Jackie could still feel the ghost of his touch, the echo of his hands gliding over her body, caressing her skin. And in that moment, she'd confused the lust for affection, simple desire for genuine concern. He once said that he couldn't get enough of her and she believed him. Like a fool.
It never escalated that far.
But still, in foolishness and impulsiveness, she let him strip away a part of her because she thought he'd value it. Weeks later, she clung to the denial. The hope that maybe a small part of him cared. That she meant something. But time only brought with the excruciating clarity that she was of no consequence to him.
Liam's betrayal had left a bruise, an emotional black and blue, aching every time she touched it. It was like when you kept poking and prodding at the injury, knowing it would hurt more but couldn't stop. Jackie had to stop herself from stalking his social media pages. Did he show any morsel of regret? She doubted it. People posted the most idealistic versions of their lives online. Even if Liam did feel sorry, the fact wouldn't appear on his Instagram page.
So why did her fingers still hover over the link to his profile?
"Don't," Aarav said as though reading her mind. He might as well have. Those eyes of his could see through everything.
"I wasn't actually going to do it."
He pulled to a stop at a red light and held out his hand. Long slender fingers, tips calloused from guitar. "Phone, now."
"Fine." Jackie huffed but handed over her phone. It'd be better if temptation was removed anyway.
"You sure you don't want to stay home?"
She held out both hands with palms facing upwards as though weighing her options. "Between going to the amusement park and crying in my room while listening to Taylor Swift, I prefer the former."
"If that's what you really want."
"I can blast 'White Horse' later, but no way am I missing up the chance for a day of fun."
Aarav glanced at her and raised his eyebrows. "That's… actually a reasonable statement."
"I have all the time in the world to be sad. But happiness is fleeting so I'd rather be happy."
"Is it really happiness if it's forced?"
She rubbed her eyes. "I'd rather try to enjoy myself. There's more chance of me genuinely having fun than if I don't try at all."
"You're allowed to be sad. That's not something you can turn on and off. Don't feel like you need to rush to get over what happened." He pulled into a parking spot near a bright blue car and tugged the key out of the ignition. "We're here."
"Okay," muttered Jackie.
She pulled her jacket tighter around herself and looked blankly around the amusement park. Multiple shops and game booths lined the walkway while screaming children chased after one another with sticky hands. Popcorn kernels littered the concrete and people walked past with snacks in hand, dripping ice cream cones and Coca Cola cups and swirls of cotton candy. It was strange to think that though someone had just used Jackie for a stupid game, others were having perfectly happy days. The universe was unfair.
"Jackie." She didn't have to look to know Aarav was watching her with one of his impenetrable gazes.
"I'm fine," she said, moreso trying to convince herself than him.
"You sure?"
It was impossible to lie to him, not when he could pick up on every microexpression. She settled for changing the topic. "Let's go get tickets. You're still paying?"
"I'm keeping my offer. Besides, I doubt you have that much spare cash on hand."
"Hey, I'm not that broke."
"You mentioned your family once struggling to pay the electricity bill."
"Funny you should mention that. You know how we were fifty dollars short? One day, I just randomly found fifty-one in my bag."
As expected, Aarav rolled his eyes. "It must've been money you misplaced from work. You're so scatterbrained."
"It's not!" she insisted. "I'm telling you that it's a miracle."
"Miracles don't exist."
"Yes they do." Jackie huffed, knowing it was a lost argument. He was never one for superstition and the supernatural.
"I think they're real!" Aadhira clung to her arm, brown eyes steeled in certainty. In another hand, she clutched Flappy the elephant.
Mock offense flashed across Aarav's face and he smiled. "I can't believe I've been betrayed by my own sister."
Jackie giggled and slung an arm around the six-year-old. She leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially. "We make a good team."
When Aarav returned with tickets, the group headed to the fairgrounds. Winter's wrath had begun to subside. This particular day was warmer than usual and the sky was decorated with candy-floss clouds. Screams sounded in the distance while the train shot across rattling roller coaster tracks, mixing with the faint music coming from open booths and the occasional groan or elated cheer. Jackie could almost forget about Liam and Alexis and the whole bet. Almost.
