Hongjoong*
Seonghwa*
Yunho*
Yeosang*
San<
Mingi*
Wooyoung*
Jongho*
______________
I sit with my face in my hands, crying like a child, in the middle of nowhere. Every time i look up i can't deal with the guilt that i'm met with when i do. I don't know why i did it, i don't even remember most of it. I don't know why i'm not doing anything to help, i just can't get myself to move.
It's been at least 20 minutes and i haven't heard or seen Mingi move a muscle at all. I had gone i little too overboard, too far and i regret it. Why am i like this, why can't i be like Seonghwa or Yunho. Me and Mingi got in a fight when we arrived and i couldn't control myself when we threw some punches. He passed out from exhaustion, and i haven't attempted to wake him up or even touch him.
I could only sit there and apologies to him while he couldn't hear me in his slumber. I turned to praying, having nothing else to do. I couldn't watch my best friend who i had put into unconsciousness for much longer. While i'm praying i see a black van come into view, thinking it was the guys coming to get us after the deal i get up waving at it. I had to think of an accuse to why Mingi wasn't awake and why he was beat bloody.
The van pulled up beside the one we woke up in, but when the door opened i wasn't expecting to see two unfamiliar men. They walk towards me eyeing Mingi's body with a questioning look. "Who are you, what are you doing here, how did you find us" i'm blabbering, they make no attempt to answer. They grab me still not saying a word, i can't just let them take me this easily. The only thing i could do was struggle out of their grip, it was difficult though. Since we were in the middle of a desert with no water i was tired and dehydrated. I didn't know who these guys were and they wouldn't answer me. The guy holding me back gestured to the other man to get Mingi.
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HIM"
I struggle even more seeing as the man picks Mingi up and throws him over his shoulder, at that moment i felt like passing out. The guy holding me wasn't budging, he was much bigger than me so what could i do. The guy that had Mingi came up to me and looked me in the eyes. "This is your doing pretty boy, so don't feel bad" that man said and touched my face with his disgusting hand. I bit him and he back slapped me out of rage and spat on my face. I felt like i deserved that, so i just took it like it was given.
They threw us in the back of the van and locked us in, getting in the front after. They hadn't tied us up because there was a gate separating the front and the back. I took a look at Mingi and held his motionless hand. I start praying for the best, thinking back to what Yeosang said one night after our sacrifice. He said that if anything bad happens and you have hope to just ask for the best, i do this a lot. The men shouted at me to shut up but i didn't listen, I needed this for Mingi. Then there was a cloth on my face, covering my mouth and nose. I tried to breathe but it made my mind dizzy and soon i passed out.
In my head i remember my dream. It was Mingi and he was awake. The setting was in the sky, everything was a pink cloudy colour. He walked towards me, he looked like an angel. He hugged me blew a breathe in my hair. I felt it move when he did so "i'm sorry, i'm sorry" i kept repeating. He said it was okay and it wasn't my fault and the dream never stopped.
...to be continued