"Calm down, Honey. You're going to do great." Vivian brushed a stray hair away from Ori's face and tucked it behind her ear. Today, Ori would be taking the entrance exam to Todai, and her stomach was tightening with anxiety and anticipation.
Ori sucked in a deep breath to calm her nerves; she would be fine. All she had to do was her best. She was smart, so there's no way she could do that badly. A pair of slim hands on Ori's shoulders pushed her out to the door and onto the wooden porch steps. Vivian had shoved Ori into the gentle late morning breeze. She was smiling brightly down at Ori, the pride evident in her pretty and age defined features.
"Go out there and do your best, Ori!" Vivian gave Ori a happy thumbs up that made Ori want to get one-hundred percent on the test. All she wanted was to make her mom proud, and this was how she was able to do it. Ori smiled back as she returned the thumbs up.
"I will, Mom." And with that, Ori turned around and walked to the subway so she could get to Todai.
Ori was standing in front of the front gate to Todai, but the exam wasn't what was on her mind. It was back to Kira. The killings hadn't stopped, but that had changed. After L told Kira he knew they were a student, the killings changed to be once an hour, all day, every day and he focused solely on the Kanto region of Japan. It was as if Kira was saying: "So what if you're right?" It had sent chills racing down Ori's spine.
'Could Raito be that arrogant? It didn't seem possible. He's normally so calm and kind, so it's hard to believe he could act like that, but everyone's different from how they appear to be.'
Ori was so lost in thought, she hardly even recognized the people walking around her until some spoke.
"There's no need to be so nervous." It was a flat and monotone voice that made Ori jump slightly in surprise. She turned around to see a man who looked to be just a few years older than her. He had long and shaggy black hair that hung low over his equally black eyes. Dark circles were etched deeply under his eyes. His complexion was almost as pale as the baggy white long-sleeved shirt he was wearing. He was lanky and his blue jeans barely stuck to his hips. Ori hoped he was wearing a belt. His feet were jammed into a dirty pair of sneakers with his heels hanging out. He was dressed very casually despite the school's wishes of formality. Ori found it refreshing.
"Excuse me?" Ori asked, at last, unsure if he really had been talking to her.
"I said that there's no need to be nervous. That is why you're standing there, not moving, right?" His back was hooked into a slouch. He was already taller than her, but Ori knew he would be much taller if he were to straighten his posture.
"Oh, y-yeah." Ori tried to muster up a smile, but it fell short into a grimace. She was about to turn and walk away, suddenly feeling awkward, when the man started walking first. His strides were wide but lazy. He looked back at Ori, who was watching him walk. She found him interesting, and the way he spoke was familiar. She fiddled with a bracelet that was wrapped around her wrist. It was a simple leather band braided into a silver plaque where the word Magna was inscribed in cursive. It was Latin, meaning be great. Vivian had given it to Ori when she turned five, as a tribute to her namesake. Normally, she didn't pay very much attention to it, but as she saw the raven-haired man watch her, she thought the bracelet would give her some comfort. It was like he was analyzing her. Not in a pervy way, but something more scientific. Almost like a detective.
"You sounded unsure, just now." He said. It seemed like forever between his greeting and the words he had just spoken. Ori was able to unstick her feet from the ground and walk forward a few steps. She walked passed him and he followed.
"I am nervous, but that wasn't exactly what I was thinking about."
"Then what were you thinking about?" He gazed at her with an expression somewhere between interest and boredom. He almost looked like a panda.
"Why should I tell you? We've never met before and I don't even know your name." Ori squinted her eyes at him. He nodded absentmindedly. His hand went to his pocket where he pulled out a lollipop.
"My name is Hideki Ryuga. It's a pleasure to meet you." He jammed his hands back into his pockets, so Ori figured that trying to shake his hand would be fruitless.
"I'm Nanase Ori." She smiled, and she instantly knew that it was a weak one.
"Now that we're not strangers, what were you thinking about?"
"Why do you want to know?" She raised an eyebrow and found herself smirking.
