Cruella: Oh, well, they're not taking my Carlos, because I'd miss him too much.
Carlos: Really, mom? You mean it?
Cruella: Yes. Who would touch up my roots, fluff my fur, and scrape the bunions off my feet?
Carlos: Yeah, maybe a new school wouldn't be the worst thing.
Cruella: Oh, Carlos, they have dogs in Auradon.
Carlos: Oh, no! I'm not going!
Maleficent:[grunts]
Jafar:Well, Jay isn't going either. I need him to stock the shelves in my store. What did you score? Oh. Ooh. A lamp.
Jay:Dad. I already tried.
Jafar:Ah!
EvilQueen:Evie's not going anywhere until we get rid of this unibrow, hmm?
Maleficent:What is wrong with you all? People used to cower at the mention of our names! For 20 years, I have searched for a way off this island. For 20 years, they have robbed us from our revenge... revenge on Snow White and her horrible little men.
Evil Queen:Ow!
Maleficent:Revenge on Aladdin and his bloated genie!Jafar:I will...
Jay:Pop!
Maleficent:Revenge on every sneaky dalmatian that escaped your clutches.
Cruella:Oh, but they didn't get baby. They didn't get the... They didn't get the baby!
Maleficent:And I, Maleficent...The evilest of them all, I will finally have my revenge on sleeping beauty and her relentless little prince. Villains!
Evil Queen:Yes.
Jafar:Yes?
Maleficent:Our day has come. E.Q., give her the magic mirror.
Evil Queen:Yeah.
Evie:This is your magic mirror?
Evil Queen:Yeah, well, it ain't what it used to be, but then again, neither are we! It will help you find things.
Evie:Like a prince?
Evil Queen:Like my waistline.
Maleficent:Like the magic wand! Hello!
EvilQueen:Hello.
Maleficent:My spell book. My book. I need my... that book. Oh, ah! The safe. The safe. Queen, help me! I never can figure this thing out.
Evil Queen:Voila.
Maleficent:My spell... come, darling. Come. Oh... ooh! Oh, Oh. There she is. It doesn't work here, but it will in Auradon. Remember? When we were spreading evil and ruining lives.
Evil Queen:Like it was yesterday.
Maleficent:And now you will be making your own memories by doing exactly as I tell you. Door.
Evil Queen:Oh.
Jay:Whoo! Let's get this party started!
Cruella:Carlos! Come.
Evil Queen:Who is the fairest of them all?
Evie:Me.
Evil Queen:Ah! You. Yes! Let's go.
Jafar:Now, recite our mantra.
Jay:There's no team in "I".
Jafar:Oh, run along. You're making me tear up.
Jay:My bag.
Jafar:Yeah.
Jay:Dad!
Jafar:Coming!
Maleficent:The future of the free world rests on your shoulders. Don't blow it. Mal!
Evil Queen:Ah! Smells like common folk.
Cruella:Come back here, now! Carlos! Ingrate.
Jafar:Bye-bye.
Man:The jackals have landed.
Jafar:Bring home the gold!
Cruella:Bring home a puppy.
EvilQueen:Bring home a prince.
Evie:You're looking a little washed out. Let me help you out.
Mal:Ew, stop. I'm plotting.
Evie:Well, It's not very attractive.
Carlos:Oh! These! It's salty like nuts, but it's sweet like I don't know what.
Jay:Let me see. Ew!
Carlos:Ow!
Evie:Look!
Carlos:It's a trap! What just happened?
Evie:It must be magic.
Lillth: When did the bridge appear. Wasn't there just no bridge.
Mal: Hey. Did this little button just open up the magic barrier?
Man: No, this one opens the magic barrier. That one opens my garage. And this button...
Mal:Okay. Nasty. I like that guy.
Carlos:Oh! Ah! Ow! Stop! You got everything else! Why do you want whatever this is?
Jay:'Cause you want it!
Carlos:No! Give it to me! Ow! Let go!
Lillth:Guys, guys, guys! We have an audience.
Jay:Just cleaning up. Get up.
Fairy Godmother:Leave it like you found it! And by that, I mean just leave it.
Jay:Hello, foxy. The name's Jay.
Fairy Godmother:Welcome to Auradon prep. I'm fairy godmother, headmistress.
Mal: The fairy godmother? As in, "Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo"?
Fairy Godmother:Bibbidi-bobbidi. You know it.
Mal:Yeah, I always wondered what it felt like for Cinderella when you just appeared, out of nowhere, with that sparkly wand and warm smile.
Fairy Godmother:Oh.
Mal:And that sparkling wand.
Fairy Godmother:That was a long time ago. And as I always say, "don't focus on the past or You'll miss the future."
Ben:It's so good to finally meet you all. I'm Ben.
Audrey:Prince Benjamin. Soon to be king.
Evie:You had me at prince. My mom's a queen, which makes me a princess.
Audrey:The evil queen has no royal status here and neither do you.
Ben:This is Audrey.
Audrey: Princess Audrey. His girlfriend. Right, Bennyboo?
Fairy Godmother:Ben and Audrey are going to show you all around, and I'll see you tomorrow. The doors of wisdom are never shut. But the library hours are from 8:00 to 11:00. And as you may have heard, I have a little thing about curfews.
Ben:It is so, so, so good to finally me... meet you all. This is a momentous occasion, and one that I hope will go down in history... Is that chocolate? As the day our two peoples began to heal.
LillthOr the day that you showed five peoples where the bathrooms are.
