"I want to see her," said Kili obstinately, pushing himself up in his bed. It had been three days since he had fallen gravely ill, two days since he had moved back to the Master's house, and only yesterday when he had finally woken long enough to hold a cohesive conversation. But today Sara could tell he was determined to leave his bed.
"Oin said you're not to get up till tomorrow," insisted Fili, trying to push his brother back down. Kili only brushed his hand away impatiently.
"I need to see her," repeated Kili, wincing as he tried to pull his injured leg from under the blankets. "I have to thank her."
"Your thanks can wait a day," said Fili, moving to block him from getting out of bed. "Why are you being so stubborn?"
"I need to do more than just thank her. I still need to apologize."
"Apologize for what? For getting shot with an arrow? That's ridiculous. You only got shot because we were dragging her back onto the raft after she got knocked out. What could you possibly have to apologize for?"
"Sara," whined Kili, looking past Fili to where she leaned against Dwalin's empty bed. She tried not to moan as she pushed off and came to Fili's side. Her lower back has been bothering her all day and she was not sure why. Perhaps she had pulled a muscle yesterday while moving crates of papers in the records room.
"What do you want me to say?" asked Sara, looking down at him. "We almost lost you. You can't blame us for wanting to make sure you are healthy before you move around."
"Exactly," said Fili, retrieving the lunch tray they had brought Kili from the kitchens. "Now eat." Kili glared up at them but sat back against the headboard of the bed to receive the lunch tray all the same.
"I thought at least you would understand," he said, looking at Sara as though she had betrayed him. Fili handed him a fork meaningfully.
"I understand you almost died and Tauriel brought you back."
"Which is why I need to go see her. It's the second time she's done that and I haven't even thanked her."
"Second?" asked Fili, confused. "When was the first?" Kili flushed slightly under his brother's scrutiny.
"In Mirkwood," muttered Kili, pushing the eggs around on his plate with a fork. Something clicked into place in Sara's memory.
"You mean you still haven't talked to her about that?" she asked incredulously. Kili shook his head looking supremely guilty.
"About what?" asked Fili, looking back and forth between the two of them.
"Why ever not?" she asked Kili, ignoring Fili.
"I didn't have a chance," said Kili quietly.
"Didn't have a chance, or never took the chances you had?" she asked shrewdly.
"A bit of both," admitted Kili, still not meeting her eyes.
"What are you two talking about?" asked Fili impatiently.
"It's nothing," said Sara, scowling at Kili. "Just he's been avoiding an uncomfortable conversation."
"Which is why I can't put it off any longer," insisted Kili. Sara watched him for a moment, debating with herself as she chewed her lower lip.
"But Oin says you need to stay in bed," she said, feeling her resolve slip. Kili aimed right for the crack.
"Oin doesn't have to know. He went to the market to try and find more herbs," wheedled Kili.
"True," she said.
"Sara," shot Fili, surprised. She rolled her eyes at him.
"What about your lunch?" she asked, returning her attention to Kili. "You still need to eat."
"I can eat quickly."
"All of it?" she asked. Kili's usually voracious appetite had been slow in returning since his injury. He looked down at his tray and then nodded.
"It doesn't matter," interjected Fili. "Oin said not till tomorrow. You're too weak to be traipsing about." Kili was already attacking his food.
"It's not that far to Tauriel's room," said Sara. "And if we help him get there and back it shouldn't be too taxing." Fili paused, thinking.
"But we don't even know if she is awake."
"She is. I saw Legolas taking a tray into her just a few minutes ago. Besides, almost everyone is at lunch or in town so if he eats quickly no one has to know we helped him."
"Please," begged Kili between mouthfuls. "I promise I'm up to it. Aside from my leg, I feel great. Oin is just being Oin."
"Are you going to tell me what is so urgent it can't wait until tomorrow?" ask Fili, sighing.
"I'd rather not say, but it's important." Fili looked as though he were about to refuse. "Please?" begged Kili again. Fili closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose reminding Sara of Thorin who had the same habit when pressured.
"All right," caved Fili. "But only if you eat everything and she is awake."
Ten minutes later found the three of them in front of Tauriel's door. Fili had helped Kili change into fresh clothes and tend to his hair which had been in quite a state after sleeping for three days.
"Make sure she's awake," said Fili, glancing surreptitiously up and down the hall. Sara let go of Kili's side, leaving him to lean supported against Fili. She knocked on the door.
"Come in," called Tauriel's voice. Sara opened the door and poked her head inside.
"Hey, Tauriel."
"Sara, come in." Sara glanced over her shoulder.
"I'm not exactly alone."
"Who else?" asked the elf intrigued. "Surely not the hatted dwarf again?" Sara chuckled.
"No, it's not Bofur. Fili and Kili."
"They are welcome. Come in." Sara pushed the door open and Fili helped Kili inside to sit on the chair beside Tauriel's bed. "What brings you three here?"
"We came to see how you are doing," said Sara, sitting on the empty bed.
"Quite well although…" she paused to cover a yawn, "Still sleepy. It's rather odd to need to rest this much."
"How often do elves normally sleep?" asked Fili curiously.
"They only need to about once a week under normal circumstances. The last time I slept like this was when I was a child. I attempted to spell far beyond my ken and wound up sleeping for five days straight. Quite foolish of me."
"I'm sure just about everyone has done something they regret as a child," said Sara.
"Kili would know all about that wouldn't you," said Fili, nudging his brother's shoulder. "I told him cats don't have a white stripe running down their back, but he wouldn't listen."
"You didn't," moaned Sara, glancing at Kili and wrinkling her nose.
"He did," said Fili, closing his eyes and shaking his head long-sufferingly. "Mother made him sleep outside for three weeks till the stench had worn off."
"In all fairness, it was the mother who got me," said Kili glowering at Fili before turning back to Tauriel. "And it was almost worth all the trouble. The kit was really cute and every bit as playful as a real kitten." Tauriel chuckled.
"I'll take your word for it."
They lapsed into an easy rhythm of conversation, the minutes slipping by quickly. But Kili kept shooting meaningful glances at Sara and she soon remembered the reason Kili was here and that he would prefer no audience other than Tauriel.
"Walk me back to the records room?" she asked Fili in a whisper, tugging his sleeve.
"Now?"
