When I stepped through the door, I knew that there was going to be trouble. What kind, I was not sure of yet. The air between us is tense, and I just know that soon it is going to blow up in a big argument. The scene is set; now, it is time for it to unfold.
Darcy used to be amazing; at one stage in our wonderful life together, I had known for sure that she is the only woman I would want to spend my life with. I loved her dearly, and even after what she did, I kept loving her dearly. But I will not be one to lie; since it happened, there was always one piece of us that were not complete anymore. What we once had has fallen in an enormous way apart.
Now, this is all we do; we fight, day in and day out. This is my reason for walking the streets at night. What drives me to seek the comfort of being alone. I do all this to avoid her, but in doing so, I just seem to make her angrier. It is true that I should perhaps show more effort, but how can you show effort when you cannot even give trust.
She is standing in front of me with her arms folded and screaming at the top of her voice, "Carson, I asked you what is on your shirt?"
"What are you talking about, Darcy?" I ask. "My shirt is drenched, so I guess you'd say there is water on it."
"Don't give me bullshit, Carson. There on your collar, what is on your collar?"
"Nothing Darcy, I told you that my damn shirt is wet. Now, if you will excuse me, I would like to get out of it".
I try to force myself past her, but she keeps shoving her body in my way. For someone that is as slim as her, she surely is standing her ground. "Darcy, please can you move out my way? I want to get out of these wet clothes".
"Oh, I bet you do," she snaps back at me, "You probably did not think you would get caught. Who is it, Carson? Is it that slutty personal assistant of yours?"
"Have you gone completely mad? What are you talking about? I left the office hours ago and took a walk".
"Well, how did that get there then?" Once again, she points to my wet shirt. Now I am getting highly annoyed, I am wet and somewhat cold, and it does not seem like she is going to move. She is insisting that there is some sort of stain that I know nothing of.
"What get where, Darcy?"
"That damn lipstick stain on your collar, Carson!"
I immediately protest, knowing full well that I have not been with another woman, "I don't have a lipstick..."
I am finally able to get past her and walk on over to the mirror on the dining room wall. What I see comes to me as a complete shock. She is right; there right in front of me is a clear red lipstick stain on my collar. Not even a subtle one but I very clear impression of a woman's lips. I would say I am glad it is not my neck, but I think that would make it even worse. But it is there, a clearly visible from what I can say someone's plump red lips.
"Fuck! How..." I utter in complete surprise; this is truly something I know nothing about. How did this lipstick stain get on my collar? Have I gone completely mad?
"Yes, Carson! How?" she says, interrupting my thoughts.
"I don't know, Darcy! I have not been with another woman".
"Well, it did not get there by itself, now did it?" she says as her anger is turning into a ridiculous rage. "God to think I have trusted you. After all these years, you go and do that? Who is it, Carson?"
I am totally taken aback by her remark, "You want to throw that one at me. Seriously, Darcy, you want to talk about trust. There is nobody. I was with…" I pause for a second and realize, "Oh shit!"
"Yes shit, Carson, is it all coming back to you now?"
"I can explain, it was a girl, there was this girl I bumped into the alley."
"Now that is a new all-time low for you, Carson."
She takes her engagement ring from her finger and throws it at me. The only thought that runs through my mind is that here we go again. I have honestly stopped counting how many times she has done this before. I will always cave in and pick it up, then beg for her forgiveness even though I am not the one that has done wrong. Well, not tonight; tonight, Darcy, you can pick it up yourself.
"Shove that up your ass; you are nothing but a lying sack of shit" she turns around, just about to storm off into the bedroom.
"Darcy, I told you I did not do anything!" I still try to explain to somehow make this situation all better again, "How can you even think I would cheat on you with a random girl in an alley."
"Then how the fuck did the lipstick get on your collar?" she asks.
"I told you she bumped into me! She walked into me! Must I show you how people accidentally walk into each other?"
"Screw you, Carson. Do not think for one second I am going to buy your outrageous lies."
I have now very much reached my limit. From here on end, this will only get ugly. I am not one that believes in getting nasty, but I swear that sometimes she drives me very close to it. All I do know now is that I need to get out of here," You know what, Darcy?"
"No, but please do tell me?"
"I am not in the mood for your shitty mood and attitude tonight." I grab a clean shirt and a jacket and make my way to the front door, "I am going to the club."
"Don't lie! You going to her, aren't you? "
"I told you there is no her! Why must you always be so mad? You are forever causing a fight."
"You are forever giving me a reason," she shouts while trying to find her engagement ring on the floor.
"Where? What do I do wrong? You will look fault in absolutely everything I do. I feel that I am not good enough for you anymore?"
"You the one, Carson, you the one that makes me feel I am not good for you anymore."
"Did you forget about you that..." I stop before I ever go further; this will just open an entirely new argument, "Never mind, I am leaving; having this argument is just pointless."
I turn on my heels and head straight back out the front door. I can hear Darcy shouting after me, but I do not even pay the slightest attention. I storm down the street, rage slowly building up in me. As I pass by every person, I thank the rain for beating down against my cheeks. The overwhelming pain has taken over me as the tears start flowing freely down my face. I am not a man to cry, but god knows I am not a man made to fight over and over each night.
Before I even notice, I am off into the dead of the night. Very shortly, I find myself wandering down to the very same alley where I found her before. What will the chances be for me to walk into her again? Well, I would say very near lucky.
The very thought of her sends those sensations that I felt not so long ago. My tears stop, and once again, my body feels alive. I have not felt such a truly amazing feeling for as long as I can possibly remember. Thinking of her brings me warmth; it fills me up and threatens to consume me in every possible way. I would simply die if I could see her again.
And then it happens, lily and vanilla, it fills the air. Could it possibly be her? But I do not see her. Is it truly her smell, or is it just the smell of another that fills the air?
I must see her; I need to find where it is coming from. I find myself walking in the same direction where I bumped into her earlier on. The urgency in my steps is very clear as you can hear them echo through the deserted streets. But the echo is not loud enough, for suddenly, I find myself walking straight into someone.
"Ouch! Damn, are you made of bricks" I hear the soft voice of a girl say, "Can you not see where you are walking?"
"Sorry miss," my own voice that of a whisper, "I am afraid I was not paying attention to where my steps were taking me."
"Hahaha, your steps," the girl bursts out laughing. She pauses for a second and raises her voice in pure excitement. "Wait! Your voice sounds very familiar. Did I...?"
"Did you...?" the excitement in my own voice clearly comes audible too.
She slowly moves away from my body, her heat leaving the closeness of mine too soon. She has the most piercing deep sparkle in her eyes. She looks at me, and I swear it feels like she is looking straight into my soul.
"Oh shit!" she utters in surprise. "I walked into you again!"
I look at her with a mischievous smile. "I must say this time I was doing the walking."
"What are you doing in the alley again?" she asks. "Do you live here or something?"
"I think I can ask the same of you?" I reply. "A beautiful woman like you should not wander the streets alone."
"Well, I have a handsome man to walk into, so I am not really alone," she winks at me and smiles.
I study her closely, the alley might be dark, but from the shadow of the streetlight that is falling on her, I can see she is exquisite. I have never seen such beauty with my own eyes. And as I stare for a few minutes longer, I do now see what made the bright red stain on my collar, her soft velvety lips. "Can I be so forward?"
"Well, we have been very intimately close twice already," she jokingly says.
"Then I would like to ask you a question?"