I didn't sleep after the dream. I couldn't even if I wanted to. I had the same nightmare. The one I had every night. I felt like a small child who'd wet his pants after a scary little dream about clowns stealing their ice-creams. But in mine, even though I had it many times, I still felt terrified with it. It was a memory. An odd one I didn't remember. But it still felt like it happened. There were people in it. With weird plastic suits and huge black goggles. I'd feel their stares at me. I'm holding someone's hand with a tight grip in the dream. The people attempt to pull me towards them, all grabbing me. I'd scream and scream as I hear my name from all directions. They throw me in a dark room, with a keypad-type thing attached on the wall. They'd yell for me to type in it. But... I don't know what to type. They keep yelling and I cower in fear. Crying. The dark room would open with a light. I look up. But that's when the dream ends. That's when I wake up with my face wet with sweat from stress and tears of horror.
I would whimper and tremble every time. But recover after five minutes. I don't even know why I'd cry then but at that time, it'd feel like the right thing. Right thing. 'Doing the right thing'. All of this suddenly led me to those two. Nickie and Jaden, what they said. Why did it all sounded so familiar? Like I had seen this all coming? This feeling I don't recall but then again, it felt natural almost. Staring at the ceiling, I wondered, why did this happen to me? Why did the world change? And most importantly, Why did this all happen on my freaking birthday? Seriously? Was I that unlucky? These thoughts kept me awake. Alive.
Shifting in my bed, I turned to the side, to face the clock, hung lifelessly on the wall. It was almost 3. In the morning. I felt hungry. I hadn't eaten anything since they left. And I regretted it. My stomach was begging for food but I didn't have any. This all happening on my birthday. Wow. I would want nothing then as good as this. Being sarcastic, by the way.
Grunting, I got up. If I wasn't sleepy, then what's the point to try to force your eyes to shut when they refuse to? I wasn't gonna waste my time like that. So, I dragged my chair to the window and sat there. I wished I could see the outside instead of a dead view. I wished to see the stars and the moon. I don't like staying here. I feel so trapped in this place. I want out. I want to be free. I wanted... my dad to take me away. But all hope was gone. Alex said so. And I trusted her. Because she knew what it was in the world. How the virus was. Incurable. Which sucked.
She didn't say he was dead. But the fact that he didn't come and take me, makes him dead for me. Not literally. But he didn't come. I searched for him. And he never even bothered about that.
Sighing I waited. For Nickie and Jaden to arrive. They told me to stay awake. I am awake. It was 2:45. Fifteen minutes. Where are they? It was strange how determined I was to go with them. Maybe anyone would be if they'd know a way to get out. And as much as I hated to admit it, I know my Father wasn't coming back. He wasn't any different. He forgot me just as the others forgot their kids. I just wanted to leave this place. Have a life in which, at night, I could stare at the sky and not a stupid ceiling.
I jumped when I heard a soft knock at the door. I walked about to it, whispering, "Who is it?" Even when I knew who it was.
"Obviously us." Nickie whispered back, annoyingly, "Who'd else you'd expect in the middle of the night?"
I heard Jaden snicker behind her, as I opened the door. "Just in time." I said, looking at the clock, impressed.
The two entered inside. Jaden wearing complete black.
"Don't you think that's a little too much?" I frowned.
Nickie scoffed at Jaden, who's face fell, "Didn't I tell you, cuz? You look ridiculous."
Jaden grunted a whatever.
"What now?" I said, to break the awkward silence even before it started. "Are we just gonna stare at eachother or do you have a plan?" I looked at Nickie expectantly.
She looked like she hadn't had any trouble waking up through the night. Her eyes weren't red like the two of us and her hair weren't sticking out in all direction like the two of us. She seemed prepared enough.
"If she doesn't have a plan, then she ain't Nickie." Jaden patted her on the back, but she didn't go red with the compliment. Just shrugged.
"Do you have a bag, Harry?" She asked me.