"I'd rather have company when I arrive, even if you aren't allowed inside."
"What about Kili?"
"He'll be fine for a few minutes." And indeed it did seem that Tauriel and Kili had not even noticed their conversation. "You can help him back to his room after."
They slipped out of the room almost unnoticed save for Kili mouthing a quick thank you to Sara just before the door closed.
"So what's really going on?" asked Fili, pointing a finger back at Tauriel's room.
"Nothing. Kili just has an apology to make and he would rather not have an audience. After all, wouldn't you?" Fili frowned, as he began to walk down the hall after her.
"I suppose so. Still, I don't like secrets."
"Then don't think of it as a secret. Think of it as none of your business. There is a difference." He caught up to her, taking her arm.
"Alright, alright, point taken."
Sara's head thumped down on the table. These records were leading absolutely nowhere. She pushed a stack of papers she had already looked through to the side. Initially, it had been her thought to simply search through the records from around the assumed time of her birth looking for any abnormalities, but that idea had quickly been scuppered by the state of the records.
Why the master had been concerned about her making a mess of the papers she didn't know. There was little to no filing system, the papers haphazardly stacked in crates about the room. The only exception to this were three locked chests in the corner which Alfrid assured her contained only the Master's financial records. She had no doubt that those records were well organized, but all the others were impossible.
She pulled a fresh stack of papers in front of her and pulled the top one off the pile. The master ought to pay her for this not the other way around. She had spent two days just trying to sort out what papers were what.
First, she had sorted out all the records pertaining to the townspeople, then tried to separate those who were natives to Laketown from the refugees from Dale. But she was soon forced to give up that as well. Smaug's theft of the mountain had happened over a hundred and fifty years ago, and roughly five to seven human generations had elapsed since them. Many of the people had intermarried with each other so it was nigh impossible to separate them.
So here she sat going through them all, simply trying to find any record that dated to around the time of her birth, but even that task seemed daunting. The master was not only a lamentable records organizer but equally as bad at making said records. The records were decent for about 80 years after Smaug's attack, but then fell into neglect, and the Master's leadership brought little if any change.
She had been at this for hours and now to top off her frustration the pain that had settled in her lower back that morning had now moved around to her front as well. At times it was almost bad enough to drive her back to the rooms to find Oin, but the records would not search themselves and who knew how long they would be here in Lake-town. She would simply have to ask Oin for something later.
Sara's senses jumped to full alert when Alfrid rose and approached her with yet another crate of papers. The Master's right-hand man had been anything but helpful and all too handsy the past few days. He would make excuses to be next to her, reach across her, touch her whenever possible. It had started tame enough but had slowly escalated day by day.
He was annoying, but she felt no real threat from him as of yet. Alfrid might think himself the next big thing, but Sara knew she had the upper hand. He carried no weapons and was physically weaker than the average man. Add to it that he assumed that his bigger size would give him the advantage and she felt secure. It had required much of her patients not to lash out at him for his unwelcome overtures but while his words and touches were loaded they were ultimately harmless.
Normally she would have addressed the situation before this point but without Alfrid she would have no access to the records. Unfortunately, there was the need to play nice. Well nice enough. She made no attempts to hold back her barbed sarcasm. But it only seemed to roll right off Alfrid like water on a duck. She wasn't sure if he was persistent and overconfident in himself or simply chose to ignore her overt rejection of him.
"Here is another one," said Alfrid, setting the new crate down with a thump before straddling the bench facing her. He was so close that his knees pressed against her thigh and lower back. She scooted further down the bench, trying not to grind her teeth.
"Thanks," she all but hissed. "How many more?"
"At least eight," he said, ostensibly leaning around her to see the corner where the remaining files were stacked. "It could take us at least three more days."
Us? He had done nothing but take every opportunity to trail his fingers over her skin, touch her hair, or make sexually loaded comments.
"Here," she said, shoving an empty crate into his chest. "Why don't you make yourself useful. File those papers and go put them away."
"I could do that," agreed Alfrid, setting the crate to decide. "But I don't want to. It's getting on in the day and I thought you might enjoy some dinner."
"I don't feel like eating," she replied shortly. In reality, she had an irksome craving for a Twix bar. More's the pity Middle-Earth didn't have candy bars. "Besides the Master would be angry if we brought food in here. "
"I rather doubt he would care," said Alfrid with the sniff. She had to admit he was probably right. She didn't think the Master cared one whit for the records.
"At any rate, I was going to suggest we dine in my quarters." Alfrid reached out and trailed a fingertip up her bare arm to her shoulder. Sara brushed his hand away, not looking at him as she pretended to read the paper. Truthfully she was trying hard not to imagine just how easily his teeth could be knocked in. Diplomacy. Play nice till she got what she wanted.
"If I were actually going to eat dinner I would just go eat with the others in the dining room."
"But it would be so much more private in my room," said Alfrid, scooting closer again and slipping an arm around her. She stiffened.
"Hard pass," she said, glaring at him. He cocked his head to the side in confusion. "It means no!"
Anger flashed across his face as she slipped out of his grip and stood. She fully expected him to give up for a while. What she was not expecting was for his hand to close around her wrist in a vice-like grip. He stood, grinning at her as though nothing had changed, but she knew the perverse game of cat-and-mouse they had been playing for the past three days had finally come to a head. Very well so be it.
"I insist you come to dinner with me in my quarters," he said, yanking her back to him. "After all, it's the least you can do to thank me for all the help I've given you." She turned her arm against his thumb, breaking his grip, and jumped back angrily, rubbing her wrist.
"I know what you want and it has absolutely nothing to do with food." He frowned for a moment but then the smile returned, only less convincing than before.
"Good," he said, lunging forward to grab her again. She jerked out of the way and smacked his wrist hard. He glared at her now. "I needn't bother with the pretense of stopping by the kitchens on the way to my bed."
He lunged for her once more and she would have dodged if she hadn't backed over a stray crate. She fell on her right side, only just sparing her head by turning to land on her arm. Pain shot up her forearm from elbow to wrist. Alfrid swooped down and dragged her to her feet, his fingers digging tight around her bicep.
"Let go." She shoved at his chest with her good arm but his grip was tight and he did not let go.
"No," he said with a false simper. The pain in her forearm was receding, giving way to a prickling sensation. She flexed her fingers. Good, not broken. "I intend to have my way with you whether you want me or not."
