I watched the water ripple on the lake's surface as I threw a stone and it sank to the bottom. I threw another one and the stone sent another set of ripples on the surface. I sighed deeply as I stared at my own sad reflection on, deeply troubled.
I came to the park alone just after I had my little encounter with G-Dragon at the studio. I told the driver to take me to the park I had gone to with Daesung the other day. I wanted to be alone for a while just to think. I didn't want to be bothered by anyone. Besides, I left the others at the studio still talking about the "Scorpion and Subzero Battle" aka "G-Dragon vs Black Kitty." Even though that was something to laugh about, I still felt sad and very much alone.
I didn't want things to turn out like this. Not with G-Dragon. I expected our collabo with BigBang to go on smoothly without any trouble. Turns out I was wrong. And this sad feeling I had made me miss home so bad.
Speaking of home, I remembered Collins telling me earlier this morning that I could call my mum in the evening. I looked at my phone and it was two in the afternoon. If my knowledge of time zones were correct, it's probably Wednesday in the U.S. It might be in the evening or probably midnight back home.
I dialled down my mum's phone number and pressed the call button. Calling from another country was expensive nowadays, but right now, I didn't care. All I needed right now was to hear the sound of my mum's voice.
I put the phone to my ear and I waited. Her phone was ringing on the other end and she wasn't picking up. I closed my eyes and prayed that she would pick up in time, but it seemed like forever.
I sighed. Maybe I was calling at a bad time and she was probably asleep. Before I moved the phone away from my ear, I heard a click on the phone and then came her voice.
"Hello? Sam?"
"Mum!"
Just hearing her voice made me want to break into tears and cry. I missed her so much. I tried to hold back my tears and sound normal, but I could feel my throat burn and I knew I was going to break down at any moment. I already felt a tear running down my cheek.
"Sam, my baby girl," came my mum's voice again. "Thank goodness you called. I thought you forgot about me now that you are surrounded by handsome Korean men out there."
I managed to laugh even with tears in my eyes. Oh, how it felt good to hear her voice again. I wish I could hug her and tell how much I missed her. But we were miles apart. And the thought of that made me hurt even more.
"Are you crying, sweetie?" she asked. I could hear that she was getting emotional too. How I wished I wasn't crying right now.
"I just missed you, that's all," I replied, wiping away my tears and sniffing.
"We missed you too, baby girl. Now stop crying because you will also make me want to cry too."
"I'm trying, mum," I said with a smile. "I'm just glad I get to hear your voice. I thought you might be asleep."
"We just had our supper a few minutes ago. You called at the right time."
"Ya, looks like I did."
"So, how is Korea, so far? I've seen the photos of you guys when you first got there and now there is this thing about a video released on YouTube of you and uh.... what's that guy's name again?"
"G-Dragon," I replied with a smile, not even caring that I mentioned his name. "For a mum you're really up to date, aren't you?"
"I've to know what's going on with my babies, don't I? Now that you're famous, I've no other choice but to check up on you even if it's online. Besides, Collins has been up to date with me every day, telling me that you're alright."
"That's good. We really miss you. Korea is such a beautiful place, but we really miss home."
"I know you do, sweetie. Tell me. You sound happy to talk to me, but I can tell that something is bothering you. What's wrong?"
This is what I've always loved about mum. Even from miles away, she could tell I was hurting inside. This made my eyes swell up with tears again.
"I don't know where to start and I probably don't have enough time either," I said. "It's just that, being a leader is so hard."
"But you've been leader for a long time, Sam, and as far as I know, you're a great leader. You always have."
"Well, I know. But this time, I wish I could turn back time and undo the things I've done."
"What did you do, Sam?"
"I made the worst mistake ever and if I don't do anything about it, it will affect not only my group members, but also BigBang as well."
I quickly told a brief summary of what had happened, how everything had all begun at Caribbean Bay till now. She didn't say a word as I spoke and I knew she was listening.
"And right now I feel awful," I said as I finished telling her the story. "If things don't go back to the way they were, I might as well be doomed."
"Sam, I know you regret everything that you did," said mum, "but now is not the time to start beating yourself up. You should be working on a solution to this like always. You're stronger than this, Sam, and you know it."
"I know, mum. But this is going to be hard. G-Dragon is already upset with me and the last thing I want is to make the whole world hate me in the process."
"Then if that's the case, then let the world hate you. As long as you know you tried your best to set things right, I don't see the harm in it. And besides, the whole world can't hate you. You're Black Kitty for crying out loud."
I laughed at what my mum said and she was right. I had to stop beating myself up with all this nonsense and find a way so that G-Dragon and I can work on the song in peace. It was just like I told myself earlier on. I had to clean up the mess I've made, whether or not I get burnt.
"You're right, mum. I'll try to find a way no matter what."
"That's my girl! You may be a kitten, but you're as tough as a tiger."
"Thanks mum. You're simply the best," I said with a smile.
"Give my hugs and kisses to everyone else, okay, especially to my two little boys."
"I will. It was nice talking to you, mum."
"Same here, my darling. Take care, okay? And tell me how everything turns out."
"Okay. Bye, mum. Say hi to dad and everyone else for me."
"Bye, my little kitty." And the line went dead.
After the line cut, I stared off into the distance, looking beyond the trees of the park. I took in a deep breath of fresh air and I felt myself starting anew.
I smiled to myself as I felt myself gather my confidence. Yes, there was going to be a bumpy ride ahead and I was going to set this right no matter what.
As I turned to leave, I saw TOP in front of me, standing at a reasonable distance. I paused when I saw him and he was staring right back at me. I wondered for how long he had stood there. I hoped that it wasn't too long.
He slowly walked over to me and I just stood there like a statue, waiting.
"So this is where you are," he said as he came closer. "People back at YG were really worried when you disappeared, especially Zoey."
"Pffft," I rolled my eyes. "That's Zoey. But as you can see, I'm fine. I just needed time to be alone."