"Yeah, I guess." I walked to turn on the lights. "Can a duffel bag work?"
"As long as it's a bag, it'll work fine." Nickie muttered.
I nodded, opening my cupboard, digging threw the piles of clothes. I felt Nickie's cold stare at me and I tried hard not to shudder. It made me feel so edgy. Where's the bag when you need it?
"Ahh, Shit!" I thought I was the one to swear when Nickie said,
"What's up, Jaden?"
I turned to him, with an eyebrow rose, "What, you wanna use the bathroom or something?" I actually felt like I did anyway.
Jaden ignored me then hesitantly looked at Nickie. I was sure I caught a glint of fear in them.
"Don't get mad, cuz but," He cleared his throat, "I... uh... kinda..."
"You forgot the keys didn't you?" She smacked hard at her forehead.
"Yeah." I had already seen the bunch of keys he had in the auditorium. I wonder how he got them? How hard was it to steal them?
"Then go get it!" She snapped at him, whisper-shouting.
I watched Jaden leave, muttering under his breath, shutting the door behind him.
I stared at Nickie, blankly. She turned to me and scowled, "You found it yet?"
My skin felt red and hot as I shook my head, going back to search for the bag. She probably thought me as a creep, staring at her. Stalking her when I wasn't. You know the times when you're looking at something but thinking about a completely different thing, so deep in thought that you don't even realize what- or who -you're staring at? That's what I was doing. I was actually wondering what we're going to do when we reach Alex's office. Break in?
I tried to ignore her blue eyes piercing me when she said, quietly like she wasn't sure if she should say it or not, "You've been crying?" Why did she have to say it so calmly?
I laughed ugly, but it was better then to have admitted that I was sobbing in my dream or in reality, "No! Why'd you ask something like that?" I tried my best to act like the tough guy who thought crying was for losers but failed. The look she was giving me, filled with pity and concern was enough to break me. Enough to break anyone really.
"I don't know." I had expected her to end the conversation, but she kept on pushing, "I saw those tear stains on your face. You were crying weren't you?"
I snorted, pretending to look deep in the cupboard even when I had already found the duffel bag and was holding it tight in my hands. I didn't dare face her. Incase I start whimpering again. It was frustrating that even I didn't know what I was crying about!
"What are you doing?" Nickie asked.
"Looking for the bag, like you'd said." I replied, dryly.
"Why? It's in your hands." She was observant.
"Oh yeah." I rolled my eyes, filled with unwanted, random and stupid tears. "I guess it is."
"Then, why don't you bring it?" She asked. I knew what she was trying to do, but didn't care..
Getting up, I walked to her, giving her the bag, but still staring at the floor. Like I was guilty for a crime.
"I knew you were crying." She muttered, I could swear that I saw the corner of her mouth twisting in a smile. Looking at me, examining me as if, I knew she was enjoying this.
I wiped those tears with my sleeve. Gritting my teeth, I wanted to tell her, Now what? Now that she found out what was the point? Was she satisfied to know the truth? Because I wasn't. Why was she so eager? Happy now? To prove me? Was that what she wanted? If so, then she was down right selfish and bad at minding someone's privacy.
I wanted to say this right to her face. Why was she so arrogant? Why did she like this? I'd have preferred Jaden to have been here. So that he never had to ask me.
But instead of saying all of this, I said, hissed, at her, with my fists clenched, "If I would - and that's a big if - had been crying Nickie Gray then I would have never let you two inside."
She gave me a look, then nodded, for I don't know what, just as the door opened, with Jaden sheepishly grinning, holding his keys.
His smile vanished when he saw the serious atmosphere, and said,
"Why do I feel like I missed something here?"
Nickie gave me one of her long gaze before shaking her head, "Nothing, Let's go now that you have the keys."
I agreed, walking behind Jaden, not in a mood to talk, feeling the pang of Nickie's stare at me. I was getting sick of it.