(A/N: Again! Ang lahat po ng mababasa nyo sa kabanatang ito ay nagmula lamang sa imahinasyon ng baliw na otor. Shalamatz! 💛☺)
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Wala akong naramdamang sasakyang dumampi sa'kin o maging ang malamig na semento. Wala rin akong nakitang dugong umagos o nakapalibot sa'kin kundi ang sunud sunod na likidong dumaloy mula sa 'king mata at dalawang brasong nakayakap sa'kin habang ang ulo ko'y nakadikit sa kanyang dibdib.
"Sa lahat ng naisip mo, yan ang pinaka tanga sa lahat!" Sigaw nya at saka ako hinila papasok sa isang kotse at Marahas at sobrang bilis nyang magmaneho.
Nakakatawa man, Ngunit wala ni katiting ng takot akong maramdaman. Pakiramdam ko lang ngayon ay ligtas ako. Ligtas ako mula mga taong naging dahilan kung bakit ako ganito.
Nakarating kami sa isang lugar na Hindi ako pamilyar. Pero isang lugar ito kung saan Malaya kang matutong humawak ng baril- - totoong baril. At walang ibang tao rito kundi kaming dalawa ng lalaking to.
Marahas nya akong hinila at dinala sa mga target area. Kung saan doon tatama ang mga bala ng baril. Kumuha sya ng baril at inassemble yun sa loob lamang ng konting segundo at tinutok sa'kin ang nanginginig nyang kamay na may hawak na baril na syang ikinagulat ko. Akala ko ligtas ako ngunit Hindi pala ata.
"GUSTO MO NG MAMATAY DIBA!!!??" Gigil nyang sigaw habang nakatutok parin sa'kin ang baril
"Kung pwede- - -"
"THEN LET ME KILL YOU!!!!"
*bang*bang**bang*bang* *bang*bang**bang*bang*
Nagulat ako ng bigla nyang iputok ang baril nang salitan sa magkabilaang gilid ng ulo ko. At tila naestatwa ako sa kinatatayuan ko dahil f*ck once na gumalaw ako at tatamaan ako!
"ASSHOLE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??"
Sigaw ko ng ihinto nya ang pagbabaril. Ngunit mapakla syang tumawa at masama akong tinignan.
"CAN'T YOU SEE!? I'M TRYING TO GRANT YOUR WISH TO DIE! BUT DAMN HELL! I CAN'T!!!" *blaaaggsh* sigaw nya at binato ng sobrang lakas sa pader ang baril na hawak nya at napaupo nalang sya at isang patak ng luha ang bumagsak sa asul nyang mata at tila ngayon ko palang naramdaman ang panghihina kaya napasalampak na rin ako sa sahig at tiningnan sya habang syay nakayuko at nakakuyom ang kamao.
Asshole what are doing? And why the hell are you - - -
"Y-you're f*ckn' crazy, Jin!" Bigla nyang sabi at nilingon ako. Pareho kaming nakaupo sa sahig at nakasandal sa pader, magkaharap pero magkalayo ngunit dinig namin ang isat isa dahil sa kulob at kami lang dalawa ang naririto. The thing I am confused right now is how did he knew my name?
"What are you saying, asshole?" Kunot noo Kong tanong at lalo pang sumalubong ang kilay ko sa sinabi nya.
"FVCK!! YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH EARLIER!!!"
"A-ano? At bakit naman- - -"
"WALA KA NA BA TALAGANG PAKIALAM AT KATITING NA NARARAMDAMAN, JIN?" Tanong nya at umiling ako.
"H-hindi kita maintindihan! I don't know what you're saying!"
Tumayo sya at biglang naglakad papunta sa'kin and he reach me that easy using his long legs. At ngayon ay nakatayo na sya sa harapan ko.
"Umalis ka at bumalik ng walang dalang ala ala, Jin. But fvck! Pati ba naman nararamdaman mo ay nawala o sadyang wala ka na talagang pakialam?" Sumakit ang ulo ko sa mga pinagsasbi nya dahil wala talaga akong maintindihan. Mayamaya ay naramdaman kong umupo sya sa harap ko at tinitigan akong muli ng kanyang mga asul na mata.
"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW IT KILLS ME EVERY TIME YOU IGNORE ME? EVERYTIME YOU'RE WITH THAT GUY!HUH? AND THAT WAY YOU LOOK AT ME AT FIRST DAY? FVCK IT JIN! I TRIED TO BE COLD, ACT LIKE I DON'T CARE, BUT DAMN! I'VE ENDED UP FOLLOWING AND THINKING OF YOU!" Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya at naramdaman ko nalang na namasa ang pisngi ko at may tumulong luha mula rito. Damn! Why am I crying??