Ben:A little bit over the top?
Lillth:A little more than a little bit.
Ben:Well, so much for my first impression.
Audrey:Hey! You're Maleficent's daughter, aren't you? Yeah, you know what? I totally do not blame you for your mother trying to kill my parents and stuff. Oh, my mom's Aurora. Sleeping...
Mal:Beauty! Yeah, I've heard the name. You know, and I totally do not blame your grandparents for inviting everyone in the whole world but my mother to their christening.
Audrey:Water under the bridge.
Mal:Totes!
Ben:Okay! So, how about a tour? Yeah? Auradon prep, originally built over 300 years ago and converted into a high school by my father when he became king. Carlos, It's okay. My father wanted his statue to morph from beast to man to remind us that anything is possible.
Mal:Does he shed much?
Ben:Yeah, mom won't let him on the couch.
Mal:So you guys have a lot of magic here in Auradon? Like wands and things like that?
Ben:Yeah, it exists of course, but It's pretty much retired. Most of us here are just ordinary mortals.
Mal:Who happened to be kings and queens.
Audrey:That's true. Our royal blood goes back hundreds of years.
Ben:Doug. Doug, come down. This is Doug. He's going to help you with your class schedules and show you the rest of the dorms. I'll see you later, okay? And If there is anything you need, feel free to...
Audrey:Ask Doug.
Doug:Hi, guys. I'm Dopey's son. As in Dopey, Doc, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, and... Heigh-ho.
Evie:Evie. Evil queen's daughter.
Doug:Okay. So about your classes, I, uh, put in the requirements already... history of woodsmen and pirates, safety rules for the Internet, and, uh, remedial goodness 101.
Mal:Let me guess. New class? Come on, guys, let's go find our dorms.
Doug:Oh, uh, yeah, your dorms are that way, guys. Dopey, Doc, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, and...
Carlos:Sneezy.
Evie:Wow. This place is so amaz...
Mal:Gross.
Evie:I know, right? Amazingly gross
Mal:Ew. Ugh! I'm going to need some serious sunscreen.
Evie:Yeah.
Mal:E, L. Whew! That is much better.
Carlos:Whoo! Whoa! Ah! Whoa!
Mal:Jay, what are you doing?
Jay:It's called stealing.
Mal:Okay, what's the point?
Jay:Well, Mal, It's like buying whatever I want, except It's free.
Mal:Okay. So, you could do that, or you could leave all of this here and pick it up when we take over the world.
Evie:You sound just like your mom.
Mal:Thank you.
Jay:You do it your way and I'll do it mine.
Carlos:Die, suckers! Jay, come check this thing out. Man, It's awesome.
Mal:Guys! Do I have to remind you what we're all here for?
Jay:Fairy Godmother, blah, blah, blah. Magic wand, blah, blah, blah.
Mal:This is our one chance to prove ourselves to our parents. To prove that we are evil and vicious and ruthless and cruel. Yeah?
All:Yeah.
Mal:Evie, mirror me.
Evie:Mirror, mirror on the... in my hand, where is fairy godmother's wand... stand?
Mal:There it is!
Carlos:Zoom out.
Evie:Magic mirror, not so close. Closer. Closer. Closer.
Carlos:Can I go back to my game? I'm on level three.
Mal:Stop! It's in a museum. Do we know where that is?
Carlos:2.3 Miles from here.
Lillth:Come on. Carlos!
Carlos:Coming!
The Museum of Cultural History
Mal:Come on. Check your mirror.
Evie:Is my mascara smudged?
Mal:Yeah. And, hey, while you're at it, why don't you see If you can find us the wand?
Evie:Sure. This way.
Jay:That's your mother's spinning wheel?
Carlos:Yeah, It's kinda dorky.
Mal:It's magic. It doesn't have to look scary. "Magic spindle, do not linger. Make my victim prick a finger."
Jay:Impressive.
Carlos:I got chills.
Mal:Okay, you know what? "Prick the finger, prick it deep. Send my enemy off to sleep."
Man:Ooh!
Mal:Not so dorky now, huh?
Jay:Stand back.
Mal:"Make it easy, make it quick, open up without a kick."
Jay:Ahh!
Lillth:Coming?
Carlos:Come on, Jay.
Jay:I'm good.
Carlos:Just trying to help.
Mal:Shh. Carlos!
Carlos:Coming.
Evie:So close. Upstairs.
Mal:Come on. Go, go, go, go. Up, up, up, up, up.
Evie:Come on, guys. Almost there.
Evie:Mommy?
Jay:Killer.
Carlos:I will never forget mother's day again.
Jay:Well, the wand's not here. Let's bounce. Let's go.
Maleficent:The future of the free world rests on your shoulders. Don't blow it.
Mal♫ Look at you, look at me ♫
♫ I don't know who to be ♫ ♫ Mother ♫ ♫ Is it wrong? Is it right? ♫ ♫ Be a thief in the night ♫ ♫ Mother ♫ ♫ Tell me what to do... ♫
Evie:Mal. Come on.
Maleficent:Don't be so serious, darling. I'm sorry.
