I sat there on the big bed,that was in the middle of this room. Reading Greyson's text over and over. Could It really be? Does he really not trust me?.. Okay I know that I was wrong into not wanting to tell him where I was going or how he said 'Sneaking' to. It's just so hard.I'm going through something he wouldn't understand. After all he's a Man. He has a penis for crying out loud. He doesn't know how hard it is for me. All I did this morning while he thought I was cheating, Was go to the freaking hospital and have me appointment with Dr.Henderson. She's been helping me with all this pregnancy thing. I got my exams today.Thats why Doctor Henderson called me yesterday saying she had booked me an appointment at 9:30am. I didn't expect the worst from the exams.But after my doctor explained to me the results and the cause of them I felt so irresponsible. After leaving the hospital with that bad new I decided to go to the park across the street. All I wanted to do is go home and cry my eyes out.But I couldn't drive like this. My heart was broken. It was the worst news a women can ever receive. I sat down on a bench and stared at the trees. Trying to calm myself down. I looked down to my phone and texted Amy if she could come to pick me up. She told me she was going to get an Uber. I waited about 20 minutes and got another text from her saying 'just got on my ride be there in 30. ' By the time Amy came it was already10:45am. She sat with me on that bench and consoled me for very longtime. Amy took me home in Greyson's car. It was almost 11:30. I had calm down already. I paid for her Uber back to her home using Greyson's credit card. I opened the door to my apartment hoping that Greyson wasn't still mad at me, as i walked in and looked around, I heard nothing. Meaning Greyson wasn't in the house at all. I went to my room and when I laid down on the bed and sighed. I went to grab the remote controller that was on the left side of the bed. Thats when my eyes caught the gift that the fan gave us two days ago. I felt my eyes getting wetter than usual. The words of the doctor came to mind immediately. "I'm sorry Mrs.Aveyard but you're infertile." .Those word kept replaying in my head. I was now crying my eyes out once again. I pulled my legs up to my chest and hid my face on my knees. How? How was I going to explain that to Greyson? I let him down. I even let myself down. And I know it was all my fault. Another tear slipped from my eye going down my cheek. Should I ask Eric for help? Or maybe I could call his sister Nina and ask her for some girl advice, Plus she knows Greyson a lot.
I heard the door open and I was scared to look and see Greyson there. I probably look like a mess ,I hate crying in front of him. I decided to look up at him. I stared directly into his eyes and saw he was very disappointed in me. I put my head back down on my knees and continued crying. I felt the bed move and I knew He was now sitting next to me. Tried to Calm down once again but I couldn't, with just knowing he was there next to me, hating me more than ever, made everything worst. I felt his hand on my back. I thought maybe I should just tell him right now. "Okay. You know I'm not good with this." were the words that came from his mouth. I felt even worst knowing that he actually was mad, because otherwise he would've hugged me tight and tell me to calm down, Cause I know perfectly he's not the best with consoling me. But thats what I love about him. I got up from the bed and head to the bathroom, I couldn't stand another minute sitting next to him. Knowing if I told him the truth I would be dead.
I walked out of the bathroom after taking a hot bath. That surprisingly relaxed me. I notice he was no longer in the room. I dressed in one of Greyson's shirts that I knew would fit like a dress on me. I laid back again on the bed and covered my body with the sheets and fell to sleep.I woke up about 2 hours later and Read the text Greyson had sent to me about almost 2 hours ago. I knew I was in deep shit.
I was sitting on one of chairs in the dinning room, table, across from Greyson. Staring at my plate full of Chinese food, Greyson had bought on his way home. I could hear Greyson munch on his food. I was scared to look up at him. I was afraid of looking at Greyson and not be able to hold in my tears. I heard a sigh from the other side of the table making me look up."Aren't you going to eat?" were the first words he said since he came back from the meet and greet.
"I'm not really hungry" I said in a really shy tone. Then looked back at my plate. I began to get all hot and nervous when I heard Greyson's chair move. When I look up I see that he was no longer sitting on the chair in front on me but the one next to me.
"Where did you go this morning?" The faster I answer the faster I get this off my chest. I thought.
"The doctor's" I whispered.
I saw his eyes soften when I respond. "Whats happened?.. Is something wrong?"
Lots of things were flying through my mind. But the only words that came out were. "Amy thought she was pregnant.... so I went to the doctors with her."Before I knew it I had lied to Greyson.
"Then why didn't you tell me, when I asked you this morning.?" I knew it,he didn't believe me. I felt how he grabbed my hand. "Why where you crying today?" he asked me. Yep I'm busted. I should just tell him.
"Because you actually thought I would cheat on you... you're a fucking asshole. That's why!." Part of it wasn't a lie. I got up from my seat and took my plate to the kitchen. Before I knew Greyson was behind me, he took me by my arm,pulled me to his chest hugged me.
