By the time I went outside to gather my clothes from the clothesline outside. My ears pricked up at the sound of a bird chirping.
But it wasn't singing in a melody. Not the type of singing you'd hear from a cartoon, the one where they seemed happy and everything. This was different. Taking a few steps forward to the source of the voice, I stopped at a large tree that was planted in my neighbor's front yard.
There was the bird. It's chirping replaced by the sounds of dying. It's body
was laying on the ground, where it tried to move and get back on its two feet, but to no avail. My heart clenched at the poor creature fighting with all its life, trying to stay alive.
I had no idea what caused this bird to be in the position it is right now, but I doubt it was the weather.
It didn't take long for the bird to finally lose its energy. It stopped after moving in a serenade of death,before it's soul, most likely invisible in my eyes, went up to the next life leaving its body here.
I gave it a proper burial as soon after.
***
The life I lived, it's staggering really. How I am still breathing and living and all.
The psychiatrist gives me that worried look he has on any of their patients, the same people who are either on the verge of crying in tears or about to go fully insane. I'm not either of them. I'm slightly different.
My nephew, god rest his soul was the closest thing I had to a son. Being a lonely man had its perks in the early years of my life. By not seeing anybody or getting married, I have a full pass which allows me to live life without getting attached or risk of offending anyone, let alone argue with them about even the smallest of things. Unfortunately it took me a while to realize its side effects, the common but annoying case of loneliness.
Sometimes I believe I live a desert where a tumbleweed just randomly rolls past me. That's how it was in a world that only had myself in it, along with the people who give me my groceries and food.
That world was gone as soon as my brother and his son visited me. He was a tech savvy young man who wasn't very far off from anybody else his age, although as different as he is from me, I would never judge him solely based on him being a youth and me being part of Generation X.
I bonded with him just like how his father would.
The simple but meaningful memories I had with him. I knew much more about the Internet and cultural media, and I've grown a love for Western music thanks to his phone's playlist. My form of entertainment at home being resolved with downloads and plugging it into my TV to enjoy myself.
I remember a day where I went onto my daily adventures on the Internet, the best source for my to learn English. On that particular day, I came across some quotes. One said, all good things must come to an end.
How I wish that was never true, at least not in his case. Car accident. Apparently he was riding alone in a friend's car, then truck hit his side on an intersection in town. The impact was lethal, and the memory of his side of the car crumpled up like a can still projects in my brain to this day.
The truck driver was arrested, but it didn't change me.
My brother had moved on from his son's death, but not I.
"I understand you and him were close." He told me at his house to which he invited me for a chat to see how I was doing weeks after his accident. "We're family. Is that not enough?"
"I'm really glad that he was able to accompany you before his accident."
I was silent for a moment, glaring down at my glass of water before I gulped it down. "Death seems to follow me. I've told you about that bird in my front yard."
"You have." My brother says. He looks at me concerned.
"That's brings back memories of him. Poof! Just like that. Gone from the face of the earth. Snuffed just like that."
"Snuffed?"
"New word I learnt from the Internet." I say. "Had your son not introduced me to English with his gadgets, I wouldn't have learnt the language would I?"
My brother chuckles. "No, you wouldn't. Oh goodness, how my wife and I were so blessed with his arrival here on earth, now he's at a better place."
That may have been the case, but something was still bothering me, and it not's just about his death.
"Did he have any enemies before that day?" I asked.
"No.." My brother started before he noticed my face. "Oh no, let's not go there. You're my brother and as much as my son's death saddens you deeply, I expect you not to do something outrageous. Clear?"
I nodded.
***
In the late afternoon, I visited my nephew's grave at the local cemetery, of course my memory isn't the best, so I had one of the gravekeepers escort me to the area where my nephew was resting.
"We've been on high alert since an incident occurred here." He told me as we were on our way. "Around March I think, a man dug his wife's body out of her grave. Literally rebuilt her body with some plaster. Ihhh! That's creepy huh sir?"
"Crazy if you ask me.
"Yeah, which is why we're making sure it never happens again. Man, that story sounded like it came from a horror movie."
"It's just a matter of time until somebody gets inspired to make a movie out of that."
"That's probably the case with Great Axe Productions. I wouldn't be surprise if they made a movie out of it, or a documentary. Either way, anything's possible for entertainment nowadays."
We arrived at my nephew's grave, and I gave the grave keeper a large tip.
"Thank you sir." He exclaimed in joy. "Would it be alright if I stayed here for a while?" I stood by my nephew's grave.
"Of course sir. Please take your time." The grave keeper smiled, then looked up. "I'll be on my way now. Hope it doesn't rain today."
As I said my prayers, I could not help but hear footsteps coming to my direction.
I stood up as I turned and saw a boy around my nephew's age. He was wearing a hoodie, and he stopped by the time my eyes caught him.
A friend of his? Or an enemy? "Who are you?" I exclaimed firmly.
"I don't want any trouble sir." The youth said. "I'm only here to pay my respects to Ismail."
"Take a seat." I sat on the ground and instructed him to do the same next to me. He didn't seem nervous but he was far from scared. "What's your name?"
"Gilang."
"You've had any trouble with my nephew in the past before, Gilang?"
Gilang was dead silent. "I have, but I resolved it.
"What was the issue, might I ask?"
"I don't mean disrespect sir but why are you questioning me?"
"I want to make sure my nephew rests in peace without any of his enemies still have something to not like about him. Also he's my family! What kind of man doesn't care for his family, even in death?"
"Fair enough I suppose." Gilang replied. "Well, it happened back in high school. There was this girl we both liked, but both of us didn't know about our crushes on her."
I rubbed my face out of upset. "Continue."
"I confessed to her in the morning at the school gate just before classes started. He confessed to her a day before. I got accepted by the girl and Ismail, well, I don't mean to be rude but he wasn't civilized in being rejected. I apologize to him on the spot, but he got aggressive and punched me head on."
"He threw the first punch?"
"Yes."
I sighed as I had a hand to my face. "I'm sorry for appearing as hostile Gilang. I was close with my nephew, and well, it's hard for me to move on."
"I understand completely sir." Gilang says. "I have no grudges against Ismail. I was devastated when I heard about his accident, so here I am paying my respects.
"Gilang, you ever think about death?" Gilang's eyes widened. "No." He started. "Um,
no, I just try live life with what I have now, be grateful I still have loved ones around me."
"I respect that." I tell him as I nodded. "Would you like to pay your respects with me?"
"Okay sir." Gilang gave me a bright smile. He seemed like a good kid.
Since this morning, the power was out, and at this point I was heading to bed, candles being the only source of light. As I wanted to pick up a candle I left on the floor, I could not help but notice a figure in the corner of my room.
"Ismail?" I asked noticing his posture and clothes, the ones he wore the last time I really saw him.
"Hello Uncle." He tells me. "I'm very grateful you went to my grave. Paid your respects with
Gilang."
"I'm sorry."
"There's no need to be sorry uncle. I understand that my death has been causing you to feel troubled and confused."
I looked down. "Sometimes I wonder when it's going to my time."
"Please don't say that uncle. You have a long life ahead. Please live it."
My emotions start to fill. "Yes Ismail. I will do my best." He gave me a warm smile before he left the room.
Putting the candle on the small desk near the side of my bed, I snuff out the candle with my fingers, and for the first time since Ismail's passing, I was able to rest in peace.