If only she will say yes, I want to spend more time with her. Being in her presence makes me feel alive. The waves of emotions she brings to my body just make me beg and scream for more. I know I should not, I know I should turn around and go home, but I cannot. She captivates me; she draws me in with every inch of my skin.
Looking at her beauty does not only take my breath away; it knocks all the air out from my chest. Now she is standing here and doing this damn seductive thing with those supple pink lips. I have never been known as a man that loses control, but I would lose every bit that keeps me together just to spend tonight with her.
I feel like a complete fool every time I speak to her. The only thing I seem to mutter out is one simple word. "Soooo..."
"I…I should not be doing this."
"It is only one drink, please. I can take you to my club; then you can see I am not taking any chances."
She pauses for a minute and looks at me as to survey me up and down. I know what she is thinking, I should be the bad boy of the town if she can only give me an hour to prove myself to her.
After carefully studying me for the better part of a minute, she speaks to me but not before she nips at her own bottom lip. "Oh, so you have a club?"
"Yes, it is called LIV."
"Aaahh LIV, I know it pretty well."
"Then you will know it is not a bad place and that I…I am not a bad guy either."
"I never said you are bad; I do recall saying you are married."
"And I recall that I said I am engaged."
"Engaged," she objects. "Meaning that you are still taken."
"Taken, meaning that I am not a cheater, but I would love to spend more time in your company."
"You are stating your case pretty strong here," she laughs. "You are sure you are not a lawyer?"
"I am definitely not a lawyer, but that is not what we are discussing."
"Then what are we discussing then?"
I look down at my feet as I step one step closer. I am doing this again, and I know I should not. But I am like a moth that is being drawn to a flame, and nothing is telling me I am in danger.
"We are…" I step one more step closer, close enough so I can reach my arms and fold them around her waist. The closer I get, the softer my voice becomes.
"Talking about…" I step closer and closer, close enough to feel her warmth radiate from her skin.
"If you will say yes," I look up into her eyes; her lips are but less than an eye wink away. All I need to do is lean an inch forward, and mine would be against them. But mine is trembling, and how I would love us to tremble together.
I take a lock of her hair and twirl it around my finger, then gently pull it closer. The scent of honey fills my nostrils as I feel the soft touch of her hair against my skin.
"If I knew what the scent of an angel was, then I would say it was you."
"Flirting is not going to get me to come with you."
"You would know when I am flirting with you, and this is not it" I lean in closer. "Do you want to know something else?" My lips touch the delicate tips of her ear. I hear her gasp, and the pace of her breath increases. If she feels anything as much as I do now, she knows how much I need to be with her.
"Plea…please tell me", she says through stuttered breaths.
"That I can so easily kiss you right now, but I won't."
"Why, why not?"
"Because I have a ring on my finger. Now, please, will you come have a drink with me?" I pull away and hear her softly whimper.
"Okay, but only for an hour."
I can hardly contain my visible excitement as I lace my fingers between hers, and we make our way out the alley.
"I thought you said you have a ring on your finger?", she looks and points to our hands.
"I said I was not going to kiss you. I never mentioned anything about your hand."
"Are you perhaps holding onto it because you are scared I would run away?"
"No, but now that you mention it," I laugh, holding tighter onto her hand. "I am merely making sure you get out of the darkness safe."
"Well, I am happy you are the one taking me away from it."
What she does not know is that she, too, is leading me away from the darkness, not the darkness of this alley but the darkness of my heart. I know that I can not be with her, but this, whatever this is, for the next hour, all I want is this.
As we get to the main road, I let go of her hand; I almost immediately miss the warmth. I reach out to take it back again, but she slowly pulls it away. Even though we walk in silence the entire walk, there is something in the air that lingers between us.
As we reach the entrance at LIV, I turn to her and smile, not a normal little smile but one mor the mischievous kind.
She frowns and slightly tilts her head to the side; when she speaks, her voice is soft and gentle, "What are you up to, Carson?"
"Tasnim, I am afraid you are going to have to take my hand again. You see, it is extremely packed inside, and I would hate to lose you in there".
"Oh, I am sure you hate it a lot."
"Believe me when I say it does kill me when I have your hand in mine."
"Just not the bad killing kind."
"You do catch on quite quickly, don't you? So, what do you say? You feel like killing me with kindness?"
