~Lexi~
" when you see hard times and you get knocked down get back up and if you keep putting everything you got into it and you keep getting back up when you get knocked down it's almost impossible to fail...."
The motivational speech blasts in my earbuds as my feet pound against the treadmill. Keep going. Keep going.
"Ma'am."
"Nelson Mandela said there is no passion to be found playing small and settling for a life that's less than the one you're capable of living"
"Ma'am!"
I lift myself off the treadmill and turn to see a gym employee staring at me as I try and catch my breath.
" Ma'am the gym's closing for the night, I'm going to have to ask you to leave now", he says looking annoyed at the fact that he had to stay late to close for me.
" Oh I'm sorry, I didn't hear you sooner I'll just go grab my things from the locker rooms and leave."
I decided that I needed to get out all my energy left before my red eye flight. This led me to running at the gym at 6 o'clock in the evening like a weirdo.
After grabbing my things from the locker room I walked out of the gym and got in my car while checking my phone. Two missed calls and a text from my mom asking where I am. I let her know that I'm on my way home then put my phone down and start the drive back.
I listen to the music coming from the radio as I think about all the possibilities to come in these next three months. Living by myself, across the country, with no one knowing who I am or what I've been through. My Uncle has to go out of the country for business and instead of hiring someone to watch his house he asked my mom, his younger sister, if I would want to stay there for the summer.
My mom thought it was a great way for me to recover from these past 9 months and I agreed. That was two weeks ago, now I'm hours away from boarding my flight and leaving California to my new home for the next two and a half months.
I turn into my driveway and park next to my dad's car in the garage. After grabbing my gym bag I enter my house and am immediately met with my mom shouting at me from the kitchen.
" Hi Lexi honey, make sure you have everything you need packed, your dads moving your bags to the car right now. I have spaghetti for dinner and we're leaving for the airport in an hour."
" Nice seeing you too mom," I say as I process what she just told me, " I just need to pack some last minute toiletries and shower then I'll be good to go."
"Good, I don't want you missing your flight."
I roll my eyes as I walk upstairs knowing that even if I got to the airport two hours before my flight she would be worried about me missing it.
I throw my bag on my bed and grab my sweats and tank top I laid on my bed earlier before walking down the hall to shower. I stand under the hot water as it washes off my sweat, taking death breaths to remind myself that this change will be good for me.
Once I feel clean I step out of the shower and change into my clothes before looking at myself in the mirror. I didn't look the best, my skin pale from not having seen the sun for any long amount of time recently and my hair that currently resembles a damp rats nest wasn't helping my overall image. I tied in up in a bun to get it out of my face and reasoned with myself that comfort should be the most important thing for my trip's outfit and left the bathroom before I could get even more self conscious.
I sat on my bed and look around for the last time. There weren't many pictures with me and friends simply because I didn't have many. The closest thing I had to friends were the few people I talked to at school. My night stand had a picture of me with my parents, smiling on the beach next to a landscape shot of my extended family at a barbecue. I pick it up and look at everyone smiling. I'm only five in the picture and I'm fighting with my cousin Luke who was nine at the time. To this day I still remember that we both wanted to play with the same red ball,and we never thought to play together until our parents told us we had to if we wanted dessert.
"Lexi come down and eat before we have to go," my mom shouts, snapping me out of my flashback to simpler times. The last time I saw Luke was a year ago when he came to visit us, but I'll be seeing a lot more of him since he'll be picking me up from the airport when I land and helping me move into his uncle's house.
After rushing downstairs and eating dinner we all loaded into the car and started our drive to the airport. My mom turned around to look at me in the back and I braced myself for the lecture that I knew was coming.
"Now remember Lexi, this might seem big but you're responsible, mature young lady, and your father and I both trust that you'll make smart choices," she paused making sure I was listening then continued, " Luke will be there to help you and you can call us whenever you need to for anything. I know that these past months have been hard-"
" Okay mom I get it," I say cutting her off , " I don't want to relive that part of my life. It happened, it sucked and now I'm moving on. That's the point of all this right? Find myself and become a new me."
" Not becoming a new you sweetie," she responds with a sad smile, " I want you to remember who you were before all of that Tyler drama. The funny, kind Lexi I know and love."
"I'm hurt," I say with a smile, choosing to ignore the fact that my mother just called me broken, " I'm still as funny as ever and you know it."
She rolled her eyes and turned back to the road to make sure that my dad didn't take a wrong turn in the airport terminal. I know that she and my dad both want what's best for me but I need to want to get better in order for it to happen and they seem to forget sometimes that it takes time.
My dad parks and we start loading one of the carts with my suitcases and wheel it inside. After checking my bags we walk over to security and I turn to my parents.
" I guess this is goodbye for now," I say with a smile feeling my eyes starting to water. I blink to clear them, surprised I was getting so emotional. I have never been one to show emotions that easily in the past and I wondered what changed as I hugged my parents.
You know what changed Lexi. Tyler didn't want you to show emotions. He said they made you seem unattractive and clingy. He loved you and all you did was make him mad. You couldn't do anything right.
"Lex?" My dad looked at me concerned, " Did you hear what I said? You probably should get going if you want on board on time."
" Yeah," I say, clearing my head, " I'll text you when I land. I love you."
" We love you too sweetie," my mom says. My dad wraps his arm around her as she starts tearing up, " Have fun and stay safe baby."
I nod before turning around and walking through the metal detectors and walking toward my gate.
I take a seat and after thirty minutes they start boarding the plane. After scanning in and finding my seat it takes another fifteen minutes for everyone to settle down and they're closing the doors and alerting us to prepare for take off. Once we're off I recline my seat and close my eyes knowing when I wake up I'll be across the country and hoping I'll be prepared for whatever this summer has in store.