Her fingers reached into her pocket for her phone until she remembered that Aarav had confiscated. He knew she'd want to keep checking their online activity. Of course he knew. It was near impossible to get anything past him. A small smile spread across her lips and she folded her arms. She couldn't deny that he was right.
"Where should we go?" she asked.
"Haunted house!" shouted Aadhira.
She jabbed a finger at the purple and black building with fake skeletons dressed in dark robes and the name spelled out on the front in a decorative horror font. Under the bright light of day, it looked cheap and obviously fake. There was clearly nothing to be afraid of but Jackie gulped anyway. She'd never enjoyed scary entertainment whether it be horror movies or theme park attractions.
"This just screams tackiness. The costumes and props aren't even well-made," Aarav grumbled but handed over tickets to the man at the front.
Jackie thought it was endearing how he was so devoted to his little sister. Unfortunately, this meant that she too would be dragged along into the house of horrors. She couldn't disappoint Aadhira and Aarav couldn't leave her alone. The only other option was sitting outside alone in a crowd with a bunch of strangers. Being by herself with her thoughts sounded more terrifying than any monster in the dark. Besides, maybe the haunted house would be scary enough to further distract her from yesterday.
A zombie popped up in front of them, making Jackie jump. His skin was painted white with smears of red and black around his eyes and mouth. She seized Aarav's arm and shuffled behind him.
"Relax, it's just special FX makeup. Shoddily applied, might I add." Aarav patted her shoulder and she released her grip on him.
The zombie scowled. "What would you know?"
"Plenty enough to know this isn't worth my money."
"Aarav!" hissed Jackie.
"Fine, whatever, I'll stop."
With one last glare, Mr. Zombie went over the rules and protocol before leading them and the following guests inside. They entered a room with a crackling fireplace that cast eerie shadows on expectant faces. Above it was a portrait of a tall bony man dressed in black that reminded her of Dracula. It didn't help that the place had red accents everywhere. Painted yellow eyes stared down at her, burning into her soul. Meanwhile, Aadhira was bubbling with energy when a booming cackle filled the air. Jackie sighed and rubbed her arms. At least one of them was excited about it.
"From the speakers." Aarav pointed and sure enough, there were small black contraptions in the corner of the room.
"Are you going to keep pointing out all the flaws?"
"If it makes you any less afraid, yes."
"It's not working. Fear isn't a rational thing."
"Worth a try."
"Come on, I want to find monsters!" Aadhira yanked on her brother's arm.
Jackie watched Aadhira's wild black curls bounce up and down in the dim red lighting while she headed through a creaky door hanging off its shingles. The floorboards were warped with water damage while the plaster walls were riddled with holes. Aarav stepped forward and set a hand on her shoulder to steady her.
"Don't run off, okay? We don't want to lose you in here."
The six-year-old tugged again on the sleeve of his jacket. "You two need to hurry up then."
Jackie bit her lip and followed after them, falling into step at Aarav's side. She stayed close to him, unwilling to let him out of sight. "I hope there aren't any jump scares."
"There probably are. Judging by the look of this place, the actors must rely on cheap tactics."
"You're not scared? Not one bit?" In her peripheral vision, his sister was happily skipping down the hallway, brown eyes wide in amazement at the spooky props. Lack of fear must run in the family.
"Kind of hard to be. I'm surprised you are."
"I hate horror stuff."
"All of it's fake."
"It's still terrifying." Her hands wrapped around his arm again.
"Just breathe. Neither one of us are going missing."
"You sure about that? Totally and completely sure? It's always the skeptic who gets killed off, you know."
"Just relax. Nothing's going to happen."
Nothing except for a man in a clown suit jumping out of nowhere. He was clad in bright stripes and polka dots with the signature crimson of fake blood splattered across his clothes. His face was painted bone white with a red nose and one thin line through each eye.
"You said nothing was going to happen!" Jackie's heart pounded and she swallowed hard, using Aarav to hide the clown from sight. Her grip tightened on his arm, fingers trembling and knuckles white.
"He's not going to harm you. Remember, the actors aren't allowed to touch participants."
