Shutting people out is the worst thing to do when you're hurting. It's incredibly the most stupid thing to actually do. But that was what I did.
After Sam's funeral, I shut myself from from my family, from the everyone. Even from myself—if that was in anyway possible. I was in misery and seeing faces of people who could at anytime get hurt because of me made me more miserable. But even as I turned away from everyone who wanted to come close, I wanted to hold them tight and never let go. It was even more annoying that my tear well never seemed to run dry. Crying sucked, hurting sucked, wanting to be alone sucked, wanting company sucked, people sucked and there was something more sucking that ranked above all these things. My life.
Pathetic, I know.