"And who was that you were speaking to on the phone who made you cry so much?" TOP asked with a simple smile on his face.
I gulped as I felt my cheeks blush in embarrassment. He had been standing there the whole time! Yikes! He was probably going to make fun of me now if I told him I was speaking to my mum. He would call me a cry baby.
"I hope it's not your boyfriend whom you left back home in the U.S," TOP had a mocking smile on his face as he said that. "He's probably dumped you because of all the rumours flying around that you and G-Dragon are dating."
"I don't have a boyfriend, TOP. And second of all, I was talking to my mum."
Ya, I said it. He could laugh at me if he wanted to. It didn't matter.
"Oh, I see," said TOP, this time, with a genuine smile. For a moment, I thought he was going to burst out laughing but he didn't. "It's good you talked to her. Looks like it really helped."
"Helped in what?" I asked shrugging my shoulders.
He took a step closer to me and that almost made me want to take a step back. But I realised that if I did, I might as well just fall into the lake. I didn't want to take a dive into the waters a second time. What happened at Caribbean Bay was more than enough.
He was so close and I stared around to see if anyone was watching. The last thing I wanted was to make another love scandal that I was dating TOP. That would just make Collins and Yang Hyun-suk furious.
"I say that because you seem to have some sparkle of fire in your eyes, despite them looking all red and puffing from all the crying," said TOP, as he continued to look me in the eyes.
"Ummm, you're really making this weird for me right now," I said. "I don't know whether to say thanks or keep my mouth shut."
"Don't say anything," said TOP, the corner of lip went up making that bad boy look that almost made me melt. "Seems like to me you just gained your confidence back, am I right?"
"Well, kind of. Talking to my mum really helped."
TOP didn't say a word as he continued to look at me in a way I couldn't describe. I looked down at my feet so that he wouldn't notice me blushing. I wish he could take a few steps away from me though. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable with him standing so close.
"Would you like to go out for some ice cream?" TOP asked.
That came out so sudden. I thought he would suggest we go back to YG or at least say something about my crying. I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at him and feel that all of this was just weird.
"Aren't you here to take me back to YG?" I asked.
"Well, I was," said TOP, looking at the sky with his eyebrow raised and still with his cute bad boy look. "But I decided to have you all to myself for a change. Besides, the others don't need to worry. I told them where you were the moment I found you and that you would be here for a while."
I was cornered this time. There was simply no way I was going to avoid TOP now and I couldn't come up with a good excuse. He was stuck to me like a leech. But come to think of it, going out for ice cream didn't sound like a bad idea. I needed something cold to cool me off and something sweet to cheer me up.
"Looks like you win, TOP," I said accepting defeat. "Let's go for ice cream."
"I'm glad you accepted the offer," said TOP as he bowed to me in a respectful gesture and I couldn't help but blush. "Let's go."
He offered me his elbow and I wrapped my hand around it. The two of us walked away from the lake heading for the end of the park where the car I had driven in was parked and in front of it parked TOP's expensive red Audi sports car. Looks like we were going in TOP's sweet ride instead; because the driver soon drove off after TOP had ordered him to leave.
As TOP opened the door of his car for me, I had a sudden feeling that someone was watching me. I looked behind me among the trees and I didn't see anyone. The people walking around the park didn't seem to look suspicious in any way.
"Hey, are you okay?" TOP asked, when he noticed that I was preoccupied.
"Um, ya, I thought I felt someone watching me or something," I replied.
"Must be the paparazzi. You know how they like snooping around just to take pictures."
"Ya, maybe."
I took a quick look one last time and I was sure that someone was still out there watching. And something told me it wasn't the paparazzi. Maybe I was just being delusional. Besides, I had quite a rough day.
I quickly went into the car and TOP closed the door and went round to the driver's seat and got in. Just as TOP turned on the engine, I looked out of the car window at the park and I noticed a shadow move amongst the trees. I was right. Someone was definitely watching me.
As the car drove off along the street, I couldn't help but wonder who it was. Could it be G-Dragon? I hardly doubt it. Why would he want to spy on me if he could easily have come upfront?
It couldn't be him, that's for sure. And I wasn't liking this at all.
***
It was 10:30 AM and I was seated in the recording studio alone, waiting for G-Dragon. He was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago since we agreed to meet soon after I was done with dance practice. I groaned in frustration as I stared at the clock hang on the wall. He's so late! Anyway, it was best I tried to keep myself busy just in case he took another thirty minutes to get here.
I was seated on one of the comfortable leather chairs with my notebook and pen in hand. I thought to myself: "Can I just try to come up with a few lyrics for the song on my own?" I would go through them with G-Dragon and see if he finds them okay. But something told me he might still be upset and he might just make my life difficult and reject them. I shrugged my shoulders. Did it even matter anymore? I was bored to death and I was so not in the mood to go on social media on my phone and see what everyone's talking about.
I got to work on the lyrics by coming up with the first two lines. I stared off into the distance, deep in thought, trying to come up with more lyrics. The song was supposed to be based on fun just like we had agreed last time. Sometimes coming up with lyrics was just as tough.
I was busy in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed that someone had entered the studio. The next thing I knew, someone snapped their fingers close to my ears bringing me back to the real world. I almost jumped and when I quickly turned my head, there stood Taeyang beside me.
"Oh, it's you," I said, rolling my eyes at him.
"I see you were expecting G-Dragon," said Taeyang, as he sat next to me. "How are you by the way?"
"I'm fine and how about you?" I asked, smiling at him.
"I'm great," he replied as he gave me a huge grin.
I suddenly positioned myself so quick and stared at him straight in the eye.
"That smile on your face. Tell me you resolved things with Hyo-rin?" I asked.
"How did you figure that out?" Taeyang asked, looking surprised.
"I could easily tell, Tae," I replied giving him a smile. "I noticed that twinkle in your eye and your bright smile."
"Well, you guessed right. We talked last night and everything's alright between us."
"Wow, I'm so glad! I'm happy for you, Tae."