Aadhira immediately kicked the actor in the shins and folded her arms with a huff. "This isn't fair. I hate clowns! I wanted a grim reaper."
"That's against the rules too." Aarav pulled his sister away with his free hand. "You can't kick the clown."
"Yes kick the clown, get him away," Jackie whimpered.
"You're not encouraging violence to my little sister!"
"I can if it's Pennywise 2.0!"
"Well, it isn't," he said firmly, still struggling to restrain his sister.
The clown grumbled while stalking off, "I'm just a guy doing his job who does not get paid enough to deal with children."
Aarav sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jackie, you need to calm down and stop cutting off the circulation to my arm. Aadhira, don't attack anymore monsters."
"Fine," said both girls. Jackie loosened her grip but didn't completely release him.
"Let's hurry! I can't wait to find a grim reaper," persisted Aadhira.
"I definitely can."
"If you really need to stop, there are exits all over this place."
"It's fine. I don't want to spoil your sister's fun. Let's just get through the rest of this."
Jackie felt stupid. There was a six-year-old happily exploring through the haunted house like it was a beautiful fairyland, and she was clinging to Aarav like a scared little kid. The dark had always unnerved her, and she still couldn't sleep without her nightlight turtle to project glowing stars on her bedroom walls. The turtle also had three soothing colors options so the night could be a magical escape rather than a monster breeding ground.
Thankfully, the rest of the haunted house went uneventfully. She managed to walk out of it without suffering a heart attack. After the ordeal, Jackie was sure she'd never set foot in such a place again. Aarav peeled her grip off his arm and smoothed out his sleeve.
"I'm surprised my arm's still attached," he said.
"Sorry," she replied sheepishly and wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.
One good thing about the haunted house: she hadn't thought about yesterday's events for the entirety of the half hour they spent inside. The fake monsters had done their job of distracting her—if perhaps a little too well.
"I wonder if there are better haunted houses out there, one with grim reapers. I want to borrow his pointy stick thing," babbled Aadhira. She spun her plush elephant around, oblivious to the fact that Jackie had nearly dropped dead from fear.
Aarav corrected, "It's called a scythe." He cocked his head. "Haunted houses would be the perfect place for a serial killer. You could sneak in with a weapon and guests won't be any wiser."
Jackie bristled and jabbed a finger into his shoulder. "Never say that. Never."
She then sighed and messed with her hair ribbon, wrapping the ends of the bow around her finger. "I never liked Halloween, but it's officially my least favorite holiday now."
Aarav crouched down to look his sister in the eye. "Why don't you say we try something new? Maybe the Ferris wheel?"
"Okayyyyy," agreed the little girl. She started skipping in the direction of the giant spinning structure.
Thank the heavens. Ferris wheels were peaceful, calming, and didn't resemble creepy monsters and ghosts. Jackie's shoulders relaxed and she let out a slow breath.
"I bet it looks prettier during the night. That way, you can see all the lights."
"Really?" Aadhira's eyes lit up.
"Yeah, it's always amazing."
The little girl then tugged on her brother's sleeve. "Can we come back later then?"
Aarav checked the time on his phone. "Maybe. We can't stay out too late since Amma and Naana are returning today."
"Another business trip?" asked Jackie.
He nodded. "They tend to be gone a lot. But it's never been that big of a deal."
"It's sad." She frowned. Even though her mother used to work long shifts to make ends meet, she still made an effort to see Jackie. The thought of often being in a large empty house without a parental figure sounded lonely.
"I guess. I'm used to it."
"What about Aadhira?"
"It's been like that since before she's born. My mom had nannies to care for her instead."
"Don't you ever want them around more?"
"I guess anyone in my place would." Aarav shrugged and adjusted his glasses. "But it's work. Can't do anything about it."
The line was thinning as a worker helped people into the pastel painted capsules. Gradually their group was moving closer to the front. Aadhira swung back and forth on the metal railing, nearly kicking one woman and receiving a dirty look in response. She giggled and hurried to Jackie's side while clutching her elephant. Suppressing a smile of amusement, the older girl hugged the child to her and shielded her from the lady's burning glare.