"I'm a curious person."
"Curiosity killed the cat." Ori ran a hand over her bracelet again. Ryuga hummed as he played with the lollipop stick.
"Well then, it's a good thing I'm a human." He said plainly. A laugh burst passed Ori's lips. "That's a good point." The past few days had been so stressful that Ori reveled in the feeling of being able to laugh without having to force it out.
"I was thinking about the Kira murders," Ori said. She stared ahead of her and saw Raito walking far ahead. Her eyes locked on him accidentally.
"Is that so?" He asked. He really did sound bored and uninterested. Ori was trying not to feeling awkward as an uncomfortable silence settled over them. She cracked her knuckles and unconsciously quickened her pace a little. She felt bad once she realized what she was doing, but Ryuga's expression remained blank. She felt as if there was something off about him. She had a sneaking suspicion that his name wasn't really Hideki Ryuga, but with his blank face and monotone voice, it was hard to tell. His eyes remained on her when he introduced himself and his breathing was slow and steady. Without those little changes, it was practically impossible to tell whether or not he was lying. She could only go off her instincts.
Ori suspected that people would be giving her strange looks about her attire. While everyone else had been wearing fancy slacks, skirts, dresses, and dress shirt, Ori had been clad in a pair of black ripped jeans, a white shirt, and a blue and black plaid shirt. Her black leather boots tapped against the cement floor. Her brown bangs fall into her eyes and she pushed them away with a soft sigh. Ori hadn't gotten very much sleep the last few days, and she hadn't fallen asleep at all the night before. She had basically put her clothes on before diving into the Kira murders until the sun came up. It wasn't uncommon for Ori to stay up late into the night, but ever since Kira came into the light, she had been staying up later and later. With the sleepless nights adding up, Ori's patience was becoming thinner. At least, she was able to act normal around Vivian and everyone else. Sometimes Ori wondered if that made her a sociopath: being able to hide her feelings from other people and pretend that everything was fine, but then she would remember that people did it all the time. She had nothing to worry about. However, Ori suspected that Raito would question why she was avoiding him, even though it was the last thing she wanted him to ask her. She couldn't tell him that every time she saw his face, those fears of him being Kira lurched into her mind like the waves of the ocean crashing into the sandy beach. It was like those waves were slamming down on her with each and every glance at his face, pulling her deeper into the horrible sea of doubt and suspicion. With each sleepless night, she found more and more similarities between Kira and Raito. She couldn't stop overlapping the two. But every time the thoughts pulled her into the merciless and churning currents, she pushed back to the shore. No way could Raito be Kira. He was kind and smart. He was patient and he was Ori's friend. He wouldn't kill so many when he knew that she wanted to be a detective. With a new resolve steeled into her soul, Ori ran forward to catch up with Raito. She ignored every alarm bell that went off in her mind and called out to him. He turned around, looking mildly surprised at her sudden appearance.
"Ori, how are you?" He asked after a moment. Ori smiled up at him, giving a strong thumbs up. "I'm raring and ready to go!" She cheered happily. Raito chuckled, but then his expression turned serious.
"Hey, Ori? How come you've been avoiding me?" Ori forced herself to remain calm. He had asked the one question she didn't want him to ask. She made an act of turning away sheepishly and began to fiddle with her bracelet.
"I haven't been getting a whole lot of sleep the last few days. I've been searching for everything I could to figure out who Kira is, and last night I even pulled an all-nighter." She rubbed the back of her neck as she turned back to him.
"I'm tired and my patience is getting slim, so I didn't want to snap at you or anything like that for something that wasn't your fault." His furrowed brows relaxed and a sympathetic smile appeared on his face.
"Just make sure you get enough sleep, all right?" He said. Those alarm bells in Ori's mind went silent at his kind expression. How could a killer look like that? How could a killer look so worried and wanted to make sure a friend was ok? Relief flooded through her circulation system. She nodded once and they walked the rest of the way inside in a comfortable silence aside from the breeze shaking the trees and ripping the leaves away from them.
