It's been a week in this house and all I do is to stay in the room. I go out only to eat or sometimes have a walk in the backyard with Kelson. I sometimes cry thinking about my father. I miss Anna too. She went to her town after 8 years. In those 8 years, she stayed by my side raising me like her own kid. Brother Jin is busy with his work most of the time. That's how he lives, trying his best to prove himself as an eligible person to be our nation's future. We do talk to each other at the dinner table about our day. It must be difficult to live like that. He is cheerful though.
"Your highness wishes to see you", Kelson stood at the door. I stepped out my room for the first time today. Walking through the hallway, I reached the room where he works. I see a tall man standing across him. Hazel eyes, brown hair, deep intense gaze behind those thick glasses. "Meet her, she's Rigel. You asked me the reason why I called you here today, right? It's her." The man looked at me and smiled as our eyes met. The crescent shape of his eyes and the crinkles at their corners when his lips turned up. "I am Noah Gibson. Nice to meet you, Rigel."
I sat there silently as both the men spoke sipping on their drink. Brother Jin says he doesn't know how to comfort me. He thinks that a person who has everything cannot understand the pain who lost everything he had. He is right, I would be feeling uncomfortable if he consoled me. My father died to protect the throne his father is sitting on. But the thing is that I don't resent either of them. I am proud to be my father's daughter. He was a man who lived his life with principles and died the same.
I was told to accompany Noah to the market. He had some business there and meanwhile I could look around. "Choose a horse for yourself", he said whilst feeding his horse at the stable. "I don't know how to ride one." Those hazel eyes looking at me again as if it was something I was supposed to know. I never felt the need to learn it since I barely stepped out of the house. He offered me a ride together and I didn't had any other alternative so I had to accept it.
"Why do you think Jin chose me to stay by your side out of all those people?", he asked while we were crossing a valley. How would I know what he thought while asking this favor from Noah. "Because he thinks that I am the one who can understand your pain the most."
"Why? You have everything anyone would wish for. Your father is a scholar in court and you are a close friend of Prince. If I was a person who envies people then I would've envied you for sure."
After that our whole journey was filled with the story of his painful past. He said it all without any emotions but for some reason I couldn't stop crying. His father is an illegitimate child of a landlord and in Astrada Empire illegitimate kids are treated like slaves. Working in cattle, doing manual labor, farming and starving for days. That's how his father lived. When Noah was born, he decided that he will not let his son live a life he did.
At the age of 4, Noah was adopted by Mr. Gibson, a court scholar. He was smart and more intelligent than his peers. Mr. Gibson sent him to different cities where he could learn skills about both work and life. From landlords to ex court ministers, from traders to farmers, from philosophers to musicians, he met everyone. Even today, after all those struggles he did, he has to see his father have hard time on his own. He cannot help him even if he wants to. I would rather not see my father ever again than to see him struggle and not being able to help him. Noah's life is much more difficult than mine but he hides it all behind his calm face.
Seeing tears in my eyes, he stopped. "I did not say it to make you cry, I just want you to understand one thing. It's not Jin who chose me, it's our majesty who did. He wants to enroll you in the academy where his nephew studies once you turn 14. In all these years, the thing I've known about these nobles is that they never play easy cards. The Emperor must've seen some potential in you and so he decided to take you in. I want you to work hard and not get swayed by people's emotions just how you did now. Become a strong person because it's said that the strong preys from the weak. If you're weak, people will trample you and if you're emotional they will think of you as a pushover. I have high expectations from you, don't disappoint me."
Life never goes easy on anyone. When you think that you have nothing more to lose, you put your guard down. Once you do it, that's when life plays it's game. It's like a sudden wave that turns your boat upside down when it was sailing smoothly. You didn't expect that to happen and so you lost. I was unaware that I was starting to put my guard down in front the people I've just met. I was trusting them without knowing what kind of people they are. Was it alright to trust them? Was it alright to put my guard down?