"I will only warn you once," she said, flexing her bicep. "Never touch me again."
"Or what?" he sneered, dragging her close enough for his rotten breath to waft over her face. "Going to run to your dwarf friends?"
He never saw it coming. One moment she was glaring up at him and the next he was on his stomach, face pressed to the floor, her heel digging in between his shoulder blades. Blood trickled from his crooked nose as she twisted his arm behind him in a particularly painful control hold. She bent over him so he was sure to hear her.
"I don't have to run to anyone for help," she said quietly. "Especially not from the likes of you."
He wriggled, trying to shift under her grip, but she pressed harder. He groaned, pain flashing across his face.
"Don't move," she said. "Not unless you want me to dislocate your shoulder or worse."
"Let me up," he seethed.
"I'm not letting you up until we come to an understanding. A permanent one."
"What do you want?"
"What I've always wanted, to search the records in peace. I want you to leave me the heck alone."
"You can be sure I will see to it that you never set foot in this room again," he growled up at her. "I'll see you are all run out of town this very night."
"I wouldn't do that," she said, pushing his arm further and making him cry out in pain. "It would be hazardous to your health."
"And what's to stop me?" he hissed.
"Interfere with my search again in any way and I will tell the others what you just tried to do to me. Perhaps you might get us run off but do you really want thirteen dwarves out for your blood." He chuckled darkly.
"So you do run back to that dwarf mob when you're in trouble." She pulled Fili's knife from where it was hidden and pressed the flat of the blade to the back of Alfrid's neck. He froze eyes going wide in panic.
"Does it look like I need their help right now?" She turned the knife so the edge bit into his skin. He didn't respond. "Just because I'm smaller than you doesn't mean I'm helpless. I simply don't like hurting people if I can avoid it. But my friends have no such qualms."
"So what will you do now?" he asked, spitting blood from his mouth.
"That depends on you. I can let you up and we can go on as if this never happened, you simply stay out of my way, and I won't tell anyone why or how you came to be face down on the floor with a broken nose. If not I may have to find a more permanent option. It's your choice." He scoffed.
"You have already admitted you dislike violence, how permanent could your options be?" She put the knife away and pushed his arm again until he groaned, tears escaping the corners of his eyes.
"From this position I know of at least three quick ways to break your arm. With compound fractures in both, I doubt you will ever be able to touch another woman. If I ever hear of you forcing yourself on anyone ever again, in any way, I will do just that." She pushed his arm until he hissed.
"Alright, I yield," he cried, his eyes shut tight in pain.
"Very well," she said, easing back but not letting him up just yet. "We pretend this never happened and I will continue my search without your further interference. But if you ever lay so much as a finger on me again I will make it difficult for you to hold a spoon. Understand? And remember just in case you're thinking of causing problems for Thorin or the others, all it takes is a few words from me and you will have more than me to contend with. Are we agreed?" He didn't respond immediately. She pressed.
"Yes," he hissed in pain. "Agreed."
"Swear it!"
"I swear it!"
She let go of his arm. The last thing she saw before she slammed the door behind her was Alfrid on his knees wiping his bloody nose on the back of his hand.
The walk, or rather storm back to her room was largely uneventful save for the brief greetings she returned to Sigrid and Tilda who had come to visit Bilbo and Bofur. She kept the conversation short knowing she was in no mood to be around people. She shut her door behind her with a sigh of relief.
The pain in her abdomen had only grown stronger and came in waves and the beginning of a headache was troubling her in her temples. She collapsed onto the bed curling in on herself before she noticed the large pot hung over the fire. Upon investigation, she found that once again Fili had filled it with water and left it for her to enjoy an evening bath. Bless Fili.
In no time at all she had prepared the bath in front of a crackling fire, even dragging the tall folding screen over. With the screen behind her and the fire before it created a warm pocket of air to bathe in. Eagerly she undressed, but just as she slid out of her undergarments the moodiness, headache, and gnawing ingredients pain in her abdomen suddenly made perfect sense.
Her fingers fairly flew to the soft but scarred skin of her left bicep. She massaged the flesh searching for the small plastic rod that should have been there. The longer she searched the more certain she became that it was truly gone. The implant was missing. Great! Just flipping great! She ran her fingers through her hair trying to think.
It must have happened when the spider's fangs had punctured her arm. She had been out of it when the elves had fixed her arm, but if they had found the tiny plastic implant it was not outrageous that they would have removed it, recognizing that it was not a part of her body. That must be it. The spider's fangs and poison had left her skin puckered and marred. Once it had been implanted a year ago she hardly ever thought about the birth control, largely forgetting it was there.
What was she going to do for supplies? Oin? No. Although he would likely have some experience with her current problem, he was very unlikely to have the things she needed and he could not help her in the long run. What did the women of Middle-Earth use this time of month anyway?
Sigrid! Not only was she a human who had surely reached maturity, but she was also studying to be a healer. No doubt she would be able to help her. Quickly redressing Sara went in search of the girl. She did not have too far to look as the two sisters were just outside Bilbo's room. Quietly Sara gestured Sigrid forward and ushered her inside her own room.
"Sara, what is it?" asked Sigrid concerned. Without preamble, Sara explained her predicament. "Of course," said Sigrid, digging in the bag hung by her hip. "I always try to carry some supplies just in case, even if it's not for me. Normally I have a rough cycle as well. But why aren't you using herbs to suppress it?" Sara's mind raced. She couldn't very well explain the loss of her implant...
"I lost my supply when we were being hunted by the orcs," she fibbed. "Is there a chance you have any to spare?"
"Not with me," said Sigrid, frowning. "But I could bring you some."
"Could you? That would be amazing. I would go to Oin for help but dwarves don't use any type of contraceptive. The last time I brought up the subject I'm afraid I embarrassed myself and the company quite a lot. Hazards of being the only female in a group of thirteen males."
"You talked about your cycle with the dwarves?" asked Sigrid, surprised.
"Well, it wasn't exactly by choice. There was a misunderstanding and they thought I was pregnant. I had to explain to them how it was impossible because of the uh… herbs I was using or they would have sent me away."
"I didn't know you had that kind of relationship with the dwarves," said Sigrid, her cheeks flushing but her eyes sparking with curiosity. "Was it their leader Thorin or the blond one Fili?" she asked in a whisper. "They both fawn over you, just each in their own different way."