♫ I was once like you my child, slightly insecure ♫
♫ Argued with my mother too thought I was mature ♫
♫ But I put my heart aside, and I used my head ♫
♫ Now I think it's time you learned what dear old momma said ♫
♫ Don't you wanna be evil like me? ♫
♫ Don't you wanna be mean? ♫
♫ Don't you wanna make mischief your daily routine? ♫
♫ Well you can spend your life attending to the poor ♫
♫ But when you're evil doing less is doing more ♫ ♫ Don't you wanna be ruthless and rotten and mad? ♫
♫ Don't you wanna be very very good at being bad? ♫
♫ I have tried my whole life long to do the worst I can ♫
♫ Clawed my way to victory built my master plan ♫
♫ Now the time has come my dear for you to take your place ♫
♫ Promise me you'll try to be an absolute disgrace ♫
♫ Don't you wanna be evil like me don't you wanna be cruel ♫
♫ Don't you wanna be nasty and brutal and cool ♫
♫ And when you grab that wand that's when your reign begins ♫
♫ Who wants an evil queen without a sack of sin ♫
♫ Don't you wanna be heartless and hardened as stone ♫
♫ Don't you wanna be finger lickin' evil to the bone ♫
♫ This is not for us to ponder this was pre-ordained ♫
♫ You and I shall rule together freedom soon regained ♫
♫ Mistress of the universe powerful and strong ♫
♫ Daughter, hear me, help me, join me won't you sing along ♫
Both:♫ Now we're gonna be evil it's true never gonna think twice
Mal: ♫And we're gonna be spiteful.
Maleficent:♫ Yes spiteful that's nice♫
♫ In just an hour or two our futures safe and sure ♫
♫ This mother daughter act is going out on tour ♫
♫ If you wanna be evil and awful and free ♫
♫ Then you should thank your lucky stars that you were born the girl you are ♫
♫ The daughter of an evilicious queen like me ♫
Evie:Hey, I found the wand. Let's go. Here it is.
Jay:Whoo!
Mal:Jay, don't! Wait, no! No! Don't! Ah!
Carlos:A force field and a siren?
Jay:That's just a little excessive.
Mal:Let's go!
Evie:Hurry.
Mal:Come on.
Carlos:Hello? Uh, uh, just give me one second. One second. Uh, yeah, yeah. No, false alarm. It was a malfunction in the, uh, in the 714 chip in the breadboard circuit. Yeah. Okay. Say hi to the missus.
Mal:Carlos!
Carlos:You're welcome.
Lillth:Way to go,
Jay. Now we have to go to school tomorrow.
Fairy Godmother: If someone hands you a crying baby, do you, A, curse it? B, lock it in a tower? C, give it a bottle? Or D, carve out its heart? Evie.
Evie:What was the second one?
Fairy Godmother:Oh, okay. Anyone else? Lillth?
Lillth:C, give it a bottle.
Fairy Godmother:Correct. Again.
Carlos:You are on fire, girl!
Mal:Just pick the one that doesn't sound like any fun.
Carlos:Oh.
Evie:That makes so much sense.
Mal:Oh...
Fairy Godmother:Oh. Hello, dear one. Hi. You need to sign off on early dismissal for the coronation. Everyone here remembers my daughter, Jane?
Jane:Mom, no!
Fairy Godmother:It's okay. Jane, this is everyone.
Jane:Hi. That's okay, don't mind me. As you were.
Fairy Godmother:Ahem. Let's continue. You find a vial of poison. Do you, A, put it in the king's wine? B, paint it on an apple? Or C, turn it over to the proper authorities?
Carlos:Oh! Ooh... get off.
Fairy Godmother:Jay.
Jay:C. You turn it over to the proper authorities.
Carlos:I was gonna say that.
Jay:But I said it first. Come here!
Carlos:Ow!
Jay:Come on, who said it first? Who said it first?
Carlos:Ow! Stop! Ah!
Fairy Godmother:Boys. Boys! I am gonna encourage you to use that energy on the tourney field.
Carlos:Oh, no. That's okay. Whatever that is, We'll... We'll pass.
Coach Jenkins: Jay, Ben, offense. Chad, you're defense. Taylor, you're the shooter.
Taylor:Right, coach!
Coach Jenkins:Hey. Hey! Hey, you. Lost boy! Put your helmet on. Get out of the kill zone! Come on.
Carlos:Kill zone? Wha...
Coach Jenkins:Pick it up. Put it on! Two hands.
Jay:Ahh!
Carlos:Jay, It's me! It's Carlos! Wait, stop, Jay. Stop! No, no, no, no. No!
Jay:Ahh! Oh, yeah! Come on, let's go! Oh! Whoo! Whoo, whoo! Oh! Oh!People:What just happened? Who is this guy?
Coach Jenkins:You! Get over here! What do you call that? I call that raw talent. Come find me later. I'll show you something you haven't seen before. It's called a rule book. Welcome to the team, son.You ever thought about band?
Ben:I'll work with him, coach.
Coach Jenkins:All right. Let's run that again.
All:Whoo!
Jay:I'm rotten to the core.
Chad Charming:Ow.
Chad Charming:Those kids are trouble.
Evie:Bye, Mal, Bye Lilly.
Mal:Bye.
Lillth:Bye Eve.
Ben:Come on, Chad. Give them a chance.
Audrey:Oh. No offense, Bennybear, but you're just too trusting. Look, I know your mom fell in love with a big nasty beast who turned out to be a prince. But with my mom, the evil fairy was just the evil fairy. That girl's mother.
Ben:I think you're wrong about them. I'll see you later. Hey!
Mal:Hey.
Lillth: Hey.
Ben:How was your first day?
Lillth:Super.
Ben:You should really think about taking this talent off the locker and into art class. I could, uh, sign you up. What do you think?
Lillth:Way to take all the fun out of it.
