"Okay, who wants to go first?" Alison says, making herself cosy in her boyfriend's lap. Archie squirms but doesn't mention the pain.
"You can go, honey," He says, "It was your idea."
"Okay, Austin, truth or dare?"
Austin doesn't hear her at first, he's focused intently on spinning a leaf between his fingers, "Um, I guess I pick truth."
Alison deliberates this for a while until her eyes go bright and she smiles, "What was your first kiss like?"
Austin sighs with a reminiscent smile turning the corners of his lips, "It was in middle school, so I guess that's like… thirteen years old, and she was my first proper crush. We rode our bikes down to the lake and I told her that she had the most beautiful eyes, then she went in for the kiss. Our teeth clashed and it was very sloppy, we never spoke after that."
"Brutal!" Nick laughs, thumping Austin's back, "was she fit though?"
"Of course, she was gorgeous, but she was so boring."
"Okay, Austin it's your go to pick on somebody."
He takes a while, I think he's trying to remember people's names but his eyes quickly rest on Emma, "Truth or dare, sweet pea?"
"Dare, of course."
Without hesitation, Austin says, "Kiss the boy here that you think is most attractive."
Against all odds, Emma crawls over to Austin, grabs his face and pulls her onto him. It lasts for an uncomfortable length of time but Nick doesn't seem bothered, he even cheers when they let go of each other. Austin's cheeks are red and he's grinning like a child after getting a lollipop from the dentist.
"Hmmm, Abbie, truth or dare?" Emma says, after returning to her seat.
"I guess I'd have to go for truth." Abbie's sat with her long, thin legs crossed and her hands folded in her lap and the frown she's held all night still doesn't seem to fade.
"Okay, who's your favourite person in the group right now?" A few gasps echo softly around the group but neither Emma nor Abbie seem phased by the harsh question, Emma even looks quite content with herself, lying her head on Nick's shoulder.
"Jacobo," She says without a single change in expression, I swear she could be a mime, "He just brings the most energy and he's the easiest to get along with."
Jay's cheeks are scarlet, a brief smile overcoming him before our eyes meet, and then he's got almost as blank an expression as his admirer. It seems everyone else had the same thought as the group is so quiet that only the breeze could be heard in the distance. It was starting to get chilly now, "So, truth or dare, Spencer."
It takes a while for Spencer's gaze to shift from examining me from across the fire, but after a while he shouts, "Give me a dare, baby," Abbie isn't amused. She even scoots a foot or so away from him.
"I dare you to down a can and then switch places with your favourite girl in the circle," He does as he's told and demolishes the beer in seconds before stomping over to me and leaning down so we're looking directly into each other's eyes. In the firelight he has the most beautiful pools of green that shimmer like a lake on a nice day, it almost makes up for the gross human being that he is.
When he's managed to stabilise himself he leans in as though he was going for a kiss – for some reason, in the moment, no part of me wanted to pull away – but he swerves at the last minute, plants his lips on my cheek and whispers, "Switch with me please, sunshine." I'm flustered as I walk around the group to fill his spot, I can feel every eye on me and suddenly a wave of guilt overcomes my entire being. His eyes are glued to my every movement; I don't have the strength to look up.
"Spencer," Jay says calmly, despite the rage burning behind his eyes, "Who you going to ask?"
"Jacobo, truth or dare?" Shit. Spencer has a cheeky glint in his eye and one side of his mouth is curved into his usual slimy grin, I can feel the butterflies dance around my stomach once again.
"Dare."
"Kiss any girl that isn't Gable."
I can't breathe, I can't look at him, I can't speak. Every part of me wants to shut down and pretend I didn't get out of bed this morning. I didn't have my argument with Jay and so I never knew about the bonfire party. I wish I hadn't fought my Mum about specifically going to this secondary school over the grammar one she had chosen down the road. I wish I hadn't even met Jacobo, because a person who you don't know can't break your heart.
"No."
That sounds like him, but it can't be, he's never turned down a dare in his life – even when he had to streak through Archie's garden, "How fucking dare you?" That's definitely him, the deep voice he holds when we argue has come through and the young, innocent Jay Alcantara has been put to rest. His eyes are suddenly alive and he's shaking.
"C'mon Jacobo, it was just for a laugh." Spencer is still grinning, seemingly unfazed by what he has said.
"Telling me to kiss another girl, three weeks after I ended a three-and-a-half-year relationship, tell me where I'm meant to be seeing the funny side." His fists are clenched and he's desperately trying to maintain his breathing.
"That's the joke, mate, no need to be a pussy about it!" He's not laughing anymore. In fact, I've never seen Spencer Morgan so white.
"I actually can't be dealing with this right now!" Jacobo throws the blanket he's sat on across the field and storms off into the night.
"Well done, Spencer, was that really necessary?" Austin says whilst getting to his feet and stumbling off behind his new best friend.
"I just thought it would be funny," Spencer shrugs and comes to sit beside me, grabbing a blanket and a pack of cans on his way. He wraps the blanket around us both and snuggles into my shoulder, I don't even have the strength to push him off. I appreciate the warmth even if it's not the person I want it from.
"Please just don't be horrible to him," I say, resting my head against his sweaty hair, "He's going through a lot at the moment."
"He's going through a lot, are you even being serious right now? He's the one who broke your heart and you seem to feel the need to defend him at every point I mention it. He must have been a God in bed."
"You're so gross! And he broke up with me because he's in a bad place right now, I'm giving him space to find out what he wants to do."
Spencer sighs, looking around the group and shrugging. Every person is involved in an acrobat competition, seeing who could do the best cartwheel. Each one of them has been my best friend for years. Each one of them has been Jacobo's best friend for years.
"This doesn't look like much space."
"Do you think I shouldn't have come tonight?"
"I'm not sure," His tone is serious now, like he actually cares, "It's not like you can just leave all your friends behind but you two being in such close proximity to each other is never going to allow either one of you to heal."
"I know, and that's why I haven't been hanging around you guys for the past couple of weeks, but I feel very lonely Spence, I can't be without my friends and my boyfriend."
"You shouldn't have to be the one distancing yourself, he's the one that broke your heart, he deserves to pay the price."
I don't respond. If I respond, I'd be defending him again. I don't want to be defending him, I don't even want to talk about him. But I do. I want to talk about the way the corner of his eyes crinkle when he smiles, I want to talk about how he laughs too much when he's nervous, I want to talk about the things we spoke about when the rest of the world was sleeping. I just want to talk about him. And I want to talk about him for every minute of every single day.
"Gable? Don't fall asleep on me, the party hasn't even started." Spencer is saying whilst nudging my head with his shoulder.
"Sorry," I say, opening my eyes. Though I wasn't asleep, everything seems hazy, "I think I'm going to go home." I don't listen to what he says, I feel ill and I just want to get out of here. Without even so much as a wave at the, now singing Bohemian Rhapsody, drunkards, I stumble across the field.
The sun had set a while back yet there's still an auburn glow in the distance, under the shadow of the oak trees at the end of the field, that's when I see him, a silhouette against a curtain of gold.
It takes me a few moments to see that his head is hunched over and he's having to support himself against a tree trunk. As I get closer, it's clear that the grey of his hoodie is distorted in most places and vomit has trickled down the front of it.