"STOP IT, LET ME GO! SHE'S MY SOTOKA-CHAN! GET SOMEONE ELSE!"
"Shut up, Natsumura-san!"
"Yeah, just leave."
"You're just embarrasing yourself."
"And you smell like a wet dog. Gross."
"Hahahaha, she does smell like a wet dog."
"That's probably how tanukis smell."
"Hahahahaha."
"Hahahaha."
"Shut up!" I cry. "It was Ino's fault!"
"How? She filled you with poop or what?"
"SHUT UP! ¡SOTOKA-CHAN'S IN MY CLUB AND NOT YOURS!"
"Maybe, but you still smell like shit."
"SO DO YOU!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET HER OFF ME!"
"Let her go, Natsumura-san."
"Damned Nuki-chan. Hey, you grab her left arm, and I'll grab her right."
"Ok."
"Now pull!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, KAMI-SAMA-CHAN, TASUKETE!"
"Grab 'er tight."
"Hey, look: Nuki-chan looks like one of those mudded pigs who run and squeal and nobody can catch."
"Hahahahahaha, word."
"Hey, come on and help us!"
"Nah, you're good."
"Fuck off, then."
"Just leave, Natsumura-san. Hamano-san doesn't want to be with you."
"Yeah, who would want to be aruond someone as annying, anyway?"
"SHE'S MY SOTOKA-CHAN!"
"And what's that anime life? A bunch of bullshit, I'm sure."
"ANIME LIFE's the best club in the god dammned universe!"
"Hahaha, what's that shit?"
"The best club in the god dammned universe!"
"You mean the shittiest club. It's not like Hamano-san wants to be part of it."
"Yeah, that's why she's coming back to cooking club."
"Theatre club, you mean."
"Please, she's obviously joining the dance club."
"Who would want to join that?!"
"Nobody gives a fuck about that shitty club!"
"Says the one in the Kendo club!"
"Hey, don't mess with the Kendo club, you fuck, or I'll kick your fucking ass!"
"Get your shitty-ass sword first, and it's not like Hamano-san would join your club, anyway."
"WHAT DIDJA SAY, YOU ASSHOLE?! HAMANO-SAN'LL JOIN THE KENDO CLUB!"
"YOU WISH, DICKFACE, SHE'S JOINING US!"
"KEEP TALKING, YOU WHORES, IN THE END SHE'LL JOIN THE DANCE CLUB!"
"DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, YOU COCK!"
"OR WHAT?!"
"COME ON, BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOURSELVES!"
"YEAH, YEAH, BEAT IT!"
"SHUT UP, DICKHEADS, AND YOU'LL BETTER FUCK OFF OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASSES!"
"YOU WISH, YOU FUCKER!"
"YOU SURE? TAKE THIS, BITCH!"
"AHHHHHHHH!"
"HAHAHAHA, RIGHT IN HIS MOUTH!"
"YOU'RE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER!"
"NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT, AHHHHHH!"
"YOU LIKED IT, HUH?!"
"HEY, STOP IT!"
"SHUT UP, YOU FUCKFACE!"
"COME AND SHUT ME UP, JACKASS!"
"HEY, HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Fujimoto-san, we just…"
"It was Natsumura-san's fault. She started it."
"You again, Natsumura-san? What was it now?"
"I didn't do anything, it's just they wanted to take Sotoka-chan away!"
"How many times I've told you not to yell?!"
"Tell 'em to leave my Sotoka-chan alone!"
"I'm sorry, Fujimoto-san, it was my fault," says Sotoka-chan while doing a lot of reverences. "I'm sorry," Sotoka-chan takes my hand and we run through the hallways until we ge tinto the first classroom we find.
We are now alone.
"SOTOKA-CHAN!" And I hug her, and she yells (she always does,) and I then let her go.
"Gomen, Sotoka-chan," I tell her. "Sometimes I forget you hate hugs, and I'm so dirty and—
"Izumi-san," Sotoka-chan interrupts me, "it's not like I hate hugs or anything—I just hugged you a little while because I was really glad to see you—it's just that, I don't like to be touched. And, besides, hugs are almost never sincere."
????
"Look: sometimes they're formal, like when they congratulate you for your birthday or someting. They mean nothing. But they're hypocrite a lot of times because they come from hypocrites who just hug you to make you believe they love you and they're close to you when they actually hate you and throw shade at you and do everything they can to screw you over. I hate them. But the hugs I hate the most are the ones with bad intent."