"I'm really sorry." He said while holding me tight. "I should have never said what I said. It was wrong of me...." I pulled away. And walked to my room. "Hey. Estella!" I heard him yell from the kitchen. I walked into the room and hid myself under the blankets. I was so mad with myself. I couldn't stop sobbing. I felt that familiar hand on my leg. "leave" was all I said, I waited for him to get up and leave the room. But no, instead he got under the cover.
"Babe, talk to me. What do I have to do for you to forgive me..."Greyson asked me. But all I wanted was to be alone. He uncovered me and stared into my eyes. He know how much I hate crying in front of him. "I'm not leaving until you to tell me whats going through your head." He said while whipping my tears off my cheeks.
"can we talk tomorrow?" I said between sobs. He nodded his head yes and started rubbing my back in circles. I laid on my stomach and let Greyson lift my shirt up half way up my back so he could give me a massage.
My breathing started slowing down as I started to fall asleep, the next morning I had jumped into the shower as I scrubbled the shampoo on my hair I heard the shower curtains open."what Greyson?" I said, while covering my lady parts. That made him chuckle.
"No need to cover up. I've seen that beautiful body of yours,lots of times." His comment made my cheeks heat up, turing brght red."I love how cute you look when you blush." He added.
"Stop it Grey."I hid my face into his chest, while he washed my back. After that nice shower, him and I, laid in bed all dressed up. I decided to tell him but it seem to come out as a mumble.
"What?"He looked at me and I repeated myself as he kept staring at me.
"Can I tell you something?"He nodded. "Just please don't get mad, Just know that I'm really sorry about it and I'm pretty sure I hate it more than you will." I added very quickly, but I take it as he understood cause he nodded.
"Hey" He rubbed his thumb on my cheek " don't worry. It's okay I won't be mad.. tell me.." He told me confidently. I took a deep breath and said the words that I never thought I would have to, I noticed he couldn't move. Actually he didn't move until I starting sobbing,once again.
"I'm sorry. Greyson Please don't leave me.." I sat up on the bed I saw how his eyes didn't express any emotion. He only stared straight,his face was emotionless."Greyson,Say something." I said while still sobbing. He still didn't stare at me. I knew I fucked up. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault...Please say something.."I let my tears fall.
"what? What do you mean it's your fault?" He said and stared into my eyes.Like if staring into my eyes he would have the answer.
"Just don't hate me." I said softly.
"I wont" He said very loudly and made me flinch. "sorry" he said.
"well. The doctor told me lots of the reason I could be infertile and... the one that gets to me the most.....is.." I took a deep breath. "When I was 15 I had it rough, and well I didn't have the body I wanted...." I started at him and he only looked at my stomach "I just really wanted to be perfect.. I wanted the perfect body....So when I was turning 16 I went through a fase of anorexia..." I let more tears fall. "well the way I would bearly eat and when I did, I would throw up... well that messed up my hormonal system and well" I let more tears fall. I got up from the bed and took a deeper breath. "I'm really sorry...." I sob. " Well me being irresponsible as a teenager cause me the fertilization of my ovule. So I deveopled problems during my ovulation so the eggs don't mature in the ovaries, so whatim trying to say is that I messed up my body."
"Isn't there anything you could do?" I turned around and see he is right behind me.. "please stop crying"I shook my head no and hugged him tight. I cried into his shirt.
"I'm sorry I let you down..." I whispered. Into his chest. He pulled back and cleaned my face.
"We will get through this okay.. you didn't let me down.. And yes I'm sad... but at least I didn't loose you." He told me in a very sweet tone.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you yesterday.. I was just scared.. and afraid you would leave me, now that you know you can't become a father.....I'm really sorry.."I kept apologizing as I stared at the shoes the fan gave us.." And I'll understand if you want to leave me.." I whispered.
Greyson notice the way I was looking at the baby shoes and said "if you want we can donate them." I only hugged him tighter.. "and I wouldn't leave you for anything.."
Weeks had passed on, We decided not to pressure ourself into adopting a child. When we told Eric he actually freak out more then Greyson. I felt he acted that way because he knew how much Greyson wanted to have a kid of his own and to be able to teach him everything Greyson knew. So, looked up on the Internet and I decided to start a treatment to help my hormonal system. It consisted on theses pills I have to drink one per month. The treatment doesn't grantee you it will work right away or if it would work at all, but I got nothing to lose. I hope.
November, the sky was clouded, it seem like it was about to rain and also 7 months since the doctor told me about my problem. When I woke up, I looked to my left and saw that instead of Greyson laying next to me there was a note.
BABE,Once you wake up take a shower and eat those pancakes I cook this morning and wait until 12,Eric will come get you.. I got a little surprise I've been planing for a really long while.. I LOVE YOU...see you at 2.