"Thanks. I couldn't be more happier."
"Lucky you. I wish I could find someone too."
Taeyang looked at me with his eyebrow raised. I bet he was surprised that those words came out of my mouth because I didn't look like the type who would say such things, especially in front of him. Well, news flash, I also had such desires. I'm human too, you know.
"Is this Sam I'm talking to right now?" Taeyang asked.
"You bet it is," I replied. "Don't mind me, Tae. But just so you know, I also have such in mind."
"Then why have you never dated?" Taeyang asked as he folded his arms.
"Well, I just haven't found the right person yet. That's why. People say you never get to find the right one without dating some and breaking up with them. But I want to find that someone who I'll stay with for the rest of my life. He has to be my first and last."
"Mmm, that's too much to ask, don't you think?"
"Ya, I know," I groaned, shaking my head. "But I don't know why I want it that way. Only a few people are lucky enough to find their perfect soul mate and they get married and live happily ever after."
"Don't worry, that guy will surly come around. Who knows, it might just be G-Dragon."
I knew Taeyang was just joking with me and I playfully hit him on the arm as he burst out laughing.
"G-Dragon belongs to Zoey," I said. "Those two are just meant for each other."
"Ya? And you think Collins is going to allow that to happen?"
"He might as well be the one to object to their marriage too, that's if they were ever to do so."
Taeyang and I laughed. I had to admit, Collins would do exactly that. And I wouldn't be surprised.
"Okay, enough of that," said Taeyang as he tried to calm down from all the laughter. "How is the song coming along?"
"As you can see, G-Dragon isn't here yet," I said as I looked around the studio. "So, there is pretty much nothing going on right now."
"Really? I had a glimpse of your notebook and I saw you wrote something," said Taeyang as he stared at the notebook on my lap.
I hid the notebook to my side away from plain site and folded my arms.
"I didn't write anything," I said, sounding serious and facing somewhere else.
"Why are you lying to me? I know you're a good song writer. Let me see what you wrote."
"I didn't write anything, Tae. I've to wait for your so called leader who is very late."
"Sam," Taeyang held out his hand, giving me a serious look. "Give me the notebook."
"No," I turned to look at him square in the eye.
The two of us stared at each other in silence. Then all of the sudden, Taeyang came at me trying to get my notebook. I did all I could to prevent him from getting it as I gave him my back, trying to protect the notebook as though it was the one thing that mattered to me.
"We don't have to act like children, Sam! Give me the book!" Taeyang tried to reach out with his arm to get the book, but my arm and the way I placed my back as a shield prevented him from doing so.
"No, Tae!" I said, trying my best to shield the book even though Taeyang was stronger and I felt he was going to crash me from behind.
"I just want to see what you wrote."
"There is nothing on it!"
"If there wasn't, you would give me the book despite the blank pages. But there is something you wrote and you are not letting me see."
The two of us continued to struggle with each other and this reminded me of the times when Daniel, Mike and I used to fight over the TV remote when we were younger. Those were the good times. At the end of it all, we would all be piled up on top of each other until either mum or dad got the remote and told us go to our rooms.
"Okay, that does it," said Taeyang. "You leave me no choice, Sam."
"What are you-?"
Before I could ask what he was about to do, I felt him wrap his arms around my waist. I felt him carry me from the couch and we were both falling backwards. I yelped in surprise and the next thing I know, I found myself staring upwards at the ceiling leaning on Taeyang with my back against his chest. With his hand still wrapped around my waist, he took me to the side and I found myself on the floor. Luckily, I didn't land on my face but on my knees.
It was already too late though. Taeyang managed to get the notebook with his other hand and he got away from me just in time before I got up from the floor.
"So not fair, Tae," I said, shaking my head.
"Well, you weren't giving me the book so I had to take some drastic measures," said Taeyang, "now, let me see what you wrote."
Before Taeyang could turn the notebook to the side where I wrote the lyrics, I quickly came at him, trying to grab it. But surprisingly, it looked like he knew I was coming and he gave me his back trying to shield the book the same way I did earlier on. This time it was pointless. I wasn't going to overpower him with my tiny frame of a body.
"Tae, just give it me!" I protested, trying my best to grab the book from behind.
It was way too late now. Taeyang managed to see the lyrics that I wrote and I gave up on trying to get the notebook. I hated such battles where the guy always wins. I couldn't help but huff in frustration.
I folded my arms as I stared at Taeyang who was still looking down at my lyrics. I wondered why he wasn't saying anything. I just wrote two lines and it looked like he was reading more than that. Was he analysing what I wrote? Maybe he didn't like it and was trying to find some fault. That's something I was expecting G-Dragon to do, not him.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" I asked. "You seem to be taking forever."
"They are not bad. I like it actually," said Taeyang as he looked at me.
"Oh, thanks." I couldn't help but blush.
"I noticed that the lyrics describe the day we went to Caribbean Bay."
"Well, ya," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "I took into consideration what Collins said yesterday in the interview. So, I thought the first lines should describe how the day and the fun begun. Some other parts of the song will come later on."
"Wow, no wonder Collins says you're so smart."
"Thanks," I said with a huge grin on my face. "I get that compliment a lot."
"Ya, well, your hair seems out of order and you look way more smarter than Einstein," said Taeyang as he smiled.
Ah, oh. I hadn't even realised how ridiculous I looked after my little fight with Taeyang. It was all his fault that my hair was in such a disarray. I tried to put my hair properly since I had curled it after I took a shower and I made it drop to my shoulders.
"Mmm, now you look even more prettier when I first walked in," said Taeyang.
"Just shut up, Tae," I said as I got the book from him, trying my best not to smile. But I ended up doing it anyway.
Then the door behind me flew open and G-Dragon stepped in with Zoey behind him. The two had entered the studio laughing, obviously at some joke or something. I turned towards them without saying a word as they approached Taeyang and I.
"What's up, guys?" G-Dragon greeted us as he came closer with a smile on his face.
