Kyrie is the first person who could look at my eyes and smile sincerely. At first, I thought that maybe this friendly person does not know who I am. After all, people do come close to me but leave whenever they discover who I am as if they were foolishly playing too near a monster's den.
However, this person did not even flinch when he got to know that I carried a curse. His eyes looked at me the same way. I racked my brains to find out what could be his objective, but I don't have anything to give him.
Kyrie is a paladin with incredible talent, background, and an unexpected work ethic. Sometimes, I feel like he is rushing to become stronger as if he is fighting against the world. But again, he might need to get strong because he is Vita's paladin. He has a duty to protect the world.
Kyrie also has an unexpected side.
He is extremely affectionate towards me but would put a clear boundary with others. He arms himself with a facade of politeness that everyone likes and would never go beyond as to getting involve too close emotionally to others. His senses are always alert.
However, whenever he is with me, he is entirely in the open. One or two sneak attacks would go through.
He wimps whenever I push his affection away like a child. Sometimes, he would go as far as to tease me in ways that jolt my heart. At first, his touch would register in my body as pain - like electrocutions on my skin. My body twitches and contorts as if it met with electricity every time he would touch me.
However, I could register from his eyes that my reactions are pleasurable to him. His eyes are different from that woman's even though they exhibited pleasure. Yet, he never went overboard, but he likes getting a reaction out of me. He would just smile and chuckle at it.
Despite how foreign this feels, I couldn't bring myself to move away. I understood this feeling that he sends off: an intense longing. I wonder if I am a replacement for the reason for his longing like the maid who saw me as her dead son.
Still, I chose not to move away because he became the object of my own longing - a selfish wish to be wanted. More than ever, loneliness eats me.
Kyrie has shown me that I have many different emotions, although I cannot allocate names to them. I have never felt them before, so I would just go where my heart leads me.
He got angry at me when I suggested that I wanted to be brothers with him. I could not understand why he does not want to be my brother.
After all, I wish to be more than just a friend. Friends, from what I have seen, are a term that people use as an excuse to use others without being plagued by a sense of guilt. They show themselves as being good with each other but would backstab if they can gain more, just like that butler who extorted from me in the name of helping a friend or like those nobles in the fancy banquets.
Weakness became a subject that stings every time I noticed it in myself, more specifically, the weakness that comes from emotions. However, Kyrie changed that for me. I never knew that there are emotions that could make someone happy. So, was I wrong all this time?
As days pass, I notice that Kyrie has become irreplaceable. I mocked myself for returning to being dependent on someone. I thought that I would never become like that once I escaped the grips of Queen Silva.
However, my eyes began to follow him wherever he goes.
When I saw him kiss Lady Larson's hand, I felt a violent rush in my body: my body started to tremble, and uncontrollable anger surged inside. I got scared of this sudden reaction in my body, so I ran away. The thought of Kyrie being so close to someone else, made my chest feel a crushing weight.
I did not like it despite the fact that I knew Kyrie would eventually have to get engaged, marry, and secure his descendants. I spoke to him like I was understanding and natural. Lady Larson is a good candidate and a nice lady.
However, when he explained to me and went as far as to kiss my hand, despite being a man, it made my doubts vanish. What is this? Can someone tell me?
Kyrie, just who are you to me?