I try to creep out the door as quietly as I can to get a head start, but the moment I step foot out the door the reporters notice. As they shout questions at me, some of them are stupid enough to step on to the property. That is a mistake they will soon come to regret. Running to the side of the house, I turn on the water to the hose as quickly as I can and twist the spray nozzle to the jet setting. I'm feeling generous today so I give them one warning shot and spray a stream at their feet.
"Get back or I'll spray you!"
"You can't do that!" One arrogant camera man shouts at me.
"Wanna bet?"
"If you ruin my camera I'll sue you for damaging my property!"
"And if y'all don't get off my property in three seconds, I'll start spraying everyone who's still on my dirt. I'll make sure to tell the sheriffs to arrest the ones who got wet! One!"
