Sleep is one of the ways to push back reality for a couple of hours.
I don't know how to describe how I feel. Nobody will understand until they experience it. It is like air. You have to breathe no matter what. You can not escape from it. it fills you up, suffocates you mentally even when you are breathing.
Every morning I would stare at my blank wall and zoned out and then zoned in. Until I am sick of it. Then I stretch my legs out. Close my eyes not feeling good about the morning.
That is when my alarm goes off around Five every single day.
I hate it. I hate the sound of it. I hate hearing the same repetitive beeps every single time. It is heart-wrenching for some damn reason.
And I would not even bother to turn the setting off.
It is when Aiden barged in staggering with his eyes close and his pillow in his hand. We would sleep for the next 3 hours or so. Till it is late to make anything fancy for lunch. Or brunch?? I don't know or "care" to be exact.
Aiden will run to shower while I whip up something quick and easy. We would have a very simple brunch.
Pack his bento and would walk him to his bus stop to send him off.
Then I slept straight till late noon and go to work
Or usually read some crappy drama online and weep about it.
Then I ate a frozen burger on the way to work. Looking at my messy self on the windows. Car windows, houses, shops .. Yeah you name it... .. .. anything that has glass on it. I will surely give it a glance to look at my pathetic ugly self.
I saw people looking at me in disdain but I convinced myself that I am not affected by this.
Well, Today was one of those days. I have an off day from my first workplace, so I slept in for a couple of hours. I lay on my bed procrastinating until the last minute not able to part with my bed.
I quickly took a quick shower after a very long time. Looking at the mirror I combed my wet and tangled hair.
It hurts.
I checked my phone and there are only seven minutes to spare.
"Oh God " that old mad dog is going to eat me alive.
I fumbled my way out through the holes in my shirt to call an uber.
I grab my house keys, bag and ran like my life is at stake.
And honestly, my life is fucking at stake.
Old Man Jeffry, the librarian is strict. He takes punctuality very seriously and doesn't get me wrong everyone should. But he is a pain in the ass. I called for an Uber while I ran down the stairs as the elevator was not functioning at the moment. I was already sweating profusely when I reached the front gate due to the humid weather although I just took a bath.
Just as I reached I saw a white car park in front of the gate. I assume it was my ride. And was surprised by the efficiency.
Thank God... The uber arrive real quick. I close the front gate and hop into the white car. I heaved out a long sweaty overdue sigh.
I relaxed my body in the comfy seat and closed my eyes relishing the cool air from the AC.
There was a long disturbing silence. And the car has not started yet. what the heck is wrong with him. I am already late.
I glanced at the driver. "Let's go!" And whisper shouts at him with my hands on air.
"Where to?" A fine handsome man asked in bewilderment and a hint of amusement can be detected in his eyes.
my voice ... Where is it?
Damn it. I can't even get angry at him. Look at his sculpted greek god-like very kissable face. I never knew a man in a simple white shirt can be this hot. hmm very kissable indeed. I would love to bite that lips. I can feel my throat getting dry.
I hate my desperate embarrassing self just gawking at him.
What is wrong with me.
"Oh Lord ". I muttered.
I coughed twice stiffly to hide my sinned thoughts and gave him directions after composing myself.
"To The Local Library near the beach .."
He listens seriously to what I was saying and quickly typed the address in his GPS.
He seems new to the town as every living citizen knows this place. Any event, any party takes place in this library. it is huge and it was on the beach line. everyone knows this library. It is the oldest one in town.
" New in town?" I asked trying to stop my train of thoughts.
"Yes, I just moved in yesterday " He replied with his firm voice looking straight into my eyes.
Yes, a new guy indeed.
I mean I would know if someone as handsome as him was living in the town.
I stare at him unceremoniously for a hot minute until he looks at me funnily.
' take a picture, that will last longer ' He grunts at me.
I stuttered and frantically looking for an excuse for staring at him.
" That.. that was because I was trying to see if you are a bad guy or something.. you know, you are new in town and I don't know if you are trustworthy driving for Uber. There are a lot of young kids calling for a ride now and then. .." I kept on rambling embarrassing myself more.
My phone beep saving me from further embarrassment.
"Ohh I got a message, hold on.." I turned towards the window and curled myself to be less visible.
I opened it to see what it was.
It was from Uber and the message reads as
Your ride has been canceled due to technical difficulties. Please retry again after five minutes.
Oh good lord.