"As long as I have an effect on you, then yes."
For with some many times tonight, I feel the tip of her fingers as they are pressing into my palm.
I hold her firm and enter the club with her hand in hand; I lead her through the crowds to the VIP section. We still hold onto each other long after we pass through the crowd. As we reach the section where we usually sit, I still do not let go. It feels so natural that I want to hold onto this feeling for as long as I can.
There already seated are the bunch of men that work for me; they are much surprised to see me standing in front of him holding another woman's hand.
"Evening, Carson. Who is your lady friend?" Mason winks at me, pointing to us, still holding firm onto each other.
"Oh…this…this", I let go of Tasnim's hand. "This is Tasnim; I bumped into her in the alley."
"Aaahh, the lipstick girl," he says and smiles.
"How? How did you know?"
"Dear Darcy was here looking for you."
"Does not surprise me at all. I shall give her a call."
"Come," Mason gestures for us to sit down. "Don't worry about that now. Let me get you and Tasnim a drink. I shall send it over while I go fetch something for you from the office."
Mason leaves the table, but not before he pats me on the back and smiles. I know what he is thinking; if only he were right. If only she was really with me and won't be leaving in an hour's time. But we have this moment, we have now, I know that I will probably not see her again after tonight, so we may as well make the best of just now.
And just now, all I want is to have her as close to me as I possibly can. She goes to take a seat across from me at the table, but I reach out and immediately stop her. "Will you sit next to me, please?"
"Mmm," she taps her finger on her lips as if she is thinking. "That is a tough choice, sit by myself or sit by the hot boy that makes the heads turn."
"Hahaha," I burst out laughing. "Hot boy, that makes the heads turn. You must have me confused with Mason."
"Nah," she says. "I saw how the ladies looked at you when you came in."
"It is a pity I am taken."
"It is a pity, hey," she winks at me and smiles.
I wink back and give her a smile, if only she knew that I was not referring to my fiancé. I let her slide into the chair, and then I slide in behind. She gasps as I move in, and my broad shoulders touch her. I see what my closeness is doing to her and push our legs tightly together.
"Soooo…"
"You like saying so."
"Of course. It gives me time to think. The longer I get to drag it out, the more I can think".
"So, what are you thinking about?"
"Do you really want to know"?
"I prefer if you are honest with me, yes."
"That your lips were so close to me, and I could not kiss them," I say, looking down at her lips.
"Do you want to kiss them?"
"More than you think."
"It is a pity then."
"But…" I look her back into the eyes.
"I sense you have found a loophole somewhere."
"I can still touch them."
"Who says I am going to allow you?"
"I know you will." I take my thumb to her bottom lip and gently run it from one corner to the other. They are soft and smooth, and the lip-gloss makes it slide with ease. She nearly stops to breathe as I move over them between the seams and slightly begin to part them.
The heat between our bodies is unmistakable. Her breathing is short and shallow. She whispers, but her trembling lips only cause her words to whimper. I see my name forming around her lips, but I do not hear it. She is drowning in the power I have over her body.
"Tasnim."
"Yes, Carson."
"Please let me."
"Let you…"
I do not let her finish; I move my lips breath by breath even closer to hers. We are so close now that we are breathing the same breath. I look down at her lips and back up to meet her eyes. She closes her eyes, and I move forward, closing the space between us. The first thing I notice is how much she tastes like cotton candy. As I tuck at her bottom lip, she stops and pulls away.
"I can't." She jumps up from her seat faster than I can even speak and rushes off into the crowd.
"Tasnim! Stop!"
I run after her but quickly lose her between all the people. By the time I get to the door and rush into the street, she is nowhere to be seen.
"Fuck, Carson. Fuck!"
I try, but I cannot find her, she has disappeared into the night. I start making my way back into the club and find Mason waiting at our seats.
"Where did you guys disappear to?"
"She ran off; I can't find her. She is gone from me again."
"Why would she do that?"
"I try to kiss her. Dammit, Mason, I tried to kiss her. I almost cheated on Darcy".
"Don't worry about Darcy, Carson."
"Mason, she is my fiancé, I must, I am not going to cheat on her."
"Well, remember I told you that Darcy was looking for you?"
"Yes, what did she want?"
"She wanted me to give you a message."