At that moment, I wanted someone to slap me on the cheek. Was I dreaming or was G-Dragon not upset anymore? Something was fishy and I was hoping my guts would tell me what I was missing here. But right now, I had nothing.
"Hey, you're late," I said, trying to play along and trying not to sound mad.
"Ya, you're never this late unless something came up," said Taeyang.
"Well, ya, I woke up a little late," said G-Dragon. "Had a little bit of a hangover."
Seriously? A hangover? Oh my goodness, me, I forgot that G-Dragon drinks. I wanted to shake my head in disappointment, but I didn't. I also wanted to ask why he ended up drinking so much last night, but something told me to shut up and that it was best not to know.
"Well, since you're here," I said, "we can start now."
"Okay, sure," said G-Dragon as he looked at me.
"I'm so glad that you two aren't attacking each other like you did yesterday," said Zoey. "I was a good thing that you two had time to chill out."
I didn't know whether to object to what Zoey said or keep my mouth shut. I didn't want to disappoint Zoey or Taeyang, but playing along as if everything was alright didn't feel right to me at all. But for the sake of everyone in the room, it was best to keep quiet and not to raise any more controversy.
"I'm glad too," said Taeyang. "Well, we'll leave you two to your work now. Zoey and I will leave."
I quickly turned to Taeyang and I wanted to tell him not leave me alone, but I controlled my tongue. I knew this act G-Dragon was putting up was nothing but for show. And I had to admit, he is such a good actor. I didn't like what was going to happen when the two of us were left alone in this room. I was prepared for the worst, but hoping for the best.
"We will meet downstairs and head out for lunch," said Zoey. "Just tell us when you're ready to go, okay?"
"Okay," G-Dragon and I answered at the same time. Weird.
Zoey and Taeyang walked out of the studio together and when the door closed shut behind them, I felt the room instantly turn into a vacuum. This wasn't good.
There was an awkward silence between G-Dragon and I. I looked at him and for the first time in my life, I didn't know what to do. Whether to be the first one to talk or do something at least. I couldn't even move or try to scratch the back of my head.
We continued to stare at each other in what seemed like forever. G-Dragon might have also found it pretty awkward because his eyes started to dart around the room and they came back to rest on me again. Okay, if no one was going to say anything, it's better that I break the silence.
"Are we just going to stand here and not do anything or are we going to work on the song?" I asked.
G-Dragon didn't answer me right away. He bit his lower lip and stared at the ceiling as though he was trying to remember something. I had to admit, his gesture was kind of cute, but I had other better things to worry about.
"Oh, ya, the song," G-Dragon slapped his forehead and stared at me with a stupid smile on his face. "I almost forgot about that."
I raised an eyebrow at him. Was he being for real right now? How could he forget about the song? Was he trying to act cheeky with me or what? I could tolerate him being angry at me, not acting like a total clown.
"How could you forget about the song?" I asked as I folded my arms.
"I don't know, I just forgot. I thought I was coming here for something else."
The liquor he had must have hit him real hard. This was just great! I bet I was the reason for this. No doubt about it.
"Then what did you think you were coming here to do?"
"I don't know, you tell me."
I couldn't help but fear for the worst. Was he still drunk or had he hit his head somewhere this morning that he was acting like this?
"Are you still drunk, GD?" I asked feeling worried.
"And why would I be drunk early this morning?"
"You tell me. You're acting like you don't remember anything or maybe you're just messing around with me. Are you okay or do you still need time to rest?"
G-Dragon didn't answer me as he stared at me. My eyebrow was still raised and I was hoping he was just pretending. I prayed to God that all this was nothing but a show.
"I'm fine, Sam," G-Dragon replied, slowly. "We can start working on the song now."
I wanted to breathe out a sigh of relief, but I knew all this was far from over.
"Um, okay then, let's take a seat, shall we?"
I went over to the leather chairs and sat down and G-Dragon followed suit, sitting down right beside me.
"So, I came up with some lyrics a few minutes ago since you didn't show up," I said, handing the notebook over to him. "Take a look and see if you like it."
"Wait," said G-Dragon with a questioning look on his face. He didn't get the book from me and I looked at him wondering what was going on in that head of his.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I heard you and TOP went out for ice cream yesterday," said G-Dragon. "Is that true?"
I didn't like where this was heading to but it was better to tell the truth anyway.
"Ya, TOP and I went out for ice cream yesterday. Do you have a problem with that?" I asked.
"Well, no," G-Dragon replied. "I just wanted to know, that's all."
I didn't say anything when I remembered the mysterious person who was spying at the park yesterday. Could it be that G-Dragon hired the person or was it in fact G-Dragon who had been there the whole time?
"How did you know I went out with TOP for ice cream?" I asked.
"Zoey told me," he answered. "She said you told her that you had quite a good time."
Okay..... Looks like G-Dragon wasn't the one at the park after all. And if he did send someone to spy on me, he would have told me directly instead of asking. Seems that the mysterious person at the park was yet to be known.
"Ya, I did, GD. Now can we please try to focus on the song?"
"Okay."
"Here, take a look at what I wrote and see if you like it."
I gave G-Dragon the notebook and he slowly took it from me. He looked at the notebook for five seconds and then he dropped the book beside him and leaned down further onto the chair with his eyes closed.
I was totally surprised. I thought he was going to say that he didn't like the lyrics, but it looked like he barely read a word. This was frustrating. It was either he was still drunk or probably the hangover was doing him real bad. I tried to keep my temper on check so as not to sound mad at him.
"What's wrong, GD?" I asked. "Do you still need time to rest because of your hangover?"
"No, Sam, I'm fine," said G-Dragon, still with his eyes closed.
"Then what is then? First you forgot about meeting up with me for the song and now you look like you need a doctor. Tell me for real this time what the problem is."
I continued to stare at G-Dragon as he just lazily sat there with his eyes closed and he didn't reply. Then, he slowly raised the corner of his mouth into a smile and he chuckled to himself. I shook my head and I felt like leaving the room. We weren't going anywhere like this. And for now, I would rather just work on the song alone.
