Hi, I'm Joshua and I want to tell you about my high school experience.
I attend JS charter school. The school is strict and sometimes I long to go to public school. Free to wear whatever I want to wear. Anyway, let's start the story. Ready here we go
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I made many friends this year and they are nice people. We tell each other everything however there is just one secret no one knows. I have not told anyone this.
{This story talks about the secret within}
For my entire life, I have been keeping this secret because I am so afraid of what everyone is going to think and how I'm going to be treated differently by not just everyone but also my friends and family. What if they don't want to be friends anymore or if I am bullied because of who I am?
Let me just say it. For the first time, I am saying this. I AM GAY.
It feels good to say it out loud. I also have another secret. I have a crush on my guy friend. His name is Noah. We have been friends for 4 years. We were friends since middle school after I accidentally spilled my lunch on him. Weird I know but that's how our friendship began. I started liking him after a year of knowing each other. Whenever we would hug or when we were changing after gym class. All I could think about was the sweat coming off his body. Anyhoo, after hiding my feelings for so long I wanted to tell him, but I needed to become safe in my own skin. I needed to come out as gay. I needed to tell my friends and my family members. If they were my true friends, they wouldn't care if I were gay or not. They would support me no matter what.
First, I told my family members and though at first, they were shocked they told me no matter who I am or who I liked they would love me unconditionally. That was smooth but the hardest part was telling my friends. Hopefully, my friends wouldn't care either. Especially Noah.
I went to school and I told my friend Emily first. We became friends during our freshman year of high school. We became somewhat close as well. When I told Emily, she looked kind of down but then she cheered up and told me I'm still her friend and she would support me and always be by my side.
I then rushed through the hallways looking for Noah. The one person whose opinion mattered the most out of anyone. I saw him standing there looking hot I tell you. I walked up to him and he asked me what was wrong. I went into detail and when I finally said those words, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders. He looked at me for a second and said nothing. He just walked away from me. I thought he needed time.
It's been four weeks and still nothing from Noah. He has been avoiding me. I realized he needed more time.
It's been months and nothing. Not a text, or a hello. I gave up trying. If he didn't want to be friends with me and accept me for who I am. I didn't need him in my life. Although it hurt to cut my longtime friend out of my life. I needed to. Cause even if I kept thinking about him, he never thought about me.
And that is my high school experience.
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ALWAYS BE YOUR TRUE SELF AND IF SOMEONE DOESN'T ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE IT DOESN'T MATTER. DON'T CHANGE YOURSELF FOR THEM. TRUE FRIENDS ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT.
XOXO