"Bad intent? They're too tight or…?"
"No, that's your hugs," Sotoka-chan smiles—and she looks so beautiful, by the way!
"Gomen ):"
"Hey, don't worry. You hug like that because you like hugs. But these ones are different. You have never been hugged like that?"
"No."
"You're lucky because these hugs are, I don't know, like they're harassing you or something. It's so gross and uncomfortable. I hate them more than anything."
Sotoka-chan sighs and lies down on the floor. I lie down by her side.
"That's why hugs are almost always a bad omen. But not yours, and that's why maybe I can try a little harder to get used to them. It's going to take a long, long while, though. I really, really hate to be touched. I really, really do. Every time someone touches me I want to scream and cry and hit him as hard as I can, and leave me alone and—sorry, sorry. But maybe after a long, long time I could get to enjoy your hugs."
Wait. Did I hear right? Does Sotota-chan really enjoys my hugs?
.
.
.
.
.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," I yell excitedly and lie on top of her and hug her, and she yells (she always does) and: "I'M SO EXCITEDSO EXCITEDSOEXCITEDSOEXCITED ¡ARIGATŌGOZAIMASHITA, SOTOKA-CHAN," and happiness is so I can't help crying, "DAISUKI DAISUKI DAISUKIDESU, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS GOD DAMNED UNIVERSE, EVEN MANGA AND ANIME, BUT THOSE ARE IN SECOND PLACE, BUT YOU WIN BY A MILE AND BACK—
"Izumi-san, Izumi-san, you're crushing me!" Yells Sotoka-chan.
"OH, GOMEN, GOMEN, GOMEN'NASAI," and I lie aside, "BUT YOU TOLD ME YOU WANTED TO GET USED TO MY HUGS, AND THAT'S THE BEST THING SOMEONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME AND—
"It's ok, Izumi-chan," Sotoka-chan gets a little closer to me and grabs my hand. Her hand and her voice and her everything's so soft and warm and beautigul and pure and loving, and that's really the best thing someone has ever said and done to me and— "Oh, don't cry, Izumi-chan. It's gonna take me a while and all, but I want to get used to your hugs."
"Even if I smell like a wet dog?" I ask her. I dunno if I smell like that, but they said so.
Sotoka-chan smiles, and her smile is more than beautiful.
"Yes, even if you smell like a wet dog. I smell like that too. And dogs are cute: they're sincere and good intentioned. Like you. That's why I rather hug you than go back to the other clubs."
"What did they do to you, then?" Someone says, and we turn to this someone, and it turns out it's Ino. Now her uniform's dry and it doesn't have the chalk marks anymore.
"Hi, Ino-san. Where were you?"
Ino crosses her arms and looks elsewhere."
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"She went to change her clothes with Nagai-san," I say 'cause that's what happened.
"Why? What happened?" Sotoka-chan asks.
I tell her all the story.
And she laughs.
"So Nagai-san ended up changing your clothes, right, Ino?"
"No, she didn't!" Ino yells, and her face blushes so, so hard. "I told her I didn't need her, but she insisted and insisted, and I ended up locking myself at the bathroom!"
Sotoka-chan laughs even harder.
Me too.
"Shut up!" Ino yells. "That crazy bitch almost rape me or something!"
Sotoka-chan laughs even harder.
Me too.
"And everything's your fault, Izumi: if you'd really cleaned the windows as you were supposed to, none of this would have hapened."
"I did clean the windows, and also I had to clean everything at the end 'cause you left me alone."
"And it surely ended up dirtier somehow," says that freakin' liar and heads to the door and:
"No, don't leave, Ino-san," Sotoka-chan says and yawns—and she looks so kawaii that way! "We'll go clean later."
Ino sighs.
"Fine," and stays.
"Hey, and how did you find us?" Sotoka-chan asks her.
"Well, this is where we went the first time, when this one," Ino glances at me, "thought about the club. And also is so close to the exit, and I was about to leave, but I heard the '¡ARIGATOSHOSHAIMASTER, SOTOKA-CHAN!' and who else could it be? But, anyway, what did they do to you, Sotoka-san?"
Sotoka-chan shakes her head.
"See them again made me remember why I left those clubs in the first place."
"Why? What happened? I just got here, you know?" Ino asks.
Sotoka-chan sighs, and tells Ino everything that happened to her:
"So I was at the school's entrance with the flyers, and they showed up and begged me to get back to their clubs, and I rejected them because I can't really stand them. Well, I didn't actually tell them this last part, but I really can't stand stand them."