This asshole holds my face and wipe those tears of mine that keeps on falling and damn it! My body can't even move and even complain or resist on what he did. Why? Why am I being like this? Why do I have this effin' weird feeling inside.?? This is shit!
"If your mind can't remember, if your eyes can't recognize, if your skin can't felt the touch of mine, then I'll leave it all to your heart. I'll let your heart do it all..." He said while looking at me directly and suddenly touched my lips using his and my heart started to beat abnormal. Damn! I was shocked but my body seems like have its own mind and found myself responding in the kiss.
Why do I have this fvck'n weird feeling every time I'm with thisguy? I hate him but I need to admit to my self that I somewhat like his presence and even though he says nothing but insults, it still felt me at ease. Why?
At gayon nalang ang pagkadismaya ko ng putulin nya ang Sandaling 'yon at Alam Kong namula ako ng titigan nya ako. Ang akala ko'y magsasalita pa sya pero isang ngisi lang ang nakita ko at may kinuha sya sa bulsa nya.
Isa iyong kwintas na mayro'ng pendant na bilog at sa ibabaw ng bilog na 'yon ay may naka engraved na 'R' .Damn! This is what I saw in his bag and once even in my dream.
"This is you...." Binuksan nya ang pendant at ipinakita ang - - sht! my picture was there! inside that pendant!
"It's yours but you gave it to me...and I'm giving it back to you..." Mahihimigan ang lungkot sa tono ng boses nya at isang patak nanaman ng luha ang tumulo mula sa kanyang asul na mata. Habang sinusuot sa'kin ang kwintas.And sht! It's giving me a weird feeling like I wanna wipe those!
"Now, it's yours again. Ibigay mo nalang ulit sa'kin yan kapag bumalik na ang nararamdaman mo, kapag handa ka ng bumalik sa'kin. And don't try killing yourself again, just kill me instead." At saka sya tumayo at tuluyang lumabas.
...kapag bumalik na ang nararamdaman mo, kapag handa ka ng bumalik sa'kin.
...kapag bumalik na ang nararamdaman mo, kapag handa ka ng bumalik sa'kin.
...kapag bumalik na ang nararamdaman mo, kapag handa ka ng bumalik sa'kin.
...kapag bumalik na ang nararamdaman mo, kapag handa ka ng bumalik sa'kin.
Nagpaulit ulit sa pandinig ko ang salitang yan na binitawan nya at tila isa iyong ipu ipo na gumulo ng utak ko. Tumayo ako para habulin sya pero bigo ako dahil wala na sya sa labas maging ang sasakyan nya. At pabagsak akong naupo sa pinto.
Asshole.....
Gustuhin ko mang umuwi na nguunit tila hinila ang paa ko na muling bumalik sa loob. At gayon na lamang ang gulat ko ng matapat ako sa isang tinted thick glass cabinet doon where my name LOVERHYLL JIN was engraved there. Tinry Kong buksan but I can't because it needed a passcode bago tuluyang mabubuksan 'yon. I've tried typing numbers but hell! Hindi parin bumukas. Damn! I was really and my body was totally curious 'bout what's inside this one! At sa sobrang inis ko ay sinuntok ko ang tinted glass cabinet nayon at nagulat ako ng biglang umilaw ng kulay green ang bahaging nadikitan ng kamao ko at bigla ring umilaw ng kulay pula ang mata ng asong nakaukit doon at may Boses na lumabas and it says:
'I know you'll do it lovey..'
And it's the asshole's voice! Naguguluhan ako! Ang dami Kong tanong sa isip at naiinis ako! What's all of these? Am I still in a real world?
'Type C-A-T, lovey...that's our birthday and monthsarry..'
Month- - what? And how come??
'C...February 3 is your birthday. A February 1 is our monthsarry. T 20 is my birthday'
Nagtatanong man ay inilagay ko pa rin ang mga numerong narinig ko and sht! It opened! When it finally opened, umilaw nanaman ang isang bilog na glass na nasa loob and it requires fingerprint so I've tried using mine and it opens again! Srsly? At ng tuluyan na itong bumukas ay gusto Kong magmura dahil sa bagay na bumungad sa'kin. Damn! I thought there are lot of gold bars inside but a figurine of a dog at sa leeg neto ay may nakasabit na isang flashdrive.
