"I want you to be mine. I wrote you love letters and I know you may not ever read them but I want you to know that they exist. And I want you to see me for who I am. Not just some girl you know. Wanna be more than just a friend. I wanna be yours to hold and to love and to just exist with. I don't want you to hate me I just want you to see me. I wanna be the Bonnie to your Clyde. And I want to know that you didn't want to see me as some annoying girl. I wanted you to see ME. Not just some girl you know. Or just your girlfriend's best friend." Those were words. My words. Words that represented something larger than life to me.
As I typed them in my messages app to send to him I stopped and read them again and then I deleted them because I was being forward. I was scared that he wouldn't talk to me again. She was my best friend and I was in love with her boyfriend. She would hate me and he would never talk to me again. Neither of them would. It's not my fault I fell for someone else. I was in love with that guy before I had even met him. I loved my boyfriend too but not the way I loved the person who was making my best friend so happy right now. And, unbeknownst to him, me too. But I don't think I told you the full story of how I got here.
Hi! I'm Brittney and my life is kinda a little crazy. Let's start from the beginning. My best friend Eliza and her boyfriend Brian have been dating for about 5 months before all of this started happening. I was in a relationship when it started but not anymore. My ex, Karter, cheated on me with someone (I don't know who) and we broke up. He was a great guy and I loved him but I was kinda happy when we broke up. It was kinda...freeing to know that I was single again. He was my first and only boyfriend and I kinda liked living single. It was like the weight of being a girlfriend was lifted off my shoulders. It's like i was meant to be single because being a girlfriend was stressful to me. I felt like I always had to be my best for him. But when I ended it I felt like I was free to do whatever I wanted with no one to disapprove and the fact that he cheated made me feel sad because I felt like my best wasn't enough. After the break up I was depressed for about 3 months but after that time I was feeling like myself again. And I was going on a night out with my friends. My other 2 friends Priya and Lane (both girls) had planned this after I told them how I had been recently and they told me that they were taking me and Eliza out because neither of us had been out in months.
" I just wanna stay home with Bryan." Eliza said pouting over the group FaceTime that they were on.
"Ohhh nooo. If I'm going you're going too, Eliza. Of you leave me alone with them I will never forgive you." Brittney announces ti the group.
"We're right here ya know." Lane says as she and Priya roll their eyes.
"We know. But Eliza is literally speaking for me too. i just wanna stay home and relax. I'll go out when I'm ready." Brittney said taking a deep breathe.
"You guys are coming whether you like it or not because we're already at your houses and we aren't leaving until you guys get dressed and come out with us." Priya said into her phone before hanging up. After a few seconds Brittney heard a knock at her door. Lane had hung up too and was knocking on Eliza and Brian's door. Unsurprisingly both were being ignored while the other two talked to each on the phone.
After a while Brittney got up and reluctantly opened the door. As she did her friend walked in and immediately went into her closet and choosing an outfit for her to wear.
After a few seconds Priya was trying to persuade Brittney to put in the outfit.
"I'm not going Priya. And that's final." Brittney said as she put the outfit away and ushered Priya out of her house.
"Cmon Britt you haven't been out in months. Have a little fun or else I'll tell Bryan and Eliza your little secret." Priya said. Brittney, being excellent at controlling her facial expressions, looked at Priya and laughed.
"Oh Priya that was a funny one but I have no secrets. I'm an open book. You know that." Brittney said through small fits of laughter gat was concealing the fact that she was completely losing it on the inside.
"You won't be laughing when i tell Bryan that you love him." Priya said aloud. That got Brittney to stop laughing....