After taking in their troubled expression, Shufeng spoke in a low voice. "I am sorry. I know I have failed you both." Their frustration, Shufeng understood. The risks he took to seek Emika at his brother's coronation were a burden for his companions.
After Shufeng's display of temper, rather uncharacteristic, his dark eyes revealing a trace of fragility made him seen all the more endearing in that instant.
Li Ji and Jian recognised they had too overstepped the bounds of acceptable behaviour, but in the manner they had rudely spoken to their Prince. They were not going to wait to be asked for an apology. "Your Highness," they chorused together at a prompt speed as they kowtowed, "please forgive your servants. We are sorry."
"Thank you." He felt tears rising up his throat immediately. He took in some air and composed himself. "Did the thought ever come across your mind that you could do anything for the person you love, be it risking your own life or perhaps even taking someone's life? But it never crossed my mind that I would ever risk my loyal and precious people's lives. Crossing that line is obviously wrong. I need your words of reminder more than you actually think."
Shufeng was aware he had wrongly overreacted because on one hand he was piqued by hearing about his failure in his duty towards his companions, and on the other hand he was overwhelmed by his emotions ruled by his passionate thoughts of Emika.
When Shufeng encountered a matter related to Emika, he would always lost all of his calmness and rationality.
They had survived enough ordeals for him to accept that their existence was fragile like a thread constantly threatened by the sharp blade of Fate. And when he broke his resolve not to seek Emika again, the fact was that he had exposed his companions to more brutal danger. He had acted careless and impulsive, like a selfish young boy who tried to forcibly hold onto his things without letting go.
Guilt rose in his heart like billowing clouds. He needed to fulfil his vow to remain the person worthy of their trust and loyalty, so that they would never doubt they each owed a piece of his heart.
As the three of them grew up together and comforted each other in the unfeeling palace, it was only natural for warm filial feelings to unite them. There were not of the same blood, but closer than siblings. Hence his heart ached when he listened to their words doubting the mighty affection he naturally had for them.
In fact, because of a greater purpose which was the throne and revenge, Shufeng could bear all the humiliations of being called a murderer and a traitor, of having neither title nor power, of being written off the ancestry annals; as long as the two people he dearly cherished never ceased to respect him, to love him and to have faith in him.
Being the only two people closest to family he has left, they empowered him to fly towards the uncertainty of his future. Whereas Emika had been nothing but a thorn in his wings--and it came at a complete and utter surprise.
Because of this woman, his heart was a chaotic mess and his brain befuddled. What could he do to hollow her out and let go of his feelings? She was the cruellest thing to had ever enter his life, but the most blissful thing he had ever desired. The only thing he still desired even if she was treacherous.
Shufeng clenched his jaw at the searing pain in his chest. Staring at Li Ji all the while, he comforted himself with the thought that she was the only woman on this earth he could blindly trust. She'd rather die for him rather than to betray him.
There was a snap in the back of his mind as he recalled Li Ji's motherly-like words: "Emika was raised a spoiled child and nothing more. She does not know what sacrifice means. When adversity comes, she will abandon you for her own gain." He suppressed a bitter sound of laughter directed at himself.
Shufeng stretched out his hand and paused just above Li Ji's lowered head, but hesitated before gliding his hand over her arm to gently brush away the dust from her clothes. Her whole body was shivering with coldness, so the blanket wrapping him now enveloped her shoulders.
Afterwards, he patted Jian's back. His voice, very soft, uttered: "You may both rise your head."
With only one glance, his majestic eyes had the power to speak the words from his mouth. He injected warmth in their heart and they smiled back at him.
"Your High–"
The prince raised his hand, signalling Jian to stop talking for he had more to say.
"It is never beneficial to approach someone with anything less than the truth. I have acted without consideration towards the both of you by endangering your lives because of selfish reasons. So, I apologize for assuming that you would agree with them. If you find my foolish attempt to interfere with our main purpose to be repeated, there is no need for a display of tolerance. Do you understand what I am asking you to do?"
Li Ji and Jian only answered with silence. They understood the need to interfere with His Highness's personal business if his foolishness of heart were to be repeated.
"And please, it may have seemed like I view your sacrifices as insignificant, but I do not. I truly do not. You are both my most precious persons and you give me courage and comfort amidst all this madness."
"No matter where we stand, our respect for you is the same, Your Highness." Jian nodded and smiled. Li Ji expressed her sincerity too with her gaze.
In the black depths of his eyes, his companions observed subtle signs of a lifted mood even though sadness was still present.
The cave presently fell into a solemn silence. Crisp bluish light emanated from glowing worms covering the dank walls of the cavern like hanging tapestries. It was beautiful, unlike their reality.
