I'm not a coward, I used to show my insights before but then when everything turned upside down. I didn't know what to feel anymore. I was afraid that one day I'll be alone again..
That everyone around me will eventually leave me once they became tired of me..
My feelings..I don't even know if I can still feel content with everyone.. It feels like it's still not enough. Like everyone around me were just temporary. I don't know anymore.. The fact that I avoid people who's close to me makes me feel bad more..
If I push them away, I keep going back to the time where I can still choose whatever I pleased. It's getting harder and I wanted to cry because I can't endure it anymore.
I was scared that maybe one day, if he gets tired of me and leave..I'll only realized what I really feel about him. That I might regret it later..
