Today again, the new Emperor passed those shutters. He had come that way before but only remained on the threshold of the stairs, his hands hanging down by his sides.
As she casually looked out the window, the waiting maid had inavertendly caught sight of the Emperor's back retreating. She jolted with fright and utter confusion. Her discourtesy to the Son of Heavens was punishable by law—fifty blows on the buttocks with the heavy stick! How did she find herself in this predicament?
The waiting maid Nai Nai rushed over the forecourt, threw herself on the ground and made a strong kowtow. "Greetings to Your Majesty!", emphatically pleading, "please forgive this lowly servant for she didn't receive Your Majesty properly, and failed in ensuring that her Mistress is in readiness for Your Majesty's visit."
Taizong calmed the maid, "Do not fret. This isn't an official but an impromptu visit. You may rise."
He waved his hand and the maid picked herself up on shaky legs. Such was the force of her forehead hitting the gravels that they were imprinted on her skin.
Taizong asked: "Where is Consort Emika?"
"She went out for a walk early in the morning, Your Majesty."
"It is nearing lunch time and she has not yet returned. Very well, this is good news."
The maid was anxious to please the Emperor, thus she repeated:
"Your Majesty is right, this is indeed good news. Except for the days when she attended the funeral of her family and Your Majesty's enthronement ceremony, today is Mistress's first time leaving her chambers, and with a pleasant and sunny disposition at that!"
"I am pleased to hear that her moods are improving. What about her appetite?"
"Your Majesty should not worry anymore for she has recovered her appetite."
Nai Nai thought she had seen satisfaction flickered briefly in the inky darkness of his eyes, but she could have been mistaken. Truly, it would be easier for her to decipher the pages of a book written in a foreign language than to understand the Emperor's facial expression.
Then the Emperor left.
He had not gone far when he heard close behind him a sound of shuffling. He observed that Emika appeared in a daze. Her eyes looked dim, unsettled, and mired with cloudy tears.
Once something made her happy or sorrowful, Emika would be so obvious and candid with her emotions that others easily found out.
And in this moment in time, the violence of her grief and anger had become a nauseating pain clearly visible on her pale face. It was like seeing the God of Nightmares who had transmigrated into her body.
Suddenly Emika seemed to hear someone calling her softly by name. Then the agreeable voice tinged with a hint of playfulness asked: "Do you not know me any longer?"
She lifted her head, and saw a man possessing a regal countenance, and carrying himself with an easy grace as he walked with long strides to meet her.
She blinked at him with eyes that had grown dull with too many tears. "Oh, it's you, Your Majesty!"
She bowed and realised that she was so lost in a fog of painful recollection that he had in fact been addressing her a few times before. And now he said in a low voice, reaching an arm in her direction:
"What seemed to occupy your mind so that you disregard me?"
He perceived with a shock how cold her hands were. He rubbed her hands to transfer some warmth, and it took him aback to see how the Moon Pearl bracelet he gifted her rattled loosely around her skinny wrist.
She looked even more emaciated than she did a few days ago. Taizong instantly glanced at Nai Nai who was standing behind her mistress. The maid evidently guessing the meaning of his glance—she had been trapped in her lie—once more kowtowed with all her might the while wishing her buttocks were fatter.
Emika had not put on a warm outer garment, so now she felt the cool autumn air perceptibly and she shivered slightly. Taizong immediately wrapped his overcoat over her shoulders.
"Nai Nai, run quickly inside and light up the brazier," he ordered impatiently.
But Emika protested: "Please Your Majesty, I have been cooped up at home for weeks, and while I am in good spirits I wish to enjoy the blue sky a little longer. Would you spare time to sit with me?"
So Taizong ordered the maid to lit up the outdoor brazier.
Emika was still looking at him through moist and twinkly eyes, her charming eyes as deep as the waters in spring. She lifted her hand to wipe away new born tears with her sleeve.
Taizong knew why she was crying, and while seeing her upset like this did not exactly please him, he could not honestly say that it displeased him either since it meant she was the one needing him.
"Dearest, since when do you speak to me with such formality? Address me as you always have done."
"You are now the Emperor. How could I address you casually and not feel discourteous when everyone else calls you 'Your Majesty'?"
"I do not want to feel like a stranger in your company. So why don't we come to an agreement? Only address me formally when we are in public."
She nodded with a tight smile, then her pale lips parted: "Please Taizong, would you sit with me for a little while?"
Starting up the stairs to the porch, some object had fallen from the inside pocket in her sleeve. Her hand swiftly clutched around the object Taizong was only just able to catch sight of.
Nevertheless he had identified straight away the object as a jade hairpin. Not any ordinary jade hairpin, but only one of a kind—an exquisite and opulent rare piece of moss-in-green jade carved into a one sided dragon's face with a vibrant red spinel gem for the eye.
This distinctive design belonged only one to one individual.
And when his gaze saw her hid the jade hairpin and she made a pretence of being unconcerned, he pretended he had not noticed what the object was.
They sat on the swinging bench. With a brilliant blue sky overhead and the crisp sun shining around them, it was difficult to believe that life contained such terrors and grief as those which had overwhelmed them almost two months ago, a summer away.
As Emika gradually orientated to the world again, Taizong filled the void in her heart. She leaned closely against his body, that warm and throbbing pillar of refuge, with her cheek resting on his shoulder.
She lowered her head, exposing the slender curve of her neck. Emika was listening to the reassuring and powerful beats of his heart whereas his eyes stared at her porcelain neck. He wondered why he had not yet kissed it.
Her fatigued body started to drowse.
Drawn by some strange magnetism Taizong's hand rested on her head, only for a short time before his fingers slid down the soft skin of her neck. A new thought formed: Had his brother kissed it? Did she like it?
Something like bitterness flickered in those eyes and flashed away, concealed behind the stiff mask he had carefully crafted.
With rapid intuition he was conscious of the effect he redoubted she had on him. He knew she was slowly claiming his heart, breaking down its ramparts. He was sure of her claim upon him, he understood that by and by he might lose control of his emotions.
This was unacceptable and dangerous.
He viewed love as an expression of one's insecurities. Love was a weakness that could harm him: Wasn't this assertion evidenced by the dagger thrusted in his brother's chest?
Taizong kept himself safe by not surrendering his power to this trivial emotion. He believed that loving someone meant neediness, which in turn made you accountable to this person by being willing to sacrifice anything, even if it meant walking bare feet the charcoals of Hell.
And he was irked at the thought that if his weakness was Emika, his Mother Empress would use it to her advantage. And it would have to be difficult to maintain any semblance of authority and power with his mother clinging to his weakness.
Taizong withdrew his gaze from her neck and quickly pulled back his hand.
He owed it to himself to remember what was Emika's original purpose. Yes, he had sacrificed twelve years and his soul to fit into this purpose.
At the beginning, she was only a pawn in his mother's game of chess, until he joined in. She was twelve to his eighteen, and so the game developed, slowly yet rather fast, the elements of evil gathering under cover of friendship then marriage.