There was a mix of emotions expressed on their faces, consisting of helplessness... sadness... hopefulness ... grief... anxiety... anger...
Shufeng stared at Li Ji for a long while. She was falling into the fathomless depths of his pensive eyes—what future could he now give this young woman who had lost everything in his name?
He sighed heavily. Oh! so heavily.
"The both of you must go your own way. It is me they want and they will not waste time in chasing after you."
Jian pounded the ground with a fist, declaring with great oomph: "A warrior may be abandoned by his master, but he never deserts his master first." His chiselled jaw lifted with a proud smile, "If I can no longer protect you, what are you going to do?"
Holding back tears, Shufeng didn't try to argue with Jian. "Good. As you wish."
After that, his gaze paused on Li Ji. He simply surveyed her with unreadable eyes, as if searching for something, before shifting his attention back onto Jian. "However, this is the end of the road for Li Ji. She cannot continue this journey with us for it is too dangerous."
Jian strongly nodded in agreement.
The look on her face was most displeased. Before Li Ji could open her mouth to protest, Shufeng gave her an order not to disobey. "Listen to me and do not argue!" The pain in his chest was so intense that he couldn't muster the energy to speak up, and yet his voice had a kind of forcefulness not to be trifled with.
Shufeng stretched out his hand with his palm facing her, moving his four fingers quickly up and down. "Li Ji Tao, come over here."
She kneeled closer again by his side, with a defiant look on her face. Her head hung low as she forced herself to remain calm while listening to Shufeng attempting to abandon her once more. The first time was two months earlier.
"Tsk, tsk... Li Ji stop shaking your head and listen… Jian will escort you to Kaítonga and secure a fishing boat to take you to Ruyui Island. This is a small fishing island under the full authority of the Wongarasu clan.
"It is the only place the Empress won't send her soldiers by fear of starting a conflict between the Wongarasu and her clan. She is already treading on thin ice since a string of royal decrees only promoting the Northern Plain Red Banner to posts in the Chancellery and the Central Secretariat ignited new fury in the Wongarasu clan. You should be safe there."
His words turned her insides to ice. There was nothing in the world she was unable to let go of—save His Highness.
Shufeng slid off his finger the moss-in-green jade ring engraved with a wyrm then placed it into the small palm of her hand, "This rare jade is worth two years' wages of an imperial physician. It will help you to build a new life. With your knowledge in medicinal herbs you will easily find work and settle down."
The sense of pressure in his voice confirmed she had no choice, still she pushed away the ring.
"But, Your Highness… this is your royal regalia. With your name erased from the royal annals, this is the only proof of your lineage. I cannot accept this no more than I can agree to leave you."
Her widened eyes then shifted to Jian, begging for help in persuading the prince to change his mind; but the seriousness in his face refused to.
"I have been your obedient subject since I was a child, I will never abandon you. How could you ask me to betray my principles, my heart, my loyalty, and the vow I made to your mother?"
Shufeng forewarned her: "Wanted posters of my face are placarded everywhere. It is only a matter of time before someone recognise me. If we are captured the Empress will definitely spare no mercy, and the method of execution for treason and rebellion is death by a thousand cuts."
The colour drained out of her face.
Every soul in the Empire still quavered and paled at the thought of that day, thirteen years ago. And the story was recounted to the new generation as a deterrent against rebellion…
…A group of palace attendants who served under the exiled Emperor Changzou rebelled and attempted to assassinate Emperor Akishino.
"The maids were heard screaming for half a day before their death, as the executioners removed fleshly portions of their body. They slowly sliced off bits by bits the flesh in their arms, legs and chest." Shufeng paused.
Li Ji could hear her own heartbeats thumping inside her ribcage…
"Their atrocious screams travelled through the prison walls and into the streets," resumed Shufeng. "Finally the Emperor showed mercy and ordered their beheading. The bodies of the women where then displayed in public as a warning. Since that day, no one had dared to rebel whether in words nor in actions against my father."
The wind rustling in the leaves made Li Ji flinch, and the lone wolf howling made her heart hop out of its cage. Her knuckles still gripping Jian's arm were as white as her face. Her eyebrows wriggled and her bottom lip started to quiver.
The nights in the mountain suddenly seemed really frightening.
The jade ring was once more nesting in her hand. A couple of minutes passed before she finally complied and as her trembling fingers closed on the thick ring, her fingers found themselves clutching his thumb.
She pressed her fist, with the ring inside it, against her heart. And Shufeng nodded with a smile.
At once Shufeng and Jian exchanged looks of satisfaction. Jian even patted her shoulder like a proud brother.
However, her next words sent their mood back into one of gloominess.