Ben:Huh.
The Girls Bathroom
Mal:Hi! It's Jane, right? Ah, always loved that name. Jane.
Jane:That's cool.
Mal:Don't go! I guess I was just kind of hoping to make a friend. You probably have all the friends you need though, huh?
Jane:Hardly.
Mal:Really? I mean, with your mom being fairy godmother and headmistress? I mean, not to mention your own, um... personality.
Jane:I'd rather be pretty. You've got great hair.
Mal:You know what? I have just the thing for that. It's right... Ah, here. "Beware, forswear, replace the old with brand new hair."
Jane:Oh, ah, ah!
Mal:Wow! You almost don't notice your... Other features anymore.
Jane:Do my nose!
Mal:Oh, I can't. I've been practicing, but you know, I can't do really big magic. Not like your mom with her wand. I mean, one swoosh from that thing and you could probably have whatever features you wanted.
Jane:She doesn't use the wand anymore. She believes the real magic is in the books. And not the spell books, regular books with history and stuff.
Mal:What a rip.
Jane:Yeah.
Mal:You know, she used magic on Cinderella, who wasn't even her real daughter. Doesn't she love you?
Jane:Well, of course she does. It's... It's just, you know, tough love. "Work on the inside, not the outside." You know, that sort of thing.
Mal:That's the face! Yeah, and then just look as If your... your heart is about to break. "Oh, mother, I just don't understand why you can't make me beautiful, too."
Jane:Think it would work?
Mal:Yeah. I mean, that's what old Cindy did, right? And your mother Bibbidi-bobbidi-booed the living daylights out of her. And, hey, If your mom does decide to, you know, break out the old wand, invite me.
Jane:If I can convince mom, you're so there.
Mal:Yay.
Jane:Bye.
Mal:Bye.
The chemistry lab
Evie:Any chance he's in line for a throne? Anywhere in line?
Doug:Chad. Prince Charming, Jr. Cinderella's son. Chad inherited the charm, but not a lot of there there, know what I mean?
Evie:Looks like there there to me.
Mr. Deley: Evie. Perhaps this is just review for you. So tell me, what is the average atomic weight of silver?
Evie:Atomic weight? Uh, well, not very much. I mean, It's an atom, right? Let's see. How do I find the average atomic weight of silver? That would be 106.905 times .5200, plus 108.905 times .4800, which, Mr. Deley, would give us 107.9 am...
Doug:"Amu"?
Mr. Deley:I forget. Always a mistake to underestimate...
Evie:A villain? Don't make it again.
Tourney field
Ben:Okay. Carlos, we're gonna do some sprints. You ready?
Carlos:Oh! Ah! No, wait!
Ben:Sweet!
Carlos:No! Ah!
Ben:Carlos? Carlos!
Carlos:No, stop!
Ben:Carlos!
Carlos:Ben? Ben?
Ben:Whoa-Whoa-Whoa!
Carlos:Ben, help me! This thing is a killer! He's gonna chase me down and rip out my throat. This is a vicious, rabid pack animal!
Ben:Hey, who told you that?
Carlos:My mother.
Ben:Cruella?
Carlos:She's a dog expert. A dog yellerer. Why are you holding him? He's gonna attack you!
Ben:Carlos, you've never actually met a dog, have you?
Carlos:Of course not.
Ben:Dude, meet Carlos. Carlos, this is dude. He's the campus mutt.Carlos:He doesn't look like a vicious, rabid pack animal. Jeez. You're a good boy, aren't you? You're a good boy.Ben:I guess you guys have it pretty rough on the island.
Carlos:Yeah. Let's just say we don't get a lot of belly rubs.
Ben:Good boy. I mean, you're a good runner. You're... you're fast, you know.
Carlos:Oh. Yeah. Thank you.
Ben:Yeah. Listen, I'm gonna give you guys some space, yeah? You guys get to know each other and just, you know, come find me when you're done, okay?
Carlos:Okay.
Ben:I'll see you later.
Carlos:See you out there. Hi. Hi. Oh! Thank you.
Chad:Is everybody at home as pretty as you?
Evie:I like to think I'm the fairest of them all. How many rooms in your castle?
Chad:Oh! Too many to count. You really nailed that chemistry problem today. You're gonna have all the nerds in love with you.
Evie:I'm not that smart.
Chad:Oh, come on.
Evie:No, really, I'm not. But I'm... I'm really good at sewing and cooking and cleaning. You know, like your mother, Cinderella, without the ratty dress. See this? If I ask it where something is, it tells me.
Chad:Are you kidding me?
Evie:No.
Chad:Where's my cell phone?
Evie:It won't work for you, silly.
Chad:No biggie. My dad will just get me a new one.
Evie:Prince charming.
Chad:Yeah.
Evie:And cinderella.
Chad:Yeah.
Evie:Fairy godmother. Hey, I heard her wand is in some boring museum. Do they always leave it there?
Chad:I'd really like to talk, but... I'm just swamped. Unless...
Evie:Unless?
Chad:If you could knock all my homework out along with yours, then maybe we could get together sometime... Hang.
Evie:Okay.
Chad:Thanks, babe.
Evie:Yeah. Bye.
Doug:I couldn't help but overhear...
Evie:Are you stalking me?
Doug:Technically... yes. I, too, have a fascination with fairy godmother's wand. Which is another reason I look forward to the coronation. Perhaps we could sit next to each other and discuss its attributes.
Evie:Are you saying they use it in the coronation?
