The cops—they'ew two, and I'm just going to call them "A" and "B"—approach us.
And we move back.
"Good morning" says A. He's tall, thin and too young and happy for his job. It's like he thinks he can change this horrible, horrible society, "we received a complain about some loud music on this address.
Hamano-san grabs Izumi and me by the nape and pushes us downwards so we apologize with her.
"Sorry, sorry, it was just a little bit of music, and we won't do it anymore, we're really sorry."
"Yeah, sorry or whatever," I say.
"We're so, so, sorry, "says Khanna-san and bows, "but we had already turned off the music, and this lady kept yelling and insulting and knocking down the door and it didn't seems she was going to leave us alone."
And Izumi just yawns.
Wow, and I thought I was the cynical of the club.
"But you still turned it on," replies B, and we raise pur heads. He's short, a little chubby, old, and grumpy. He's a real cop; I mean, society horrible, and he deals witht the worst of it every single day. Why would he be happy? "And this ma'am said you attacked her.
"YEAH, THOSE FILTHY BITCHES, ATTACKED ME!" Miss Crazy points at us and keeps saying her usual nonsense.
Why do the cops even bother with her? She's clearly crazy.
"Ma'am, ma'am, there's no need to insult anyone," says A.
"Don't interrupt 'er," yells B.
"Mendō kuse," Izumi whispers one of her otaku phrases.
"LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER AND SHUT UP," miss Crazy yells at A, "BECAUSE I'VE BEEN HERE FOR LIKE AN HOUR," yeah, sure, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHO'S MY HUSBAND?!
"Yes, ma'am."
"OF COURSE YOU DO, CAUSE HE CAN GET YOU FIRED THIS FAST!" Miss Crazy starts snapping her fingers at A's face. "SO YOU'D BETTER LISTEN TO ME AND TAKE DOWN THOSE FILTHY WHORES WHO ATTACKED ME AND MY DOG!"
"Oh, really?" What she said it's just BS, and I'm going to prove it. "Did we attacked it like this?" I approach Zotrina, the teenage witch, and when it sees me, it lays face up, and shows me a belly that I immediately start petting.
Sotoka-san and Izumi start petting it too.
"Arrest us, officers," I say. "It's a massacre."
A laughs silently. And he's not the only one; there's who knows how many people around the house staring at us. Some of them are even recording everything with their phones.
Normally I'd get mad at them for not minding their own business, but now I'm glad they see us as the victims we are.
And maybe Khanna-san the same, because she starts petting Zotrina, the teenage witch, too.
She's petting it mechanically and emotionlessly.
And that's creepy.
"FUCK OFF!" miss Crazy yells, "AND WHO TOLD YOU TO RECORD ME?! STOP RECORDING ME! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO MY HUSBAND IS?! AND YOU," she's talking to us, "STOP PETTING MY FUCKING DOG WOTH YOUR FILTHY HANDS!"
Yeah, yeah, just shut up already, miss.
"Could you stop petting the dog, please?" Asks B. "Its owner didn't give you permission to pet it."
Ok, ok, we stop petting Zotrina, the teenage witch, and stand up.
Zotrina, the teenage witch, sits down and stares at us while she gasps with her tongue out.
I'm sorry, Zotrina, the teenage witch, but your owner is a crazy and grumpy bitch who doesn't want you to be happy even for a couple of minutes.
Zotrina, the teenage witch, sometimes gets on two legs and leans on any of us; smells us and licks our hands and clothes. But still we can't pet it.
Are you happy now, B?
"GET AWAY FROM THEM!" miss Crazy pulls Zotrina, the teenage witch's leash, and Zotrina, the teenage witch, squeals and falls down.
And the people around us finally do something.
"What's wrong with you, you crazy bitch?!"
"It's just a dog, leave it alone!"
"Why don't you cops arrest her instead?!"
"That's animal cruelty!"
"Those girls are innocent!"
"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, IT'S MY DOG, AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH IT! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO MU HUSBAND IS?!" miss Crazy approaches them and threats them, but they immediately surround her and start recording her. "LEAVE ME ALONE! AND DON'T TOUCH ME, OU FILTHY NOBODYS! AND WHO THE FUCK DID TELL YOU TO RECORD ME?!"