It took Sara far too long to connect the dots and when she did, she felt heat creeping up her back of her neck.
"No, no… I didn't mean… I'm not intimate with any of them," assured Sara. But as she said it, she couldn't keep her imagination turning down that tantalizing rabbit hole. A new heat began to coil low in her belly as her mind generously provided a very vivid and pleasurable scenario.
"But then why would they assume you were pregnant if it were not one of them?" asked Sigrid. Sara shook herself, stashing that particular train of thought away for later.
"I was using a supplement that pregnant women usually use so they all assumed I was too. It was not long after we first began our journey together."
"Oh, I see... Sorry."
"It's okay," assured Sara. "I'm kind of getting used to people assuming that. You're not the first, and I admit that Thorin and I are on more friendly terms, but Fili is more like my brother. In fact, he is trying to make that a reality."
"I don't know that that was possible."
"Well neither did I, but apparently it is." Tilda giggled loudly in the next room over.
"I should collect Tilda," said Sigrid, pressing a small pouch into Sara's hand. Sara opened it but quickly caught Sigrid by the arm.
"Um... How exactly do I use these?" asked Sara, feeling foolish. Sigrid gave her an odd look.
"Surely this is not your first cycle."
"No, but these particular supplies are... a bit different than what I'm accustomed to."
Quickly and patiently Sigrid explained the use of the items and cloth in the bag. Sara was relieved to learn that while primitive, Middle-Earth women dealt with their periods in much the same way that she was used to.
"Anything else?" asked Sigrid.
"Actually yes," said Sara, thinking of her restless nights. Over the past few nights, it had still been difficult to sleep and she often found herself awake for long stretches into the night. While her dreams have become slightly more bizarre they had not grown any less jarring. Last night she had dreamt that Ori had been kidnapped and shot by gangsters. She knew it was a ridiculous scenario, but the fear and panic had been real enough to ensure that she had not gone back to sleep.
"Do you have anything that will allow me to sleep without dreaming?" There was a look of pity and understanding on Sigrid's face.
"Of course, I will bring some as well." She paused before resting her hand on Sara's arm. "I'm sorry you lost your friend."
The girl's unlooked-for kindness brought a lump to Sara's throat. It wasn't until the girl wrapped her arms quickly around her that Sara felt the tear slip down her cheek. Grateful for another female's understanding and attention, she squeezed back. After a long moment, Sigrid let go.
"I should go," she said, giving Sara's hand one last squeeze before turning to go.
"Oh, one more thing," said Sara, swiping at her eyes. "If you see Alfrid, avoid him. He will be in a particularly bad mood tonight."
"Don't worry about me." Sigrid patted her thigh. "Da has insisted I carry a dagger for a few years now, but thanks for the warning."
"Oh and Sigrid."
"Yes?"
"When you come back, just come in, I'm going to take a bath."
"All right Sara, see you in a while."
"And Sigrid." She was a bit hesitant to let the girl leave and she was not sure why.
" Yes?"
"Thank you, for everything."
"You're welcome."
The candle flickered as Thorin tipped it, pouring the wax onto the letter, sealing it closed. Taking the quill he addressed it to Sara before tucking it inside his coat pocket. Would to Mahal she never had cause to read it. He glanced at Kili who was asleep again, despite it being much earlier than he normally retired.
After his trip to the town to see about the progress on Sara's new coat, Thorin had found Fili helping his brother hobble back towards their shared room. He had not even questioned the pair as he held the door open for them. Besides which, Fili and Kili had long since proved they were beyond the age of censure. It appeared as though Kili had overdone it, whatever he had been up to.
In the room down the hall, he could hear a majority of the company laughing loudly. Thorin was tempted to go and tell them off, but a few moments later the noise died down once more. He trusted Fili to keep the commotion to a minimum. The elf captain, Tauriel, was still weak and tired from the spells she had cast on Kili, and the pair of them were not yet fully recovered.
Dwalin on the other hand seemed to finally have recovered his strength and stamina save the muscles in his arm and shoulder which would still need time and attention if they were to regain their previous strength. The spider's venom had eaten away at Dwalin's visible bulk, but at least his appetite had returned. If he continued to eat the way he had tonight he would soon be his old self. That left only Bilbo, but even the hobbit was mostly recovered from his cold, only needing to carry about extra handkerchiefs. It was a relief that the company was finally on the mend.
Digging in his pack Thorin withdrew Sara's phone and the charger before blowing out the candle by Kili's bed and the one on the desk. Pocketing the phone he slipped into the hallway and made his way quickly to Sara's room. They had both been so busy the past three days and he had been lucky to see her at mealtimes if at all.
It was irksome, but the Master had insisted Sara be the only one to see the records. Then again the master was irksome in more ways than one. For the past few days, Thorin had tried to meet with the Master but he had been stymied at every turn. It was infuriating, but at least it had afforded him the needed time to properly read The Hobbit.
He could now understand Sara's frustration with the author. Perhaps to one reading a casual story there was enough detail, but certainly not for someone who was living the book. Between the lack of description and the blatant differences between the book and reality, he was beginning to understand the predicament Sara had been in.
One thing he had greatly enjoyed the past few days was the chance to learn more about Sara in a passive manner. The images on her phone had proved most entertaining, although he had certainly come away from it with a plethora of questions about her and Earth. At times the images drove home just how young Sara really was. Some had been pure lunacy, especially when the pink-haired girl was involved. Despite her being considered an adult by human standards, Sara still only had 24 years of experience to draw on. It was odd, at times she seemed much older. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that she had been raised by an elderly woman and had no siblings. When the closest person to you was older than you by a significant degree, it tended to age one in inexplicable ways, at least in some aspects. Still, he would be sorry to part with the unadulterated window into understanding Sara, but it was time her phone was returned.
He raised his hand to knock on her door, the sound of her moving about inside reaching his ears.
"It's unlocked," she called, and he gently pushed the door open. He stepped inside and for a moment he thought the room was empty. She was not visible. The bed was empty as was the chair beside, but then his eyes were drawn to the pile of clothing on the floor at the foot of the bed. He was suddenly very aware of the warm humidity in the room and the splashing coming from behind the screen spread in front of the fire. The towel draped over the top of the screen was pulled out of sight and wet feet slapped onto the floor.