"So how do you think you'll do?" Ori asked once they reached the double doors.
"I'm sure I'll be able to pass with a fairly good score, and I know that you'll do really good too." And with that, they were both given numbers and were rushed off to their separate desks to take the test. Ori sat down in her seat and the exam soon began. The only sound was the scratching of pencils on the paper. The spectator walked down the aisle. He was silent until he passed Ori, then his voice suddenly broke through the silence.
"Student One-Six-Two, sit properly in your chair!" Ori looked back as curiosity gripped her. When her head turned to see Ryuga sitting with his chair tipped back and his feet propped up on the desk. His knees were pulled up against his chest, and his eyes were gazing intently at Raito. Ori felt a laugh build up in her chest, and she had to clap her hand over her mouth as to not make any noise. She swiftly turned back so she wouldn't disturb anyone by laughing harder. She had her own test to worry about. She had to pass, for Vivian. She believed in Ori; the last thing she wanted to do was let her down. She gripped her pencil harder and attacked the questions with everything she had.
The spectator called for the exam to end and Ori leaned back, exhausted and hand aching. Her brain had never felt so fried in her entire life. Raito walked up to her, a slight smile on his face.
"How do you feel, Ori?" He asked. She said nothing, instead opting for a tired groan and letting her head fall on the table. He chuckled and briefly patted her head.
"I'm sure you did well. Did you have problems with the math portion?"
"Not as many as I thought I would. Your explanations were really helpful." She stood up, stretching her legs out. "Now we just have to wait until we get the emails telling us whether or not we're smart enough to get in." She joked. Punching Raito's shoulder, she said, "No doubt you're smart enough."
He brushed her off and headed to the door. "Whatever, let's go get something to eat." Ori jogged after him. "Only if you're the one paying."
"Why do I always have to pay?"
"Because free stuff always tastes better."
"That's just a poor excuse for being cheap."
"I'm telling the truth!"
"I wouldn't know since you keep making me pay." Ori ignored him and went on about what she wanted for lunch. BLTs were her favorite, but she wanted some variety. When she asked Raito for his opinion, he just grumbled and said that he didn't care. Once they made it to the café, Ori settled on her BLT and a mint milkshake and Raito got a cup of coffee.
'Basic.' Ori thought in annoyance. She'd never seen him eat anything sweet, not even the cake Mrs. Yagami had made for Sayu's birthday two weeks ago. Ori wondered what it would take for him to eat a cupcake or something.
At last, their food came, and Ori instantly began to practically inhale her sandwich. Raito watched her in disgust as she ripped a piece of bacon that hung from her mouth. Ori's appetite had always been on the bigger side, and the fact that Raito still hadn't gotten used to it was hilarious. Ori placed her sandwich down, which was over half-eaten, and breathed out a happy sigh.
"I'm never going to be able to adapt to you eating like that," Raito said as he neatly sipped his coffee. Ori laughed and took a drink of her milkshake. This was a relief: to be able to sit and eat like this, to joke around like this. It was like the whole Kira murders weren't really happening. Like there was a whole other world outside the café.
But that wasn't realistic. The murders were happening, and the world outside was the same one on the inside.
"Hey, Raito..." Ori started. He looked at her with mild annoyance but didn't correct her. He made a noise to signify that he had heard her.
"Why do you think Kira's killing now? Why start now and not sooner?" He seemed taken aback by her question, widening his eyes ever so slightly.
"I'm not sure. Maybe he just got the power to kill." Ori looked out the window at the passing people and cars. She rested her head against her palm and tapped her cheek with her pinkie.
"Power, you say..." she said quietly. "That makes sense, but what gave Kira the power to kill? And why did they do it? Was whatever gave Kira their power bored? That's normally how it goes in the mangas. And how did Kira get this power? Was it pure coincidence? Did Kira just happen to stumble across this power, or was it deliberately given to them?" She flicked her eyes to Raito without moving her head. His expression was unreadable, but the small bead of sweat sliding down his neck didn't go unnoticed. Letting out an exasperated sigh, she turned her head back to him and looked at the ceiling.