"You know you aren't helping, right?" I asked as G-Dragon continued to chuckle. "It's either you tell me what's wrong with you or I'll leave and work on the song by myself."
"I don't need to tell you what's wrong with me, Sam," said G-Dragon, as he stared at me, still smiling. "You already know why. You're smart enough to figure this out, so, don't disappoint me."
I didn't have to guess as I said, "you're still mad at me."
G-Dragon smiled and with his index finger, he playfully tapped my nose as though it was a button and made a 'boop' sound with his mouth as he tapped it.
"You guessed right, as always. I'm still mad at you."
Well, that settled it then. I couldn't work like this. We both couldn't work like this. G-Dragon needed help and I mean medical help. He was acting crazy. Though he didn't smell of alcohol, something told me he was still drunk and I needed to get away from him, before he did anything crazy.
"You aren't feeling too well, GD. You need some rest or at least take some aspirin."
"Don't worry about me, Sam. I'm very much fine. Just got a bit of a headache."
"Then let me get you some medicine, okay?"
I stood up from the couch and before I could go even take a step, G-Dragon quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me down towards him. I landed on his lap and my head fell on his chest.
"Don't go yet," said G-Dragon as he slowly wrapped his arm around my shoulder bringing me close to him, our bodies touching. "I want to tell you something."
"How you're still mad at me till now?" I asked, almost sounding irritated.
"Well, ya. I'm still mad at you. Not only because of your stupid suggestion you made about the song, but there is something else."
That came out as a surprise. What else did I do for G-Dragon to still be mad at me for?
"I don't understand," I said. "Tell me, what else did I do for you to be still mad at me?"
"You've been a really bad kitty, you know that?" G-Dragon whispered, as he squeezed my shoulder.
"No, I don't know. Just tell me what I'm missing, GD."
"The time the whole world thought we were dating, I didn't like it at first," started G-Dragon, as he gently brushed my shoulder with his fingers. "But afterwards, I got to like the idea. Even when we both knew that it was nothing but a misunderstanding and nothing of that sort could ever happen between us, in my mind, the thought of us dating felt kind of right, you know?"
As I listened to G-Dragon, I couldn't help but come to a conclusion that he was still drunk and was talking nonsense. But then again, I felt really confused. Was he really honest with what he was saying or was he playing around? Drunk people usually tell the truth because they have no control over their emotions and how they actually feel. Was he really telling the truth?
"GD, you're talking nonsense, okay?" I said, trying not to panic. "I know you like me, but not 'like me, like me' sort of way. You know what I mean?"
"I know. You might just say that Zoey is my type. That's true, I guess. I like Zoey for who she is but she is one I don't see myself dating."
Dating? What did he mean? We weren't supposed to date any of the BigBang members while we were still here in Korea. It wasn't going to make sense since we would just be staying here for less than month for the song and we will be back home in the U.S.
"GD, you're getting me confused here and you seem to have gone out of topic," I said. "You're supposed to be telling me why you're still mad at me."
"Oh, ya, you're right," said G-Dragon, chuckling to himself. "Look at me, telling you all this nonsense."
"So, all you just said was a lie?" I asked, crossing my fingers and praying he would say yes.
"That doesn't matter now. Just forget about it."
Dang it! Somehow I knew all this was going to happen and I wanted to punch him in the face.
"GD, can you please let go of me now? We have to see if we can work on the song or not."
I tried to pull away from G-Dragon, but he was still had his hand on my shoulder and I couldn't move.
"Where do you think you're going, my little kitty?" G-Dragon asked, this time, he seemed to be slurring with his words. Okay.... maybe he was a little drunk.
"Well, you aren't telling me the real reason you're mad at me, so, why should I be here? I don't even know why you have me so close when you hate me. That clearly doesn't make any sense."
"You're right. It doesn't make any sense at all."
I looked up at G-Dragon. That was something I was trying to avoid this whole time, but I did so anyway. He wasn't staring down at me though. He had his face looking upwards and his eyes closed. He looked like he was caught in a daydream because he was smiling. That looked weird and funny at the same time and I dared not to laugh.
"GD? Are you listening to me?" I called out to him, but he seemed not to listen because he didn't answer.
I now figured out that this was my chance to get away from him. Looked like he had somehow dosed off. I slowly put my hand on his which was on my shoulder and I slowly lifted it. He didn't move a muscle. I wondered if he was really asleep or maybe he was pretending. I wasn't going to let this chance slip away though. If he was really awake, he would have to have a hard time grabbing me again.
After slowly putting his hand aside, I continued to stare at him, hoping that he wasn't going to wake up. I slowly stood up from his laps and slowly started tiptoeing away from him until I was at a reasonable distance. He just lay there on the couch fast asleep.
Despite being a little drunk, he looked like he had a rough sleepless night too. As I looked at him, I noticed the bags under his eyes. I couldn't help feel sorry for him though. Looked like I put him through a hell of a rough time. I just wondered why he was still mad at me for apart from the argument we had about the song.
I couldn't leave him in the state he was in, so, I pulled out my phone and called Lee.
"Lee, here. What's up, Sam?" Lee asked as she picked up her phone.
"Hey, are you with the managers right now?" I asked.
"No, they just left the place and I don't know where they went," Lee answered. "I'm stuck here upstairs with Yang Hyun-suk's secretary."
"Okay, can you do me a favour? I need a hot strong cup of coffee, a blankie and some aspirin."
"Why do you need all that for? Are you sick?"
"Just come by the recording studio and I will tell you."
"Okay, I'm on it."
Immediately I cut the call, I went on to looking at G-Dragon. He still hadn't moved and I walked over to him. When I got close, I placed my palm over his forehead. His temperature was fine. I feared the worst for no reason. I just hope he was going to wake up soon. Nobody is supposed to see him like this or else they would start to worry, especially our group members and our managers.