Doug:Yes. And asking you out.
Jane:Mom said, "If a boy can't see the beauty within", then he's not worth it." Can you believe it? What world does she live in?
Mal:Auradon.
Evie:Mal, do you like?Mal:Yeah. It's cute. It brings out your eyes.
Evie:I know.
Jane:I'll never get a boyfriend.
Mal:Boyfriends are overrated.
Evie:And how would you know, Mal? You've never had one.
Mal:It's 'cause I don't need one, E. They're a waste of time.
Evie:I forgot to do Chad's homework! Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no.
Mal:And that is exactly what I mean.Lonnie:Hey, guys! I'm Lonnie. My mom's Mulan? No? Anyways, I love what you've done with Jane's hair. And I know you hate us, and, well, you're evil. But do you think you could do mine?
Mal:Why would I do that for you?
Lonnie:I'll pay you 50 dollars.
Evie:Good answer. I need to buy more material. Let's see, I'm thinking, we lose the bangs, maybe some layers and some highlights.
Lonnie:Yeah, yeah. I want it cool. Like Mal and Lillian's.
Mal:Really?
Evie:The split ends, too?
Mal:Okay... "Beware, forswear, replace the old with cool hair."
Evie:I know. I know. It looks like a mop on your head. You know what? Let's cut it off, layer it...
Lonnie:No, no, no, no, no, no! I love it.
Evie:You do?
Lonnie:It's just... Now I'm cool.
Mal:Like ice.
Jane:What did I just do? Mom's gonna kill me!
The bleachers
Coach Jenkins:I could really use a tough guy like you. The team's a bunch of princes, If you know what I mean.
Jay:You're telling me. It's all, "after you, old chum." Oh, pardon me, did I bump into you?" Where I come from It's, "prepare to die, sucker!" As my father says, "the only way to win" is to make sure everyone else loses!
Coach Jenkins:Jay! Jay, Jay, Jay!
Jay:"You rip..."
Coach Jenkins:Let me explain a team. Uh, It's like a family.
Jay:You do not want to be at my house at dinner time.
Coach Jenkins:Okay, okay, um... You know how a body has a lot of different parts? The legs, elbows, ears. But they all need each other. Well, that's what a team is... different players who work together to win. Make any sense?
Jay:Can I be the fist?
Jay:Yo-ho-ho!
Carlos:Hey!
Jay:Did your plan work with Jane? Are you going over to see the wand?
Mal:Do you think that I would be going through every single spell in this book. If I hadn't completely struck out?
Jay:Oh, someone's in a bad mood.
Mal:My mom's counting on me! I can't let her down!
Jay:We can do this... If we stick together.
Mal:And we won't go back until we do. Because we're rotten...All:To the core.
Evie:Oh, yeah. I found out that fairy godmother blesses Ben with the wand at coronation and we all get to go. I have nothing to wear, of course. What?
Lillth:Hold that thought.
Ben:Hey, Lillth. I didn't see you guys today. I was just wondering If you had any questions or anything... That... you needed...
Lillth:Not that I know of.
Ben:Okay. All right. Well, uh, If you need anything, just, uh...
Lillth:Oh, wait! Um, is it true that we all get to go to your coronation?
Ben:Yeah, the whole school goes.
Lillth:Wow. That is beyond exciting. Do you think that It's a possibility that the four of us could stand in the front row next to the Fairy Godmother, just so we could soak up all that goodness?
Ben:I wish you could. Up front It's just me, my folks, and my girlfriend.
Lillth:And your girlfriend?
Ben:Yeah. I'm sorry.
Lillth:Okay. Thanks, bye.
Ben:Oh, but, no, there's plenty of...
Mal:I think It's time that Bennyboo got himself a new girlfriend. And I need a love spell.
Mal:All right. It says that we still need one tear, and I never cry.
Carlos:Let's just chop up some onions.
Mal:No. It Says that we need one tear of human sadness. And this love potion gets the best so we have to follow it exactly.
Jay:A tear's a tear.
Evie:That's not true, Jay. They both have antibodies and enzymes, but an emotional tear has more protein-based hormones than a reflex tear.
Mal:Listen to you.
Jay:Yeah, I knew that.
Carlos:Did not.
Jay:Yeah, I did.
Lonnie:There you are, Mal! I was looking for you. You know, all the girls want you to do their hair! Midnight snack, huh? What you guys making?
Mal:Nothing special. Just cookies. Oh, no, no!
Carlos:Wait, wait, wait!
Lonnie:What? I'm not gonna double dip.
Evie:Feel anything?
Mal:Yeah, like maybe it might be missing something?
Jay:Hey, there.
Lonnie:It could use some chips.
Jay:Chips?
Mal:And those are...
Lonnie:Chocolate chips. Just the most important food group. Wait, didn't your moms ever make you guys, like, chocolate chip cookies? Like, when you're feeling sad, and they're fresh from the oven, with a big old glass of milk, and she just makes you laugh and puts everything into perspective and... why are you all looking at me like that?
Mal:It's just different where we're from.
Lonnie:Yeah, I know. I just, you know, I thought... Even villains love their kids. Oh... How awful.
Mal:Yeah, well, big bummer, but we have to get these into the oven, so thank you so much for coming by. Really, really have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow. Evil dreams.
Lonnie:Good night.
Mal:See you tomorrow. Okay, boys, cookie sheet. Evie, oven.
Evie:Yes, ma'am.Auradon
PrepGirl:Look, It's Mal.Girl 2:Hi, Mal! Love my hair, Mal!