"Those are the questions that have been running through my head the last few days. It's so frustrating!" She took another bite of her sandwich. The taste was blander than before, like her mood was affecting her tastebuds.
"I'm sure you'll figure it out, Ori."
"Yeah... hopefully." His words were optimistic, but Ori's pessimistic thoughts had already taken root in her mind. What if she wasn't smart enough to figure out who Kira was? She was barely even a college student, just a kid, and she was trying to solve a murder case where there were no leads, no suspects, and no evidence. It was exhausting. Ori was sure that she would drop at any second. Her eyelids felt heavier than usual. Between the late nights of looking for Kira, the stress of the entrance exams, studying for the entrance exams, and taking the entrance exams, Ori's whole body felt like it was made of lead.
"When was the last time you actually got a good night's rest?" Raito's voice broke through her mini pity-party. His eyes bore into hers, glancing down at the dark circles under her eyes.
"What year is it?" She asked after a second. Raito sighed as he put his empty coffee cup down.
"If you don't get enough sleep soon, your body will shut down and you won't be able to catch Kira. You need to actually take care of yourself." His voice had switched to the condescending one he reserved for Ori. The tone that grated her ears and made her want to dump her milkshake on his head.
"Whatever, Dad." She mocked. She shoved the remaining bite of her sandwich in her mouth and finished off her drink. Ori reached into her pocket and tossed ten-thousand yen at Raito.
"Here's for the sandwich and drink. I'll see you later." She stood up and walked out the café. The bright sun made her wince and pinch the bridge of her nose.
"This whole week's got me using my brain too much." She complained to herself.
"I find that using your brain burns calories, so I wouldn't say it's a bad thing." A familiar voice made Ori turned her head. Just a few feet away, Ryuga was curled up on a chair outside the café window.
"Ryuga... right?" It felt wrong saying it. The feeling that it wasn't his real name grew in her stomach.
"Correct, Ms. Nanase." His wide eyes were on her. His Japanese was perfect, but he didn't look like he was from Japan. His eyes were too wide and his skin tone was far too pale. He gave off a European vibe, but Ori didn't say anything about it. It sounded rude to ask no matter how she rephrased it in her head.
"No need to be so formal. Ori's just fine." She fought off a young as she spoke.
"All right then, Ori. Earlier you said that you were thinking about Kira," Ori's eyes widened in surprise. She didn't think that he would remember that.
She chuckled weakly. "You remember that?"
"Yes. I have a perfect memory, so that helped." His flat voice would've been funny if his eyes hadn't been locked on her the entire time.
"I suppose that it would," Ori said. Talking to him was soothing. His monotonous voice was soft and helped her relax, but it also made her even more tired. She took a seat across from him.
"I was trying to figure out how Kira thinks what they're doing is right." Her body slumped into the chair the moment she sat down. She liked the way he sat: all curled up, but it was also like he was curling in on himself. Like he was trying to protect himself from something.
"Yes, that's been on my mind as well. After all, he is a mass murderer." He pressed a thumb to his lower lip in thought.
"A mass murderer is what we would call them, but other people definitely see Kira as a hero of sorts. Just the other day, I got a phone call from someone asking me if I knew that Kira was the savior of this hell we call Earth."
"It's strange that people would call Kira a savior, seeing as many of prisoners are often wrongfully convicted." The setting sun cast a red glow on the café beside them. Ryuga's black hair turned to a dull fiery color in the light. Ori was glad that her back was to the sun. It certainly saved her from hurt eyes.
"I wouldn't call it strange, necessarily. Imagine that your whole family was murdered. Sure they could catch the one who did it, but why should they get to live when innocent people were robbed of that choice? It's not like putting the killer behind bars will get rid of the fact that they killed the ones who raised you. You'll never get to see them again, never get to hear their voices, see their laughs, feel their arms around you. Everything that was normal, is now abnormal and impossible." Ori thought of her dad. The morning he vanished, the morning she never saw him again, he had kissed her head, whispered that he loved her, and told her to stay out of trouble. Then he went to Vivian, kissed her, and walked out the door. She remembered how the morning sunlight silhouetted his strong form as he walked out the door. Ori forced down her gross feelings and went on.