In what felt like ten minutes, Lee came into the room with a blanket on her arm, a cup of hot steaming coffee in one hand and a small bottle of aspirin in another. She walked over to me and her mouth fell wide open when she saw G-Dragon sleeping on the couch.
"What's happening here?" Lee asked. "Don't tell me you killed him, Sam!"
"You're overreacting, Lee," I said as I rolled my eyes at her. "GD isn't feeling too well. Why do you think I need all that for?"
"A blankie to wrap up GD's body, a coffee and aspirin to calm you down after all the trouble you went through of killing him."
"Though it makes sense, that's just silly. I can never kill him even if I wanted to."
I turned around and I slowly held G-Dragon and started to position him on the couch properly so that he could sleep well.
"You're right," said Lee. "You can never kill him because you like him."
I almost dropped G-Dragon like a lifeless doll, but I managed to keep steady as I slowly leaned his head on the armrest of the couch.
"I don't like him," I said as I looked at Lee. "He is just a friend and you know it."
"Maybe," said Lee playfully, as she gave me the blanket. "I like the fact that you don't hate him like he hates you now."
"You know the reason why he is like this is because of me," I said as I covered GD with the blanket. "But it looks like the song wasn't the only reason why he hates me so much."
"Really? Are you sure?" Lee sounded surprised.
"He told me himself just a few minutes ago. I don't know what else he could hate me for. I just hope it's not that serious."
"For him to be in that state, looks serious to me."
"He should wake up soon." I slowly stood up from the couch and I continued to look at G-Dragon as he slept.
"Ya, he better wake up or else this coffee will get cold. And they make pretty good coffee around here."
I went to the other couch and I sat down letting out a sigh of relief. Lee put the cup of coffee and bottle of aspirin on the table and came to join me on the couch.
"Did he tell you anything else?" Lee asked.
"Nothing really," I replied. "When Taeyang and Zoey left the room, he was acting weird.
Seems like he was a little drunk. He forgot about meeting me here for the song and that was so unlike him. Instead of being mad at me, he held me in his arms and told me that he still hates me for another reason I don't know of."
"Oh, didn't he say anything else that might have been suspicious or awkward?"
I looked up at the ceiling deep in thought. Then it finally crossed my mind.
"He did ask about TOP and I having ice cream yesterday," I said as I remembered. "And he also talked about the whole thing of him and I dating. He said that even though everyone in the world had thought we were dating, he kind of liked the idea and had imagined all that in his head."
Lee suddenly clapped her hands so loud, she almost popped my eardrum.
"What was that all about!" I asked, looking shocked. "You almost scared me to death and you are going to wake up G-Dragon."
"That's it! I now know why he said all that," said Lee, looking really excited as though she figured out how to control time. "He likes you."
"No, I don't think so," I said shaking my head. "I thought so too, but I highly doubt it."
"For someone who is smart, you should already have figured all this out by now," said Lee as she rolled her eyes at me. "He likes you and he is probably jealous that you went out with TOP yesterday.
"I'm still not buying it," I said as I shook my head.
"You know you're not that hard to read, right? It can clearly show on your face that you already know that he likes you. You're just trying to dodge the topic."
I couldn't agree with Lee more. I was clearly trying to avoid the fact that G-Dragon might really like me because he wasn't the only I had in mind. There was Daesung too.
"Hello! Earth to Sam!" Lee waved her hand in front of my face to grab my attention. Looked like I was stuck in my thoughts for a moment or two. I turned to look at Lee.
"I'm right, aren't I?" Lee asked. "Just by the look on face, I know I am right."
"Ya, you're," I said, admitting defeat. "I don't want to even think that G-Dragon does like me."
"But why? Isn't that a good thing?"
"No, it's a bad thing. I won't stay here for long and we can't start dating each other. It's not right. And besides, you know how our managers are, much less Zoey."
"Why are you bringing Zoey into this?"
"Because she likes GD and you know that."
"As much as she likes him, I don't think she will be mad at you if the two of you were to date, that's if it were ever to happen. And besides, the while world won't find that a bad idea. It will be a match made in heaven. Haven't you seen what people are posting on the social networks after your little falling incident? A love story is brewing already."
"Excuse me? A love story is already brewing?"
"Well, ya. I know you're always the last person on earth to know what is going on around your life on social media, but yes. There is a love story alright."
"Oh, no." I rolled my eyes as I leaned further down unto the couch.
I knew something like this was going to happen after the interview we had yesterday. But the things that happened today made me forget all about that and what people out there were saying. This was great! Just great!
"If you want I can show you," said Lee as she pulled out her phone. "There are some interesting stuff."
Before I could reach out for Lee's phone, I heard groaning and quickly looked over at G-Dragon. He was waking up! Thank goodness! Looked like he just passed out for a while.
I quickly went over to him and sat beside him on the couch. He seemed to be in discomfort because of the way he furrowed his eyebrows. He held his head as he continued to groan in pain.
"GD, are you okay?" I asked.
G-Dragon opened his eyes and he looked at me. For a moment, he looked really confused. Looks like he woke up with not only a bad headache, maybe a loss of memory too?
"What happened to me?" GD asked, as he tried to sit up right.
"Wow, careful," I said as I tried to help him sit up. "I'm the one whose supposed to be asking you the same question. You weren't yourself when you came here."
"What do you mean?" G-Dragon asked looking as confused as ever.
I didn't answer him as I turned to look at Lee giving her a signal with my eyes to pass the coffee and the aspirin. She quickly stood up and gave them to me. Luckily the coffee was still hot.
"Here take this," I handed him the cup of coffee and he took it. I opened the bottle of aspirin and handed him a pill.
"Take that and you will feel much better," I said as he took the pill from me.
G-Dragon slowly took the aspirin into his mouth and drank the coffee as I continued to look at him.
After he drank some of the coffee, he looked at me and handed the cup of coffee back to me.
"Thanks," he said.
"Are you feeling better now?" I asked. "You weren't okay at all."