What?I'm soo confused. I got up quickly and took a shower also very quickly. Cause when I woke up. It was 10:56 am. After I showered I went down stairs and ate my breakfast, while eating I started wondering. What the hell was Greyson up to? I was in deep thought until I heard my front door opened. I got off my chair and went to the living room.
"Hey Eric..."I look at him, trying to see if I could get some clues onto why Greyson had sent his brpther to come pick me up instead of him coming to get me. He waved at me with a smile on his face. "Where are you taking me?" I asked him. He didn't say nothing. He only grabbed my jacket and through it at me. Then left through my door to the hall. So I followed behind and locked my door on my way out. We were currently in Eric's car. Listening to the radio. The radio station was currently playing some old songs. I knew most of them, I grew up listening to lots of music. I was singing along to one of Justin Bieber's old songs from the believe album, Boyfriend. Listening to him made me smile and feel like I was 13 all over again. I notice Eric took a turn to the airport. I looked at him once again to see if he would spill the beans to what Greyson is up to. "E please tell me" But He didn't look back. So That's for sure,he won't be saying anything."So give me a chance....You're all I need..."I started mumbling the lyrics to the song. I sigh and look at Eric once again. "Come on!Eric.. Pleasee" I begged him. He simply chuckled and shook his head no. "You're an asshole..." I told him.
"Why are you mad at me,this is Greyson's Idea and he told me not to speak.." He told me and gave me the idea that it was now my turn to ignore him. So I simply stared out the window. I notice through the side mirror of the car,that Eric smirked. "mmm you're gonna ignore me now?.. fine... I hope you do the same to Greyson cause he told me you'll have to wait at least 7 more hours." Then I smirked... He just gave me the perfect information.
"Where is he taking me? And Why?" I said in a really excited voice.. I heard Eric mumble the word Shit and that made me laugh. "You screwed up yourself..." I said smirking.He rolled his eyes and kept driving to the Airport.
Once we arrived I saw Greyson in Gate 3 waiting for me with 3 suit cases and a bag. I smiled wide enough for the whole airport to notice and ran towards him. "What's this about?" I asked after kissing him.He only smirked and looked behind me. I turn around and see Eric.
"Thanks bro. I'll see you in 2 weeks." Greyson said and hugged his brother.
"No problem, I'll miss you very much and good luck." His brother responded and pulled away from him and then went to my side giving me a hugtoo. "Take care of my brother.." I simply nodded. Cause I knew he wouldn't answer none of the questions I had in mind.
I felt someone shaking me. I opened my eyes to see Greyson smiling. He said something. That I couldn't quite hear cause Greyson made me put some headphone on during the flight cause he didn't want no one to ruin his surprised. I took the head phones off. " I said we're here. Come on" He said. Once I got off the plane I saw a sign that said welcome to Hawaii. I gasped and turned around to see Greyson with the suite case. I went to him and hugged him.
" this is amazing. Thank you Greyson" I took a bag and a suite case so I could help him. It was already dark by the time Greyson was driving to what I supposed was an hotel. But once we got there I saw it was a small house on a beach. I smiled wide. "Oh my gosh. Greyson I love you!!" I got out the car and was so excited to go explore the place. But first I helped him with the luggage and then we both went inside together. I looked around and before going upstairs Greyson grabbed me by the hand.
"Estella..I love you and I know these couple of last months have been pretty tough.." He started talking. I stared into his eyes and nodded. "I know You said no honeymoon. But I felt like You needed to be far away from California." I smiled at him. "Soo we have two whole weeks for ourselfs." I leaned in to kissed him. He deepen the kiss and I thought Well you did say we are having a honeymoon... What do people using do on honeymoons? I smirked into the kiss.They make love. I felt how Greyson picked me off my feet and bride style carried me to our room. I bit his button lip, Greyson let out a small moan. Once we reached the room, I saw that there were red rose peddles on the floor and bed, I saw there were white Christmas light around the bed on the floor. I looked at Greyson while he put me down on the bed. I pulled him by his shirt. Making him connect his lips to mine and in no time wasted we were both half naked on the bed kissing. My husband and I haven't had sex often after that terrible news 7 months ago.The first month we would only kiss, the second and third month after the terrible news we would kiss get all heated up but I would freak out before we were naked. I then realized that Greyson has his needs so we started once again but not frequently but once or twice a month. So now it was been 2 weeks since the last time me and Greyson did anything. He began to kiss my neck. I was moaning. I felt how Greyson slowly went in me and started thrusting in and out of me. At first slowly but after the 5th thrust, He started going faster and faster. We were both moaning like crazy. I was playing and pulling his hair. "yes...faster Grey..." I moaned. After a while, Greyson thrust deeply into me one late time as we both released. I smiled and kissed Greyson again, while feeling him thrusting a few more time in me. " I love you " we both said at the same time and laughed..