Sil.
Sil was an important person to me.
After my memory loss, he was all I had.
At first, I thought that the interrogations from those men in suits were frightening and annoying, but when Sil took the job, I felt happy to have him at least some days in a month. In the orphanage where everyone was afraid to get into contact with me, I felt so lonely that it was agonizing.
Everyone's frightened stares hurt me. However, Sil was different. He treated me kindly, and I saw him as my only friend. We would sometimes talk for hours during his visits, and laugh at insignificant stuff. Time passed less agonizing because I felt not lonely anymore.
Was it a rainy day that our relationship changed?
I think it was because I forgot my umbrella. I became independent once I turned eighteen.
That day, I was working the last shift in the convenience store. Since it was raining the entire day, there was not a lot of clients, and my boss left for the day to get his daughter off preschool and his wife off work. I thought it was nice because after tidying up the store, I had enough time to read the new chapters from my favorite novel.
It was a shame that Moon Fairy would not hold events or even create a social media account. I would love to meet her.
The rain slashes on my clothes as I quickly slide down the metal rolling door. Then, I pulled it up to make sure that it is closed. I agonized a little bit before I ran towards the bus station. When I gathered my momentum, I held the straps of my backpack and ran towards the bus station.
"Kyrie!"
I stopped in the rain after someone called my name. I looked around and found Sil running towards me with his umbrella. However, he slides and falls on his back.
"Sil, why are you running?"
"Hahaha, but you were running too! Ouch..."
I drove him to his house.
"I wanted to drive you back, but I end up being driven back," Sil sighs as Kyrie takes him to his bedroom.
Sil was just right out of high school when he met me in his first job.
We got along well despite the fact that his job is to question me about my dead father's whistleblowing documents. I felt it was pointless because of my memory loss, but I would hate for Sil to stop coming.
After nine years, I would have already forgotten my old man's face and how he is like. However, I did forget everything after my mother's death.
Although Sil still has the same job to ask me a couple of times in a month, he also got promoted to a manager position not long ago. Asking me is more like a side job that the higher-ups, for some reason, would not give up on.
We have known each other for six years now.
"You are getting old, Sil!"
"Don't curse a twenty-eight year old like that! I am still young, you know."
"Hahaha!"
Sil sits back down on his desk chair.
"Do you have cold packs?" I asked.
"Yeah, they might be in the fridge."
When I entered back into the room, Sil was changing back his clothes and gave me a sweater and pants. He took the cold pack, lay down on his bed, and placed it awkwardly on his back. I went over to help him put it correctly.
"You should change, or else you will catch a cold," says Sil.
"Will do." I went to change into his clothes, but they were all too big for me. Sil is indeed more muscular with a bigger frame than me. I look so scrawny in comparison.
"Sil, are you hungry? I am starving!" I entered back to his room. However, Sil fell asleep, breathing deeply despite he is sleeping upside down.
"What is this? Hehe... Didn't he tell me that he had trouble sleeping usually?" I murmured, "Let's see what he has... Then I will wake him up to eat."
While I was doing my finishing touches for dinner, the bedroom door opened.
"Sil? Food is almost ready."
Sil did not respond and walked towards me.
"Sil?" I turned back, shocked.
Sil's arms were wrapped around me, and his lips were on my neck.
"Kyrie... I... I think I am in love with you."
Without warning, his lips met mine. I was so shocked that my reflexes pushed him back. I took my backpack and ran away that night.
I ran so fast that I did not care that my shoes got wet from running on the flooded streets or that the rainwater was splashing to the pants that were awkwardly too long for me.
When I got into my apartment, I slide down against the front door. I was shaking and confused. The Sil that I saw was not the Sil that I used to know. Much more than that, it was foreign to me that a man can fall for another man.
For the next couple of days, I tried to avoid Sil as much as I could. However, I couldn't bear to see him lose his job, so I finally conceded and met him at a coffee shop. When I entered the coffee shop, he was already waiting for me next to a window at a corner.
When I sat down, he pushed the drink that he ordered for me. I looked at him and saw his apologetic expression. He looked like a pitiful neglected puppy. Although this was a common sight whenever I get into a fight with him, the confession was still on the back of my mind.
"I don't remember anything in particular about my old man, so let's cut this meeting short," I said with a cold voice that I was surprised even myself.
"Kyrie, I lost control. I am sorry. When I saw you in the kitchen, for some reason, I thought I had a chance. I know that you are normal, but I..." says Sil with a hesitation that I have never seen before.
He does sound that he wants to mend back the relationship, but also knows that he went too far; far enough that any relationship like ours would just have broken apart. This was the second most awkward conversation I have with Sil. The first one was when he was assigned to the job and met me for the first time when I was twelve.
The chills didn't stop when I thought that we have already known each other for six years.
I asked, "When did it start?" I really thought that if he said for a long time, I would not see him ever again.
Sil was surprised when I asked the question and was willing to listen to his answer.
He responded, "Couple of months ago around the beginning of spring."
I looked outside to see the blazing sun and the green trees. He must have liked me for around half a year now.
"I will be frank with you, Sil, since we have known each other for such a long time. I don't really share that kind of feeling towards you. Plus, I am a man."
"But you like Ian, don't you?" says Sil.
"It's different, Sil. He is fictional."
"But he is still a man," says Sil with a wounded voice.
I couldn't say anything back to him when he says it like that. I do really like that character of my novel a bit too much, and he knows that I talk about Ian a lot in our free time. I was not even sure if I actually swing that way.
"Give me a chance, Kyrie. I will show you that you can have feelings for me too. Kyrie, I know I went over the line, but the last thing I want to do is to harm you. I also know that I cannot look at you the same way as before ever again. I tried. I tried for months, but it did not work. Instead, what happened is that my feelings grew so strong that I couldn't control them at the end."