When they made it to the front, they were quickly shepherded into a capsule and the door clicked shut. It swayed gently back and forth while the wheel rolled them higher and higher. Jackie looked out at the people below, little dots with barely recognizable features. They reminded her of a doll set.
"How are you terrified of a tacky haunted house but not afraid of heights?" Aarav raised his eyebrows at her. Aadhira hopped off her seat and scurried to the other side. The sudden movement caused the capsule to swing forward, making him flinch. His eyes were steeled forward, jaw firmly set.
Jackie inclined her head. "Are you afraid of heights?"
"You could say that, but it's not to your extreme."
"I wasn't that scared!"
"You nearly needed to be revived with smelling salts."
"Did not." Jackie elbowed him in the side and fought back a giggle.
His hands were folded in his lap, partially covered by his jacket. There was a small jagged line on his palm in the shape of a lightning bolt. It was mainly pink and white at the ends. A little thing barely noticeable. No one would see unless they were looking closely.
Maybe Jackie always had.
"Where did you get the lightning bolt scar?" Jackie asked.
"Lightning bolt?"
She tapped the back of his hand, fingertips brushing against his skin. Aarav looked down at the line. His eyebrow raised slightly and his lips tugged upwards.
"Huh, a lightning bolt. Makes me sound like Harry Potter."
"Didn't you say once that you didn't like the series?" She drew her knees to her chest, using them to prop up her elbows while she rested her chin in her hands.
"I did. But it's a popular work to reference," Aarav said. He then ran a thumb over the mark. "Made a blood oath with someone. Everlasting friendship."
"I don't remember that," said Aadhira. She hugged Flappy the elephant tighter to her.
"You weren't born yet," replied Aarav.
"Not fair. I wasn't alive for a lot of things."
"You didn't miss much."
"Must be nice having a little sibling," Jackie commented.
"I know. I'm great," the six-year-old boasted. She toyed with the elephant's ears for a moment before asking, "What's Harry Potter?"
"An overhyped book series about a wizarding school with mediocre writing," Aarav answered promptly.
"What's mediocre?" Aadhira asked.
"Average, not very good."
"I personally like romances," said Jackie.
Aarav scoffed but not maliciously. "How predictable."
Jackie giggled and reached up to toy with her hair ribbon, twisting the red ends around her finger. It was strange to think about how she was in a Ferris Wheel with Aarav and his sister when they were merely strangers at the beginning of the year. Nothing was truly predictable, was it? Come to think of it, she didn't predict her year at Westminster unfolding the way it did.
Just one day had drastically changed her entire view of a person. The past months had changed her view of another.
Here she was, spending time with Aarav, who she thought was a jerk on their first encounter. Her opinion had quickly changed the more time she spent around him. Funny how people surprised you.
People like Liam. Her throat immediately tightened and tears stung her eyes. Jackie hated it, how easily the thought of Liam wormed its way into her mind.
"It's exciting," she stated firmly, setting her focus on the topic at hand. "Falling head over heels for someone and getting a happy ending is fun to read about."
"Sometimes it's nice to daydream about it. I like the idea of relationships and being in love, but when it comes to real life, I can't seem to get it right."
"Romance novels are unrealistic. A lot portray high school connections with everlasting love." Aarav adjusted his glasses and leaned forward to look at her. "Not all relationships happen like that. A lot of people marry the one they meet later on in life. Just because your first didn't work out doesn't mean your romantic future is doomed."
His eyes were dark and intense behind the lenses. Like pools of ink. They fixated solely on her. Here he was, giving her his full attention—something Liam never had. When it came to Aarav, she didn't have to fight for a crumb of recognition.
"You're so logical that I hate it." Jackie's voice grew bubbly and her eyes crinkled at the corners.
"Someone around here has to be."
The gondola suddenly dipped. Aarav tensed, a gulp made visible by the lump in his throat. Jackie reached out a hand and squeezed his arm. Oblivious, Aadhira peered over the edge of the capsule. From above, people looked like little specks against the bright cheery colors of the amusement park. As they moved lower to the ground, the shapes grew larger and more defined.
