Rowan heard the sound of laughter as he went downstairs towards the warm aroma of waffles and pancakes with maple syrup, and eggs and sausages, in the dining room, accompanied by a larger than normal fruit spread. Upon further investigation, he found the source of the laughter to be Evangeline as she threw berry after berry into Fenrys' juice stained jaws. They had about a week before Fenrys would depart on a journey to find the Eastern Kingdoms as much on Aelin's behalf as well as his own; a distraction and redemption from the dark memories of Connall's brutal suicide. His eyes still bore wounds from them but we're clearer than they had been in days. Of the two slashes on his face, one had disappeared, no doubt after the party yesterday as it had been present the day before. It warmed Rowan's heart to see his brother, for they were indeed brothers after all they had been through together, and how happy he seemed now.
"Those berries didn't come out of nowhere you know," said Rowan, pretending to be strict as he faced Evangeline, an endeavour that proved hard as he looked into those innocent eyes glazed with joy. "Weren't you planning on saving any for me?" He teased.
"There's plenty to go around!" Giggled Evangeline as she threw another into Fenrys' gaping maw. "And besides, as the Lady of Caraverre, I declare it a necessity to have fun and to play with your food!" She said with an attempted regal air. "Besides, Fenrys wouldn't waste any, now wouldn't he?" Wagging his tail as he paced around her, he barked in reply, obviously pleased with the exchange. It was then that he saw the look in Rowan's eyes, of panic and uncertainty. In a flare of light, Fenrys stood before Rowan, a wolf no longer.
~~~
"What is it? Did something happen?" Fenrys asked Rowan, all thoughts of play gone from his mind. It was rare for the male to show any hint of a negative emotion, and so the eerie look in his eyes alarmed him
"No it's alright" Rowan responded, with a pointed look at Evangeline, still muttering on how as a Lady, she would govern Caraverre.
"Evangeline?" He told her, "go off and find mommy Lysandra, won't you? I'm sure she's looking for you"
She had sneaked out of her room, shared with Aedion and Lysandra, as the first rays of sunlight hit their room. He hadn't been able to sleep himself and followed her scent and laughter to the garden with Fleetfoot, all muddy from tending to the flowers and climbing trees and who knows what else. It was only after he relented and turned into a wolf that got her coming inside to clean up, with Fleetfoot following, tail wagging, as she rode him on the way back. It seemed pointless to try and get them back to sleep, so they played together, eventually ending up in the dining area to take the edge off their hunger. Sometime during their fun, Fleetfoot had left, to where he didn't know. After eating, Evangeline insisted on seeing if he could catch berries in his mouth as a wolf, and, unable to refuse the girl, he relented.
"Okay, fine," she said reluctantly. "I'll go see if mommy misses me."
After Evangeline left, he and Rowan sat across from each other at the table, the latter without any indication that he was hungry even though he'd just woke up.
"What happened?" he asked him.
"It's just, well, its Aelin," Rowan said, anxiety clear in his face.
"What do you mean its Aelin? This can't possibly be about your relationship? Your mates for god's sake!" Fenrys replied, baffled even though he suspected what had happened this morning. It had been three months, three months since the war, and Aelin had been content and untroubled, and a little too happy, he thought. And so, it didn't surprise him when Rowan said,
"She woke up screaming again, no doubt from a nightmare."
"Does this happen often still? Didn't Aelin used to have troubles sleeping just because of her nightmares?" Fenrys asked calmly.
"No, that's the thing. This hasn't happened in forever. The last time was maybe two months ago. I thought that she was healing from her trauma!" Rowan put his face in his hands dejectedly as he continued desperately. "And that's not all. When she woke up, she flinched from me when I moved towards her. She flinched from me. I don't know what to do."
Flinching from her own mate, that was unexpected. It was worse than he thought, nothing that he couldn't relate to, however.
"Fenrys, I, I hate to ask this but, have you been having nightmares lately too? I can only imagine what hell you both went through those months with Maeve but, I want to be able to help her."
Of course, Rowan wanted to help Aelin, and would no doubt use anything in his power to do so. And it was also in his own interests to help her, his queen, the only other person who would understand what type of hell he himself went through. He just didn't know what to tell Rowan. The truth? That would make things seem better, or more normal, but if he overthought it, could lead to wild theories that nobody needed to hear. Lies? It would make Aelin's nightmares seem much more vivid and unnatural.
He was spared the decision when Aelin walked in the room, looking a little tired from the dark shadows under her eyes that she had tried to hide, but overall normal. Well, as normal as she could be after a night like hers.
"Why are you guys just sitting there, not even touching your food, and looking at each other like little conspirators?" She asked them, suspicion in her eyes as she turned her head towards Rowan. "What? Did I interrupt something important? Well, let's hear it." Aelin finished, sitting down beside him, surveying the mass of food on the table.