"Sigrid, thanks for so much for..."
"Don't come out," warned Thorin, looking away and backing towards the door, painfully aware of the way his voice cracked.
"Thorin?" squeaked Sara. "Is that you?"
"Yes. Stay there. I... I will come back later." His hand was already on the doorknob.
"Wait." He froze, not daring to turn around. "You don't have to go."
"But I should."
"I don't want you to."
He swallowed. "You are indecent."
"I'm also behind a screen," she huffed. "Unless you are Superman and have x-ray vision it's not really an issue. I'm almost finished."
He glanced toward the screen and then wished he hadn't. While it was true that she was not in plain sight, she cast a rather revealing silhouette on the screen and it was only too obvious she was not using a towel. He looked away, trying to ignore the pinch in his trousers.
"I haven't talked to you in days. Don't leave. Pull the chair over and sit there until I'm done. Lock the door if it makes you feel better." His grip on the door slackened slightly as he glanced at the chair in the corner. Did he dare?
"Please?" He groaned within himself feeling his resolve slip. It was silent a moment as he debated.
"You can go if you want to," she said quietly. "I just miss you that's all."
He locked the door.
Retrieving the chair he placed with the back to the screen and sat. There was a splash as Sara returned to the tub. This was not a wise idea. He swallowed the growing lump in his throat, trying to keep his imagination in check as he listened to her bathe. An awkward silence filled the room.
"So why did you come?" she asked, breaking through some of the tension. Relieved to have something to distract his dangerously wandering mind, he answered.
"I finished the book earlier today and thought I would return your phone."
"Oh," she said. There was a pause in her splashing. "What did you think?"
Durin's beard, this was not a much easier topic. "It is dragon sickness," he said, at last voicing his greatest fear. "It perfectly describes my descent into madness. It bears all the same earmarks as my father and grandfather before me." She was quiet again.
"But the book has been wrong before," she said hopefully. "Maybe it's wrong about this as well."
"Perhaps," he said without conviction.
"Is there anything we can do to prevent it?"
"Not unless we would leave the mountain to Smaug."
"Is it the gold that causes the sickness or the dragon?" she asked tentatively.
"I'm not certain," he admitted. "It could be both. There is the belief that the treasure brooded over by a dragon is cursed and will drive one to madness."
"But that wouldn't explain your father or grandfather."
"No, it wouldn't. In all honesty, there has been little work done to find the cause… or a cure."
"What if you stayed out of the treasure room? Would that help?"
"Perhaps, but there is still the Arkenstone. It must be found or else…"
"Or else what?" she urged.
"Dane," he said.
"Who?"
"My cousin from the Iron Hills. He is the one who comes to our aid in the battle."
"What about him?"
"He would come even without the stone. If the mountain was already ours he would help us defend it."
"So we didn't need the Arkenstone?"
"I don't believe so, not if we convince him of our story."
"Would he believe us?" He thought for a moment.
"He would. We have a history together. The problem remains that we have no way to get word to him until we find the ravens. If the ravens still live."
"Too bad the Master doesn't have a messenger bird."
"He would not lend it to us even if he did. We will be lucky to leave here with any coin in our pockets," he said bitterly.
"Still having trouble speaking to the Master?" she guessed. He snorted.
"That would be an understatement. He refuses to even see me let alone the elf prince. He still will not accept that Legolas is the son of Thranduil. I truly believe he intends to keep us here only until our purses run dry."
"Sounds about right," she muttered. "And with things the way they are in Mirkwood we aren't likely to get any letters of authentication anytime soon."
"No. We have little choice but to wait on Myrin and Lierin and hope that Gandalf can rectify the situation. Meanwhile, we have to be on the lookout."
"For what?"
"Elves or letters from Mirkwood. If news were to reach the master of Thranduil's supposed desire to see us in chains, he would surely turn us over in a heartbeat. It's been keeping the elves quite busy actually. They have already intersected two birds bearing letters and a small contingency of elves."
"What happened?"
"Some of the elves sided with Legolas and Airidan but if a few have had to be detained."
"That's not good."
"Indeed not. The longer we wait the more we risk being exposed." Her splashing continued for a moment and he was careful when he spoke again.
"They located Ruven's body." All fell still and silent behind the screen, and he suddenly wished to see her face, to get to gauge her expression.
"That's... That's good," she said, her voice oddly hollow.
"They gave him a proper funeral. I thought you might like to know."
"Thank you," she said, her voice cracking slightly. "That is good to know. I'm... I'm glad."
"Legolas said they found a good spot near the edge of the forest that seems to be spared the darkness that creeps over the rest of it. They buried him yesterday."
Sara was quiet as the splashing continued. Perhaps he should have let Legolas tell her. He never felt himself very eloquent in situations such as these.
"So what did you think of the phone?", she asked at length, a slightly false note of cheeriness in her voice. He gladly took the out.
"I rather enjoyed looking at all your images, but I admit I have more questions than answers now."
"I bet you do. What was the biggest one?" The question flew immediately to his tongue.
"Who was the man featured in so many of your images?"
"Who? Tall, skinnyish, and bright blonde hair with brown eyes?"
"Yes, that one." It had been slightly irksome how often this particular male showed up on her phone.
"That's Nathan," she said. "Hang on, ducking underwater for a moment." He waited, his knee bobbing as his mind warred between this unknown Nathan and his overactive and highly visual imagination. Sara blew out of breath as she resurfaced.
"Who is this Nathan?" he asked impatiently.
"He is...was my best friend growing up. His family moved in next door when I was seven. He was the closest thing I had to a sibling back then and it worked for him because his family had twelve kids."
"Twelve children?" asked Thorin, astounded. "His mother must have been a highly revered woman."
"Well she was extremely patient that's for sure. Anyway, Nathan should have been married by now." She was silent for a moment. "I missed it. Wish I could have been there to see it." A modicum of guilt washed whatever jealousy he might have felt away.
"I'm sorry... " he began.
Someone knocked on the door and the door handle jiggled.
"Sara?" called a female voice. "I brought the herbs for you. The door is locked."
Sara swore under her breath. Splashing, wet feet slapping the floor, and the towel disappeared from where it hung over just over his head.
