I'm laying in bed, looking at all the pictures we've sent to each other. Pictures of how you would look at me during our calls and smile. Pictures you took of me sleeping and just looking at me with a smile on your face. But the more I scrolled up the more I realized I changed. I wasn't me anymore. I'm not the happy, cute, crazy girl you first met. The more I scrolled through the pictures the more I realized how jealous I've gotten. How insecure and depressed I've become. What happened to me? What changed me so much?
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Chapter 1: 8th Grade
I'm sitting in math class right now, taking notes and listening to the teacher teach us about math. After he finished with the lesson he told us that we were gonna move seats next Monday. Little did I know the seat I moved to would change my life.
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I woke up as the sun rose and hopped in the shower before I had to head to school. It was Monday and today was the day that we were gonna move seats in math class. I liked moving seats, it gave me an opportunity to make new friends. I made some breakfast and my mom drove me to school.
I got out and went inside. The bell rang and I had to go to homeroom. I went to homeroom and just sat there and scribbled on my paper because her class was boring. I waited for the bell to ring so I could head to my next class which was math.
The bell rang and class was finally over. I headed to math class and waited for the teacher to tell me where my seat was. I met someone and we instantly became friends. Everyday we would talk to each other in math class and wouldn't listen to the teacher. I started failing class again but I didn't care. We got each other's social media and started talking at home too. It was nice to have a friend like him. He understood me. But every time we talked he would always be playing with this guy.
One day I was really curious who this guy was but I didn't know why. Of course my friend introduced him to me and we became friends. I was dating someone at the moment so he knew about them. All three of us were friends and talked almost everyday. We face timed each other everyday and would just spend hours on the call talking about the most random things, we even slept on calls sometimes.
The guy I was dating broke up with me in front of the entire school because of something I said and he took it the wrong way. I was heartbroken, I ran to the bathroom and cried silently. This was the 3rd time he had broken up with me over nothing. I loved him at first but after today I hated him, I didn't want to see him. He lied to everyone in 7th grade that I cheated on him. Before he broke up with me I was telling him that I told my parents about him and that I cried the whole summer because they didn't want us together.
He didn't even say anything, he walked away right when I said that. I never did anything, I never cheated. He told me 2 years later that he told everyone that because he wanted to look tough in front of his older brother that's why he made up that lie. On the other hand I was miserable, everyone thought I was just a cheater and it was hard to make friends. In my heart I still loved him and I still cared, after all he was the one who took me out of my hoeing and depression phase. He changed me for the better. But every time we fought he broke up with me.
After crying in the bathroom the whole morning, the bell rang and I had to go to class. I wasn't my best self today. I was yet again miserable because of him, but the next day changed my life forever.
I was on a call, talking to my best friend like I usually would and he kept hinting something. He was talking about how his friend liked a girl and if he didn't do something he would tell her himself. I was happy for him, he found someone he liked.
"What are you two talking about?" I said to Noah, my best friend
"None ya business" Noah said laughing
"Mateo you like someone? OOooOooo who??" I asked him in a girly way
"It's no one, Noah shut uppp" Mateo told Noah to shut up nervously
"I'm gonna tell her, should I tell her?" He kept asking him while laughing
What are these weirdos up to I thought in my head.
"Dude stop! You're so annoying" Mateo said still nervous but annoyed
"Hey Ema, guess what?" Noah asked me
"Hm?" I answered curiously
"Noah I swear to god shut up" he looked kinda mad
"Nothing" Noah said to me still laughing
"Um ok?" they really are weirdos after all, I chuckled
That went on for about 10 minutes. I asked Noah if I was the girl that Mateo liked and he jokingly said yes. I thought they were playing around until I got a text that night. It was from Mateo. He texted me that he liked me and he wanted to go out with me. I was kinda surprised but I didn't know what to say. I was just broken up with yesterday and I'm heartbroken. I told him I would think about it because I didn't want to say yes but I also didn't want to say no. I just needed time.
I was laying in bed, playing music and thinking about how Josh broke up with me, how mateo asked me out, and I was scared I was going to go back into my hoeing phase. Yea I dated a lot of guys in 6th grade but I never cheated on any of them. If I liked someone else I just broke up with them and moved on. Mateo was such a sweet and caring person, I couldn't do that to him.