"Ya, I guess so. I just have a bit of headache."
"You must have been a little drunk. Do you remember anything at all?"
"Not really. I only remember coming here with Zoey."
"And do you remember anything after that?" I continued to look at G-Dragon hoping he wasn't going to remember the whole incident.
"No, nothing really," said G-Dragon as he scratched his head. "I remember being here with you and I think I just blacked out."
"Ya, you did," I quickly said nodding my head.
I heard Lee give out a little teasing cough behind me. I knew what that meant. She was pointing out to me that I was lying. If she thought I was going to tell G-Dragon about his little fiasco, she knew better that I would rather just keep my mouth shut.
"Has anyone come in here?" G-Dragon asked.
"Apart from Lee, no one has been here," I answered. "And luckily our managers aren't around either."
G-Dragon still held his head for a while and then he looked at me. I stared at him back and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something mean. But surprisingly he didn't. He slowly pushed the blanket aside and I knew I had to move aside. When I stood, G-Dragon immediately got up from the couch. I soon realised that the two of us were standing so close to each other that I had to move one step backwards.
"So, are we really going to work on the song today?" I asked. "We can work on it tomorrow if you want. That's if you're still not feeling okay."
He didn't answer me as he held his head. Looked like he was trying to think of what to do next. I was hoping he would suggest that we try and work on the lyrics tomorrow. I already felt awkward being in this room after what had happened and I needed a break.
"We've already wasted a lot of time already," said G-Dragon as he lazily scratched his head. "Let's just start on it today. Just give me a few minutes to get a breather."
"Ya, okay." Dang it! I was hoping for something else and now he wanted to work on the song today! Oh, gosh! Why!
G-Dragon must have noticed the sudden change of tone in my voice because he looked at me in a way I couldn't describe. When I looked back at him, I could clearly see in his eyes that he didn't have that anger that he had for me before. He was the old G-Dragon, who was so sweet and really annoying when I first got here. I now remembered that he used to tease me so much with his jokes. All that seemed like a million years ago. And when I thought of that, I suddenly realised how much I had missed the old him.
"Sorry," said G-Dragon.
Well, that came out as a shocker. I raised my eyebrows at him and Lee, who I almost forgot was still in the room, cleared her throat behind me. It was obviously a surprise to her too.
"Sorry for what, GD?" I asked.
"I'm sorry for coming in a little tipsy and ruining our plans," he replied. This time, I could tell that he was really sincere with me and that almost made me feel sorry for him.
"No, it's probably not your fault. I don't blame you for it," I said. I already knew I was the cause of all this, so why not blame me?
"But still, I was late and I might have acted a little weird around you, though I can't really remember. And because of that, I'm sorry."
"No, it's fine. You weren't that much of a deal anyway."
I felt relieved. The goodness of all this was that he didn't remember a thing from the time he came in with Zoey. Now was clearly not the right time to reveal to him about his confessions. We had to work on the song now.
"Okay," said Lee all of the sudden and G-Dragon and I turned to look at her. "Looks like you
won't be needing me around, so, I'll leave you two to do your....um....stuff."
Really? Stuff? I raised a questioning eyebrow at Lee and all she did was give me a frown when G-Dragon wasn't looking.
Before Lee could start heading for the door, it flew open and TOP, Christine and Daesung came into the room.
Uh-oh. TOP was here. This wasn't just bad for me, but also for G-Dragon. And also, Daesung was here! This was bad, specifically for me. Yikes! That was two points for me and one for G-Dragon.
My face had suddenly drained of colour when I saw them walk in and I thought this time, I was the one going to pass out. This was absolutely terrifying. Even Lee gave me the 'this-is-real-bad' look, because of TOP. I swallowed hard and tried to act natural.
"Hey, guys, what are you doing here?" I asked with what felt like a stupid smile on my face.
"We came looking for you two love birds," said Christine.
"Love birds?" I asked, looking surprised. I noticed the weird looks on both Daesung and TOP's faces.
Christine rolled her eyes. "Never mind. Our managers called and they told us to meet here with you and G-Dragon."
"Wait, are they here?" Lee asked.
"No, they just told us to meet here," said TOP. "They will be here soon."
"Looks like they want to tell us something important," said Daesung. "They sounded really serious."
Oh gosh, what would probably be so serious that they would want all of us to meet here? I hope it wasn't about the song. If it was, what was I going to tell them? That I only wrote two lines and that G-Dragon came here a little tipsy? No way!
"Are the others coming?" Lee asked.
"Yes, I bet they received the phone call," said Christine. "We left these guys with the trainees at the dance studio."
"Well, we can all sit here and wait then," I said.
"Ya, sure," said Daesung, as he, TOP and Christine occupied one couch, while G-Dragon and I sat on the couch we were sitting on before. As for Lee, she sat on one of the seats alone.
"So, how far have you guys gone with the song?" TOP asked.
I felt tongue tied with that question. I didn't know whether to tell him the truth or come up with a lie. This was going to be tough.
I looked over at G-Dragon who sat next to me. He had been quiet the whole time and I was starting to get worried when I remembered what Lee told me about him being jealous of TOP. Was he really that jealous? I wanted to read his eyes and see what's behind them, but it would look weird if I did that. And besides, G-Dragon turned to look the other way. I couldn't tell if he did that to avoid TOP's question or my gaze.
"Well....um, we haven't really gone that far though," I said when I noticed my notebook on the couch I was sitting on and I took it. "We just wrote a few lines."
"Oh, oooh! May I see!" Christine asked sounding like a child.
"No," I said bringing the notebook to my chest. "We aren't done yet. It won't be right just reading a few lines."
I could feel G-Dragon's eyes at the back of my head and they felt like piercing needles prickling my skull. He was probably surprised that I told everyone that we had written a few lines when we barely wrote anything. The only lines that were on my notebook were the two I wrote earlier and G-Dragon hadn't even looked at them yet. He was going to thank me later for covering for him, that's if he still hated me or not. Either way, I didn't really care.
