Sweat poured down my hands as I squeezed them harder and harder against each other. "What's bothering you, Kelsey?" I looked down at the large brown desk which belonged to the school counselor.
I shook my head, indicating that I was not ready to answer her question. Her eyes scanned me, checking my body language. I saw her frown as she set her elbows down on the table. I sighed and started playing with my hair, attempting to distract myself from the uncomfortable situation that I was in.
"Kelsey?" She broke the silence, almost whispering my name.
I looked up suddenly, making eye contact, and then immediately set my eyes to the ground. I watched her from the corner of my eye as she placed a piece of paper on top of her desk.
My name is Kelsey
That was the full contents of the paper. She wanted me to read it. I stared at the paper and let my lips part, preparing to read the sentence, the simple sentence, off of the paper.
I pulled the sheet closer to me as it made an almost inaudible sound, scraping the wooden desk beneath it. I looked at the words and parted my lips again. No sound would escape from my lips. A failure, that's what I was. I kept my eyes on the paper, imagining what the counselor was thinking at this very moment. Probably that I was stupid and incompetent. She would never understand why I was having such trouble reading such a simple sentence off of a paper. She would never quite understand the embarrassment that coursed through my veins, simply trying to read my name off of a paper.
I felt her arms reach across the table as she took back the paper she had handed me.
"It's okay Kelsey" She said "No one will be upset with you. You are not a failure. Many kids struggle with very similar things that you do and I promise, I promise, we will get to the bottom of this, and we will help you.
I nodded my head and stood up from the green, cushioned chair that I was sitting in. I walked out the door, making sure that no one was watching me exit the counselors office. When I discovered that the coast was clear, I started walking towards muy classroom, anticipating the entrance I would have to make, disturbing the class and bringing unwanted attention onto myself.
I slowly turned the door handle and walked into the classroom. Inside of it, posters were plastered on the walls, and students were conversing with one another, as the teacher failed to get their attention. She gave me a nod, acknowledging my presence, and I blushed. I pulled out the small chair that was pushed into the table, and I sat down. My heart rate slowed down, and I let out a deep breath. Kelsey means Fierce and confident- All of the things I would never be.