Chereads / Until The Sun Burns Out / Chapter 4 - Duology

Chapter 4 - Duology

k.srj

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My heart always feels like it's burning. Is this normal?

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k.ymj

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This feels like the one time I downed an entire tin of alcohol without realizing it was for show.

It stung and burned and wasn't that fun, but it proved something.

But right now, all it does is hurt. Is there a hidden meaning?

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k.srj

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Is this because she's dead?

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k.ymj

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Is this because I don't know, or because I know and don't want to look the truth in the face?

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k.srj

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If the other me wants to get addicted to being a fool about this, fine then. It isn't my problem.

Or at least I hope it won't be.

We're connected...

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k.ymj

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If I had known better, then what would I have done?

Would I have spared her?

Such a waste. I wonder if the other me thinks the same.

After all, we're the same.

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k.srj

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This is impossible. I'm counting someone who doesn't matter anymore because they're dead.

She's dead. There's nothing that can change that.

Neither will the details of her death change.

But she still matters.

"I'm sorry, Clara, I had a hand in your murder."

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k.ymj

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Dea warned me and I didn't even listen.

Gods, I'm stupid.

"One shot. That's more than most of the people like us will ever have in their entire lives. So don't you dare throw that away."

Sometimes I wish I wasn't raised this way, to be wary of everything, constantly paranoid of betrayal and dishonour.

Ha. It's generous to say I was "raised".

More thrown into the world and told "do what you have to do".

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k.srj

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ᜈᜐᜀᜈ᜔ ᜃ ᜈ, ᜀᜆᜒ くら?

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k.ymj

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Where are you?

Who were you?

Why did I want you dead?

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k.srj

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The tree is still there, you know.

All the other trees in the grove are diseased. They plan to cut them down.

Why is that tree the only one that refuses to die?

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k.ymj

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I'm moving backwards.

I'm peeling back 3 years of development.

And why do the feelings still live?

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k.srj

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Neither of us know love as it is.

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k.ymj

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We have been forced to awkwardly improvise having a heart for the past 3 years.

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k.srj

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How is it that the dead can have ghosts?

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k.ymj

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The memories float about my head like soap bubbles.

The stars have been shoved into glass bubbles...

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k.srj

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The stars disappeared one day, swallowed up by the thirsty earth.

I keep wondering why we put her in a glass ball to hang up, a pretty ornament, and didn't expect she'd break out and use the shards to tear us to shreds.

Didn't she know the glass would cut her as well?

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k.ymj

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The stars are angry we killed one of them, I guess.

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k.srj

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So this is why.

We looked at a candle, an ally brought to us to keep us warm and give us light, mistook it for an enemy.

We are all complicit.

We are all guilty.

Justice is blind.

But so is chance.

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k.ymj

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Kiku was too complicit.

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k.srj

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Kuro was too paranoid.

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k.ymj

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We both are guilty of driving the blade to some degree.

He led me to the misunderstanding.

I overthought and stabbed.

The guilt is on both of us. A merry-go round of blame.

But who has more blood on their hands?

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k.srj

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Kuro...

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k.ymj

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Kiku...

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duo.logy

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許せない. 私はあなたを殺します...

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