"And you can stand Izumi?" Ino asks, and that's a really dumb question, even though she can't stand my hugs either, and I hug her all the time, so maybe she can barely stand me. No, no, she told me she wanted to get used to my hugs, so she really likes me, and I'm sure she'll say that in 3...
2...
1...
"Yeah. But just barely, though," she says, and so it's true and:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH, KAMI-SAMA-CHAN, TASUKETE KUDASAI! YOU'RE MEAN, SOTOKA-CHAN!" I yell and cry and suffer and try to get away from her.
:'(
"YOU'RE MEAN!"
But she hugs me.
And I could get off her grasp, but why should I?
"There, there, Izumi-san."
"CHAN, CHAN, CALL ME IZUMI-CHAN, SOTOKA-CHAN, AND YOU'RE MEAN!"
"Ok, Izumi-chan, then. But I was just kidding. If I couldn't stand you I wouldn't be here so close to you."
"But she said she can just barely stand you, Izumi. Don't forget it."
"Shut up, Ino," Sotoka-chan replies. "You only say that because you really need a hug."
"She can ask Nagai-san for one," I say.
And Sotoka-chan laughs.
"Oh, yeah, they're BFF's now, right?"
"SHUT UP! AND EVERYTHING WAS YOUR FAULT, IZUMI! I EVEN HAT TO USE MY BACK UP UNIFORM!"
Sotoka-chan laughs.
"You have a backup uniform?"
"Yes, and I'm not wet or smell like shit anymore, so take that, you two."
"Ok... Izumi-chan," Sotoka-chan just called me Izumi-chan…
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, SOTOKA-CHAN JUST CALLED ME IZUMI-CHAN! ♫IZUMI-CHAN♫ ♫IZUMI-CHAN♫ ♫SOTOKA-CHAN JUST CALLED ME IZUMI-CHAN♫"
"Focus, Izumi-chan."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, SOTOKA-CHAN JUST CALLED ME IZUMI-CHAN AGAIN! ♫IZUMI-CHAN♫ ♫IZUMI-CHAN♫ ♫SOTOKA-CHAN JUST CALLED ME IZUMI-CHAN REMIX! TU-TU-TU TUTU-TU-TU WAHWAH WAH WAH♫"
"Stop, Izumi-san!" Sotoka-chan's laughing. "Just get up and hug Ino!"
"WHAT?! WHY WOULD I WANT HER DISGUSTING HUGS ANYWAY!?" and Ino keeps complaining, but I get up and salute.
"¡Yes, sir, ma'am, Sotoka-chan-sama!" I turn towards Ino. "HUG ME, BEIBI!" and I run towards her with my arms wide open.
And she runs around the classroom, and I'm chasing her, and she can't stop yelling things such:
"STOP, IZUMI, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, AND I MEAN IT, I DON'T WANNA SWEAT! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"
And she runs slower and slower until she stops.
She must be exhausted.
"Stop it… stop it… or I'll… never ever… forgive you"
But I still get closer and closer to her, no hurries, one step after the other.
"If you get any closer... I'm going to scream... and hit you... as hard as I can."
"Leave her alone, Izumi-chan," says Sotoka-chan, and I obey her.
"You could told her that earlier," complains Ino, still exhausted.
"Or I could told her nothing at all," replies Sotoka-chan.
"I hate you both," cries Ino.
"Sorry, sorry, come here with me," Sotoka-chan pats a piece of floor beside her. "It's comfy."
"And cold and dirty. No, thanks," says Ino.
"No," I reply, "it's so comfy," and I lie where I was before to get another hug from Sotoka-chan.
But I get nothing in return.
"I'm not gonna lay there," Ino takes a chair, get near where we are, puts the chair there and sits. And now what?" She asks.
"I don't know," replies Sotoka-chan. "Want to go somewhere else?"
"WE COULD GO TO THE ANIME CAFÉ TO WATCH SOME ANIME AND REED SOME MANGA AND DRINK SOME COFFEE AND EAT SOME CAKE OR CRÉPES, OR WE CAN GO TO THE MOVIES, AND WATCH—
"No one wants to watch whatever you were about to say," says Ino, even though that's not true. "And we have to go clean the classroom."
Sotoka-chan sighs and stands up.
"Fine, we'll go cleaning, and then we'll see where we go," Sotoka-chan says, and we stand up and go to the classroom, and everything's super clean and sparkly 'cause I cleaned it up, and we leave.