"Aww, I really hate it when you keep your stuff private," said Christine. "But anyways, I trust that it will be awesome."
"Ya, it will," I said, somehow with doubt in my heart.
Then Taeyang, Zoey, Daniel and Mike came into the room.
"Hey, is everyone here?" Daniel asked as he sat next to Lee with the others.
"Everyone is here except Seungri," I said. "Do you know where he is?"
"Don't know," said Daesung. "I don't think he came by today."
"Well, let's just hope he comes here in time," said Mike. "Because our managers are here. Just saw Yang Hyun-suk's car park outside."
I breathed out heavily and I couldn't stop thinking about what our managers would want to discuss with us. I was so caught up in my thoughts like always that I didn't hear what Christine was saying until Zoey, who sat next to me, tapped my leg.
"Uh?" I kind of felt lost for a second as I turned to look at Zoey.
"You seem to be in the clouds, as always," said Zoey. "Christine was saying something and you didn't seem to listen."
"Oh," I didn't know what to say. I should really stop getting caught up in my own thoughts. I couldn't help myself for today though. Stuff just kept on flooding my mind.
"What were you saying, Christine?" I asked, as I scratched my head in embarrassment.
"I'm just happy that you and G-Dragon aren't fighting anymore," said Christine. "Yesterday was kind of awful but I'm glad you two cooled down."
G-Dragon fidgeted beside me while he cleared his throat and I couldn't help but stare down at my hands on my lap. If only these guys knew that things hadn't really changed at all. Yes, we weren't yelling at each other like we did yesterday, but that didn't change the fact that we were still not okay with each other. Everyone seemed relieved and I didn't want to burst their bubble.
I couldn't even say anything after what Christine said and I was saved by the bell when our two managers walked in. Surprisingly, Seungri came in behind them.
"Ah, you're all here," said Yang Hyun-suk as he came in with Collins and Seungri.
"We all came here immediately you called us," said Taeyang. "You want to tell us something important, right?"
"Yes, we do," said Collins. "You might want to take your seat, Seungri."
"Um?" Seungri looked a little absent minded for a second until he quickly rushed to the couch and took his seat right next to Daesung.
"Okay, so, we received an important call today and that's why we weren't around," said Yang Hyun-suk.
Phew! I breathed out a sigh of relief and I felt my heart settle. It wasn't about the song. Thank goodness!
"We're going to have a fan signing event tomorrow," said Collins. "It would be good, especially for The Toxins. It would be good for your fans to see you up close, you know."
"Ya, that would be awesome," said Zoey. "I can't wait to see our Korean fans close and talk to them."
"Ya, can't wait," said Daniel.
"And what do you think, Sam?" Collins asked. "I expected you to say something at least."
"I...eh, it's fine with me, Collins," I replied, putting up a smile. "The fan signing event tomorrow will be great."
"Good. Now that that's settled, you might get yourself prepared for what's coming next," said
Yang Hyun-suk with a smile on his face.
"What do you mean?" I asked. Something didn't sound right when Yang Hyun-suk said all that. And just by the way he smiled, I could tell something was a little off for sure.
"Oh, you'll see," said Collins. "It's a surprise."
"Oh, I love surprises!" Christine said with glee.
"Me too," said Seungri. "You guys can do whatever you want for now," said Yang Hyun-suk. "You too, Sam. You Toxins better get ready for tomorrow's event."
The two managers left the studio and Lee quickly followed behind them. Everyone started talking among themselves about the fan signing event tomorrow except for G-Dragon and I.
"I better leave," said G-Dragon, as he stood up. "I think I still need to cool down a little."
"Ya, I'm sure you do," I said. "We will continue with the song later."
G-Dragon didn't say to me in response and I thought it was better that way. G-Dragon addressed to the others that he was leaving and everyone beat him farewell and he soon left the studio. I was left with others who were still buzzing with excitement. They all started talking about the surprise that we would receive tomorrow and somehow, I wasn't really in the mood to talk about it.
What happened with G-Dragon today when we were alone in the studio didn't seem to leave my mind. What he also said to me didn't leave either. I didn't like the fact that there was another reason he hated me and I started to wonder what it was.
Was it because I went out with TOP yesterday? I shook my head at the thought of it. It couldn't be that. Was I missing out on something? Whatever it was, it was going to take a while to figure it out.
"Tomorrow is going to be awesome," said Zoey. "I should really get myself a manicure and pedicure to look all dashing tomorrow. What do you think, Sam?"
Somehow, Zoey's voice seemed to have found its way into my head. By the time she was asking me the question, I wasn't so absent minded like I was earlier.
"You already know what you want to do," I replied. "You clearly don't have to ask me."
"Point taken," said Zoey. "Why don't Christine, you and I go for a pedi and manicure? It would be so much fun. Just us girls."
"I agree," I said as I nodded my head. I needed to take my mind off things.
"Ya, you girls go ahead," said Daniel. "We will find you back at the hotel."
"You girls go and make yourselves look pretty for tomorrow," said TOP. "I simply can't wait." He said this as he looked at me.
"For tomorrow's surprise or the fact that we will be looking stunning?" Christine asked.
"I would say both," said TOP as he winked at me and I felt my cheeks blushed.
"I just hope the surprise will be one of the kind," said Daesung.
"I'm not really betting on it," I said. "I guess it will be something we least expect and I won't like it."
"You worry too much," said Zoey. "Let's go, girls. I want to look fabulous for tomorrow."
"Okay, let's go," I said as I stood up from the couch, Zoey and Christine also did the same.
"See you princesses tomorrow," said Taeyang, as we started to leave.
"Make sure you look really pretty," said Seungri.
"Oh, don't worry. We will," said Zoey, as she took a swing of her hair and smiled.
I rolled my eyes and I didn't say anything as we walked out of the room. I wasn't looking forward to tomorrow like I normally would. Something told me there was something fishy about our surprise and I wasn't liking it at all.