The words kept turning through my head. Tears burned my eyes, I ran from the kitchen, I wouldn't allow Harry and Josh to see me cry. I ran out onto the balcony and let the sobs rack through my body. He was working with them, how else would he know that they were coming? How long had he been in allegiance with them? Did he even care about us? Each question brought a new wave of tears and felt like a knife was pushed further into my heart. We needed to go but I couldn't bring myself to get up.
This feeling was worse than everything, worse than losing my mother, worse than the abuse. The abuse I could escape from, my mom, she was in a car accident, she was arguing with dad while she was driving, she got distracted for a second and she went over a cliff.
I felt arms wrap around my shoulders, instinctively I knew it was Josh
"Shh…it's okay, it's okay" he whispered into my ear "look at me"
I looked into his brown eyes "He betrayed us" I sniffed
"I know" he sighed
"It hurts so much" I sobbed "I know, its going to be okay, you re going to be okay. Sarah, look at me, you got this and when we see him next time you can use those terrifying fighting skills on him" he said "but we really have to get packing and go"
"Yeah, yeah okay lets go" I said and stood up "we have to much to do to waste it crying over him"
Three hours later we had almost everything packed up into boxes and suitcases.
"What else needs to be done?" I asked softly
"You did the kitchen and your bedroom, I did the bathroom and my room, Harry did the lounge and his room so all that's left is–"
"James room" Harry cut Josh off "I'll get out anything important and leave the rest"
"Great" Josh said
I put my earphones in and turned my playlist up, I made my way over to the couch, ignoring the concerned glances that Harry and Josh kept shooting in my direction. Was I upset about it? Absolutely, but I had to deal with it like I had dealt with everything else in my life. Sure he had jumped in front of a bullet for me but he had always been closer with Josh, he did it not to save me but to save Josh the main of living without me.
Suddenly a hand appeared in my face. I looked up at Harry
"We should get going." He said. I noticed that his eyes were damp
"I'm so sorry Harry, I have been so focused on me, you lost a brother. Are you okay?" I asked suddenly embarrassed
"There are three reasons I decided to come along with you guys, Josh and you are the first and most important two. The third was because my brother has always been different. He has always been brilliant at everything he does obviously" Harry sat down next to me "he aced every class, killed every sport and always had lots of friends, on the outside he sounds perfect, add the good looking gene and he really seems to good to be true. However he was strange, even as a kid he was obsessed with pain…causing it, he relished in it. He is also a skillful liar and our parents could never see it."
I frowned. I had never heard about any of this before. "So you came with because you don't think he's changed?"
"I know he hasn't, I wanted to protect you…both of you from both your family and mine" he sighed, his shoulders slumped as if admitting this took all of his energy
"Stand up." I said, jumping off the couch
"Why?" he raised his eyebrows
"Harry, for once in your life just listen" I joked
He groaned but got up anyway "Now what?"
I wordlessly pulled him into a hug
"Uhh…Sarah? Why are you hugging me?" he asked weaving his arms around my shoulders
"Because you need one and because I remembered what today is" I said "Happy 21st birthday Harry"
"Damn I was hoping you had forgotten" he smiled
"No chance there buddy, unfortunately I don't have a cake baked for you, but I promise as soon as we find a new place, I will bake you the biggest chocolate cake ever" I said into his chest
"You don't have to do that care-bear" he argued, "It wouldn't be right given everything that's going on"
"So maybe that's the best reason to do it anyway. Celebrate the good things while dealing with the bad otherwise we become so caught up in the negative that it becomes all we see in the world" I looked him in the eyes
"You have a way with words you know that"
"Just one of the many reasons that I'm awesome and you love me" I teased
"You know it' he winked
"Hey! Make room for another body because this is now a family hug!" yelled Josh as he ran at us, knocking us all to the ground.
We lay there tangled up for a few minutes.
"I'm going to miss this place." Josh whispered
"Me too, it really started to feel like home." Harry agreed
"Yeah. It feels weird having to leave again. Guys we cant keep running"
"But we have to until we have a concrete plan" Josh sighed
"So last order of business, our resignation letters." Said Harry
Josh and I groaned
"Buzzkill" Josh said punching him in the arm
"I got it." I said pulling out my laptop bag
"What do you mean?" asked Harry
"Josh and I discussed it and we agreed that we were just going to tell the truth instead of coming up with some outrageous lie" I explained "So I typed out our letters for all of us while waiting for you old ladies to finish and all we need to do now is email them"
"Sarah, Josh you two are amazing" Harry said
"We know" Josh and I said at the same time