Jay:Are you feeling kind of weird about this? I mean, It's not so bad here, you know.
Mal:Are you insane? Long live evil! You're mean! You're awful! You're bad news! Snap out of it!
Jay:Thanks, Mal. I needed that.
Audrey:Do you think they actually paid for those?
Jay:Oh, hello. The name's Jay. You all going to the tourney game tonight?
Girls:Yeah.
Jay:Keep a lookout for number eight, all right? Scoring the winning goal.
Girl:Okay.
Audrey:She did it to Jane's hair, too, and Fairy Godmother's not happy about it.Ben:What's the harm?
Audrey:It's gateway magic! Sure, it starts with the hair. Next thing you know It's the lips and the legs and the clothes and then everybody looks good and then... where will I be?
Ben:Listen, Audrey...
Audrey:I will see you at the game after my dress-fitting for the coronation, okay?
Ben:Okay.
Audrey:Bye, Bennyboo
Ben:Bye.
Mal:Hey, Bennyboo!
Ben:Hey.Mal:I just made a batch of cookies. Double chocolate chip, do you want one?
Ben:Oh, I, uh, I've got a big game. I don't eat before a big game. But thank you so, so much. Thank you. Next time. Next time.
Mal:No, yeah. I completely understand. "Be careful of treats offered by kids of villains."
Ben:No, no, no.
Mal:No, I'm sure every kid in Auradon knows that.
Ben:No, that's not it. No, no, no, I... I really do...
Mal:No, I get it. You're cautious. That's smart. Oh, well, more for me, I guess.
Ben:No, no. Hey... see that? Totally trust you. Totally.
Mal:How are they?
Ben:They're good. They're great! They're amazing! They're, uh... I mean, they're chewy and, and you know, they... is that walnuts? I love walnuts. I mean, uh, you know, the... The chocolate... The... the chocolate... The chocolate chips are... I'm sorry. Um... Uh, they're... They're warm and soft. And they're sweet... Mal, have you always had those little golden flecks in your eyes?
Jay:How you feeling, bro?
Ben:I feel... I feel... I feel like... Like singing your name. Mal, Mal.
Tourney field
All:Ohayohay!
Announcer:This is a nail-biter, folks. There's 47 seconds left on the clock. We're all tied up. The Sherwood falcons, two. The fighting knights, two. What a game between Auradon's fiercest rivals.
Jay:Get 'em, Chad.
Chad:Thanks, Jay.
Announcer:The teams get into their huddles and take up positions along the kill zone. Akiho! The dragoneers have been laying down a withering hail of fire.
Coach Jenkins:You're up.
Announcer:And now a substitution...
Jay:Coach, how about my buddy here?
Coach Jenkins:Oh, no. Not so sure about that.
Jay:Coach, he's been practicing.
Coach Jenkins:Jay...
Jay:And you said yourself a team is made up of a bunch of parts.
Carlos:Jay, I'm not that good.
Jay:Well, he's kind of like my brain.
Coach Jenkins:Come here! You heard him. Get out there!
Jay:Don't worry, bro. I got your back.
Carlos:How about my front?
Jay:Pfft. Get out there.
Announcer:He's bringing that hothead Jay in from the Isle of the Lost and that little guy Carlos can barely hold a shield.
All:Break!
Announcer:When they break from their huddles, this is gonna be a big moment here. And the tipoff is ready. Here we go. Long pass goes to Jay. Jay dishes off to prince Ben. Nice little block by Carlos. He does a little dancing jig in his opponent's face. And now Jay gets the ball back.
Here comes Jay! Jay, hurdling maneuver at mid-field.
Ben:I'm open.
Announcer:Jay makes a nice pass to Prince Ben through the kill zone.
Ben:Jay!
Announcer:Big block by Chad! Prince Ben moves over wide, gives it back to Jay. He's in the clear! Shot!
Oh, what a save by Philip the Falcons' goalkeeper!
Ben:Come on! All right, all right, let's do it!
Coach Jenkins:Come on, guys! Come on, hustle, hustle!
Announcer:23 seconds left. You could cut the tension with a sword. The long ball is played into Jay. Jay, great jump, great leap. And a great move by Jay. Big block from Chad. Jay dishes off to Prince Ben. And then Carlos with a big block, goes down. Jay through the kill zone, picks up Carlos. Oh, he's being hammered by dragon fire. Still, going on. Jay, hurdling maneuver at mid-field. He's in the clear. The ball goes back to Jay.
Carlos:Hey, Jay!
Jay:Carlos?
Carlos:Go up! Ben!
Announcer:He passes to prince Ben. He scores! Prince Ben has won it! What an unselfish play by Jay! What a team! Incredible! And it's the new guys, Jay and Carlos, who set up the prince for the win here. What a victory! An absolutely wonderful end to one of the best games ever. Here they come, folks. The winners of the first tourn...
Ben:Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I have your attention, please? There's something I'd like to say. Give me an "L"!
All:"L"!
Ben:Give me an "I"!
All:"I"!
Ben:Give me two "L"s!
All:"L"!
All:"L"!
Ben:Give me an "T"!
All:"T"!
Ben:Give me an "H"!
All:"H"!
Ben:What does that spell?
All: Lillth!
Ben:Come on, I can't hear you!
All:Lillth!
Ben:I love you, Lillth! Did I mention that?
Audrey:Oh...
Ben:Give me a beat! Whoo!
