"I think we need to add a little pitch correction right here." I say to my producer and we listened to the playback for the song I just recorded. Music is my first love, without it I don't think my sanity would hold on much longer. Seems like the studio is the only place I can find myself since I broke it off with Nyla. I put my hurt in my music this caused me to be held up in the studio for months.
Things weren't always great with me and Nyla, we were good by all appearances. I never hurt her, I never cheated on her and the only lie I've ever told was about me pushing weight. I kept it a stack with her at all times. The only thing I couldn't give her was the amount of time I gave my career. I'm a man a real man and I can admit that, that was my biggest fault not having time for her. I didn't expect her to cheat on me though. Send a couple crazy texts, flatten my tire I never expected her to cheat. I always expected and thought she was better than that.It's been almost 8 months and I still can't forget or forgive what I saw that day. I still want to kill that nigga.
••••
It was 11pm and I was leaving a show in Dallas headed straight back to Houston. I was dead tired and had a three hour trip ahead of me I planned on sleeping the whole way. I decided to call Nyla first but she didn't answer. I loaded my stuff into the truck before getting in. I didn't think twice about Nyla not answering I figured she was probably sleep.
I climbed into the backseat and made myself comfortable as my driver started the drive back to Houston.
I woke up about an hour later, looking at the time I seen we still had about two hours before we got back to Houston, I noticed I had a missed call from Nyla it was only five minutes old so I called her back. "Hey baby." I smiled hearing her soft voice through the phone. My smile immediately changed when I heard what I thought was a kiss. I sat there silent for a second trying to listen to see if I heard anything else. "What's wrong why are you so quiet?" Listening more, I heard the sound again, then a third time. "Nothing baby I'm good, I was just calling to tell you that we left the show pretty late and we jus' gon' get a room in Dallas and drive back in the morning." I knew I was coming back but she didn't have to. "Okay that's fine, how was the show?" That's fine, the Nyla I know wouldn't have obliged so quickly. "Same as always but, look I'm tired, I'm going back to sleep I was just calling to check on you" I said wanting the conversation to be over. Maybe it could've been the tv she always kept the tv on all night or I was just hearing shit. Either way I knew I'd figure it out in the morning. "Okay, love you" she said quickly before hanging up. What was the rush for she didn't even give me time to respond.
I laid back on the seat and closed my eyes and put my arm under my head, staring at the ceiling in my truck I wondered what was going on with Nyla. She was never short with me on the phone and what about the noises I heard. My mind wondered so much so that I couldn't sleep anymore. I looked at the time again seeing that we had about an hour and twenty minutes left before we got back to Houston. Pulling up the notes app on my phone I decided to write some music to kill time.
We pulled up to my community gate around 4:15am. I was heated but ready to go in the house. Part of me wanted to hear see and believe that what I was thinking wasn't true. We were together for almost 6 years I just knew Nyla wasn't the type of woman to step out or cheat. As we came around to my house I noticed an all black hummer in my driveway and the other part of me knew better. I told my driver to slow down and stop two houses down from mine. I thought maybe it was her sisters car still not wanting to believe what was so obviously clear, Raven didn't have a hummer let alone a truck at all.
I lived in a gated community so the streets were extremely quiet in the middle of the night. I got out my truck not closing the door all the way so it wouldn't make any noise. I walked the short distance down to my house.
Once I got there I stopped for a second and looked at the truck wondering who's it was. I approached the front door and as quietly as I could I unlocked it and slowly pushed it open making sure it didn't swing or hit the door stop. I took my shoes off an quietly walked through the foyer not seeing anyone in the living room, then I walked to the kitchen and dining room still no one so I checked the den and my office again no one was there. I walked up the semi spiral staircase leading upstairs. I checked every guest room before going down the hall to me and Nyla's room.
Something stopped me at the door, stopping I pressed my ear against it to listen. I heard snoring, Nyla doesn't snore. That confirmed what I already knew, not able to control the anger I felt I swung the door open "This what the fuck we doing now Nyla!" I yelled at the top of my lungs not caring who heard. The houses in my community aren't too closely built so I doubt anyone could really hear me. Nyla lifted her head she still had sleep in her eyes until she seen me standing in the doorway. She turned on the lamp next to the bed and her eyes went wide. "Kevin you said you wouldn't be back till later" her voice shook in fear as she tried to explain herself. "Who is this in my house Nyla?" It took everything in my not to flash out a beat that nigga ass. I glared at him as he wasn't getting his shit on fast enough "Aye my nigga I'm sparing you, hurry the fuck up and get out my house" I went over to our closet and started grabbing suit cases. "and, take her with you" I said grabbing all of Nyla's things and putting them inside.
