* TRIGGER WARNING: This poem is written about Eugenia Cooney. I wrote this and the other first four poems, for a creative writing course. PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU HAVE/HAD AN EATING DISORDER, ARE RECOVERING, OR ARE EASILY TRIGGERED.
Thank you. *
...
I put myself together,
Impressing and shocking all viewers,
Hoping that my body doesn't fail,
And surrender me.
I forced an insincere smile,
And listened, hearing the voice play inside my head,
As Ana took over,
Trapping my latent mind.
.
I was no longer myself,
As death hung over my head,
I turned on the video camera,
Recording my body lensed in full view,
My outfit revealing much more than it should,
Knee caps, ribs, and bones all out,
I hope that this is inspiration for you.
.
No tide can knock me down,
No doctor can change my mind,
Death will not — cross my mind,
As calorie counting haunts my subconscious mind.
.
Ana knows what others think,
Ana is aware of what people will speak;
Those worrisome comments that people leave, encourage her,
Telling her that my fasting is working rather vastly.
.
Look at my bones,
They show through my clothes,
Don't look away, nor tell me that I am unhealthy,
Because every time you suggest I get help,
I'll starve myself more,
Making Ana happy,
As she grows from me.
.
She likes the attention that you give her,
Even though you cannot see her,
Even if I can barely stand on my feet,
It gives her validity,
As Ana pats me on the shoulder and says,
"Good job" to me.