{[Matt}]
[When Life Gives You Lemons - Add Salt and Tequila
Based on True Events
Jane Johansen
Dedicated to the only person who's been through most of this shit with me - once a lover, a friend, a brother - a saint
Matthew Zwei
You know that one time
that you woke up on a rainy morning
and everything was quiet and you got
to stay at home all tucked up in blankets
just doing nothing and spent the evening
watching bad movies and couldn't
stop laughing.
I want that. I want a love that feels
like that. Like a whole forest opening up
for a thunderstorm. Like a day
where nothing hurts.
-r.i.d.]
I silently paged through the novel I had just bought - Jane's.
After all these years, after [everything] she faced - she finally did it.
My heart raced at a thousand miles an hour, not knowing how she'd react to seeing me after all these years.
I've heard rumors of her being engaged and losing him in a tragic car accident.
I've heard about the little girl. I wondered if she looked anything like Shaun.
I've missed her so much lately, but I never really had the guts to rock up and say 'hi, how are you?'. I didn't know how she'd feel about that. If she even felt the same about me anymore.
After seeing that she'd dedicated her book to me, was a complete game-changer. I had to see her - even if it was just for a minute.
The rest of the coffee shop buzzed with people gathering around, all waiting in anticipation for her to arrive for the signing.
Her stand was already set up with a heap of books stacked up behind her seat.
I ordered myself another coffee - silently thanking Shaun for the advice of changing my hairstyle. I decided to cut it just a bit shorter - leaving it long at the top and bleaching some of it, leaving my roots black.
No one has recognized me so far - or maybe they just didn't care anymore.
I heard the crowds start to stir while journalists readied their cameras. I turned around to see her get out of her Volvo, a small dark headed girl taking her hand and following her inside.
For a moment there, I couldn't peel my eyes away from her or the little girl in her white lace dress. She wore her hair in a sophisticated high ponytail, a white blouse and black pencil skirt accompanying her eye-catching red stilettos.
I chuckled at the thought of seeing Jane be so ladylike for the first time in her life. That little girl looked up at her with so much pride - so much love - it was undeniable. Her mother was her world.
I watched them as they walked past me, sitting there - unnoticed. The little girl turned to look in my direction, her beautiful blue and green eyes smiling even brighter than she did.
She tugged her mother's arm, and Jane bent down to hear what she had to say. A faint smile formed on her face before she whispered something back and continued her way to the table.
I finished another two coffees while I waited, building up the courage to face her after all this time. But that little girl -
She reminded me [so much] about myself that I even doubted the fact that it was Shaun's kid.
Most of the crowd had left by the time I finally got up to go see her. I cleared my throat and straightened my hoodie, taking one last glance in the mirror as I passed it to make sure I looked decent enough for the event.
She signed a book and thanked the woman for buying it before I moved in and placed mine down in front of her, opening it on the dedication page.
Her eyes slowly trailed up my arm until they finally made contact with mine, hearing her sigh softly.
"Lilly, go play with Vincent. I won't be long," she asked as the little girl greeted me, jumping off her chair and running over to the little boy in the play area. "Matthew," she whispered, placing her hand onto mine.
"Janey-" I replied, feeling my face heat up. After all this time, she could still make my heart race - something no one else could.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, folding her hand into mine.
"I just... I had to see you," I replied, dropping my head. "She's gorgeous," I added, looking over at Lilly doing her best not to dirty her little dress.
"She looks so much like you," she added thoughtfully in a whisper, looking over at her before returning her attention back to me.
"Strange... she's not even mine," I added in a chuckle.
Her face went blank for a second, her expression changing into something more guilt-ridden before finally speaking up again. "Matt - she [is]," she said, soft enough so only I could hear her.
I listened to her words in disbelief, watching her bite down on her lip as she avoided eye contact. "You're kidding, right?" I added to tease her.
She shook her head, signed my book, and handed it back to me. "It was great seeing you again, Matt," she said professionally, calling the next person behind me to come over.
"Jane-" I interrupted her, but she merely looked at me - as if to shield herself from showing her true emotions.
I had no idea what had happened to her these years we've lost, but I've never been more determined in my life to find out than ever before.
I took my pride, put it in my pocket, and walked away like a wounded dog, clutching the book in my hand, debating whether to throw it away or keep it instead.
As soon as I reached the dustbin outside, I opened the book to see what she had written down first - I needed to know before I discarded it.
["If there ever comes a day we can't be together,
Keep me in your heart - I'll stay there forever."
- Winnie the Pooh
I have never stopped loving you, Matthew.
When you're ready to talk, call me.
1-800-433-9014 ]