Everybody has our own way to let off some steam. It's people's way of temporary escaping the heavy burden on their shoulder, a path to ease themselves, a track to somehow clear their mind.
After all everyday isn't always a good day. But, Am I the only one who find that quote uninspiring already? They may say that the world is round, that it revolves constantly consisting it's ups and downs, I can't deny I find it cliche for a long time.
Everything seems unfair on my side, everybody seems unfavorable with me.
Para akong pinag-taksilan ng kalawakan, at ibinagsak saakin lahat ng sama ng loob. Animo nasalo 'ko na lahat ng kamalakasan na nagresulta saakin ng pag-kasawi.
Matagal na akong talo sa laban ng buhay. Matgal na akong lugmok sa sakit na dulot ng nakaraan.
I'm tired of perpetuating in this weary environment were I keep on asking myself if it is where I truly belong.
"Why don't you eat? It took you long in the emergency room a while ago." Averose asked me while sipping on her coffee.
She looks so fresh with her new look. Through the years, we've stick with each other like what everybody expects. We've grow, learnt our lessons and gradually become matured as time flies. I'm proud that she's finally living with the reality of her dream.
We work on the same hospital, but today she has a lot of free time than me. Konti lang raw ang pasyente n'ya ngayon. She is a pediatrician while I'm a physician. A profession that never in my entire life I considered as my passion.
"Wala akong gana," matamlay 'kong sagot habang iniikot-ikot ang tinirdor sa spaghetti na order 'ko. Napahinga ng malalim si Averose bago tumayo at nag-lakad papunta sa counter.
Napatulala ako sa labas ng bintana at pinag-masdan ang pagbuhos ng tubig galing sa kalangitan. Tila 'ba nakikiramay ang langit sa aking pighati. 'Kung ako siguro 'yung dating Janinah, mapapangiti ako tuwing ganito ang senaryong nangyayari. Kaso, lahat nga talaga nagbabago.
Truly, death and change are the only constant thing in things world: nothing can stop them from happening.
"Here, at least Drink!" Averose scoffed and handed me a glass of water. She's watching every move I'm executing making me wanted to glare at her. It' as if I'll disappear in a blink of an eye.
Para naman akong batang paslit na takot sa nanay at walang magawa kundi sundin ang sinasabi nito.
"I heard your sister gave birth yesterday," she whispered but clear enough for me to hear. Nag-angat ako ng ulo at tinitigan s'ya ng deretso.
"Yeah, twins." I nod and harden my grip on the glass she gave me.
"Vicson and Cloe called, don't worry. Let's hang out on weekends!" She give me a warm assuring smiled before reaching for my hand above the table, placing hers above it. I tried to smile back but I think it doesn't even reach my eyes.
I wanted to open my mouth and speak up, I wanted to reach out and pour out my thoughts----but I couldn't. It's just that sometimes, words aren't enough to express emotions. I do have voice but for a long time----I was muted. The world take away my freedom to preach, the existing human right that never did in my entire life I had experience.
Our little ended when my phone rang. I pursed my lips before picking it up, already had a glint of idea of what it is.
"Dra. Esquivel, Emergency po! dadalhin na namin ang pasyente sa Emergency Room,"
In the field of medicine it requires us to have a fast reflexes for urgent circumstances. I bid my goodbye on Averose before going out of the Hospital's Cafeteria.
The rain stops already filling my nostrils the usual earthy pleasant smell after the rain. I run on the hallway with my full speed heading my way to my private office to wear my personal protective equipment.
Nowadays accidents were the main headline of the news. And everyday I had tons of patients. Wala pa 'yatang araw na wala akong pasyente.
As I run into the Emergency Room, the nurses were already near it pushing the hospital bed. Papasok na sana ako sa pinto ng makita ang naka-harang na lalaki sa dadanan 'ko. He's white long sleeves were painted with blood, he's hair were messy completing his devastated look. He is walking from side to side, agitated with what's happening. My lips parted and my eyes widened as I recognizes him.
I can feel my hands shaking a bit, my being tense when he stops and recognizes my presence. Tila natigilan 'rin s'ya ng ilang sandali. Nakipagtitigan s'ya saakin na para 'bang isang akong suspek sa isang krimen. His eyes were dead and his full expression was stoic.
Another batch of nurses pushing the crash cart taps my back making me go back in my reverie and run inside the ER. We were trained to act under pressure but I still feel uneasy. I sighed deep to focus on my work, the patient's safety is our top priority.
Clearing my mind I conscientiously executed my work. Everything we do may affect the patient----its either to safe them or to worsen their case.
The patient's head is bleeding, she has deep cuts and bruises all over her body too. Hindi 'ko naman sinasadyang tingin ang kamay n'ya. A silver ring is on her finger, making my forehead creased.
After an hour of conducting some tests on her body, I instructed the team about my disposition. Her condition is a serious case because her body suffered from severe accidents.
Pag-labas ng ER hindi 'ko na maitago ang pangangatog ng binti 'ko. Kitang kita 'kong nataranta s'yang napatayo.
"H-ow's her?" His voice broke. Making my heart swell. He's that worried huh?
I can't helped but to be captivated by his features like before. Silently admiring how he became more tall. His lean body were broad now, with the muscles on the right places. His haircut were in a variant crew cut high and tight. But one thing stays the same----it's his eyes. His enticing pair of brown orbs that screams a lot of inexplicable emotions.
"The patient fall into comma, we will transfer her in the ICU already," I formally said before glancing on his fingers. A silver ring was there too, confirming my speculations.
With my shredded heart and splintered tiny hope, I hurriedly get out of there. Who would have thought that after a long year of believing in faith to make our path cross again----it only happened this time.
With a big plot twist, in an unexpected place and time and place.
Ang bigat sa pakiramdam, kailan nga ulit ako nakaramdam? Noong mga panahong wala na akong masandalan. Noong mga panahong iniwan n'ya ako sa kawalan.
Ang pag-kikita n'ya lang pala namin ang mag-uudyok na magpapaalala ng lahat. Na kahit anong gawin 'ko para malimot hindi parin sapat. At kasabay ng pagtalikod 'ko sakanya, ay ang pag-buhos ng mainit na likido sa gilid ng aking mata.
Kanina pa nagbabadya at nagtitimping mapakawalan. Ilang taon ring naipon bago may mag-tulak na lumabas ulit.
Did he sail across the world and find his universe?
Is he the one who put that ring on her finger?
Did he forget about his promise? So he did delete me out of his life completely after he leave me behind.