"One second," called Sara. "I forgot I locked it after all." Sara peeked around the edge of the screen.
"Its' Sigrid," she said quietly. "Quick back here."
Before he could even rise from the chair Sara was dashing, towel-clad, to the door. She paused and looked back at him, clutching the cloth around her chest as she pointed urgently behind the screen once more. With some difficulty, he tore his eyes from her bare wet legs and rose hastily to hide behind the screen. The door creaked open.
"Come in, I'm so sorry," said Sara as Sigrid entered the room. The door closed.
"It's all right, I'm just sorry to have made you leave the bath. "
"No problem, I probably should have gotten out sooner."
"I brought these. Steep five leaves in a cup of tea once every seven days and that should prevent any future problems. Add three of these tonight and it will take the edge of the pain. You can repeat that as needed. They are not difficult herbs to get a hold of but you do need to know exactly what you're looking for. And this is to help you sleep. Right before bed crush one seed between your back teeth and suck on it for about fifteen seconds but don't do it for too long or use more than one a night or you'll find it extremely difficult to wake in the morning."
Why was Ranson's daughter bringing Sara herbs? Sara could have asked Oin for anything she needed. Was she still struggling to sleep? He listened as Sara repeated the instructions trying to glean the purpose of the first herb. Was she sick? Had he neglected her so much of late that he hadn't noticed?
"Were you able to figure out the supplies I left you?" asked Sigrid. The girl sounded nervous.
"Oh... yes," said Sara. Sara's voice was embarrassed. "They're not too different from what I'm used to, just wanted to be certain."
"I didn't realize that solutions differed from region to region," said Sigrid. Sara cleared her throat.
"Um… well yeah they differ a little bit."
What in Durin's name were these two discussing? He leaned forward almost unknowingly as if by closing the distance he would be able to understand better. His weight shifted slightly and his boots scraped across the floor. The girl's chatter instantly fell silent and Thorin froze, praying he had not given himself away. Human ears were not that good where they?
" I... I should get going," said Sigrid, more nervous than before. Evidently, human ears were that good. The fire popped behind him and he realized that his own silhouette must now be clearly visible from the other side of the screen.
"Oh... No, Sigrid," started Sara. "It's not... I mean."
"It's none of my business," said Sigrid hastily, the door creaking open.
"It's not like that!" said Sara, her voice flooded with embarrassment and uncertainty. "Sigrid don't…"
"It's alright, I told Da I would be home quickly. It's getting late. But Sara... "
"Yes?"
"Um… just... The leaves are not fully effective for at least three weeks, so just bear that in mind."
Fully effective? What were they talking about now?
"Sigrid, I told you it's not like that."
"Sara, I'm not a child. Don't worry about it. "I'll leave you two alone. Sorry to have interrupted."
"But you..." began Sara, but the girl's steps were already fleeing down the hall. Sara closed the door and sighed. "You can come out of hiding."
"I may as well have left my boots beside your bed for all the good it did." He did not leave the screen.
"Yeah... She definitely has some strong suspicions. Luckily she doesn't strike me as the gossipy type. Are you coming out?"
"You are only in a towel," said Thorin, trying to banish the pleasant image while simultaneously hoping it would linger with greater clarity.
"I still have to rinse my hair." He hung his head in defeat. "Close your eyes, " she commanded.
He did and instantly regretted it. Imaginations worked so much better with one's eyes closed and his was currently overactive and amply supplied. So distracted was he that he jumped when Sara's hand circled his wrist. Gently she pulled him around the screen till something bumped his leg.
"Here's your chair, but keep your eyes closed for a moment. I'm going to grab my clothes." He did as told. When he heard splashing again he opened his eyes. He frowned. On the little table beside the beds we're the herbs Sigrid had delivered. Was Sara perhaps keeping secrets from him again? Sara's splashing continued for a moment and then he could hear her feet on the floor again.
"What did the girl bring you?" he asked cautiously. There was a long silent pause.
"Just some stuff to help me feel better."
"Did Dwalin not share his supply to help you sleep?"
"He would have, but his got ruined in the river." Clothing rustled.
"So you have had trouble sleeping all these nights?"
She was silent again. He should have seen it himself but he had been too focused on finishing the book and dealing with the penny-pinching Master.
"I bit," she admitted at last. "I don't have as many nightmares as I used to but it's harder to go back to sleep on my own."
"What of the other herbs? Why take them? Are you injured? You are in pain."
"No, I'm not injured."
"Then why?"
"Um... personal reasons."
What was she keeping from him?
"Sara I…"
Sara gasped in surprise and there was a loud crash and bang. Before he even had a chance to think about it he was on his feet and around the screen.
"Sara, are you all right?"
"Ow..." groaned Sara. She was sprawled on the floor midway through dressing. Thankfully she had already donned her trousers and top undergarment but she was all tangled up in her shirt, one arm in and the other out.
"Are you all right?" He asked again, bending to help her up.
"Just peachy," she said, rubbing the back of her head, but it was her left elbow that caught his attention. It was red and beginning to bruise, but it was too far along to have happened only just now.
"I should have wiped the floor but…" she said.
He wasn't listening as he took her left and examined the newly forming bruises. The elbow would be a nasty bruise, but what caused his blood to boil was the bruise higher up on her bicep.
"Thanks, I got it from here," she said, trying to take her arm back. He did not let go.
"Who did this to you?" He tried but knew he failed to mask the anger and frustration in his voice.
"Did what?"
He did not answer, instead wrapped his fingers gently over the red handprint on her bicep.
"Who did this?"
"I'd rather not say," she said, at last, pulling her arm from his grip to thread it through her sleeve. She bent to mop up the puddle on the floor. "Sara who has harmed you? I promised I would protect and defend you."
"That's exactly what I don't want you to do," she said, not looking up. He crouched and took the towel from her to wipe the damp from the floor. Neither of them moved, just remained in a crouch on the floor. Just what kind of trouble was she in that she wouldn't turn to him?
"Why? Why would you not have me defend you?" he asked softly. "I thought we agreed no more secrets." Her shoulders fell.
"Your right, we did."
"Will you confide in me? I worry for you."
"Alright, but you have to promise me you won't do anything about it."
"How can I..."
"No, you have to promise. Trust that I have my reasons." He studied her face, the firelight dancing across her nose and cheeks, glinting in her stubborn green eyes.