"Kevin" Nyla said starting to cry. I hated seeing her like that but tears couldn't get her out of this. "Kevin I'm sorry, please just let me talk to you" she pleaded trying to grab me while I collected her things. "Talk about what Ny, you can't explain away the shit I just saw, it is a nigga that ain't me in my house in my bed!" I screamed getting angrier with every word. She grabbed my arm again and I turned and glared at her. "How long?" I asked her deep down I was hoping it was just a hookup a one night stand type of thing maybe it'll soften the blow. I looked in her eyes and asked again "Ny how long?" She put her head down looking away from me. "A year" she said quietly. I felt a lump in my throat, a year just kept repeating in my head. I went back to gathering her shit blinking away the tears in my eyes.
I walked back into the bedroom with more of Nyla's stuff. "I'll send the rest of your stuff to wherever you go, I want you out my house before I get back" I said leaving her there crying. I left the house, I seen that the hummer wasn't in the driveway anymore. "Kevin just wait a second please, can we just talk or you don't have to talk can you just listen!" I turned around and looked at her face filled with tears. "You on limited time" I said giving her a chance to say something... anything.
"I didn't mean for this to happen Kevin you have to understand that. I met him at a bar when you were at a performance it wasn't supposed to go this far it just happened, Kevin I'm sorry"I stared at her waiting for her to make more excuses. "You were never here, what was I supposed to do?" I chuckled "I'm not wrong this time Nyla, don't even try that shit with me, has it not been times where I've asked you to come to my club appearances, to come to one of my performances and every time you had an excuse or you just didn't want to go because It was quote unquote not your scene. So yeah Nyla you tell me what the fuck were you supposed to do." I said becoming louder and louder with every word. "I never hurt you Nyla not like you just did me. Look at this house, these fucking cars" I screamed pointing at everything I named."I never lied to you, cheated on you or anything else, all I did was work, I can admit I should've made more time but this is something I would've never done to you."
"You can't play innocent Kevin you can't say you've never cheated, there's been plenty of times where you've come from performances and smelled like another bitch, all those nights you were gone and flights out of town, you can't tell me you haven't cheated." I looked at her, for such a smart girl that was some of the stupidest shit I've ever heard come out her mouth. "I am a rapper, a performer, a public figure, I have fans and here's the kicker... some of them just happen to be woman who would imagine that. If I'm at a performance or a club appearance and afterwards I'm hugging fans and taking pictures don't you think I'd smell like something other than my cologne. I never cheated you let yo lonely ass sister and your own insecurities make up them scenarios you claim" Her sister has been a pain in my ass since I met Nyla after I started getting more and more famous Raven got worse. She started planting seeds in Nyla's head everytime I left for a tour or a show she would tell her what if he doing this or that. After a while Nyla started to listen to her. I truly believe Raven is jealous of her.
"Kevin I'm sorry" She said starting to cry harder she walked towards me she grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to her hugging me. I put my arms around her and I held her tight knowing it would be the last time. "Just do what's best for both of us and be gone when I get back." I let her go and walked back to my truck. I looked back one more time before leaving.
I pulled out my phone and searched through my contacts, coming across an old friend. "Torres, speaking". My nerves eased a little hearing his thick Colombian accent. "Santiago" I said clearing my throat still holding the lump from moments ago. "Kevin mí fámílíá" not able to hold it anymore I cried. " Hold on man sé que no me llamaste para ser un coño" I chuckled at him calling me a pussy. " This shit hurts I did everything for her and she cheated on me for a whole fucking year." I said wiping my face. "Ohhhh I see" he paused before continuing in Spanish "Las mujeres son malvadas, son her moss a la vista, escúchame hermano, solo se aman a sí mismas, if you don't do what they want then they no longer want you so you can say oh I did this and that blah fucking blah it's not enough brother listen to what I say it will never be enough they want you up under them they want you to chase them, and you my friend ain't running nomore" I listened to what he said, his words didn't make me feel better, they made me think. "I'm coming back" I said into the phone, he knew what coming back meant. "You know you'll always have a space around me brother, call me when your ready." And with that he hung up.
••••
Shaking the memory away I looked over at my producer "I think I got a hook, start the beat back at the beginning" I say to him ass I step back in the booth. A minute or two later I hear the beat through my head phones. Closing my eyes I sing into the mic "it's gone be difficult for you to forget me love" I looked back at my producer giving me a thumbs up letting me know it's the one we've been trying so hard to find.
After recording the hook a few times we stopped the session.