made me so angry! Then all of a sudden, the log burst into enormous flames, and the master mage said that I had passed."
"That's it?" His mother asked him. He could tell that she was a little unimpressed with his story.
Aunt Tisha was carrying the pot over to the table when the question was asked. She placed the pot in the middle of the table, and then spoke, "I think your mother wants to know more than just that, Zane." A light chuckle escaped her.
They all started serving themselves a bowl of stew from the pot. He took one swallow of the stew and immediately dove in for more spoonful's. The cactus stew he ate at home was still a pleasant meal that he ate delightfully, but his aunt's impromptu beef stew shined in comparison. The meat was soft and tender, the onions sweet, and the carrots were just right in bringing some crunch. He made sure to savour the meal as much as he could. It was after a few spoons that he remembered what his aunt said, and so he spoke forgetting that his mouth was full, "It was… more than anything I could have imagined."
Hot stew fell onto his shirt and legs staining them wet and brown. He wiped away what he could and continued, "It's hard to explain. All I could feel was this… rush. Like I had been for days straight but suddenly stopped. And when I did, it wasn't my feet that felt tired, it was my hands. My fingers felt like they were on fire. In fact everything felt like it was on fire. It didn't hurt. Instead it felt like something new and extraordinary yet at the same time very familiar. As if it had been with me forever. When I opened my eyes, there were flames sprouting from my fingertips, a giant column of flame and smoke. It reached high into the sky like it was shaking hands with the sun." His words were full of awe and majesty as he recalled his memories. A smile spread across his face. "Then everything felt cold again. Back to the way it was."
They smiled back at him full of care and familial love, and listened intently while they ate their bowls of stew. Aunt Tisha spoke up after finishing her bowl, "That's truly something else, isn't it? Must have been terrifying though."
"Not really. All I felt at that moment was excitement." His smile grew wider.
His mother could feel the happiness emanating from him. A tear fell down from her eye, a tear of joy. She tried to wipe it away before he could see, but she was too slow. When he asked her if something was wrong, she replied, "Nothing. I'm just happy that's all. I knew that small frightened boy would grow to be someone special."
Hearing this from her confused him. It was elevating to hear the very person who took him in, raised him, and loved him say such words. Yet, he felt as if he did not deserve them, as if he still needed to earn her love somehow. He wanted to tell her about this conflict, about everything that has happened until this moment. Especially about the farm, but again fear and shame silenced him. Instead he walked over to her and hugged her tight hoping that somehow his message would be heard.
She made him sit down on the chair beside her so that she could ask him the questions plaguing her mind. "So why didn't you tell me you were planning this?"
He knew she was going to ask, but he did not know what to say: the truth, or part of it. His shame drove him to answer with the latter, "Because I knew you would try to talk me out of it."
She nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, I probably would have. But still, why didn't you want to tell me? I get the feeling that you would have done it anyways. Is there… something you're afraid to tell me?"
He now felt trapped. The last thing he wanted was to ruin the pleasant mood that was just established, but on the other hand the burden on his shoulders was growing heavier and heavier. All he wanted to do was dump it all away and feel free again. However, in his guilt ridden, trapped mind, he opted for part of the truth again, "I… I just didn't want you to worry about me." He looked down to the floor.
She did not say anything more. She placed a hand on his knee to comfort him. Her voice was calm and soothing, "There's something else, isn't it? It's alright, you can tell me."
He could feel himself being pushed further into the trap like it was the only way to escape it, but he just could not free himself from the vices around his ankles, "I-I… it's… I can't. I'm not ready to." His eyes felt wet and his breathing was cracking.
He did not need someone to tell him that there was a distance growing between him and his mother. He could feel her slip away with every lie, every part-truth, and every avoidance of the truth. He did not need to look at her face to know what she was feeling for he was feeling the same things: disappointment, failure, and sadness. He wanted to confess to everything, but in all honesty he did feel like he was not ready yet. Aunt Tisha came back into the room with some bread. They did not even realise that she had left to the kitchen, but seeing her back was the change of pace they needed.
The trap was now sealed for good. The happiness he tried to preserve was now broken. He thought that if he kept quiet again then things would continue as they were, but instead it only made things come to a stop. He now realised that he should have told her everything. However, it was too late. Aunt Tisha was back with her charisma, and ready to keep the energy going. He thanked her silently for being unaware of what just happened.
They continued talking about the exam, Zane's magic, old happy memories, and what lay in wait for the future. All thoughts of guilt and sadness whittled away into the night. The stars painted the dark sky shining soft light onto all who lay beneath them. They all retired to bed to bring an end to the present, and to jump forward into the future. The next day, there was a letter addressed for Zane. It was an invitation actually, an invitation to join the first class of the year for new mages, and to officially join the beginning of the school year.