"Very well, I give my word not to out not to act on your behalf until you ask it of me. Now explain why I must do that which runs counter to my nature?"
She smiled slightly and stood. She scooped a cup of boiling water from the large pot hanging over the fire and took it to the little table where she dropped five leaves from one pouch and three from another into the water. Sighing she said onto the bed.
"It was Alfrid."
Fire rose in him so fast that before he knew it he was at the door with it half-open. He would see to it the weasel of a man never...
"You promised!" scolded Sara, pulling at his arm.
"Why would you protect the likes of him?" he hissed. It made no sense!
"I didn't," she argued, pulling at him. "I broke his nose." He paused.
"You what?"
"I broke his nose," she said simply, folding her arms over her chest. "I'm not trying to protect that scumbag. I'm trying to protect my access to the records, to possibly finding my family. Now, will you go sit down, please?"
He didn't move but also didn't resist as she prized his fingers from the knob and led him to sit on the bed.
"Explain," he demanded, and she did. The more she spoke the hotter and brighter the fire in his chest grew.
"He tried to... And you expect me to do nothing?" he growled.
"Yes I do," she snapped, jabbing a finger at him. "I can handle him. It's the reason I took up self-defense, to begin with, to handle creeps like him. Look, if you pulverize him I won't be able to search the records so please don't do anything, at least not yet." He started her for a long moment.
"Very well, I will do as you wish, provided he does not lay another finger on you."
"Thank you," she said, squeezing his arm. "I know it's asking a lot, but it's important. Just a few more days and I hope to be done." She reached for her cup and fished the leaves from her cup. She took a cautious sip before her face crinkled in disgust.
"Man that's bitter, I wonder if I can add sugar next time." She downed the rest of the cup with a shudder before crawling further onto the bed and sitting cross-legged beside him. She moaned, rubbing at her temples.
"What ails you, Sara?" He asked, unable to hold his tongue any longer. "Why did you seek out Sigrid and not Oin?"
"Because Oin would not have had what I needed." She groaned and grabbed a pillow, hunching over it as she crushed it to her chest.
"What is this sickness?"
"I'm not sick," she mumbled into the pillow. The back of her neck and ears were flushed. Did she have a fever?
"Then why the herbs?" She lifted her face and he could see frustration and embarrassment there.
"You dwarves are so nosey," she said, burying her face into the pillow again. "Promise you won't ignore me for three days like last time?"
Last time? When had he ignored her when she was sick?
"Why would I?" Her face was quite red and she wouldn't look directly at him.
"You all did last time I talked about it. The whole lot of you wouldn't speak to me for days."
"Sara what are you talking…"
"Remember me telling you about the implant in my arm, the one that prevents pregnancy and other things?"
"Yes," he said, uncertainly. "How could I forget? It's a very strange thing."
"Well, it was in my left arm."
"Was?"
She held up her left arm and he could see the puckered scar tissue where the spider's fangs had pierced her soft skin.
"It's gone. It must have happened when the spider bit me or when the elves stitched me up. Either way, it's been gone for a few weeks, and well... "
"You are fertile once again," he finished, sudden understanding breaking over him like a tidal wave.
"Well yeah, I guess that's one way to put it. Now, do you see why I chose Sigrid and not Oin?"
He felt like such a fool. An utter fool. Of course, she would have been hesitant to speak of it. She had been right to seek out the girl. Although Oin would have known how to help the symptoms he could not have offered her permanent relief, let alone the required supplies.
"I am sorry," he said, clasping his hands together in his lap. "It seems all I do is make assumptions and force you to reveal things you do not wish to."
"I don't mind you knowing," she muttered. "I was just trying to spare us both a bit of embarrassment."
"I am not embarrassed," he assured. "I'm glad you could tell me and relieved that it was not a more serious condition. "
"Speak for yourself," she muttered into the pillow, clutching it tighter still. "These cramps are killing me. It feels like I swallowed a slow-acting acid."
He brushed a damp string of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear, letting his fingers linger on her cheek.
"Is there any way I may help you?" She leaned into his hand and shook her head.
"I don't think so. I just wish I had a heat pack for my back. It's always what hurts the worst."
"Would you like me to rub it for you?"
"Would you?" she asked hopefully, raising her head.
He shucked off his coat and went to sit at the head of the bed patting the space between his legs. With care, she crawled over to him and situated herself before him. Sara fairly melted over the pillow she clutched as he began to rub her lower back. She groaned.
"Does that hurt?"
"No, it feels wonderful," she said between satisfied grunts and sighs. "I will definitely have to keep you around."
"I intend to stay around as long as you permit it," he assured. She was quiet for a few minutes save for the sounds of relief he rubbed from her back.
"Would you maybe rub under the shirt instead," she asked. "It's just your hands are always so warm and the heat feels really good."
"Are you certain?" She nodded and he obliged her, trying not to think of the agreement he and Fili had to come to as his fingers rubbed over the smooth skin of her lower back and sides. It was as if she had read his mind.
"So are you ever going to tell me what you and Fili decided on?"
"There is not much to tell. It is a simple solution. Fili agreed to suspend the need for a chaperone, and I will forgo any formal courting customs until I have bested him."
"That's all Fili wanted?"
"Also, we are to avoid any compromising situations." She glanced over her shoulder at him.
"Is this a compromising situation?"
"Do you feel compromised?" She shook her head.
"No, I feel relaxed. You are good at this."
"Good. There is one more thing."
"What's that?"
"I am to allow you to take the lead for now. You said this was happening faster than you were prepared for and you wished to know me better. So for now we will follow your, as you call it, dating customs."
"Oh," she said sitting up. He paused.
"Is that not satisfactory?"
"Oh no, it's a good plan, it's just I wasn't expecting to have to take the lead. I'm not quite sure what to do. It's not like we can go out to dinner or take in a movie. In fact, our whole situation doesn't exactly lend itself to a dating atmosphere. Still, I suppose we can go back to the basics."
"Which are?" he asked, resuming his massaging.
"Well, the whole point is to get to know each other better, so I guess we could start by playing a question-and-answer game."
A game?
"How is it played?"
"Simple, we ask each other questions, but only something you are willing to answer in return. It's an ongoing game and you can refuse only one question each day."
"Only one?"
"Yep, one a day. Want to play?"