"We were only discussing Evangeline, Aelin darling, it's nothing to worry about," Rowan said, covering them both. "Fenrys here found her outside in the fields at the first rays of dawn and we were worried that she could've been kidnapped"
"I am sure that out castle is safe from this kidnapping bullshit," said Aelin, seeing through their obvious lies. "Now tell me what's been truly going on that has you hiding it from me" she accused Rowan.
Shit, Fenrys thought. If Aelin hadn't been able to trust Rowan after her nightmare, then what's happening here isn't helping the matter at all.
Rowan seemed to come to the same understanding and spilled the tea, although he didn't mention his unanswered question to him. When Rowan was finished, however, Aelin seemed even more furious at them, a fiery storm brewing beneath her skin.
"And you thought it was okay to talk about me behind my back? Without talking to me about it beforehand?"
"Rowan's only worried for you Aelin," said Fenrys, trying to dissipate the argument. "I'm sure he didn't mean to anger you."
She looked to him, bright flames flickering in her bright blue Ashryver eyes, and sighed. "I know Fenrys, but what would you say, feel, if someone talked about your nightmares of Connall behind your back? Wouldn't you want to keep that to yourself, or talk about it only if you wanted to talk about it?"
Ouch, using Connall against him. He had asked for it though, and Aelin saw that his argument was defeated. She crossed her arms and turned back to the direction she came from, leaving in an instant. Rowan gave him an exasperated dejected look before going after his mate.
~~~
"Aelin!" Rowan called out after her, the desperation that he would only reveal to her in his voice. "Aelin, please, can we talk?"
Speeding up her pace and barely noticing where she was headed, she responded with as much ire in her voice as she could muster. "I'm not in the spirit for talking, Rowan. Just, leave me alone."
When she had emerged from the bedroom, composed and ready to take on the world, she had not expected the low murmuring in the dining room, as if the conversation wasn't for everyone's ears to hear. So of course, as any normal person would do, she sneaked over and listened in on their conversation. She was astonished to find that it was Rowan, Rowan, who was talking with Fenrys about her! The betrayal wasn't just surprising, but revealed just how much Rowan was worried for her. But even that revelation couldn't extinguish the rising flame within her. It had taken all her control not to smite them in that very room, there and then, and all of her self control to walk out after their squabble.
And so it wasn't a very good idea on Rowan's part when he gripped her forearm to turn her around.
"Aelin, please, let me explain."
"Rowan, I am so not in the mood right now" She spit back, making to turn away to continue up the tower.
"Fireheart, please!"
"Rowan," she turned back to look down at him in the eyes. "I just had the worst nightmare, and it left me very shaken. Hearing what you said about me back there, without my knowledge, has really left you in an untrustworthy state."
"But-"
"I'm sorry" she cut him off. "I know that you care for me, it's just, I need some time and space." she leaned against the tower wall. "I don't know what brought that dream on if you were going to ask. I don't know and I don't particularly think it's worth the worry. After all, who wouldn't get bad dreams when they've gone through hell and back like I have?" she said, attempting a feeble smile as she looked to her mate, waiting to hear his agreement.
"Aelin, I do care for you, and I'm sorry for violating your privacy like that today. It's just, this hasn't happened in so long, and you flinched from me when I moved towards you..." he sighed. "Aelin, can I ask you just one question? I promise that'll be the last you hear of this."
Maybe it was the sincerity in his eyes, or how she had hurt him, or the sheer distress in his voice that made her agree.
"Aelin, what... What happened in that nightmare? Why did it make you scared, scared of me?" his voice verging on the edge of hysterics.
That nightmare, she didn't even want to remember, lest talk about it. As much as it pained her to leave her mate's one most important question unanswered, she knew it would tear her apart to discuss.
"I can't answer that Rowan, you should know... You of all people should know," she said, looking anywhere but him.
Before he could react, or respond, she turned away and darted up the tower, realizing as she went that it was the way to the top of the Northern tower where she often went to sun herself. Perfect, she thought, a little rest is exactly what I need.
"Aelin!" Rowan shouted after her, the sound of his feet against the stone stairs reverberating throughout the walls as he went after her.
Going even faster, she almost collided with the guards running down towards her from the top of the tower.
"Your Majesty," one called her as the rest of them continued down to the bottom of the tower. "Majesties" he corrected upon seeing Rowan still coming up. "Do not go up there, strange things have happened."
"What?" She breathed, still winded from the run-up the tower. "What is it? What happened?"
"We heard fighting sounds inside the room, the one where you like to sun yourself, and when we went to open the door, it had been too late."
"What do you mean, it had been too late?" Aelin breathed, cold fear coursing through her blood, unable to help herself but lean against his steady chest as Rowan came up behind her and rested a calming hand on her shoulder.
"There is a body." the guard finished.