"What happens if we fall?" Aadhira asked cheefully.
"Don't ask that," he said sharply. "Get away from the edge."
"Ferris wheels are among the safest rides in amusement parks," Jackie said softly. "Just relax a little. It's almost over anyway."
He released a slow breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "Good. That's fine. This is perfectly fine."
"You know, I never would've guessed you were afraid of heights."
"It's a perfectly common fear."
"I guess it was because of the way you are." Jackie shrugged. She rested her hands on the edge of the seat and leaned forward, which caused her ponytail to swing forward. Aarav always carried himself with such self-assurance that it was hard to imagine him being scared of anything.
"Well, I'm not a machine."
"I've figured that out."
The ride came to a halt as the capsule lingered before the exit of the platform. Aarav helped his sister climb out with her elephant. Jackie smiled at the sight and followed after them. She fell into step at his side. Being around two much shorter people forced him to slow his pace.
"Okay, let's pick something that neither of us are afraid of," she suggested.
Aarav let out a soft laugh. "It's a little sad how neither of us thought about that earlier."
"It's like late Halloween. We're both out to terrify ourselves." Her gaze lingered on Aadhira. The six-year-old skipped a few steps ahead, swinging around Flappy the elephant, smiling and waving brightly at strangers. "That kid isn't scared of anything."
"Yeah, she befriends the imaginary monster under her bed."
"Seriously?"
"Once she asked for an extra glass of water for it since it was thirsty from haunting other children."
"It's like life teaches you to be scared," Jackie commented.
"Fear's a survival instinct. Self-preservation and all that." Aarav shrugged.
"We can play games!" chirped Aadhira. She jabbed a stubby finger in the direction of small lit-up booths with energetic music.
He shook his head. "All of those are rigged."
"What's the harm?" Jackie asked. "We're here to have fun anyway." She joined Aadhira in dragging Aarav towards them.
"I hate you all. Just put me back on the Ferris wheel. I'm not paying money for these scams."
Thirty minutes later, Aarav sighed and slid over another five dollar bill to the operator the instant Aadhira gave him her best puppy dog eyes. Jackie's shoulders shook with suppressed laughter.
The clang of rings around glass bottles made Jackie flinch. Two landed around the long slender necks while one bounced off the edge and rolled to the ground. The other two missed completely.
Jackie asked, "Did she just throw all of them at once?"
Aarav sighed and nodded, preparing to hand over another wad of cash. Aadhira was one ring short of a prize but the man allowed her to choose one anyway.
The girl turned to her, wide-eyes and beaming. "Which one should I pick?"
"How about that unicorn? It's fluffy." Jackie pointed.
"That's an overpriced unicorn," Aarav grumbled. He must've run out of spare cash.
"Don't insult Fluffy," huffed his sister.
"You already named it?"
"It looks more like a Rainbow," Jackie suggested.
"Hey, let's actually get the unicorn before we start coming up with names." He gestured to the stuffed animal and the man went to unhook it from the rack.
"It's so fluffy!" Aadhira gave the unicorn a hug, her arms barely wrapping around its neck. "Flappy and Rainbow will be best friends."
"It was nice of him to let her have a prize anyway," Jackie said. The girl smiled contentedly. Perhaps it was because the man grew annoyed with Aadhira playing the game over and over. Nevertheless, a good deed was a good deed no matter the intent. Sometimes motivations didn't matter so much as the actions.
She lost herself in playing carnival games and following Aadhira on rides. It was like a temporary painkiller for the sting of Liam's betrayal. For hours, she'd feel nothing. Then the throbbing ache of being used and thrown away would creep in. Distraction wasn't permanent; it always wore off.
The day came to a close with the streaks of pinks and orange by the setting sun. She walked with Aarav to the car, both of their arms carrying Aadhira's plush prizes while the six-year-old skipped ahead.
"Thanks for today."
"It's not a big deal." Aarav shrugged and fished through his pocket for the keys.
"I mean it," Jackie insisted.
"Really, it's not a big deal." He shook his head and unlocked the doors.
"Well, it is to me. So take the thank you."
Begrudgingly, he replied, "You're welcome,"