"Then they die of a heart attack. You might think 'well finally, the bastard got what they deserved' and think of it as nothing more than a nice coincidence, then more criminals die of heart attacks, and more and more. Anyone would realize that these weren't accidents, that's why Kira's been using the same method of killing. They want people to acknowledge their presence and power. You realize that someone is passing judgment on criminals. Someone finally made right the wrong that motherfu-- that killer committed by taking your family away from you." Ori was rambling now, but she was almost done.
"The criminal dying won't bring your loved ones back, but it will avenge them." Ori could see Raito through the window. He was drinking another cup of coffee. She tapped her chin with her forefinger.
"Though, now that I think about it... it seems more like it's about evening out the score. An eye for an eye." Ryuga's intent gaze hadn't faltered at all during her little speech, which only made her more nervous and irritable. Why wasn't he saying anything? Did he think she was being stupid? She might as well have said what Kira was doing was right.
"Don't get me wrong, I hate what Kira's doing. Killing criminals may have lowered the crime rate, but they're doing it by means of fear and consequence. A good leader rules with an iron fist, yeah, but they also respect their citizens and lead them justly, not through fear and intimidation. People are going to be afraid to do anything at some point, and when that time comes, they'll revolt. Kira will probably get rid of the ones who speak out against them, and when that happens, more people go against him, the brave or stupid ones, that is. My guess is, Kira will have no one to rule over if he succeeds. It may take a while, I'm not sure how long, but they'll have no one to tell what to do, and what will he do then?" A breeze pulled at Ori's long locks. Her bangs were sent into her eyes and she brushed them away.
"That's an interesting perspective. You seem to understand both sides very well." His dull tone held a small tinge of awe.
"Let's just say that I know what it's like to lose a loved one." Ori chuckled dryly. She stood up from her seat. Vivian would be wondering where she was, solely because she wanted to know how Ori did, even when Ori didn't know how well she did.
"I should get going. It was nice talking to you, Ryuga. Maybe I'll see you around campus once the scores for the entrance exam come out." She waved to him and he nodded shortly in her direction.
"Goodbye, Ori." Seriously, where had she heard his voice before? It was so familiar that it was driving Ori up the wall. Maybe she just needed some sleep. The lack of it was making her crazy.
"Hey, Mom. I'm back." Ori closed the door behind her and Vivian came rushing into the entryway, and she looked furious.
"Ori, where have you been?" She had a hand on one hip and wooden spoon in the other.
'I hope she doesn't hit me with it for not only being late, but I never texted her to tell her I'd be home late.'
"I'm sorry, Mom. I had a late lunch with Raito and ran into someone I met earlier today. I should've texted you. I'm sorry; it won't happen again." Ori pushed her shoes off with the toes of her other foot. Vivian huffed and pulled Ori into a hug.
"You really worried me. All this Kira business has got me scared for you. I know you're not a criminal, but I know you want to catch Kira. I can't say I approve, but as long as you do this anonymously, I can deal with it." Vivian pulled away. There were tears prickling at the sides of her blue-green eyes. They were dark with fear and anxiety. Ori wanted to tell Vivian that she would stop, that she would throw away all her notes to put her at ease, but she couldn't do that. She had to keep going.
"I'll be ok, Mom. All I'm doing is research, it's not like I'm going out interrogating people." She forced out a laugh. Hopefully, it would help Vivian to calm down.
"I wouldn't put it past you." Vivian poked Ori in the stomach then walked back into the kitchen. Ori went up the stairs to her room, for once not really hungry. Her body had forgotten all feelings of drowsiness as she was filled with new determination. Sleep could wait, Vivian was scared, that was reason enough to not stop.
'Mom, I'll make sure you feel safe again.'