Doug:Uno, dos, tres, quatro!
Evie:Oh, my God! Cookie!
Mal:What was in that cookie?
Ben:♫ Did I mention ♫
♫ That I'm in love with you? ♫ ♫ Did I mention ♫ ♫ There's nothing I can do ♫ ♫ And did I happen to say ♫ ♫ I dream of you everyday ♫ ♫ But let me shout it out loud ♫ ♫ If that's okay-ay-ay (Hey!) ♫ ♫ If that's okay (Hey!) ♫
♫ I met this girl that rocked my worldv ♫ Like it's never been rocked ♫ ♫ And now I'm living just for her ♫ ♫ And I won't ever stop ♫ ♫ I never thought it can happen to a guy like me ♫ ♫ But now look at what you've done ♫ ♫ You got down on my knees ♫
♫ Because my love for you is ridiculous ♫
♫ Because my love for you is ridiculous ♫ ♫ I never knew (Who knew?) ♫ ♫ That it can be like this ♫ ♫ My love for you is ridiculous ♫ ♫ My love is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S! (R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!) ♫ ♫ It's (RIDICULOUS!) ♫ ♫ Just (RIDICULOUS!) ♫ ♫ And I would give my kingdom for just one kiss ♫
♫ Well, did I mention... ♫ ♫ That I'm in love with you ♫ ♫ And did I mention ♫ ♫ There's nothing I can do ♫ And did I happen to say? ♫ ♫ I dream of you everyday ♫ ♫ ♫ But let me shout it out ♫ ♫ If that's okay-ay-ay (Yeah!) ♫ ♫ If that's okay ♫
♫ I gotta know which way to go ♫ ♫ C'mon gimme a sign ♫ You gotta show me that ♫ ♫ You're only ever gonna be mine ♫ ♫ Don't want to go another minute ♫ ♫ Even without you ♫ ♫ That's if your heart just isn't in it ♫ ♫ I don't know what I'd do. ♫
♫ Because my love for you is ridiculous ♫ ♫ I never knew (Who knew?) ♫ ♫ That it can be like this ♫ ♫ My love for you is ridiculous ♫ ♫ My love is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S! (R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!) ♫ ♫ It's (RIDICULOUS!) ♫ ♫ Just (RIDICULOUS!) ♫ ♫ And I would give my kingdom ♫ ♫ For just one kiss ♫ ♫ C'mon now! ♫
♫ Because my love for you is ridiculous ♫ ♫ I never knew (Who knew?) ♫ ♫ That it can be like this ♫ ♫ My love for you is ridiculous ♫ ♫ My love is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S! (R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!) ♫ ♫ It's (RIDICULOUS!) ♫ ♫ Just (RIDICULOUS!) ♫ ♫ And I would give my kingdom ♫ ♫ For just one kiss ♫ ♫ C'mon now! ♫
I love you, Lillth! Did I mention that?
Audrey:Chad's my boyfriend now! And I'm going to the coronation with him. So I don't need your pity date.
All:Whoa!
Ben:Lillth! Will you go to the coronation with me?
Lillth:Yes!
Ben:She said yes!
Jay:Let's go, Ben. The whole team's waiting for you.
Ben:Yeah.
Lillth:Bye.
Announcer:What a victory. What a day for the Auradon knights, finally winning back the trophy after so many years.
Lillth:I feel really sorry for Audrey.
Evie:You do?
Mal:Yeah.
Lillth:I feel like if she were talented like you, and she knew how to sew and knew beauty tips, that she wouldn't need a prince to make her feel better about herself.
Evie: I guess I am kind of talented.
Lillth:You are definitely gifted.
Evie:Thanks, M,Lilly.
Jay:Yeah, yeah!Announcer:And there he is. Jay, the most valuable player. How do you like that?
Chemistry Lab
Mr. Deley: Looking for something? Thank you, Chad. It's gratifying to see someone still respects the honor code. It will be my recommendation that you are expelled.
Evie:Mr. Deley, I...
Doug:But that isn't fair. Obviously she wasn't cheating since she didn't have that... Whatever it is.
Evie:It's called a magic mir...
Doug:You're not helping. Stop. Maybe she needed another pencil.
Evie:Actually, I was...
Doug:Really, don't help. Please.
Evie:Please.
Mr. Deley:Well, If you can pass this test, I'll return your property and let the matter drop.
The Picnic Area
Evie:For the first time, It's like I'm more than just a pretty face.
Doug:A shocker, huh?
Evie:You were pretty great in there.
Doug:So were you.
Evie:I bet I can get an "A" on the next test without the mirror.
Doug:Yeah. Well, maybe we can get together and We'll hang out with...
Evie:Yeah, let's get together.
Lillth:There you are! I have been looking for you literally everywhere!
Evie:What's wrong?
Lillth:Ben just asked me out on...a date.
Doug:Nice.
Evie:We can handle this. Bye.
Doug:Bye.
Evie:You're looking a little pale.
Lillth:Yeah, of course.
Evie:I can fix that with some gloss and some blush.
Lillth:No!
Evie:Lilly, I can use the...
Lillth:No, no, no.
Mal, Lillth and Evie's Dorm
Lillth:Okay. Easy on the blush. I don't want to scare him away. Not that I could.
Evie:Please. My mom taught me how to apply blush before I could talk. Always use upward strokes.
Lillth:My dad was never really big on makeup tips. I never had a sister.