He mulled that over for a moment. He could see the appeal in such a game, but he was also unsure he was ready to answer certain questions.
"Come on it's easy. Tonight will be just a test run, you can refuse any question, but only for tonight. Deal? If you don't like it after that we don't have to play it anymore."
"Very well, you begin."
"What's your favorite color and why?" It was a frivolous enough question, yet he had to think a moment. It was not something he often had cause to consider.
"Green," he said at last.
"Why?" she asked, turning to look at him.
"Your eyes are green," he said simply. "They remind me of uncut emeralds." Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink. "What of your preferred color?"
"I like aquamarine, a blue-green color. It reminds me of the ocean."
"You have seen an ocean?" he asked surprised.
"Yep when I, was a kid. Have you?"
"No, I have never been that far west."
"Now it's your turn to ask a question." She prompted.
"Very well, why did you take up self-defense before coming to Middle Earth?"
"Ah, see that's one I'm going to pass on today. I don't want to hash it out tonight, but you can ask Dwalin if you like." He certainly would. "What about you? Why did you choose to learn to fight?"
"Necessity, I had no choice. Without the means to protect myself, I would have perished long ago."
"I suppose that was the obvious answer. Okay, what's one of your favorite childhood memories?" Once again he had to pause to collect his thoughts.
"Much of what you would consider my childhood was not happy, but I treasure memories of my mother. She would tell stories to Frerin, Dis, and I when we were small." This game proved intriguing for it called upon him to think more closely about things that would normally be left forgotten.
"Do you miss her?" asked Sara softly, bringing him back to the moment.
"Yes, I miss her, what I still recall of her. But come now that's two questions I've answered." She chuckled.
"I suppose you're right. One of my favorite memories was when I make cookies with my grandmother for her birthday."
"It sounds like a delicious memory."
"Actually not so much, see we accidentally forgot about the cookies and burned so bad they set fire to the kitchen."
"This is a happy memory?"
"Well, I guess the fun part was helping her design and build a new kitchen."
"I shall endeavor to keep you out of the kitchen," he said, only half teasing.
"Probably for the best she agreed," she agreed. "I really am a lamentable cook. Your turn to ask." What else did he wish to know?
"What do you fear?"
"Well since coming here the list has only grown. Spiders are a new addition but one of my biggest fears right now is that I still might lose you, Fili, or Kili. I've been close to losing both you and Kili now and they were both things that I foresaw in the mirror in Rivendell. Ever since Ruvin, it's been driven home just how possible it is that I won't save you all. It scares me to think that we will be facing a dragon and going to war soon."
"We shall all live," he assured, ceasing his ministrations to wrap his arms around her waist and draw her close.
"You can't know that," she said "But I don't really want to talk about it but right now. How about you? Afraid of heights or small spaces or anything like that?"
"Actually as a small child I did fall from a great height and break several ribs and while I won't say I fear heights, I do admit I am leery and cautious around them."
"Is that why you blew up at me and Bilbo when we were in the mountains and almost fell?"
"Perhaps that had something to do with it," he admitted. Sara snuggled closer, snagging his coat and pulling it over her lap. The corner of the letter peeked out of the pocket. Now was as good a time as any.
"There is one fear that has dominated my mind of late," he said, tugging the letter free from his coat pocket.
"And what's that?"
"Dragon sickness. I fear I will become exactly as my father and grandfather. I did not come all this way to let my own greed and pride overcome me and prevent my people from having a good home. But at times I fear I may not have a choice." She turned to look at him.
"You will beat it, you are better and stronger than either of them were. And we'll keep you away from gold and the Arkenstone."
"Perhaps, but even so I would like you to take this." He held out the letter.
"What's this?"
"Assurance," he said somberly as she took it. He took her shoulders and turned her to face him fully. "I want you to make me a promise Sara."
"What?"
"If there ever comes a time where I am not myself where I'm unreasonable in the face of reason or I go back on my word I want you to open this letter and do what it says."
"But what?..."
"Don't ask. I only pray you never have cause to open it. Will you promise me to do as it says? Will you promise me this?"
"Without reading it?" He nodded. "Will you make me a promise in return?" she asked.
"I suppose that is fair. What do you wish?" Her eyes were hard as flint as she looked at him.
"I want you to do all you can to keep Fili and Kili out of danger."
"That may prove impossible. You know they..."
"That's not what I mean. I know you can't keep them from all danger but if you ever have the option to send them to a place where there is less danger, will you? I know they may not like it, but I'd rather have them be peeved than dead or injured."
"You don't request this of me?" he asked.
"I know that would be asking for the moon," she said, squeezing his hand. "Although if possible I would certainly like that as well. I don't want to bury anyone else."
He contemplated her proposition. To be honest he had similar thoughts of late, especially since almost losing Kili to the sickness. If he were fated to fall into madness then he would need to secure Fili and Kili's future. He could not only assure his people a sane king but simultaneously please Sara if he agreed to this.
"You understand I can guarantee nothing?" She nodded. "Then I swear to do all in my power to keep them from harm."
"That's all I ask," she said, snuggling into him.
Despite her being only just shorter than him, she was so small and fit well in his arms. He drew her closer, breathing in the smell of the soap in her hair as his fingers splayed over the skin on her lower back. She sighed and closed her eyes.
"Are you feeling well now?" he asked, brushing his other hand over her cheek and then down her arm.
"If I say no will you stay with me tonight?"
"That might fall under the term compromising situation." Especially with the way his mind was want to wander tonight.
"But I still haven't given my okay to Fili," she said, peeking up at him. "I thought about finding him in the morning."
He couldn't help the chuckle that bubbled out of him. Planting a kiss on her head he untangled himself from her and crossed the room. Her door creaked slightly as he opened it wide. They could hear the others down the hall. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Opening the door changes the circumstances from compromising to acceptable?" she asked.
"Enough to assuage my conscience," he said, crawling back onto the bed. "I do not wish to compromise your integrity."
"Not even enough to kiss me?" she asked, as he returned to his place behind her.
"I believe I can kiss you without compromising you, Sara."
"Well I think you better prove it," she said, turning to kiss him softly, her arms wrapping around his neck. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, his fingers still massaging her lower back. She relaxed into his grip as the kiss broke, her head on his shoulder.
"I accept your challenge."