"Anyway," says B. "Get the girls and leave."
"What?!" I ask. "Why?!"
"First, don't yell at me," B gets too close to me, and second, you turned that weird music on. We heard you."
And the people around us don't like his attitude.
"Hey, stop it!"
"They ain't doing nothing!"
"They're just some girls!"
"Fucking cop!"
"Why don't you arrest this crazy bitch instead!"
And miss Crazy says:
"MY HUSBAND'S ON HIS WAY, YOU FILTHY FUCKS!"
"Like we care!" yells someone.
"Why don't you just fuck off?!"
"Nobody wants to here!"
"You're a fucking Karen!"
"Take them away," B orders A, "everything's their fault."
"No, it actually is the miss' fault," says Khanna-san with her usual emotionlessness. "She's the one who called you and caught everyone's attention. And if I'm wrong why's everyone surrounding her? And shouldn't you be protecting her or arresting her?"
"Look, kid, don't be a smart ass 'cause I could ask you why you aren't at school."
"And what does that have to do with anything?" I ask because obviously we aren't going to tell him we got suspended.
But what else can we say?
"We're Tokyo U students," Sotoka-san immediately answers my question. And what an amazing answer, to be honest. Where did she get the idea?"
Oh, yeah, from Izumi's hoodie.
"We're working on a project," Sotoka-san continues.
"Are you sure you're not from high school?" asks B with a smirk, like he knows we're lying.
"Do we look like high-schoolers?" Asks Khanna-san, the only one of who doesn't look like a high-schooler.
"She does," B points at me, the only one of us who looks like a middle-schooler.
"It's not my fault to be like this!" I cry. "Do you think I want to look like a little girl?! Do you think I love to look up every time I'm speaking to someone my age?! I hate it! I look like a little kid playing grow up! Why can't I be like everybody else?!"
Everyone but B—he's just too rotten for this world—stare at me moved. Ha, they're so gullible.
"Oh, sorry, sorry," A bows and apologizes and everything. "We don't want to make you feel bad."
"But if you're college students," says B, "why aren't you at college?"
"Yeah, about that," says Sotoka-san. "We were just helping out Izumi-chan in her thesis, right, Izumi-chan?"
"I've barely slept in the past three days," says Izumi with a smile, and knowing her, maybe it's true.
And that's worrisome.
And also her fault.
"Ok, ok," interrupts B, "first you said it was a project, and now's a thesis?"
"All thesis are projects, sir," says Khanna-san with her never-ending emotionlessness. Is she really brave or really stupid?
Probably stupid.
But who knows? Someone who thinks that much can't be that stupid, right?
"I've told not to be a smart ass," B gets very close to Khanna-san and points at her threateningly. "And what's this thesis about?"
Khanna-san doesn't say anything. She's surely thinking about all possible answers, their pros and cons, its effectiveness and who knows what else, when she only has to answer something. Anything.
She's really, really stupid.
And I guess I got to help her out.
"Anime," I say, "about the impact of anime culture in XXI century society."
And I know, it sounds like the worst thesis there is, but we all know Izumi would work in something like that."
"Yes," Izumi confirms it, "it's called 'ANIME LIFE.'"
"I didn't ask you," B glares at us. "And why didn't you answered?" Tells Khanna-san.
"Because they already did, and that's the reason we had anime music at high volume: to study its effect on people. It's not very good, apparently.
"Whatever. Get them on the car," B orders A. "Now."
"But it was just some music," says A.
"I don't care! Get them!"
The people surrounding us obviously don't like this.
"HEY, THEY WANT TO TAKE THE GIRLS!"
"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, LEAVE THEM ALONE!"
"JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN'T FIGHT BACK, RIGHT?!"
"YOU ARE ALWAYS AGAINST THE PEOPLE! YOU DISGUST ME!"
"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY WIFE?! LEAVE HER ALONE, YOU FILTHY FUCKS!"