Evie:Well, now you do. We're going to need all the family we can get If we don't pull this off. My mother's not a barrel of laughs when she doesn't get her way. Just ask Snow White.
Mal:Are you afraid of her?
Evie:Sometimes. Are you afraid of your mom?
Mal:I just really want her to be proud of me. She gets so angry with me when I disappoint her. And sh... yeah, she's my mom, so I know she loves me... In her own way.
Evie: What about your dad Lillth.
Lillth: Why would i be scared of my father?
Evie:Moving on. Come see.
Lillth:Are we done?
Evie:Yeah.
Lillth:Oh.
Evie:I know.
Lillth:I look...
Evie:Say it.
Lillth:Not hideous.
Evie:Not even close.
Ben:For the first time, I understand the difference between pretty and beautiful. I hope you like bikes.
The Forest
Ben:Tell me something about yourself that you've never told anyone.
Lillth:Um... My middle name is Rain.
Ben:Rain?
Lillth:Yeah. Rain. Just what my Dad does best with his creativity, Lillth Rain Hatter.
Ben:Mine's Florian.
Lillth:Florian?
Ben:Yeah.
Lillth:How princely. Oh, that's almost worse.
Ben:I mean, you know, It's better than Rain. But it's still not... watch your foot. Yeah. Are you good?
Lillth:Mm-hmm.
Ben:Now, step up. There you go. You ready?
Lillth:Mm-hmm.
Ben:Open. Go on.
Lillth:Mm...
Ben:Is this your first time?
Lillth:Mm... We don't really date much on the island. It's more like... Gang activity.
Ben:Um, I meant, is this your first time eating a jelly donut?
Lillth:Is it bad?
Ben:You got a... Just a... I mean, yeah, do this.
Lillth:Mm-hmm. Gone? You can't take me anywhere, I guess.
Ben:You know, I've done all the talking. Your turn. I really don't know that much about you.Tell me something.
Lillth:Well, I'm 16. I'm an only child. And I've only ever lived in two places.
Ben:Me, too. That... we have so much in common already. Expect two places, where you live before the isle.
Lillth:No. Trust me, we do not. And now you're gonna be king, I lived in wonderland.
Ben:Yeah.
Lillth:What?
Ben:A crown doesn't make you a king.
Lillth:Well, it kind of does.
Ben:No, it... Your Father is The Mad Hatter and I've got the poster parents for goodness. But we're not automatically like them. We get to choose who we're gonna be. And right now, I can look into your eyes and I can tell you're not evil. I can see it. Let's go for a swim.
Lillth:Hm? What? Uh... Right now?
Ben:Yeah, right now.
Lillth:I think I'm just gonna stay here.
Ben:No, no, no. Come on.
Lillth:I think I'm gonna stay behind and try a strawberry. I've literally never tried a strawberry before. Mm! Mm...Ben:Don't eat all of them.
Lillth:Okay. Ooh! Mm. Are those little crowns on your shorts?
Ben:Maybe. Whoo! Ha-ha!
Lillth:♫ A million thoughts in my head ♫
♫ Should I let my heart keep listening? ♫ ♫ Cause up 'til now, I've walked the line ♫ ♫ Nothing lost but something missing ♫ ♫ I can't decide what's wrong, what's right ♫ ♫ Which way should I go?
♫ If only I knew what my heart was telling me ♫ ♫ Don't know what I'm feeling ♫ ♫ Is this just a dream? ♫ ♫ Ah oh, yeah ♫ ♫ If only I could read the signs in front of me ♫ ♫ I could find the way to who I'm meant to be ♫ ♫ Ah oh, if only ♫ ♫ If only ♫ ♫ If only ♫ ♫ If only ♫
♫ Every step, every word ♫ ♫ With every hour I'm falling in ♫ ♫ To something new, something brave ♫ ♫ To someone I've never been ♫ ♫ I can't decide what's wrong, what's right ♫ ♫ Which way should I go ♫
♫ If only I knew what my heart was telling me ♫ ♫ Don't know what I'm feeling ♫ ♫ Is this just a dream? ♫ ♫ Ah oh, yeah ♫ ♫ If only I could read the signs in front of me ♫ ♫ I could find the way to who I'm meant to be ♫ ♫ Ah oh, If only ♫ Yeah ♫
♫ Am I crazy? ♫ ♫ Maybe ♫ ♫ We could happen ♫ ♫ Yeah ♫ ♫ Will you still be with me ♫ ♫ When the magic's all run out? ♫
♫ If only I knew what my heart was telling me ♫ ♫ Don't know what I'm feeling ♫ ♫ Is this just a dream? ♫ ♫ Ah oh... ♫ ♫ If only I could read the signs in front of me ♫ ♫ I could find the way to who I'm meant to be ♫ ♫ Ah oh... ♫
♫ If only, yeah ♫ ♫ If only, yeah ♫ ♫ If only, yeah ♫ ♫ If only, yeah ♫
♫ If only ♫ ♫ If only ♫
Ben? Ben? Ben! Ugh! You scared me!
Ben:You... you can't swim?
Lillth:No!
Ben:You live on an island!
Lillth:Yeah, with a barrier around it, remember? Ugh!
Ben:And you still tried to save me.
Lillth:Yeah. And do you thank me? No! All I get is soaking wet!
Ben:And, uh, this fancy rock. It's yours. Make a wish and throw it back in the lake. What... Uh, Lillth... I told you that I loved you. What about you? Do you love me?
Lillth:I don't know what love feels like.
Ben:Maybe I can teach you.