"I-I'm sorry, don't think I could return those feelings—"
"I'm sorry..."
"You're a lovely person."
Those words felt like little daggers to Castor; constantly stabbing him in his heart. He's struggling, and he is positive that this will haunt him for the rest of his life. Yet, here he is, smiling sweetly to the love of his life pretending those words didn't hurt him.
Tamitha and Castor climbed down from the rooftop. The steps were narrow; with every stride Castor take, he would feel his heart constrict as if those steps represent something... Each pace hurt more and more as if he was getting pressed up into something unknown: something he's not aware of... or at least avoiding to know.
As much as Castor wants to give his full attention to the young lass in front of him, he still can't shake off the fact that he was just rejected by that same person. He kept taking deep sighs to suppress his feelings while looking happy in front of Tamitha.
While he was confessing his feelings earlier, he thought the universe was in slow motion. In Castor's eyes, every movement of Tamitha was precise and beautiful; the way he noticed the small gasped she let go while he was professing his love for her, how her lips trembles, afraid of saying the wrong words to turn him down. Everything's visible to Castor...
Finally, they took the last step of that long and narrow staircase and Castor probably made the worst decision he could come up with, but he knew all too well that it is for the best. He remained to his spot, took a long depressing breath before handing out a key to Tamitha.
The lass stopped too and looked at Castor with a completely puzzled look. "Go get him." Those three words broke him. It registered pain to his face, but he smiled, anyway. Then, just like that, Tamitha was once again on the brink of her tears. "No... No, C. Don't do this, please."
"It's fine... I'm fine." He gently muttered, with a sweet smile unto his face, making his adoring dimples appear. He grabbed Tamitha's hand and carefully place the key into her palm.
He let out a soft giggle while looking at Tamitha's tantalizing dark black eyes. A tear escaped his eyes but he was fast to wipe it out but that didn't escape from Tamitha. "I'm fine." He repeated once more, convincing Tamitha and himself. Pity was all over Tamitha's eyes. And he can't bear it any longer.
"I love you." He muttered under his breath and kissed Tamitha on his forehead before walking away.
And as if right on cue, all his suppressed tears started falling. He bravely moved his way to the empty college hallway and let his feet take him anywhere. His arms still in his pocket, thinking about all the things they could have been.
Just like that, he saw himself in front of Tamitha and Pearl's dorm room. He doesn't know why his feet brought him here, but then again he realized he could use a friend right now. He knocked at the door, hoping someone would answer it.
After three more tries of knocking, finally, someone answered it. "H-Hey! W-What are you doing here?" Pearl answered the door, panting. She was all dressed up ready for the concert just like Tamitha she's wearing a 'The Strokes' band merch shirt, white pants, and long black boots. Full-glam makes up along with her accessories. "Oh, wow! You're prepared for this concert." Castor teased. He can't help himself; Pearl indeed outdid herself tonight.
Pearl just rolled her eyes in return and ask him once more, "What are you doing here?"
"Aren't you going to ask me to come inside first?"
"Psh, alright, fine. Come in." Pearl stated with a sarcastic tone. She opened the door wide for Castor, then shut it afterward when the lad successfully entered the premises. "So, what now?" He sensed the urgency in Pearl's voice, making him worried. He adjusted his seat on the sofa and look directly in Pearl's direction.
"Are you alright? What's wrong with you?"
"Oh, for the love of God! Why the freak are you here?!" She shouted and or the nth time Pearl rolled her eyes along with a nose flared up and a harsh arm movement wanting to strangle Castor with it. Castor surrendered with his arms held up high, scared for his life. "Geez, calm down, lady — I just need a friend, right now." He put down his arms and crossed them while resting his body on the couch, enjoying its softness of each matte cream cushion.
"Oh, Tamitha's not around. You can go now, bye!" Pearl walked straight to the door to open it for Castor. He didn't know if she was being serious right now or what. Castor also noticed how Pearl's been acting kind of weird lately.
"C'mon, Pearl! I was talking about you!" He pointed towards Pearl. In return, Pearl took a deep breath before heading back to the living room and settled down to the smaller couch across from the couch Castor sitting in right now.
"Alright then, what happened?" Pearl sulked. She rested her body on the couch while her arms folded.
"I finally told Tamitha what I feel..." Castor started. "What?!" Pearl immediately jumped out of the sofa, which shocked Castor big time. He was not expecting her to react this way.
She resumed back to her sit and acted as if nothing grand happened. "Y-You have feelings for her?" The lass commented excitedly; her black pointy eyes gleamed with excitement as if it was her very first time to hear this news.
"W-What? What kind of question was that?" Castor looked at her with all confusion in his eyes, not understanding her. "You're the first person to know about this — Heck! You even help me know more about your friend. What's wrong with you?"
Castor squinted his eyes, waiting for Pearl's response, but all he got was silence. Little did he know, Pearl's already sweating bullets clueless of what she could respond to the man in front of her.
"Oh, yeah r-right..." She nervously giggled while crossing her legs as if she's holding back a pee, but in reality, she's just trying to compose herself, or else she'll break loose. "Right! — I must have forgotten about it — You know we got because for the upcoming concert and all that stuffs." She added more, Castor just rolled his eyes, not believing what he just heard.
"Anyway!" She shouted; sat properly and clasped her hands before throwing the big question, "How did it go?" Her eyes were full of anticipation.
He shook his head, closed his eyes, and, "S-she said that I'm a lovely person..." He half-smiled recalling the sweet voice of Tamitha saying those words. "And... she said she's sorry." His voice broke, tears falling down his beautiful brown eyes filled with pain and a hint of regret.
"You know... I had this whole ass speech I've prepared; professing how my love for her and how it bloomed mysteriously knowing that we just met a few months back. I wanted to tell her every single thing I love about her but — I got tongue-tied and I got scared..."
He is a wreck right now, his face turning all red and his tears pouring. He sniffed and wiped his tears. "I-I don't know, this is pathetic." He laughed. "We'll be with them later. I'm so stupid for confessing. I definitely picked the wrong time to do it."
Castor got up from the couch and started jumping, shaking his entire system to get himself together. 'Get your shit together, C.' He whispered. Pearl, who's sitting pretty and quietly observing Castor's movement.
"This is probably for the best... I guess." He stopped jumping and took a deep breath with his eyes deep shut. "Why? That's it? You will not fight for her? That's love for you? How pitiful." Pearl scoffed with her eyebrows raised, fiercely looking at Castor.
"I can't win to someone she is meant to be with."
"Says who?"
The two give each other a serious look not backing down.
"My fight's already over. She's with him right now and God knows what's happening there right now." Castor, being the first one to break the staring contest and headed back sitting on the couch.
"Oh hon, the fight's just about to start, trust me... Get back there and claim what's yours" Pearl smiled darkly, she smiled more when she saw the serious look of Castor. Pearl got to his head; he is actually considered doing it.
'The fight's not over, yet... I can still have her.'