"WHY DID YOU TOOK SO LONG?! LOOK WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO ME! I'VE BEEN HERE FOR LIKE TWO HOURS! AND IT'S BECAUSE OF THOSE GIRLS!"
"I ALREADY TOLD THE CAPTAIN TO COME AND ARREST THEM ALL!"
"BUT FIRST GET THOSE FILTHY BITCHES!" She's referring to us.
So, Sotoka-san takes refuge in A's chest and starts crying.
"Please, help us! We were just doing a project, and we didn't know it was going to end this way, please, that lady over there has been yelling at us and threating us and insulting us all day long, and we're so scared, and we put the music that high to shut her up, to be honest, because we didn't really know what else to do, so, please, help us…"
A's face just gets redder and redder. And he does absolutely nothing to help Sotoka-san—and us— out.
But people do.
"YOU NOTHERFUCKERS! ONLY AGAINST THE PEOPLE, EH?"
"SHE'S SO CUTE, AND YOU MADE HER CRY!"
"THEY'RE JUST COLLEGE STUDENTS! LEAVE THEM ALONE!"
"FUCKING NEPOTISM!"
"WE'RE TIRED OF YOUR ABUSES!"
"NAZE?! Izumi yells at B "WHY DID YOU MAKE SOTOKA-CHAN CRY, KUSO YARŌ?!"
Izumi runs towards B, but I grab her by the back and clench her as hard as possible.
But Izumi twists and pulls my arms to let her go.
God dammit, Izumi, why are you so strong? And dumb?
"IZUMI, NO, IZUMI, NO!" I cry. "KHANNA-SAN, HELP ME OUT!"
Khanna-san approaches us and also grabs Izumi as tight as she can.
"LET ME GO, HE MADE SOTOKA-CHAN CRY!"
"If you attack that policeman, we'll all be in trouble, Izumi Natsumura," says Khanna-san.
Then someone his miss Crazy's husband in the back of his head and brings him down, and everyone start to kick him. B tries to save him by hitting everyone with his baton, but people surround him and start to hit him from every possible angle.
Sotoka-san immediately lets A go and runs towards us. Her face doesn't have any single tear.
"Let's go!" She yells at us and never stops running.
And we follow her.
We can hear sirens in the distance.
And we run even faster. Until:
"Hold on… hold on… please…" I know what you're thinking and no, that's not me, but Khanna-san. She's on her knees and with her hands on her thighs.
Ha, it seems her physical condition sucks.
But we really needed a little rest, anyway.
Then, Sotoka-san grabs her by the shoulders and tells her:
"Khanna-san, get up, get up, the police are going to find us—
"I can't " can barely say Khanna-san "…we're probably… safe for now."
"Get up and let's go, still," says Sotoka-san. "Even if we're just walking, let's go."
"Ok," says Khanna-san, and Sotoka-san helps her get up.
And we start walking but:
"Were are we going?" I ask.
"I would say as far as possible from here," says Khanna-san, still panting.
I almost feel bad for you.
"And where's that?" I ask.
"That doesn't make any sense," she replies.
"You don't say. But you know what makes less sense? Your physical condition. It sucks."
"Look who's talking," says Sotoka-san.
"Shut up. I'm not that tired."
"But it makes sense", says Khanna-san. "I'm thin and my health's perfect. Why would I do exercise if my body doesn't needed? Now that wouldn't make any sense," she replies.
"Yeah, sure, whatever,��� says Sotoka-san. "We have to hide for the rest of the day, so we can, I don't know, go to the karaoke or the mall to investigate what we talked about, right?"
"That's a great idea," Khanna-san's says. "But where's a karaoke? I've never been in one."
"There's one at the mall, let's go," says Sotoka-san.
And we go to the mall. Even though I don't know how's that going to help us; we're unpopular, and do the things popular people do just to get along with them and maybe recruit them seems pretty fake and it disgusts me.
But they seem pretty fake and disgust me.
And, as long as we're not at Izumi's place surrounded by manga and loud anime music, it's fine.
But, wait, we're going to a karaoke.
With Izumi.
All day long.
.
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Oh, god.