Ng hawakan ko iyon ay umilaw ang bandang likod ng cabinet nayon at may lumabas dooon na saksakan ng USB. Nilagay ko naman iyon doon at isang touch screen ang bumungad sa'kin and there's something popped up
'Remove USB. YES or NO'
Kingina! May lalabas na saksakan ng flash drive at ngayoy magtatanong ng remove - - sht! So what's the purpose of inserting that flash drive? Tss! At sa inis ko at pinindot ko ang NO at ganoon nalang ang paghanga ko ng lumabas ang isang keyboard sa tabi ng saksakan ng flashdrive.
Hindi ko alam kung anong una Kong pipindutin but I end up clicking the documents at gusto ko nanamang magmura ng wala akong makitang laman nito. I was about to click the BACK button when it suddenly blocked. What the heck happened?
And suddenly a short video clip appeared and it played automatically na syang ikinagulat ko kaya napatakip ako sa bibig and my heartbeats suddenly beats abnormal.
It's US. I'm in a video and that asshole was hugging me from the back. And there's a caption written: 'I will always love you LOVERHYLL JIN ZIFYVÉNH '
- RANT DINN DREI ROIHSN
*Loverhyll Jin Zifyvénh pronounce as LAVRIL JIN ZIFIVEYNI
Napanganga ako sa nakita ko. At ng mawala iyon ay sya palang paglabas ng mga files at sobrang daming files at bawat file name ay nandun ang pangalan Kong JIN... But damn! It all requires password. I tried typing but hell! I can't open it! And I don't know anymore what letters I should click.
What's with all of these? What really are we asshole? Or ...do we really have that 'WE'?
**
I'm now on my way to my brother's office to be exact. Yeah he's an engineer and he even owns his own building and I can say that he's already a successful one. He's also one of a well known engineer in the world.
Pumasok ako sa office nya at nadatnan ko syang nakaharap sa laptop nya at nagulat sya ng makita ako. Magsasalita pa lang sana sya ng pangunahan ko na sya.
"I don't care! Let's talk!" Ibinaba nya ang laptop na hawak nya. Umupo ako sa couch and he did the same at ngayoy magkarap na kami.
"So, how are you love? I'm sorry about - - - " I cut him off
"I'm not here for that! Who's RANT. DINN. DREI?" I said directly giving an emphasis to the name at Hindi nya nagawang magsalita agad.
"Love..." That's my nickname that's why he calls me with that.
"I need a damn answer for that shitty question, Kuya!"
"I don't have the right to tell you this and I'm not the one who should explain. But...I'll tell you some things.."
"Go! Say it then!" At saka ko dinampot ang juice nya na nasa table na palagi ko namang ginagawa dati pa. I heard him chuckled and I glared at him.
"I'm waiting..!" At saka ko pabagsak na inilapag ang basong walang ng laman sa glass table nya at sumandal sa sofa with my arms crossed while looking at him, waiting an answer from him.
"Drei..." He paused for a moment
"..he's your boyfriend, love.." Napaayos ako ng upo mula sa pagkakasandal. The eff- -!
I already have a clue from those I've seen in the cabinet but I'm still surprised to hear it directly from kuya's mouth and damn it!
"How? Why didn't I know? And - - damn!! Explain it all to me!" Sigaw ko dahil naguguluhan ang utak ko and I don't even know if there's still a space reserved for the new things that I would know.
"He's your boyfriend back then since you were in a junior high grade 10 to be exact. But after the ceremony of those completers, you and xyrhyll planned to have a vacation in France and during your vacation there, you two got into an accident and you lost your memory..." I-i lost my memory? Sht! Napailing ako.
"Why can't I remember? "
"Dahil nawalan ka nga ng memorya, love..''
"Damn! I mean why? Why until now, I can't remember a thing?"
Yeah! I know them, at sila lang ang kilala ko and I don't know about the other thing. They helped me remember things but they never mentioned that asshole. Yeah! I remember things but only those save in mind. Things I've did last year (when we're in grade 11) at wala nang iba.
Is that what he says 'bumalik ako ng walang dalang ala ala?'
"..and why didn't you all tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"That asshole!" Umiwas sya ng tingin.
"That's not a story for I to tell,love..."
"Ano pang Hindi ko Alam?"
"What?"
"Yung pangalan ko...totoo bang 'yon ang pangalan ko?"
"Hell yes! That's your name!"
"..kapatid nyo ba talaga ako?"
"Damn of course! What kind of questions are that?"
"Just asking...who knows? maybe I'm just an orphan who lost memory or just a person who lost memory at pinulot lang sa basurahan that's why you all can easily kick me out like that" Hindi ko na sya hinintay pang magsalita dahil tuluyan na akong lumabas at pabagsak na Sinara ang pinto.
I leaned on a wall and shook my head.
Damn all of these shit!
Ang gulo na nga ng buhay ko, pati utak ko ba naman? Tss!